Should I take my 10 yr old son in the ladies restroom?

[lillygator]

I wonder what everyone would think if a dad was bringing his 10 yr old daughter into the mens restroom because he didnt feel safe letting her go on her own to the womens restroom..

My DH takes DD into the restroom with him If I am not around, and if I died he better be taking BOTH girls in the mens bathroom ~ urinals and all....for safety - god forbid they be exposed to unclean men's rooms or a few..well...... - or I will be haunting him forever!

 

[mdhkitten]

If I was worried, rather than bring my child in the bathroom, I think that I would invest in some cheap walkie talkies, so at least they could talk to me if they needed to. Just a thought!

 

[bettyann29]

My DH takes DD into the restroom with him If I am not around, and if I died he better be taking BOTH girls in the mens bathroom ~ urinals and all....for safety - god forbid they be exposed to unclean men's rooms or a few..well...... - or I will be haunting him forever!

But at age 10?

 

[mdhkitten]

Here is a link to an article about public restroom safety with children. The scenario is a dad with his daughter, but it's still the same type of situation. He suggests a whistle or a walkie talkie for the child that is waiting outside the restroom.

http://www.escapeschool.com/1-PublicRestroomSafety.shtml

 

[RN2BIA]

I am a freak about "stranger danger" I have a rule with my two kids 5 & 7. If I can't see you and you can't see me then a stranger can take you. So they have to stay in eye sight. When I go in the bathroom and my ds waits outside the door he knows that if anyone does anything even close to crazy he runs in the bathroom. I have been known at Wal-mart especially - to open the men's room main door and holler in (Bud, what is going on). Once I even went in because my ds did not answer back. I just yelled very loudly woman on the floor and went in. If they didn't have it zipped up I didn't care (I know what it looks like I have two kids) Plus we mom's, aunts, women - are all lionesses we don't let anyone mess with our kids. Do what your heart tells you to do... we only have them for a short time.

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

I would let my 10 yr old go in the mens room if HE had to go. I would wait right outside. At least at the airport. Well, my DS is 11.

I think I understand the OP was more concerned about her DS standing out in the airport alone while SHE was in the ladies room. And there is a whole different dilemma.

Personally, in a strange, busy airport? I would probably bring my son just inside the door if I felt that worried. Many women's rooms have that entry hall way type thing. He could face the corner and hide his face, since he would be dying of embarassment. And we could do the whole "hey, you okay?" thing. That way I wouldn't have to worry about someone walking away with him or anything. Although in truth, he would probably wait right outside the door for me. If anyone grabbed my DS, he would go nuts. My older kids are both trained in self-defense and would have no qualms kicking and punching an adult who came anywhere near them and tried to do anything. I have also taught both my kids to yell FIRE, not HELP if anyone tries to grab them. People will run to see a fire, but many won't get involved if someone yells help.

At Disney, he would (and has) wait outside for me.

But that is MY son. The OP asked about hers and I cannot really say what she should do, since I dont know him.

I would be uncomfortable with a boy of that age in the ladies room, even if I knew he was in there for a good reason. Sorry, but I would. Even if I took mine into the "entry" like I said, I would feel funny about it.

And I would KILL my DH if he took my 13 yr old daughter in a men's room. As he says, "there are some things she REALLY does NOT need to see" I'd prefer he stood outside the ladies room and played open the door and yell to check.

 

[Alexsma]

My son is 7 and although there are times/places when I have allowed him to go to the men's room alone.......disney world and especially the airport are NOT those places......there's just too many people and too many oportunities for danger.......it's all about safety.

My feelings exactly, my DS is 8 and he will not being going into the restrooms at the airport or disney alone. At least at the parks I will have my father and my sisters BF with us. But the airport is another story, he will have to go with me or wait until he is on the plane.

 

[Vickie46]

I think 10 is too old but I also only have a girl.. I know last year I saw a boy about 8 and I didn't understand why he was in there.. I would go to a family restroom! But I don't have a boy.. so I am not in your shoes... I just know how I felt with my daughter... she wanted to know why a boy was in there! I think a womens bathroom is private... I can see 5 or 6 but not 10.. but I am not in your shoes either... sorry I couldn't be much help.

 

[KarenAylwood]

10 is wayyy to old for a boy to be using women's bathroom. I saw a kid about 7 in one the other day and it seemed odd.

If they can reach everything and know how to pull their own pants up and flush the toilet/urinal- they are old enough to handle going by themself.

And it's DISNEY! I'd say it's one of the safer places in the world to let your kid go pee by himself. I'd think that the airport would be ok too. 10 years old...man. Still can't wrap my mind around it. That's OLD!

 

[diannaneglia]

Thank you Mickey's Sister for reconizing some of the rudeness in this thread...my son is 11 and I am the one who posted that I do sometimes bring my son into the womens bathroom with me. He is autistic, even if high functioning, he has problems sometimes reconizing potential dangers and there are some situations where I do not feel comfortable letting him alone in a mens restroom. What could a women be doing in the restroom anyhow that would make her ashamed to have anyone in there seeing her anyhow...that is what stull doors are for. Unfortunately for dads and their little girls, the situation is alittle different because of the urinals...I guess you could 'cover' their eyes till you are in a stull. (Thank goodness for family restrooms!)

The comment that maybe I should 'stay home' was very rude thank you! Disney is supposed to be about happy times not rudeness, so maybe you, miss, should be the one staying home! Sorry.

 

[diannaneglia]

Ok everyone is addressing bringing the boy into the restroom while he has to pee...or whatever...that he belongs in the mens room with you standing guard at the door...but what do you do when you have to go?? Are you going to let him outside the bathroom door of the ladies room with everyone...and I mean everyone walking by...I think the potential danger is worse here...no one is commenting on what to do in this situation???

