Screaming children will not be tolerated!

[FergieTCat]

A kid making noise on a big wheel outside and a kid screaming in a restaraunt aren't even in the same universe. One is appropriate and the other isn't.

Thank you.

 

[FireDancer]

Just like people who get up in arms about the term "fat" probably haven't had a 6-pack since the Carter administration the only people who would be offended by such a sign are the ones that can't keep their kids from screaming or don't leave the restaurant when they do.

I'm sure the owner of the restaurant would not miss your business if you decided to boycott the restaurant because of the sign since it was probably written for you in the first place.

 

[RockAndRollBallerina]

I'm in the day care business (its my fathers pride and joy), not by choice because I was raised in it, and pretty much have spent more time than I care to mention in day care centers. I have nothing against children. Though, I don't think screaming children should be tolerated anywhere, or misbehaving children. Its the responsibility of the parent to make sure their kids are behaving in public places. Its not cute by any means for a child to be screaming their lungs out and to be allowed to get away with it. I do have Aspergers Syndrome and my parents never allowed that as an excuse for mis-behavior on my part.

 

[phorsenuf]

A kid making noise on a big wheel outside and a kid screaming in a restaraunt aren't even in the same universe. One is appropriate and the other isn't.

Stop being logical.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

yes!!!

A crying child really bothers me, no crying it out here can't handle it!

And to the pharmacy story (didn't want to quote that whole long post) Uh you were by yourself with the child? And even if you were, Why didn't you go out to your car to wait instead of bothering the whole pharmacy? I'm sure the pharmacy would have even run it out to your car when it was filled so they didn't have to listen to a screaming child. Also why didn't you buy it something to eat or drink or even just suck on like a lollipop or something? Or why didn't you take the child home first or have had the hospital call it in so it was ready when you got there. Don't understand or agree with how you handled that. Others listening to your child scream or cry is never teh olnly option-with the exception being you are stuck on a plane and then you had better be trying to soothe them.

A few answers:

1) Yes, I was alone with my child.
2) I did not at that point have a car, we had taken a taxi straight there from the hospital.
3) The doctor had called in the meds, and when I arrived there it turned out that he had called in wasn't available so the pharmacist and I were on the phone with the hospital trying to figure out a solution. Leaving wasn't an optin. He was crying (like I said I don't see it as a tantrum, because to me a tantrum is when a child wants something or isn't getting their way, a child who is in pain is something else, but of course people looking can't see that).
4) Because of the specifics of my child's medical condition, and the type of surgery, I had not, at that time been cleared to give him anything other than water, and even that in small quantities under close supervision. A lollipop would have created a significant risk for aspiration pneumonia.
5) My child is not an "it".

 

[mamacatnv]

A kid making noise on a big wheel outside and a kid screaming in a restaraunt aren't even in the same universe. One is appropriate and the other isn't.

I was recently out to dinner with a friend at a local mongolian BBQ. The nature of the restaurant is loud, noisy, busy etc. However, at the table next to us was a Mom & Dad with 2 small kids. The little boy was probably right around 4, he was loud, obnoxious and just not well mannered. The parents ignored him, they let him climb around, bump our table etc. I spoke to the father and asked him to control his kid so that he stopped bumping our table. The father told the boy to sit down and that little boy put his butt on the chair, his feet on the table and kicked the table over
Glasses broke, food splattered, soy sauce went flying etc. The parents waited for staff to come right the table to clean up the mess. Noting was said to the brat or the parents. The management just cleaned it up and the kid went back to climbing, bumping my table, mouthing off, singing, talking loudly and harrassing his sister etc. I got our waitresses attention and asked to be moved. IMO those parents should have been asked to leave. I told the manager on my way out that I thought they should have taken a stand, he agreed but they didn't and I won't go back to that establishment.

 

[Scurvy]

A few answers:

1) Yes, I was alone with my child.
2) I did not at that point have a car, we had taken a taxi straight there from the hospital.
3) The doctor had called in the meds, and when I arrived there it turned out that he had called in wasn't available so the pharmacist and I were on the phone with the hospital trying to figure out a solution. Leaving wasn't an optin. He was crying (like I said I don't see it as a tantrum, because to me a tantrum is when a child wants something or isn't getting their way, a child who is in pain is something else, but of course people looking can't see that).
4) Because of the specifics of my child's medical condition, and the type of surgery, I had not, at that time been cleared to give him anything other than water, and even that in small quantities under close supervision. A lollipop would have created a significant risk for aspiration pneumonia.
5) My child is not an "it".

