Sabotage de la Diet - *9/10* Amish Grace

[Sassagoula Billy]

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[Sassagoula Billy]

We're back!

Just to note, there are no photos for the first few installments, so kindly move to the dead center of the next post if photos are your thing. They're my thing. Maybe I'd move too. But as it is, there are no photos for the first few installments. So photos or not, here we go. Photos schmotos. Damn, why didn't I take more photos. Bah.

Day 1 - Lunch/Pre-Theater... oh where is my head... Pre-Dinner Snack/Whatever

After checking into the French Quarter (a surprise, I might add, to my SO. I had told him we'd booked Pop Century) which was gorgeous as always, we... oh side note: I haven't been back since '02, so the old-to-many-of-you renovations were met on virgin eyes. Love 'em. But to the food. The food! This is the dining board, after all. No bad dancing. Just eating.

We arrived at 3 pm and since our dinner reservation wasn't until 6 -- and neither one of us had eaten anything of sustenance that morning/noon -- I thought we might meander over to Sassagoula. Isn't that a great word? Sassagoooooooooula. Or you could say it with an Eastern European accent and really "goulash" that last syllable. I studied music. Language excites me. Moving on.

Since my SO had introduced me to my first authentic beignet at New Orlean's famed Cafe du Monde, I thought i'd return the favor by introducing him to the "aw, isn't that cute" Disney version. I.e., sopapilla. Good thing for him that he lives in Texas. He's familiar with the sopapilla and loves them. I didn't enjoy these babies as much as my first two visits pre-New Orleansification, but at least we got the requisite powdered sugar all over us. That's a beignet classic.

Getting them was an ordeal though. My stars! We put in our order to the pimply-faced, squeaky, but kind-hearted teenager for 6 beignets, and went to grab our drinks. SMARTWATER! When did this get to Disney? Brava. Dasani is only merely eency weency, like, minutely better than Florida's toxic faucet concoction. So Smartwater's expensive... at least it's digestible. Sigh. Love it. Anyway, we grabbed our waters and mosied (great word) back over. And waited. And waited. Going on twenty minutes. Maybe we shouldn't eat, spoil our dinner. We find out from the similarly disgruntled kid in front of us that the lady who ordered before we got there was getting 8 sets of 6 beignets. That's FORTY-EIGHT for those of you (like me) who failed math. Do you know how long that takes? And not one word of caution/warning from the pimply-faced, squeaky, but kind-hearted teenager when we placed our order? And what of the poor little kid waiting patiently for his 3 beignets? BAH, I say.

So, against SO's very understanding Southern upbringing (he was raised in Louisiana), I took my Yankee self up to the counter and said "Ten more minutes makes a half hour. What's going on?" Pimply faced, squeaky but well meaning Sassagooooooula employee panicked and said "We're finishing her order." Well, I don't mean to be intimidating, sometimes I am, though... because less than 2 minutes later, we had our beignets.

I try to be virtuous and kind. I fail.

So, beignets in hand. (Kid received his next, btw, as original MAMMOTH ORDERING LADY waited for her special order. I mean, really, that's a bulk order. That's like those crazies going up to the cookie and hot cocoa counters at Mickey's Not So Scary Christmas Party and asking to receive 12 cookies and cocoas for their parties saving four tables at the Noodle Station Veranda-whatchamacallit).

Sugary, tasty, fried. We were off to explore the hotel in a RAINSTORM. Welcome to Florida. Dinner in the next update.

 

[Sassagoula Billy]

Day 1 - Dinner/Jiko

After the great Beignet Massacre of 2010, where poor rounds of dough were fried and sugared, only to be left waiting in boxes... as nearly fifty of their brother and sister beignets piled up around them, cold and listless. To quote James Cameron's most recent not-3D epic, "They were waiting for a resolution that would never come." I mean, who in their right mind would eat a 45-minute old beignet? The lady who ordered them had chutzpah all right. Impractical, but chutzpatic all the same.

So. Oh! Did I mention we had groceries delivered? That's food, so it applies. Yes, more importantly, water. Bottled water for making the morning coffee. Because, as stated earlier, Florida water = I threw in some Apple Bran muffins for the SO, as they are his favorite, and a few essentials like half and half (a precious commodity in a sea of Nestle Non-Dairy Powder packets and pumpy liquid from chemical plants in Taiwan.) It was my first time using Garden Grocer, and their customer service is nightastic. Fantasmic. Expelliarmus. Oh for heaven's sake. It's just good. And the FABULOUS Bell Services guys at the French Quarter are to be commended. Absolute dolls, and kindly kept our refrigerated items cool for us until we arrived. Our delivery arrived a little while before we arrived (because of course, Magical Express had to stop at those gargantuan resorts Saratoga Springs and Old Key West. Both resorts have doublehandedly terminated any urge to ever join the DVC fiesta. It took 45 minutes to get from the road to the darned bus stop. But I embellish. Heck, if we'd had to continue on to Riverside, we may as well have taken and completed a course in Portuguese right there on the bus.)

