Saying grace...

[chobie]

That may be the case for some, but I really think that is a small minority. The other perspective of that might be that there are people who just really want the freedom to express themselves. Somewhere along the way it seems to have become a fine line between what is acceptable in Americans expressing themselves, and being able to do so without somehow offending someone else.

I don't think its a small minority. I also am not offended --more amused at the show.

 

[chobie]

I like to trick them with promises of beer and playstation 3. Once they are here,they are all mine




I'm just in a very silly mood tonight,dont mind me

Look if you make a good brisket, I'll go along with the prayers!

 

[JennyMominRI]

Look if you make a good brisket, I'll go along with the prayers!

I make really good brisket,and Kugel and potato and Parmesan Latkes.

 

[auntpolly]

I
Why does it freak you out so much that I think its just as rude to insits on making a big producation out of saying grace when you choose to have dinner with people you know are not Christians?

."

I don't do that - but I'm not sure that by hiding who I am and not thanking God for fear of offending someone who obviously offends too easily, I am not being true to myself.

As someone else has said, (Lisa, maybe) I should no more have to hide my faith than someone who is gay should have to hide his sexuality.

This is who I am, I'm not embarrassed by it. Where do I have to draw a line. Maybe my sexuality offends you - maybe my politics - maybe my haircut. I'm caring less and less about what others think about what I do with every post on this thread.

 

[chobie]

I make really good brisket,and Kugel and potato and Parmesan Latkes.

Did you post those recipes on the holiday recipe thread?

 

[JennyMominRI]

Did you post those recipes on the holiday recipe thread?

Yes, I sure did
Edited to add..They are on the WFD thread.

 

[chobie]

I don't do that - but I'm not sure that by hiding who I am and not thanking God for fear of offending someone who obviously offends too easily, I am not being true to myself.

As someone else has said, (Lisa, maybe) I should no more have to hide my faith than someone who is gay should have to hide his sexuality.

This is who I am, I'm not embarrassed by it. Where do I have to draw a line. Maybe my sexuality offends you - maybe my politics - maybe my haircut. I'm caring less and less about what others think about what I do with every post on this thread.

Who said you should be embarrassed? You do what you want in public and I'll think what I think.

I'm not saying not to pray in public, I'm just telling you how it looks to me. I don't understand what is so upsetting about that.

But, hey, if my posts make you more inclined to want to make sure strangers know you are a Christian, then I'm happy to be of service.

 

[auntpolly]

Who said you should be embarrassed? You do what you want in public and I'll think what I think.

I'm not saying not to pray in public, I'm just telling you how it looks to me. I don't understand what is so upsetting about that.

But, hey, if my posts make you more inclined to want to make sure strangers know you are a Christian, then I'm happy to be of service.

First, I hardly ever have strangers over to dinner, so I should get a grip. My non Christian friends are cool, and are as interested in my life as I am in theirs so I don't actually know why I'm getting so worked up by what people on the internet are saying anyway - thanks for the reality check.

So someone is at the next table having a little fun at my expense if they "catch" me praying --you're right. No big deal.

But I do think this has inspired me to be more true to myself though. I don't think there is any reason to worry about offending people with my faith, as I have in the past.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

When one is hosting guests the aim is to make them feel as comfortable as possible. Having a big, hand-holding, head bowing, verbal prayer is bound to make non Christians feel uncomfortable. It wasn't a big enough deal to make me not want to be friends with them, but yes I do think its inhospitable.

The big production I was referring to is when people do it in public places. Yes, they should be able to do it, and yes I think they are trying to show off their piety more than anything else.

The more people say things like "I'm going to prayer in public and I don't care who it offends", or "I'm going say Merry Christmas and I don't care who it offends" really makes it seem like those things are done out of spite and not out love for God. JMO.

Unless you know these public show offs personally--how in the world do you truly know their intentions?

Good grief--most of those whom I see pray in public--do so very discretely and to not cause a scene. They don't make announces in a restaurant--"HEAR YE HEAR YE! WITNESS ME NOW! I AM NOW PRAYING AND WILL BOW MY HEAD".

Nope--most I've seen that have caught my eye simply b/c I am an observant person...are doing soo quietly and not bothering anyone. I notice them as much as I do when I notice someone picking their nose.

It isn't all about you. Most Christians don't care what other people think...they do things for them and their faith.

This offense is all quite silly. Especially if you think it is all being done in some sort of spite to you.

Live and let live.

I do find it funny that you are now dictating what a Christian should NOT do while guests are in their own home but you are in full support of the OP dictating in his own home to his guest.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Just ignore that Shabbat invitation I sent you, OK

If food is involved..I'll take the invite. And I promise to sit quietly while you do whatever you must do for Shabbat .

 

[JennyMominRI]

If food is involved..I'll take the invite. And I promise to sit quietly while you do whatever you must do for Shabbat .

Oh yeah..Major food and wine,oh,and with teenagers whine

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Who said you should be embarrassed? You do what you want in public and I'll think what I think.

I'm not saying not to pray in public, I'm just telling you how it looks to me. I don't understand what is so upsetting about that.

But, hey, if my posts make you more inclined to want to make sure strangers know you are a Christian, then I'm happy to be of service.