There's a pretty huge difference between your situation and most children who are screaming/misbehaving in a store or restaurant. I think most people are understanding of a misbehaving or crying child in the case of a true emergency. Grocery shopping or going to a restaurant are not true emergencies, though. They are normal parts of life and can be planned for. You obviously were doing the best you could given your situation, which you could not have planned for. Someone who is doing their normal grocery shopping or going out to dinner has a choice, and they should choose to be more considerate to those around them.

 

[auntie]

There are some places that one just shouldn't take children too, because..well, they're children. They cry..it's what they do sometimes.

I remember 8 years ago our bookeeper (who had a then 9 month old) took her baby away for the weekned to a Bed and Breakfast in Vermont with the baby's father. They wanted a romantic weekend away. Yeah, you know how that went...
Hello... B&B in Vermont?...9 month old...
The baby started fussing during dinner, and one of the other guests complained to management who in turn asked her to take the baby out of the dining room. She was highly offended. and refused to do so. They told her they have the right to refuse service to anyone they pleased..and if she didn't leave they would ask her to leave the inn all together.
So much for romance...

 

[jodifla]

Just like people who get up in arms about the term "fat" probably haven't had a 6-pack since the Carter administration the only people who would be offended by such a sign are the ones that can't keep their kids from screaming or don't leave the restaurant when they do.

I'm sure the owner of the restaurant would not miss your business if you decided to boycott the restaurant because of the sign since it was probably written for you in the first place.

Ah, wrong and wrong.

But I spend time in a community where the parents constantly feel judged over their parenting skills even as they try to take every preparation and DO take their kids outside as soon as any problem starts -- and that's still not enough for many people. The remarks and dirty looks start even though they are taking their children quickly outside.

 

[sunnyday123]

Yep..and I said as much. You can choose to believe that or not. Certainly, your prerogative.
I believed I mentioned that these were my opinions. I'm not asking that you agree with them. Merely, my observations and experiences.

You're right. All those daycare kids are the only ones screaming and acting up in restaraunts....must be all the evil HFCS they dole out there.


And there is not a thing you can do to make me believe there are parents who don't know what foods their kids like or when they nap.

 

[jodifla]

There's a pretty huge difference between your situation and most children who are screaming/misbehaving in a store or restaurant. I think most people are understanding of a misbehaving or crying child in the case of a true emergency. Grocery shopping or going to a restaurant are not true emergencies, though. They are normal parts of life and can be planned for. You obviously were doing the best you could given your situation, which you could not have planned for. Someone who is doing their normal grocery shopping or going out to dinner has a choice, and they should choose to be more considerate to those around them.

But I'm sure it didn't stop people in that store from making snap judgments.

 

[auntie]

You're right. All those daycare kids are the only ones screaming and acting up in restaraunts....must be all the evil HFCS they dole out there.


And there is not a thing you can do to make me believe there are parents who don't know what foods their kids like or when they nap.

You know, I didn't say that. However, if you choose to twist my words ..there's nothing I can do about it. I merely conveyed a situation that I KNOW to be true. I did not infer that everyone who places their child in a daycare is a bad parent, nor that they don't know what their child eats or when they nap.
I did convey a particular situation where that is exactly the case. This family in fact, has asked my daughter to quit her job at the day care and become their "nanny". A job she doesn't want..much as she is fond of their child.
Now, you can believe that or not...certainly your choice. In any case, I don't wish to argue the point with you.

 

[powellrj]

I think some people don't realize that many people are in grocery stores for work and aren't shopping. I was in 4 Wal marts and 1 Meijer yesterday for my job and 1 Meijer and 1 Kroger today. I don't have the luxury of moving to another aisle if your child is misbehaving. I have to report on what I find in the stores so I have to stay where my products are. There have been times that my boss will call with a question that I need to be on a certain aisle to answer and will have to call him back because he can't hear me over someones child screaming.

I don't get the whole how will the learn argument either. They learn because when you leave, its not FUN to sit in the car with an angry mom.