But back to the food. OH wait. We left a few bucks and a little thank you note for Bell Services on the munchkin fridge before we left for dinner. Do you know they wrote "Thank you" and a drew a heart right below our note? Precious! And totally won over SO. Go Garden Grocer. Go Bell Services.

Somewhere after the Beignets, Groceries, a rainy tour of French Quarter/Riverside, and a stop through the afterthought of a store that is Jackson Square (though I do like the Mardi Gras masks!), we looked at our options. Take a bus to Animal Kingdom and transfer to the lodge or take a taxi to spend a little time at the hotel before dinner. The latter won out. A fabulous lady (all the cast members this trip were fabulous) called for our cab and wondered what in the heck SO was wearing. At check-in, we were given two pins.. Since my birthday landed smack dab in the middle of the trip, mine was pretty straightfoward: Happy Birthday (with a little mouseear picture he drew in). But for SO, the trip was recognizing his recent college graduation. His pin said "Paying off my college loans". Everyone from bus boys to Snow White (yes, Snow White) and nearly every character we met...who wasn't mute...asked what it meant. Had he paid the loans already, or was he going to? It was a cute inscription, and it gave the SO conversation opportunities. Especially with Lady Tremaine and the Stepsisters. This isn't about food. Back to the cab.

Cab arrives, off to the glorious glamorous Animal Kingdom Lod - EW! Jambo House? What kind of messed up pixie dust is this? I know, I can play the "but many of my closest friends are DVC members", but I ask you, was this really necessary? My first time back since the changeover, and ew. Just, ew. And now there's an added bus stop. Isn't AKL far enough away without adding something else to delay them? I don't know about you, but the Deluxes, DVCs and heck, 75% of the Moderates have CRAZY bus stop numbers or share with other resorts. Moderates aside, thanks for the $400 a night, now get in line!

So there are four wondrous Disney smells that keep bringing me back. The first is the water of Pirates of the Caribbean (which can also be experienced over at the Mexico Pavilion). The water I so abhor to imbibe does have it perks in the olfactory. I mean, Disney water ride smell? Check.

Burning of Rome in Spaceship Earth, otherwise known as the Disney Soup smell? Smokey Portobello Soup or Canadian Cheddar Cheese. That's the scent.

The nasty Monorail cushion smell. Sure it isn't a pleasant thing, per se. But it's memorable, nostalgic, and unmistakable.

Then, there is the smell of walking into the Animal Kingdom Lodge. Roasted animal. A strange dichotomy, what with the Disney Conservation Wildlife Express or what have you. But for years, I mistook that smell for heavily seasoned, exotic game. I was wrong! I have corrected this calculation in recent years and discovered that it isn't animal at all. It's butter. The delectable bread and butter served at the beginning of every meal at the Lodge's signature restaurant, Jiko: The Eating Place. I could be mistaken, but the flavors match that smell. A very subdued and clean cumin/cardamom/coriander, "tandoori"-like mixture. The most delicately fragrant mix. Not at all heavy or lingering. The bread, light as a feather. The modern plates and silverware and the Jiko-emblazoned napkins are a gorgeous way to start one's Disney trip.

I'm bad with names, so I can't remember any server's name from any restaurant. But I can remember character, so that'll have to suffice. I told the CM who checked us in that I was sorry we were ridiculously early (which we were, those faux-beignets didn't bring us very far) and she kept walking through and saying "Is your dinner ridiculously wonderful?" At the end of the night she even told us to have a ridculously great night. The SO got a card from the cast of the restaurant to celebrate his graduation. He loved it. And this was his first trip. Everything about Jiko won him over, but the card, with all the South African CMs giving him good wishes and congratulations, was a lovely gesture. Disney just does it right, y'know?

Our server was extremely energetic and wonderful. He was very involved at the outset of the meal, and quietly left us to ourselves once our food service began. The SO had Iced Tea (I know, it's water...but he's not afraid of Florida water), and I had a South African Hard Cider. It was a little too sweet for me (hey, it is Cider), but I ended up enjoying it. I usually have a glass of wine from their extensive collection, but I didn't get around to it. I wish I had, because I would sure love a glass tonight! Goats Do Roam still makes me laugh.

For our appetizers, the SO had the Florida Salad, which he immediately dubbed the best salad he's ever tasted. Peaches, some kind of walnut chunky brittle and :: checks the internet :: Okay, it's called the Florida Seasonal Salad, peaches, walnut brittle, and humboldt fog cheese. I recall it being a goat cheese, I guess that's what it is. That combination was wow. I highly recommend being seasonally peachy when you visit. I wasn't so successful with my choice. The Cucumber, Tomato, and Red Onion salad with cottage cheese and watermelon vinaigrette looked much better on paper. The flavor wasn't complex, it was like eating sashimi in a watermelon water broth. I guess cottage cheese, cucumber, tomato and watermelon vinaigrette should hae been my first clue. A noble effort, beautifully composed on the plate, but just... So, the SO kindly let me sample ample morsels of Peachy Florida.