What makes you believe that it has anythign to do with wanting others to know they are Christian?

Is that like saying the Yamaka (sorry Jenny--don't know how to spell it) is the Universal symbol for "I'm a Jew". Do you believe Jewish men to be pretentious for wearing such an obvious symbol of their faith/

A step further...

Is it pretentious when you see a Muslim woman covered head to toe? I'm sure if you start a thread on that it would go over real well on the DIS.

Yep--people do things only so that they can be labeled as pretentious for showing off something that according to you should be kept private.

 

[my4kids]

Yep! I agree! Don't be rude in someone else's home. In our house, we'd hold up on saying grace until you returned to the table. That's just the way it works here.

If I were in your home and you said "We're not saying prayers, just dig in ... well, I'd just say a quicky prayer in my head (as nobody would ever know), not do the whole sign of the cross thing, and dig in.

If you came into my house and said "I'm not doing this" then I'd prob. show you the door. Respect the rules of my house as I would respect the rules of your house.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought it was odd that he was describing his incredibly rude behavior at others peoples houses and said "that's just me", yet he has no tolerance for others "just being them" and saying grace in his house. Actually I don't care if its your house, I still thank God for every morsel that goes in my mouth, and I will say it in my head...but I will still put my hands together in prayer and bow my head (because I am certainly not ashamed that I thank God for my food) You don't have to look, just as you don't have to look if I need to wipe my mouth, sneeze, or do anything else that is personal to me. But I'm not gonna thow it out the window for you.

If you were so rude to walk away from MY table while my family was saying Grace, I'd show you the door as well.... I would never make you participate in grace, but you sit still for 1 minute.

 

[Honu]

If you were so rude to walk away from MY table while my family was saying Grace, I'd show you the door as well.... I would never make you participate in grace, but you sit still for 1 minute.

Sorry, but I think expecting me to sit there is controlling and rude. I don't care if you want to say it, I just don't want to be there. Why do I need to be there?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Sorry, but I think expecting me to sit there is controlling and rude. I don't care if you want to say it, I just don't want to be there. Why do I need to be there?

Why come over for dinner at all then?

 

[MrsPete]

I agree with you when you say that Thanksgiving is one of the few times per year when many people tend to "get religious". I do find it hypocritical for people to say grace at these special meals, if they don't do it on a regular basis.

However, I agree with the others who say that it's very rude to walk away from a prayer in someone else's house. It's essentially a slap in the face for the host, who thinks it's important to have a prayer before the meal. If you don't choose to participate in the prayer, you can just sit quietly for a moment. If you know a prayer will be offered, and you simply cannot bring yourself to sit through it quietly, it'd be best not to accept the invitation.

In your own home, of course, you're free to set the tone. I would never say "no prayers, folks" -- it just doesn't seem right. However, you could accomplish the same thing with a great deal more poise: When dinner is about to be served, gather everyone together, give some directions for the meal -- even if it seems a bit obvious (Everyone, please take your seats, we've got a great meal on the table, and be sure to save plenty of room because there's pie waiting in the 'fridge for dessert, now DIG IN!). This seems more like an invitation to begin without a reminder that you're not praying.

 

[Honu]

Why come over for dinner at all then?

I guess this year I can be thankful to have friends and family that accept and support different POVs.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I guess this year I can be thankful to have friends and family that accept and support different POVs.

Why shake your head?

Is accepting of different POVs mean that your hosts suspends all beliefs and customs so as not to risk offending their guests?

 

[Honu]

Why shake your head?

Is accepting of different POVs mean that your hosts suspends all beliefs and customs so as not to risk offending their guests?

I didn't ask anyone to suspend anything. I only want to be excused from it - without being told I'm rude for not wanting to sit there. Why is it important to you that the Atheist sit there?

This has never been an issue at my family/friend gatherings. Even my best friends inlaws, who are devout Catholics, understand I'm not interested and proceed without us.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I didn't ask anyone to suspend anything. I only want to be excused from it - without being told I'm rude for not wanting to sit there. Why is it important to you that the Atheist sit there?

This has never been an issue at my family/friend gatherings. Even my best friends inlaws, who are devout Catholics, understand I'm not interested and proceed without us.

That's different--asking to be excused is one thing..the person whom you quoted and called controlling said that if someone just upped and walked away from her table....

Big difference...one utilizes proper manners and the other just displays rudeness and insults the host. That is what that poster was referring to.

What do you do when they proceed? Hang in the Living room or some other location? (Honest question for a sit down meal..I imagine a larger gathering would be a bit easier to just stand aside).

Another thing that you demonstrate is that you basically know your hosts well and they know you well.

If I wanted to say grace in my home--I wouldn't think twice about it. It is my home and I will say grace. However if someone was up front and forward..I woudlnt make them do something they don't want to do, nor would I not do what my family does (or is learning to do) on a regular basis when we sit down to table.

I don't know any atheists or agnostics so it hasn't been an issue.

I do have Jewish friends..but they don't live in my area so it is essentially a non-issue. I respect their faith and they respect mine. Heck I am even so courteous as to send them a Holiday Card that is generic or related to Hanukkah or whatever. I try to make sure I do not include the nativity. Just simple consideration.