Screaming children will not be tolerated!

[phorsenuf]

I have to say I'm quite surprised how many people support this, especially where an autistic child is concerned. It seems that on these boards that's often used as an excuse for bad behavior.

 

[minkydog]

Minkydog, you sound like a great mom.

Yeah, tell that to my kids. "Great mom" is probably not the first thing they would mention.

 

[Desnik]

I think this is a great idea and I am a mother of 2 and I would never sit in a restaurant with a screaming child. It is rude and inconsiderate to other diners.

What bothers me more though is the parents that allow their kids to crawl all over the floor next to my table. Or let their kid run around and past my table when I am trying to eat! It is so shocking to me how many parents allow their children to misbehave in a restaurant.

 

[Hannathy]

I have to say I'm quite surprised how many people support this, especially where an autistic child is concerned. It seems that on these boards that's often used as an excuse for bad behavior.

Oh I'm sure this thread will be being talked about over on the Family board and how horrible we all are.

It was on that board that I first got told that it was perfectly acceptable to let the little snowflake scream bloody murder until the parents were done eating because they had to eat! they would eat quickly.

 

[FergieTCat]

I can't tune it out although I wish I could. And it's not just that it's annoying, although there's that too. Screaming at a certian pitch is actually painful to me. I guess that's why I was never able to tune it out even with my own kids.

Agreed. I live in New York City and am constantly accosted with noise. But there's something about a child screaming at a high pitch that gives me a pounding headache.

I didn't read the whole thread, but why should I validate parents who allow their child to disturb others?

 

[Wishing on a star]

Does no one besides me have the ability to tune out annoying noises? I don't really notice screaming kids in public that much, possibly because I don't have any screaming kids.

Consider yourself in a VERY lucky minority.

My son has sensory issues, and can be sensitive to loud noise...
Things like the school gym, or a loud boistrous restaurant are torture to him.
And, yes, these days, a crowded restaurant is nothing less than auditory assault.
Purposefully bad acoustics, Bar TVs blaring, etc... etc....

I am hearing impaired...
Try taking that screaming piercing shreiking kid, and AMPLIFYING that thru your hearing aide.....

And, no, these aren't just my and my child's issues....
I would venture to say that we are the HUGE majority of folks who are very, very, bothered by shrieking kids.

Again, consider yourself in a very lucky minority.

 

[mamacatnv]

Oh I'm sure this thread will be being talked about over on the Family board and how horrible we all are.

It was on that board that I first got told that it was perfectly acceptable to let the little snowflake scream bloody murder until the parents were done eating because they had to eat! they would eat quickly.

They talk about us? Cool

I agree with the other posters that are also commenting on the behavior issues not just they crying/screaming. If I owned the establishment I think my sign would have to say Screaming and Unseated children will not be tolerated!

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

So an interesting side note in the story.
In the video from an above poster, the owner of the restaurant was interviewed in her establishment. The acoustics in the building were horrible! Now I don't have an issue with her sign, however the waitress and the people behind her were speaking in what would probably be a normal tone of voice but it was grating on my nerves and I can tune out a whole lot of noise.
I wonder if what she considers screaming is amplified but the fact that her restaurant sounds like an amphitheater. Did anyone else notice that?

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

So a grocery store is not an "experience" so she can have a meltdown and you just let it go until she is finished? What about the other shoppers? When I am grocery shopping I don't want to "experience" 3-5 minutes of a meltdown.

I think that the grocery store and a restaurant are really different things. First of all, a restaurant is a luxury -- noone NEEDS to eat in a restaurant, even if you're completely out of food, and there's no grocery stores open, you can get your food to go. Second of all, a restaurant is a place that's designed for quiet conversation, a large part of the reason why people go to restaurants is to relax and connect with one another, a screaming child makes that impossible. Finally, in a restaurant you have a pretty captive audience. You can't suddenly decide to go sit at a different table, or otherwise move yourself out of the way. I can't really think of any good justifications for letting your child have a tantrum in a restaurant. If they aren't ready to learn to behave you can either not bring them or take them out.