Boom boom chakalakalaka boom. I was THIS close to getting the chakalaka. I just wanted to say that I had actually eaten Chakalaka. The SO was innundated by my chakalaka joke that got old faster than Ke$ha. But then our server came by and pointed out the Maize-crusted halibut and said that he thought I would like it. I'm easily persuaded. I once went to a Red Lobster with a friend the day it opened in Times Square. Oh yeah. Three hour wait. Why? Because Red Lobster was such an ooh aah thing in Manhattan. Hell in most of New York City. You see the commercials on TV and it's like, "but why can't I ever go?!" Sonic, Red Robin? Who knows from them? Long John Silvers? What's that? So, we waited. Got in. The server said "You should try the Rockzilla." We said sure! Three giant lobster tails rolled around a skewer, dry and flavorless. $40. And we were sitting right next to the window where scores of tourists and New Yorkers alike were queueing up. With our giant lobster tail skewers and Lobsteritas (which she had also recommended). Suffice it to say, future Red Lobster trips around the country have not involved either. For the record, Lobsteritas don't contain lobster. Can you imagine? It's more ew than the bus stops at Sasparilla Springs.

Back to Jiko. I get the Maize-Crusted Halibut with Jiko's tried and true pink butter sauce. I've had it with all sorts of fish before, monkfish being my favorite. This was flaky and deliciosa. I recommended the Short Ribs for the SO as he is more of a steak and taters guy. He proved me wrong this trip, he seems to be branching out a bit... I love introducing different flavors and cuisines. I definitely saw Disney through new eyes on this trip. Anyway, he kept taking bites of the Short Ribs and pausing to imitate Peter Boyle from Young Frankenstein. Closed eyes, savoring. Golly gee, this place was a winner. Phew! I always get nervous when I book restaurants by myself, because I hope they'll work out! Oh, and the potato gratin stack thingy was majorly thumbs uppy.

Jiko: The Eating Place and California Grill happen to be my two favorite resort restaurants. But what do they both have in common? Subpar desserts. I have never enjoyed any of my desserts from either place, which is a puzzlement. Desserts at the latter are way too sweet and syrupy with too many components. If it were Top Chef, Colicchio would tell 'em there were too many notes. And Jiko tries too hard. So, we both passed on dessert. Nothing looked appetizing to the SO. No cheese plate either, though I have had the Jiko cheese plate and it is divine. Manchego, how could you go wrong?

Oh! And can I just say that every time we told a CM that we were not on the dining plan, they smiled and "phew"ed. Makes me question the impact it has on them.

We explored the hotel a bit more, sat with our feet up at Jogun's fire pit, and looked at the giant orange blue I-don't-know-what-it-is sculpture across from it in the lobby. We've dubbed it the Malawi Maiden. Madonna walks into it to absorb the souls of African children on her visits to the lodge. We're sick.

Considering the night was still young, we decided to hop on over to Downtown Disney. Via bus. Sangali House, what's it called? Nahtazu House? Whatever that other place is, we had to stop there first. Bah. I mentioned that before, but a direct bus is a precious Disney commodity. After browsing a few shops -- I'd go into detail, but this is a dining review -- we joined the crowd of lemmings at Ghiardelli's. There are what, six registers? Everyone crowds into one space, so I grabbed SO's hand and zoomed past an understandably irate family who were waiting at the first register. Well, dang, the dude at the second register kept calling them, and they wouldn't listen.

I hope they weren't ordering beignets.

Karma is a beach.

I ordered a simple hot fudge sundae, the SO ordered a chocolate milkshake. I loved my sundae, but I desired that milkshake. I wish I had ordered it instead of my sundae. I recommend the shakes here folks. We had to sit outside because all of the other tables were crowded. The rain had subsided, and it was drippingly humid, but the ice cream made for a comfortable outdoor respite.

***
My apologies to the DVC Saratoga and Animal Kingdom Lodge members. I got especially cranky that day... mea culpa.

 

[Sassagoula Billy]

Day 2 - LTT and Pecos Bill's

Before moving on to the second day of our gustatory adventures at the Walt Disney Resort, I should remind you that I am on perpetual sugar cookie lookout. Every step of the way, I'm in a crows nest of my own design... searching, seeking, hoping to spot a Disney sugar cookie. Now these cookies have been supplemented over the years. At one time, at least in the last ten years, they came in one form, and one form alone. Flat, round and chewy. They're still chewy, but now they come with two-tone mickey sprinkles or dusted with large sugar crystals. The snickerdoodle variation has also been added to the mix. Then, there arrived those giant globs of goodness which I have dubbed the Cookie Dough Cookies. Redundant, but an apt description. You know to what I refer; those domed, chewy on the outside, raw on the inside cookie creations?