 

[sunnyday123]

You know, I didn't say that. However, if you choose to twist my words ..there's nothing I can do about it. I merely conveyed a situation that I KNOW to be true. I did not infer that everyone who places their child in a daycare is a bad parent, nor that they don't know what their child eats or when they nap.
I did convey a particular situation where that is exactly the case. This family in fact, has asked my daughter to quit her job at the day care and become their "nanny". A job she doesn't want..much as she is fond of their child.
Now, you can believe that or not...certainly your choice. In any case, I don't wish to argue the point with you.

And I don't believe anywhere in my post, I said, "Hey, let's argue!" But for them to not know what their kid likes to eat, they would have to have him in daycare 7 days a week. And yea, by bringing daycare into it, you did "infer" that only daycare kids scream in restaurants. But that's ok, you believe that, and I'll continue going to restaurants with my child who knows how to behave in a restaurant despite being in daycare since she was 6 months old.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I think once you have the a "please" sign up there, the management has every right to say, "See that sign? We'll pack up your food and meet you up front to pay the bill. Please come again when your child is feeling better."

For me, I see a sign that has "will not be tolerated," and I'm completely turned off.

Actually, I'd skip that restaurant because of the manner of the sign. Like most people, dining with a shrieking child is quite low on my list of good times, even with good seafood and beer.

I, personally, just hate the wording of the sign, so I'd go elsewhere with my money.

And for every one of you who would leave because you don't like the sign, there are at least 10 of us who would be repeat customers because of the sign and the peace it invokes.

Does no one besides me have the ability to tune out annoying noises? I don't really notice screaming kids in public that much, possibly because I don't have any screaming kids.

Or maybe it's because I'm used to tuning out noise because it's so busy where I live. Sounds like screaming children, barking dogs and heavy traffic don't faze me at all.

I'm happy for you and am glad that's working out so well for you in your life. As for me, I'd prefer having lunch or dinner out with my friends or DH in some kind of relative peace where we can enjoy each other's conversations without having to be interrupted by a child out of control.

Again, I see very little of this behavior that is apparently so rampant. We eat out at least once a week at family type places.

Likely because those who excuse that kind of behavior are likely the ones who participate in it often.

Ah, wrong and wrong.

But I spend time in a community where the parents constantly feel judged over their parenting skills even as they try to take every preparation and DO take their kids outside as soon as any problem starts -- and that's still not enough for many people. The remarks and dirty looks start even though they are taking their children quickly outside.

Again - this makes me believe you are likely one of the people who participate in the belief that if you take your children out they will think their bad behavior is "rewarded" somehow because you had to leave, therefore everyone has to listen to your child carry on until your child winds down or doesn't feel like carrying on anymore.

Please see my comments about the signage earlier in this post.

I was recently out to dinner with a friend at a local mongolian BBQ. The nature of the restaurant is loud, noisy, busy etc. However, at the table next to us was a Mom & Dad with 2 small kids. The little boy was probably right around 4, he was loud, obnoxious and just not well mannered. The parents ignored him, they let him climb around, bump our table etc. I spoke to the father and asked him to control his kid so that he stopped bumping our table. The father told the boy to sit down and that little boy put his butt on the chair, his feet on the table and kicked the table over
Glasses broke, food splattered, soy sauce went flying etc. The parents waited for staff to come right the table to clean up the mess. Noting was said to the brat or the parents. The management just cleaned it up and the kid went back to climbing, bumping my table, mouthing off, singing, talking loudly and harrassing his sister etc. I got our waitresses attention and asked to be moved. IMO those parents should have been asked to leave. I told the manager on my way out that I thought they should have taken a stand, he agreed but they didn't and I won't go back to that establishment.

Not only should the parents have been asked to leave, they should have been presented with a bill for the damage caused by their son. Yes, kids may be kids, but a business shouldn't have to pay for those kid's actions. If more parents had to pay for a destructive child's behavior, perhaps we'd have fewer of these kinds of incidents.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I don't get the whole how will the learn argument either. They learn because when you leave, its not FUN to sit in the car with an angry mom.

I think this is a good example of people not understanding the really wide range of developmental variation in children.

For the vast majority of kids, being in the grocery store is, while not the most fun, more fun than the car with mom. Car with mom is boring. So, if you drag them out to the car when they tantrum, they'll stop tantrumming. It works.