A grocery store, or a pharmacy is another kettle of fish. For one thing sometimes there's a a genuine need to be there. The biggest "tantrum" (or what other people would have called a tantrum) my child ever had in the pharmacy was when his pain meds wore off as we were waiting to pick up a prescription for meds 3 hours after he came out of surgery. He was starving (hadn't eaten since midnight the night before, doctor said not to risk it until we got home), in pain and completely out of his routine, but we needed to be there. Was it annoying to the people around us? Yes, I'm sure it was, but honestly I didn't have a choice and taking him out wouldn't have taught him anything -- it's a pretty natural thing for toddlers to scream when they're starving and in pain.

OK, that was an extreme example, but people also need to go to the grocery store. You can't say "well, Johnny's autistic and it's going to take him a few years to learn how to behave in public, we just won't eat until then". Also, screaming isn't as disruptive to the act of grocery shopping as it is to a date. Finally, other shoppers have the option of moving away -- they can go to another aisle for 3 to 5 minutes.

So, yes, sometimes the best option in the grocery store is to wait out those 3 or 4 minutes, especially if you have a kid who is freaked out by the noise and the lights and the people and desperately wants to leave -- even if it means sitting in a (safe, quiet, familiar) car doing nothing -- which would be punishment for a typically developing kid.

I should add that other than the surgery freak out, my child has thrown 1 tantrum in a restaurant or store. It was in the grocery store and we walked out. BUT, I had a kid for whom I knew that would be punitive (he was also old enough that he understood me perfectly each night that week when I said "I'm sorry there's no dessert tonight, I'm afraid I left it in the grocery cart last weekend"), and I had food in the house when I did it. Other parents have different circumstances.

 

[minniebride]

Then WDW definately needs this rule, because some of the worst behavior I have seen is at WDW. Last year in Le Ceiller the table next to us let their little girl roll around on the floor. And that was after she threw her plate of food to the ground, then almost chocked after stuffing a bunch of bread in her mouth. I was truly afraid that someone was going to trip on her there on the ground, as many people entering the restaurant had to step over her, not to mention the wait staff.

I agree, but try posting that on the Attraction Boards on here....my guess is you won't find as many rationale answers as you see on this thread.

 

[MoniqueU]

I saw it done in person in Rome. It was about 8pm and a couple came in with a girl about 3 or 4 and she was already wailing. He told them they ouldn't be seated they asked if they could be seated outside where we were with quite a o few empty tables, he said no. They didn't get it and asked several more times to be seated and the waiter just insistently said no. I told my husband holy cow I wish they did that back in the states. I have had four kids all close together. I do not like to cook and like to dine out. However I never put up with alot of noise or fits from any of my kids while out to eat or anyplace else that I wasn't at on a must need basis. I have gotten plenty of to go boxes or took my kids outside while the rest of our party ate. You just do not sit there in my mind in any restaurant save chuckee cheese and let your kids scream, bang things on a high chair, Peek at people over the booth or run around or anything like that. You just DON"T I see it all the time though parents oblivious to their screeming banshees and letting them make a huge scene while they eat up or go on about their business. It just blows me away. I didn't even take my kids on flights until I was sure they could behave the enire time. There was no way I would take my 2 or 3 year old on a 6 hour flight evven armed with all the goodies and snacks in the world. Granted I have girs 15 months apart and couldn't deal with both at once and then my son but even if I had just one i doubt I would do it. Unless we were out of ,milk, formula or diapers they didn't go shopping with me either. I waited til my husband was off work and went then. Certain mega stores are known for having both the mom and dad and 4 screaming and runing wild kids in tow. I always think to myself did you both really need to come? One of you should of stayed home with these beasts. I LOVE my kids, I think they were and are adorable but I don't have much patience for fits and shrieking so I did any and everything to put a stop to it and avoided places where they might disturb others. We spent alot of time at Disneyland and the beach and other theme parks where that might be expected. I would love to say it was one generation or race or class of people that do this but it isn't. It is any number of people in all walks of life. I also hate people that think their kids are circus actts and talk really loud to their kids in a sing song voice so that any and everyone will notice their kids and what good parents they think they are. Unreal. I talked to my kids like they were human not like it was a Barney Telethon. If anyone disagrees with me check your brats at the door literally.