Before leaving Downtown Disney the night of Day 1, I spotted my first sugar Cookie Dough Cookies sitting, gorgeously, in the bakery/fudge counter cases at Goofy's Kitchen or whatever. Should I get one now? Not after that hot fudge sundae from Ghiardelli's. And bringing it home wouldn't be fresh. Oh but there are the packaged ones hanging in the candy section. White chocolate raspberry? Blecch. No sugar cookies here. Okay, well, I'll just have to get them later.

DAY 2 - For real, this time, I swear on the Wicked Queen's whiskers.

At the Magic Kingdom, I had originally planned to do lunch at Pecos Bill's (I was trying to hold back on doing table service establishments all day long for both the wallet and the appetite. Sabotaging a diet is one thing, but forcing a large meal is another), and dinner at, oh where was it...::checks itinerary:: Artist Point. It would have been lovely to take the boat over to the other Lodge on property and have some of that there portobello soup and cedar plank salmon. But alas, this was not to be. Once we gauged the crowds that morning - even having been there at rope drop - we decided to shelf Artist Point and spend more time in the park. So what now. We switched Pecos Bill's for dinner and snagged a 1:00 lunch reservation for Liberty Tree Tavern.

I didn't really have any strong desire to go to Liberty Tree Tavern, but as Kona Cafe didn't appeal to the SO (imagine that, he gets scared of anything Asian despite my reassurance that the restaurant was fusion southeast asian american), and I'd read nothing but blargh about The Wave (it doesn't look too appealing to me, sadly), we went with Liberty Tree. Maybe Tony's has resurrected itself since my last dreadful visit. The Plaza was great for me as a kid, but doesn't hold the same charm it once did. And as for Crystal Palace? I was saving that for my birthday breakfast a few days from then.

Our server was a young 20something girl with an almost Wednesday Addams approach to her work. Deadpanned, with a twinkle in her eye. I chalked it up to the SO as being her proximity to the Haunted Mansion. We too are rather strange and unusual, so she complemented us perfectly. She didn't even bat an eyelid when she brought out our Tinkerbell drinks. Yep, we both sprang for the souvenir cups with the little clip-on light-up Tinkerbells. We proceeded to wear these on the collars of our shirts each night of the trip, and ended up fielding I don't know, 40 or 50 people total asking us where we got them. If Disney sold these clip-on tinkerbells before Illuminations, the Main Street Electrical Parade or Fantasmic, they'd make a killing.

"Here are your tinkerbells", Wednesday Addams of the Liberty Tree Tavern, off of Haunted Mansion Way said as she lowered them to the table.

"Do you still have those delicious rolls and honeybutter?", I asked.

"I have to warm them first."

"That would be great."

I can't quite explain how cool she was, and yet, how interstellar. She was from the Planet Zorb. Never did anything wrong, was very helpful. In fact, when I ordered a salad for an appetizer and the Crab Cakes for my entree she said, "I like salad a lot. But your entree comes with salad. Lettuce can be kinda boring." Yes it can. And she was right! I ended up getting the Beef Stew for an appetizer (which was delicious, and perfect for the rainy weather outside).

So the food. The SO got the Tri-Wizard Sandwich and I don't remember what came on it. With potato chips, or fries, or something. He loved it. And I had the Crab Cakes which looked like giant biscuits. I didn't put much stock in expecting greatness. But they were one of my favorite dishes of the ENTIRE TRIP. I don't remember what kind of vinaigrette they used on the accompanying greens, but it reminded me of the champagne vinaigrette they used to serve at Cinderella's Royal Table back before the Princess Invasion. If it even was champagne. Not in a "dry" park. But it is the best dressing ever. So, crab cakes at Liberty Tree? Winner. So was the Tri-Corner Sandwich, because the SO loved it. I don't know what was in it, but it must be good.

Oh, and the rolls and honey butter. More yays! A blast from the past that they only serve at dinner now, I guess. But relive the days of yore and request a few. That butter is just the bee's knees. Literally. First the butter at Jiko, and now at Liberty Tree Tavern. What is it with Disney and butter and soups? Oh, I know. It's salt. Must be the salt. No low-sodium Mary Poppins here.

I love the attire at the Liberty Tree Tavern, but found it rather noticeable that the manager - who was very visible and engaged with guests at check-in - didn't dress anywhere near the era of Colonial America. A checkered shirt tucked into a pair of slacks doesn't cut it babe. Unless it's the lumberjack lady liberty lounge and I missed the memo.

Moving on... since the night's Artist Point events had been cancelled, we strolled on into Pecos Bill's. I remember it being extremely late. We didn't want to eat before lining up for the Main Street Electrical Parade (Tinkerbell's float wasn't working, so the poor thing just overracted her way down Main Street, trying with all her might to electrify her float bulbs out of unconsciousness. I waved to her and blew her a kiss. She was my favorite performance of the night), and then the not-Fantasmic fireworks happened, followed by the requisite exodus. Since there would be another showing of the parade and the park was open until 3 am, we delayed dinner even further by going on a few more attractions. So, late late dinner that it was, we strolled into Pecos Bill's and got our cheese sauce on.