 

[Lindy Loo]

Good point Diannaangelia

I think you should do what ever you are comfortable with, and what your son is happy with. Either way, I would listen to all the info on here and then make a decision based on wha I FEEL best with.
I wouldnt batter an eyelid if a boy was in the loo when I went, after all ladies have doors to close.
If he feel better going in the mens,I would explain I would wait right outside ,and to call really loud if he needed me. I would be in like a shot!

ITS A SAD FACT OF LIFE, HOWEVER JUST 2 MONTHS AGO IN THE UK A GIRL OF 11 WAS RAPPED IN THE LADIES TOILET OF A LARGE SUPERMARKET AT 4PM . THIS HAPPENED WHILE HER MUM WAS PACKING HER FOOD BY THE TILL. SHE WAS LESS THAN 50 FEET FROM THE PUBLIC TOILETS, AND THE CUSTOMER SERVICE DESK WAS RIGHT BY THE DOOR OR THE TOILETS. I BET THE MUM WILL REGRET THIS FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE! BUT SHE DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG, SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SAFE PLACE. EVEN IN WDW AND THE AIRPORT, BAD THINGS CAN AND DO HAPPEN.
THANKFULLY THIS IS A VERY VERY UNUSUAL AND SHOCKING CASE.

 

[Antonia]

I am the mother of a son and 10 is TOO old to be in the ladies room - not only for the son, but for the mothers and daughters as well.
I have seen it done, but I think it is inappropriate especially when you can find a companion restroom.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I think 10 is way too old for a boy to be a women's restroom unless he has a disability.

I have a question though. At what point to you think it is "safe" for him to go to the men's room alone? You know, a 16 year old boy could get attacked in a men's room, too.

 

[torinsmom]

My DS11 has been going in the men's since he was 9. I allow him to go alone at crowded places, because I feel that with all the men in there, it would be unlikely for something bad to happen. Most of the incidents you here are at places where the bathroom is empty or nearly empty, except for the vicitim and perpetrator. I stand outside the door and tell him to go in a stall if there is one empty.

Now, if we were somewhere isolated, I would have him hold it and go somehwere else.

If you need to use the bathroom, find one by a store in Disney and let a CM know your quandry. I'm sure they will be more than happy to keep an eye on your child for a few minutes. Or maybe you could find another mom outside with the same problem and take turns going?

We were at Disney for 5 days in March and never had a problem......Airports would definitely be another story.

Marsha

 

[Adrienne]

I have read most of this and i must say that i am surprised at the attitude. In many countries the bathroom is the bathroom, not segreagated by gender. (ALA ally mcbeal). If we had unisex bathrooms then it wouldn't matter. And really it shouldn't mattter, It should be about what is safest in each case. Also if you do decide to send your boy in on his own to a men's room, teach him to use the stall to pee in rather than the urinal. The majority of cases where a boy is assaulted in a mens room is at the urinal (oppurtunistic crime by pedophiles).

Adrienne

 

[penguin087]

While I don't object to a 10 yoa boy being in the ladies room I think he would be very uncomfortable. My son is 12 and I still worry about sending him into the mens room alone but by age 10 he would flat out refuse to go into the ladies room with me. Yes I know I am the parent and what I say goes but at a certain point you have to let them grow up in little ways even in the world we live in.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Ok everyone is addressing bringing the boy into the restroom while he has to pee...or whatever...that he belongs in the mens room with you standing guard at the door...but what do you do when you have to go?? Are you going to let him outside the bathroom door of the ladies room with everyone...and I mean everyone walking by...I think the potential danger is worse here...no one is commenting on what to do in this situation???

This is why I suggested they both use the men's room together. Nothing there she has never seen.

 

[cherjp]

I have two sons aged 11 and 8 years whilst the older one does not like going into the ladies bathroom i have recently let him go into a gents bathroom but only on the condition that i am standing right at the outside door and i dont hesitate to start shouting in if he is not quick i let it be known rather loudly that i am waiting outside and wouldnt hesistate to enter the toilet if i felt there was a problem. my younger son has no choice at the moment he comes in with me, no arguing about that one. there was a case recently in england that a 12 year old girl was raped in a supermarket toilet whilst shopping with her mum who let her go on her own. A couple of years ago I watched an undercover programme on TV about paeodophiles and how they were targetting shopping centre toilets that programme was so horrific that i wept while watching it and i keep that in mind no matter where i go with my kids my husband isnt able to go with them to the toilet.

 

[punkin712]

My boyfriends son is six and I won't take him into the womens restroom as I think he is too old. I wait right outside the door. I know if I was using the restroom and saw a 10 year old in there I would be uncomfortable.

I totally agree. A few weeks ago I was at the bookstore and had to use "the facilities". When I walked in, there was a mother/son duo at the sinks - the son was definitely at least 10 years old - and I was very uncomfortable. She was helping him get something off his shirt and they were taking FOREVER! They were still in there when I left. I know he couldn't see anything, but I still felt funny. Just seems to me that if she wanted to oversee that project, one of them could have gone into their respective bathroom for the soapy wet paper towel and done the cleaning job in the store.

This is slightly OT and I'm sure I'll get flamed for it, but it seems that many parents are delaying alot of bathroom-related milestones (potty training, going to a public restroom alone, etc.) and I'm not sure why. When I was little, I was potty-trained before my 2nd birthday (that's probably TMI!) but today you see kids in daycare who are 3 or 4 years old and they are still in diapers or pull-ups!

I say send him into the men's room alone and wait right outside the door for him. If he seems to be taking too long, poke your head in and yell for him.