 

[cherjp]

this is a wonderful idea. I managed to bring my 2 boys up successfully in that they totally behave themselves in public places and now at the tender ages of 16 and 13, if we are in a restaurant that has screaming children they both shake their heads and tut tut!! saying why can't those parents tell their children to behave !!!! out of the mouths of babes !!!!!

 

[mhsjax]

this is a wonderful idea. I managed to bring my 2 boys up successfully in that they totally behave themselves in public places and now at the tender ages of 16 and 13, if we are in a restaurant that has screaming children they both shake their heads and tut tut!! saying why can't those parents tell their children to behave !!!! out of the mouths of babes !!!!!

So true, my DS 9 looks at me and says, "Good thing he doesn't belong to us, you don't put up with that stuff." I get this comment alot at WDW as well as restaurants. Screaming and temper tantrums were NEVER put up with.

 

[Jennasis]

So last night DH and I went to eat at a local pizza place. Not fancy at all, but lots of tables. There was DH and I, then a mom/dad/4year old, then another grandmother and a 7 year old, then anther small family with an 8 year old.

Well the 4 year old and 7 year old (who were strangers to each other) are chasing each other around the restaurant, screaming and laughing. Throwing things at each other. The parents were completely ignoring them, absorbed in their own conversation. When their food came, the boys returned to their respective booths, where they stood on the benches engaged in a screaming match with each other across the room. Parents never said a word. Eventually the 7 year old wandered over to the 4 year old's booth and invited HIMSELF to sit with the family. The mother looked over at the boy's grandma and said "Is it okay with you?"....grandma shrugged and says "sure". So the kid climbs into the booth with these strangers, asks the 4 year old his name and then asks if he can have some of their food!!!

The mom says "Sure" and hands him her fork!!!

DH and I were just dying. We were trying to eat as quickly as possible so we could get out of there.

Then the boys decided they wanted to go back over to the grandmother's table, where grandma was fishing through her purse for money for the check. The 4 year old (NOT HER KID remember?) demands she give them money for the gumball machine! She blinks at him and says "OK".

Gang, it was the weirdest, most obnoxiously snowflakey thing I've seen in a long time.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

We have 5 kids. We take them everywhere. Acting like a wilderbeast is never permitted. Sorry but nobody loves our kids like we do and if we don't want to be around terrible behavior why would anyone else? I don't get parents who let their kids scream and carry on. I would have no problem with a sign like this. So many times we go out and my kids (who are all very young) will see some kids acting up - rolling on the floor, screaming, touching stuff- and they will tell us in the car how fresh those kids were. That's pretty bad when a kid can see the behavior is wrong but an adult is in la la land. That's not to say that we've never had a child act up. Of course we have. We do however remove them from the situation. Nobody else needs to be subjected to fits and tantrums. I don't care if it is Walmart or the California Grill. I don't listen to my own kids screaming so I don't want to listen to yours (a general you).
Oh- and I too cannot stand when parents talk to their kids like Barney! It makes me cringe. I talk to my kids like humans- not like we live in the land of lolipops and sugar cane. Gag!

 

[hentob]

I think all of the statements are obnoxious. It shows to me the owner doesnt have a very good handle on her restaurant. Most people are not problems....and anyone who is should be handled invisibly.

Most signs just say "no smoking" or "this is a non-smoking facility." I've never seen "Smoking will not be tolerated." It's just a jerky way to put it.

Sometimes you have to be "jerky" to jerks

I LOVE that the restaurant is being jerky and I would eat there in a heartbeat.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Sometimes you have to be "jerky" to jerks

I LOVE that the restaurant is being jerky and I would eat there in a heartbeat.