We both ordered the Angus Burger special, though mine was nearly $2 more expensive and we couldn't figure out why. We both had bacon and an onion ring on our burger, so I must have been duped. Or there was some other distinction. In any event, we both got fries and took full advantage of the worst-kept secret in Disney food history: the fixin's bar! I love at Pecos Bill's that you get the taco fixin's in addition to the burger stuff. "Caution Hot Cheese". Three beautiful words. We both highly enjoyed our burgers, and I let the SO know that of all the burger places in Disney, you just can't beat Pecos Bill's. Soon he'll visit some of the others, but even my burger at Le Cellier a few years ago wasn't as fun as the ones here. Must be the cheese sauce.

Sorry they took away those heavy, highbacked chairs. They used to act as soundproofing against shouting, temper tantrums and other noise within those echoed halls. Alas, now we have these footstools acting like chairs. No back support, and noise noise noise from all around. We even had to move. And like every restaurant we visited, the topic of loud conversation surrounding us had to do with the Disney Dining Plan. What counted as a snack, what counted as a dessert, did you ask for a receipt to show how we were stiffed, and the list goes on. God I miss when the most that happened at a counter service restaurant was a feud over what the next ride would be

 

[Sassagoula Billy]

Day 3 - Lunch, Le Cellier

We had a breakfast of Apple Bran Muffins back in our room at the splendiferously charming French Quarter, and then headed off to MGM. That's right, MGM. I called it that since I was a wee lad and ain't nothing gonna change. Besides, it gives me pause to remember the pre-Big *** Hat days.

After our morning rush of Toy Story Mania and assorted pleasantries, we made haste to meet our lunch reservation over at Epcot. I had planned on walking, but we wouldn't have made it in time. As for that boat? A) You can walk faster, and B) There's what, 4 stops? LOL.

Le Cellier. Like everything on the trip, it would be a first for the SO. Do y'all (he's from Texas so I'm an honorary y'aller) remember when this place was a walk-in? I do. Everyone always booked up San Angel Inn, Rose and Crown, Alfredo di Roma and Coral Reef, but Le Cellier was always this cozy and cool hidden gem. Remember Mo? He was my server nearly every visit, and he might still work there, but I haven't seen him in years. Sometime in the mid-00's during the internet and ADR explosion, Le Cellier became this sensation. Then there was the predictable backlash, and eventual backlash to the backlash. Now, this quiet little restaurant that never expected to be such a phenomenon is held up to such unfathomable expectation, it's no wonder people are so divided.

Remember when people weren't divided? It was just... another place to eat? Albeit, one with the most heavenly soup on Earth?

That's how I treat it, and that's how it was this time. Our server - again, her name escapes me - was bubbly and lovely. I opted for the prix fixe menu, seeing as none of the other entrees caught my eye.

"DOES THE PRIX FIXE COME WITH A BOWL OR A CUP?"

To our right was the most obnoxious thing EVER to happen in America. The loudest lady ever. You know Le Cellier's table proximity. You either get lucky... with quiet neighbors. Or charming neighbors (like those to our left on this particular visit). Or you get stuck with the group from hell (those to our right). I felt sorry for the two ladies accompanying someone I can only say was a mix between Ethel Merman and Ursula. With two pin lanyards and a cell phone that managed to ring despite... okay, moving on. Anyway, we could barely hear one another, and we formed somewhat of a camaraderie with our neighbors to our left. They shared our death sentence.
Why I didn't ask to be moved is beyond me. I should have. Because it managed to ruin an otherwise glorious-as-usual lunch.

"WELL THEN I'LL GET THE PRIX FIXE. IF IT HAD COME WITH A CUP I WOULDN'T HAVE. THAT'S HOW THEY GET YOU!"



Our breadsticks arrived, with the multigrain and pretzel being my lifelong favs. The SO preferred the sourdough so it all worked out. I ordered the Canadian Cheddar Cheese Soup - what else? - and the Sirloin Tips Salad thingy. The SO got a Croque Madame that wasn't a Croque Madame. It had salmon in it. I told him I had never seen it before on the menu, and couldn't vouch for it. He also ordered the soup. The soup was velvety, thick and smoky as ever. With the pretzel bread, I was almost too stuffed for my entree. As was the SO, who did an "mmm" sound after every taste. He looked up at one point and said "now I understand". I should remember next time to just do the soup, breadsticks and a dessert. The Steak Salad/whatever was lovely, and SO ended up liking his not-Croque Madame. It wasn't anything extraordinary, but a perfectly serviceable lunch. For dessert we both ordered the Maple Creme Brulees. I've had creme brulees the world over, and this one is my second favorite (right after the one served at Les Halles in NYC). I don't find any of the flavors overwhelming. The SO however thought it tasted like a McGriddle, too sweet and sticky. Oh well.

"THIS ISN'T HOW YOU MADE THEM BEFORE."

I didn't order my usual post-meal glass of Ice Wine because I wanted to get the heck out of dodge. Whomever she was, I feel for her travel companions. I think I may even have caught a glimpse of longing out of the corner of my eye. A cry for help. "Save us, for our friend knows not how she squawks."