But there are kids who experience the world differently. For these kids the grocery store feels like an unsafe place because it's full of new and scary sensory stimuli -- the lighting is different, it's full of strangers, it loud and echoey. The car? Not FUN, but definitely better than that scary grocery store, because it's safe and familiar and comfortable. For those kids, if you take them out when they misbehave they're going to learn that misbehaving is their "ticket out". If you do this regularly, you'll have 3 results:

1) Your child will learn "kicking and screaming is a great way to tell my mom what I want her to do!" Pretty soon they'll do it every time you set foot in a new place.

2) Your child won't spend enough time in the grocery store to get used to it and learn that it's not scary, and will still be screaming for escape at 5 or 10 or 20 when carrying them out to the car ceases to be an option.

3) There will be no food in your house, since you'll spend all your time in the car.

Do kids with disabilities need to learn the same rules as everyone else? YES! I'd agree with that wholeheartedly. Do the same strategies work to teach them that work for other kids? No, not always. Sometimes teaching you toddler not to scream in the grocery store looks like starting with very short trips, at not crowded times, when he's not hungry or tired, and knowing that he/she's still going to cry and that you'll need to ignore it so he learns it doesn't work.

 

[wvjules]

I think this is a good example of people not understanding the really wide range of developmental variation in children.

For the vast majority of kids, being in the grocery store is, while not the most fun, more fun than the car with mom. Car with mom is boring. So, if you drag them out to the car when they tantrum, they'll stop tantrumming. It works.

But there are kids who experience the world differently. For these kids the grocery store feels like an unsafe place because it's full of new and scary sensory stimuli -- the lighting is different, it's full of strangers, it loud and echoey. The car? Not FUN, but definitely better than that scary grocery store, because it's safe and familiar and comfortable. For those kids, if you take them out when they misbehave they're going to learn that misbehaving is their "ticket out". If you do this regularly, you'll have 3 results:

1) Your child will learn "kicking and screaming is a great way to tell my mom what I want her to do!" Pretty soon they'll do it every time you set foot in a new place.

2) Your child won't spend enough time in the grocery store to get used to it and learn that it's not scary, and will still be screaming for escape at 5 or 10 or 20 when carrying them out to the car ceases to be an option.

3) There will be no food in your house, since you'll spend all your time in the car.

Do kids with disabilities need to learn the same rules as everyone else? YES! I'd agree with that wholeheartedly. Do the same strategies work to teach them that work for other kids? No, not always. Sometimes teaching you toddler not to scream in the grocery store looks like starting with very short trips, at not crowded times, when he's not hungry or tired, and knowing that he/she's still going to cry and that you'll need to ignore it so he learns it doesn't work.

I'm willing to bet that a great majority of kids having meltdowns in grocery stores are just out of control whiney brats with parents that refuse to deal with the problem - not kids with ADHD, Autism or whatever label you choose to put on them. (And that's not an excuse either.)

 

[Hannathy]

knowing that he/she's still going to cry and that you'll need to ignore it so he learns it doesn't work.

Then maybe you never take the child to the grocery store! Why do I have to suffer. Sorry if they can't be in store then you don't bring them and get a sitter. being a parent means making sacrifices and not always dong things exactly the way you would like to or easiest.

 

[okeydokey]

But I'm sure it didn't stop people in that store from making snap judgments.

So what? It's tough to be a parent. Get a thicker skin.

 

[auntie]

And I don't believe anywhere in my post, I said, "Hey, let's argue!" But for them to not know what their kid likes to eat, they would have to have him in daycare 7 days a week. And yea, by bringing daycare into it, you did "infer" that only daycare kids scream in restaurants. But that's ok, you believe that, and I'll continue going to restaurants with my child who knows how to behave in a restaurant despite being in daycare since she was 6 months old.

It's a discussion...and a sharing of thoughts and experiences. I chose to share my opinions. I would hope that could be done with respect and not in a condesending manner.
I believed your reply was argumentative in nature. It was "inferred". Perhaps wrongly... then perhaps much same way you seem to think I "inferred" that only day care kids scream in restaurants. Let me make this clear..I do NOT think only daycare children scream in restaurants. That's just ridiculous.
I am sorry if you were offended or objected to my post. Certainly, that was not my intent AT ALL.