Me too! Of course I am also one of those mean parents who would point the sign out to my kids and tell them "See- if kids act up here they get thrown out!"
The fact that there even has to be a sign tells me that there have been jerky parents there in the past that they have tried to speak to but refused to take snowy out or watch them.

 

[MushyMushy]

Does no one besides me have the ability to tune out annoying noises? I don't really notice screaming kids in public that much, possibly because I don't have any screaming kids.

Or maybe it's because I'm used to tuning out noise because it's so busy where I live. Sounds like screaming children, barking dogs and heavy traffic don't faze me at all.

No! I am so distracted by noises and if it continues, I actually get extremely anxious. Someone in the thread wanted to know how long was too long -- 3 or 5 minutes (not sure of the exact wording). Well, that would be almost torture to me to listen to screaming for that long.

I wish I could tune out noises. It would make my life a whole lot better.

 

[Kennywife]

I can't handle kids shrieking like they're possessed.... I love that phrase, btw. I have Epilepsy and kids screaming can actually bring on seizures. I was in an incident recently at a restaurant where a child just shrieked like it was being stabbed or something. My husband kept shooting the oblivious parents the look. I finally had a seizure due to the noise. I was so embarrassed. When the family finally walked by, my husband, who was furious, said out loud, "Would you like to pay my wife's dx bill for the seizure she just had due to your screaming brat?"

And don't tell me that disabled children cannot be disciplined. I myself am disabled and I too had occasional meltdowns as a child. My parents would have NEVER allowed me to act like that. It would have been the bathroom for me.

Anna

 

[wvjules]

I think that the grocery store and a restaurant are really different things. First of all, a restaurant is a luxury -- noone NEEDS to eat in a restaurant, even if you're completely out of food, and there's no grocery stores open, you can get your food to go. Second of all, a restaurant is a place that's designed for quiet conversation, a large part of the reason why people go to restaurants is to relax and connect with one another, a screaming child makes that impossible. Finally, in a restaurant you have a pretty captive audience. You can't suddenly decide to go sit at a different table, or otherwise move yourself out of the way. I can't really think of any good justifications for letting your child have a tantrum in a restaurant. If they aren't ready to learn to behave you can either not bring them or take them out.

A grocery store, or a pharmacy is another kettle of fish. For one thing sometimes there's a a genuine need to be there. The biggest "tantrum" (or what other people would have called a tantrum) my child ever had in the pharmacy was when his pain meds wore off as we were waiting to pick up a prescription for meds 3 hours after he came out of surgery. He was starving (hadn't eaten since midnight the night before, doctor said not to risk it until we got home), in pain and completely out of his routine, but we needed to be there. Was it annoying to the people around us? Yes, I'm sure it was, but honestly I didn't have a choice and taking him out wouldn't have taught him anything -- it's a pretty natural thing for toddlers to scream when they're starving and in pain.

OK, that was an extreme example, but people also need to go to the grocery store. You can't say "well, Johnny's autistic and it's going to take him a few years to learn how to behave in public, we just won't eat until then". Also, screaming isn't as disruptive to the act of grocery shopping as it is to a date. Finally, other shoppers have the option of moving away -- they can go to another aisle for 3 to 5 minutes.
So, yes, sometimes the best option in the grocery store is to wait out those 3 or 4 minutes, especially if you have a kid who is freaked out by the noise and the lights and the people and desperately wants to leave -- even if it means sitting in a (safe, quiet, familiar) car doing nothing -- which would be punishment for a typically developing kid.

I should add that other than the surgery freak out, my child has thrown 1 tantrum in a restaurant or store. It was in the grocery store and we walked out. BUT, I had a kid for whom I knew that would be punitive (he was also old enough that he understood me perfectly each night that week when I said "I'm sorry there's no dessert tonight, I'm afraid I left it in the grocery cart last weekend"), and I had food in the house when I did it. Other parents have different circumstances.

Umm, no! I do not feel like I should disrupt MY shopping because someone can't control THEIR child. Control your kid or leave. Simple. (The general "you".)