Back out into the sunlight.

 

[Sassagoula Billy]

Day 3 - Snack: La Cava de Tequila

I drink, but am not a big drinker. The most I ever imbided was during my studies abroad in France where it was criminal NOT to drink. Since then, I've have the occasional glass of wine with dinner or a Corona here and there. The SO doesn't like alcohol at all. With that in mind, why did we head to La Cava de Tequila for pre-dinner drinks?

First of all, it's a new World Showcase locale (always reason to celebrate) that isn't classified as a sit-down restaurant, counter service restaurant or even as the typical Disney bar. It's this inbetween mystery that I was unable to figure out online. No ADRs? Never really a line for tables? Even at peak visiting times?

Second, it's in my favorite pavilion (who doesn't love eternal dusk?) And anything has to be better than those lousy drinks they pass up as margaritas outside the pyramid.

Third? AVOCADO MARGARITAS (Aguacate). How spectacularly unexpected is that? That's all I needed to know. Now, there's a Mexican restaurant I visit quite frequently in New York called Cafe Frida. Ironically, I've also been to a restaurant in Vegas called Diego. So, it's kind of a continental Mexican love affair. I spent the majority of my teenage years obsessed to no end with Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera, so later when the Salma Hayek movie came out, it was like, overload. Anyway, despite my love for Mexico at Epcot, Frida has never appeared ANYWHERE. Sure, there's that one place on El Rio del Donald where I always point out the one doll who looks closest to her. But otherwise, nowhere. Foreshadowing people, foreshadowing.

We walk into Mexico and seek out the tequila cave. I get in line for drinks and send the SO in to snag a table. I didn't really take a peek inside, so I was unaware of whether the place was crowded. Right when I got to the bar, a girl who seemed to have had one too many said "you've got to try the avocado". I told her that's what I was there for, and the bartender slid over TWO sample shots. Um, how fabulous is that? Heaven. I'd never had anything like it before. I'm not much of a frozen-drink fan, but I can't imagine how this would work any other way. It'd just be guacamole sludge. But this was perfect. So, I placed my drink order (a water for the SO), and an order of chips and salsa (in the most stylish little cone-shaped holder thingamajig, with side compartments for the salsa). I turned around to see Frida's face painted on a chair facing the wall. The place was packed, save for one or two tables at the rear, and a cushioned sitting area near the center of the room. Was this fate? It must have been, because the SO didn't even notice when he sat down.

You can only imagine. Here I am, in my Frida Kahlo backed chair, feeling a million miles away from Orlando. The drink was perfect (it was served with an red-tinged salt rim made of hibiscus), the crowd was cool, the bartenders and waitstaff were giving free samples and smiles out to everyone. That really makes all the difference, you know? And it felt like a Cava de Tequila. Almost like a New York bar, but with Disney magic. Why hasn't this happened sooner? Four stars, people. Four stars. And the SO (that's his nickname) enjoyed his nasty Florida water. Oh, and the chips were great, too. If this hadn't been such a theme-park commando trip, I would have loved to spend an hour or more there just relaxing. Perfect for a June afternoon. I wish I could go there now.

Anyway, I felt a little guilty since the SO doesn't drink, but he noted what a great change of pace La Cava is, and said he also forgot where he was for a bit. Not that Disney World is a place you want to escape from, but the only thing I could compare it to would be portions of the Animal Kingdom trails, Tom Sawyer Island, etc. where you are transported entirely to another place.

---

I'd had many a rice cream in my time, it may be my favorite dessert in the whole wide world. Sugar cookies are different, those are prerequisites. But rice cream? That's a special "singing choir ahhh" experience. But I'd never had dinner at Kringla Bakeri og Cafe, and I was intent on trying some of the other delicacies offered.

I ended up ordered the Potato, Goat Cheese and Vegetable Tort (because how bad could THAT be? ) and the School Bread. I have read about the school bread on the internets for over a decade, and it was high time I tried the darned thing myself. The SO decided on the Norwegian Club sandwich and fruit.

Oh, dear sweet Norway. Norway who has given us Maelstrom, Rice Cream, Rose Nylund and the Veiled Maiden. The glorious dearly departed pre-princess Akershus. And all the happy gorgeous scandinavians who have served us over the years.

Oh Norway.



I award Kringla Bakeri og Cafe with



of complementary SWILL.

The Tort was like a freeze-dried, freezerburned, defrosted, reconstituted lump of hockey puck. But let me tell you how I really feel. EWWWWWWWW. Aside from the pizza I was forced into eating later in the trip, this has to be the single-worst thing I've ever eaten at Disney. I didn't taste potato, goat cheese or vegetables. I tasted week-old sourdough starter rescued from the compost heap.

The school bread didn't fare much better. I didn't realize it was a donut. I'm not much a creme-filled donut fan. Okay, I'm not a fan at all. This was a donut. It wasn't bread. But at least I tried it.

The SO's sandwich was satisfactory. Though in the days that followed, I learned that he hated it. Too dry, and it felt like it'd been sitting in a cooler all day. Which it had.

I've had better food at Ikea, people. Granted, that's Sweden, but hey, I'm part-Danish, so it's all in the family. But don't tell that to the Danes.

 

[Sassagoula Billy]

Day 4: Lunch, Tusker House

For starters, look! I found a photo!

Okay, so I didn't take it. I'm kicking myself repeatedly over this oversight. I assumed the SO would be put out by my constant mealtime photography, but learned after the fact that he adores food porn; voyeur or solicitor.

Anyway, I wrote this extended review of Day 4's lunch excursion and when I clicked post, I lost the whole thing. Never was I prouder of a Disney review. It had everything: laughter, tears, panoramic vistas. All lost, because my login evaporated and I stupidly pressed "back". So now, I go quietly into this good night in the hopes of resurrecting a smidgen of what came before.

But first, Cher

Cleansed and shakraed, or Deepak Chopraed... or Shakiraed. I move on.

Animal Kingdom turned out to be the most successful day of our trip. Weatherwise, the morning and early afternoon was the coolest of the week, and the rain didn't start misting in until we were on our way towards the exit. Fortune smiled on us with the attractions, as we were able to doubledip on Kali and Dinosaur, twice in a row. The family we rode with on the former was an absolute hoot, especially the papa... as he was the only one after TWO tours to escape with nary a drop of water. If you guys is here on the Dis, I think you're rock stars.

I hadn't been within the vicinity of Tusker House - or even Kusifiri Bakery for that matter - since the conversion to a buffet. I recall dreading the changeover and blamed it as yet another victim of the Disney Dining Plan Godzilla. Quick! Put some hotplates out and call it a table service credit. Oh how I would miss that hummus sandwich. Even the grapes were awesome.

Check-in for our 1 pm lunch at the *new* Tusker House took place at the rear of the building, facing the river. The area is nicely shaded and offers seating, though our wait was 5 minutes. We were led into the still-impeccably themed (as is all of AK), open and airy Tusker House and into one of the immense dining areas. We passed the former condiments and window-service queues, now inhabited by an array of buffet "pods". Here's hoping.

Our server took our drink order (two iced teas), described the offerings of the day, and encouraged us to go ahead and dig in. I looked around the dining room. It was fairly sparse, quiet, calm. I wonder. We put down our mouseears and headed for the food.

Oh.

My.

Goofy.

Am I still alive?

Or is this paradise?



Sit down Jiko, move aside California Grill. Stand back Boma. Victoria and Albert's, stay right there because goodness knows that's like my #1 place I want to eat before I die and despite the fact that it is within the realm of possibility I still feel there should be a huge celebration: i.e. marriage/anniversary/job promotion/birth before I can justify going there. But everyone else. Stand back.

Where to begin. First off, the SO had 3 plates, I had 9. Yes, 9. I've never in my life been so encouraged to sample EVERYTHING, which I did. Halfway through the 6th plate, he asked "should we cancel the Brown Derby?" Yeah, better go ahead. It needs to be sacrificed for the religious experience at hand. Praise Tusker House, praise the Dining Plan if it is so responsible for this rebirth. And the place was practically empty, so 'twas an oasis.

The samosas and curry chicken were out of this world. The latter didn't even need any extra spice, it was mild and sweet and tendery and perfect. The Seafood stew. Heaven. Couscous salad? Scrumptious. Pork loin with I-can't-remember-the-sauce and polenta (I think it was polenta...). Tomato and cucumber salad. Hummus! Did I mention the samosas? Oh, and the plaintains. And the best bread pudding I've ever had in the world? It's all here, and it's all fresh and it's a theme park. A THEME PARK. Who would have thunkit?

And the strange thing is, after we'd finished, I didn't feel the usual overstuffed feeling I normally experience after a buffet. Even at Boma. We could have gone to the Brown Derby later - and should have, considering the of the moment alternative... BAH - but alas, we did not.

Tusker House has all the flavors of Boma, but fresher, and without the crowds. And noise. And drums. Though I do love it, and it is one of my babies, if I had to choose between my children - and what a Sophie's Choice moment - I'd pick Tusker.

Dinner coming in the next installment!

 

[Sassagoula Billy]

Day 4 - Dinner, Toy Story Pizza Planet

Oh woebetide those of you who agree to the kind of evening that followed such culinary bliss. If you have a dinner reservation at the Brown Derby, for heaven's sake, KEEP IT. There's no law against drinks, appetizers and grapefruit cake now is there? No. I was stuffed from lunch, sure, but it could have worked. The SO was royally full, but I could have blindfolded him or ordered a glass of icecubes. But he was hungry. And he didn't eat as much as I did, because he was saving room for dinner. I didn't. Tusker was my slave and my reason for living through 9 plates of food. And at the time, we decided to forego the Brown Derby.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

MGM is NOT the place for counter service. You know that, I know that, the cast members know that. Oh, the Writer's Stop is one of the greatest little corners of the World, and Starring Rolls serves up it's share of treats. But by and large, the four-square meal places are the pits. They're the pits of the pits.

I'd been to Backlot Express and Studio Catering Co. Of the two, the latter was marginally better. But that's like preferring The Biggest Loser over Losing it with Jillian. They're both in the same zipcode. And for the record, I like Jillian. I just wish she'd stop harping on everyone else's secrets and deal with her own.

But I digress. So, the SO looked at the menus for both and said "eh.". He kept veering toward Pizza Planet. "I'm in the mood for pizza.". That's funny, so was I. So Pizza Planet should have been the LAST destination on God's green earth. I even tried the little outdoor area on Sunset Boulevard. No, his mind was made up. And he doesn't even like Toy Story. So I don't know what it was. Oh yeah, he also didn't want to eat outside.

Pizza Planet was so loud and packed that we ate outside. Grrrr. We both ordered pepperoni pizzas with side salads and bottles of water. And cookies. Oh yeah, he was really full.

It's not delivery, it's DiCrapno. As I looked over at him, he seemed to be stifling laughter. We had even argued a bit on our way over. A combination of heat, and lines, and 6 am mornings. It gets to you. Am I right, people? But this "meal" with it's "side salads" (shredded lettuce from Subway, I'd hate to see what the Caprese looked like) so soggy, so wounded. The humidity outside. Miss Piggy slowly rotating in the fountain as we ate her cousins. Unless pepperoni is a sausge that comes from somewhere else. Which it probably does. I'm not Italian. But I'm sure an Italian wouldn't eat what we ate.

The kids loved it! Two thumbs up.

 

[Sassagoula Billy]

Day 5 - Breakfast, The Crystal Palace

Stop the presses, I've got photos. Maybe not for a dining review, but at least you'll be able to put some faces to the proceedings.

The first is a bonafide picture of our arrival to the Crystal Palace for our morning breakfast with Pooh and Friends. A birthday breakfast, I might add, for yours truly.

See? That's where we sat. Honest. I know I know, no one's in that picture. But look how early. When we made it into the park, we were the first to check in at the PS counter. ADR. I'm still trying to sort that out. I was wearing my birthday button, and everyone from cast members to guests were saying happy birthday! Since the birthday pin is personalized, they were even saying it by name. How fabulous is that? I wish everyday was my birthday at Disney. Okay, so we didn't sit by the window, I guess when you're the first in you still don't get the window. Or maybe it's a party of two thing. Damn, if only Neve Campbell had come along.

But when we got to our table - there was mickey confetti! I'd never been to the parks on anyone's birthday, so this was all such a treat. Of course we didn't take any photos of that. And the next photo isn't of food, proper, but considering Piglet made his exit into the kitchen just before a plateful of bacon arrived... one has to wonder.

The eggs at the Crystal Palace have crack in them. I'm convinced. I've never tried crack, but I know it's addictive, and pretty darned hard to quit. Eggs is whack. Powdered goodness. If they're real, more power to them. But wow. Sadly, the Breakfast Lasagna did not make an appearance that morning. I guess Tigger ate it or something. In it's stead was a fritatta of some sort. It isn't worth mentioning. But the lack of a carby-breakfast mishmash just left more room for individual carby goodness. The deep-fried french toast fritter-type things? One of the best foods on property. Bar none. And who needs butter or syrup? I ate these things like the donuts that they are. The raspberry pound cake/danish thingamajig? Also amazing. And everyone seemed to swarm around the main lines and forgot all about the glorious breads on that center island. The mickey waffles always seem like an afterthought in line, but delicious on the plate. I love them more than I remember from my previous trips. I don't know why this is. Get them, they're awesome.

The only things that stuck out to me on this trip as being sorely off, were the croissants. I don't know what to classify the stand-ins they're passing off as croissants now, but they ain't croissants. They're underbaked, cold rounds of unflaky flaky pastry. The chocolate doesn't fare any better. What happened to the delicious crescents they used to serve? Imma blame it on the Disney Dining Plan. I blame everything on that. Mosquito bites, a missed bus connection, the long line at the Swiss Family Treehouse, the Bay Lake Tower. I blame it all on the Disney Dining Plan. And Fastpass. I'm ornery before my time. Back to the food.

The watermelon and melon and all kinds of melon is all kinds of excellent here. And the orange juice - keep it comin'. For an All-American breakfast, there really is no better option than The Crystal Palace. Worldwide. It's my favorite place to have breakfast. The biscuits are better than Popeyes, which in my opinion has the best biscuits anywhere. My Louisiana SO agrees. And the characters are Winnie the Pooh for heaven's sake. Unobstrusive, cuddly, and non-confrontational. You don't get a princess having a bad day. Though I wouldn't mind Lady Tremaine and her daughters. That would be the BEST character breakfast. We saw them walking through Fantasyland later that day, and the SO went chutes and ladders crazy to get a photo of them. So I jumped in front (they were walking rather briskly) and shouted "Paparazzi! I need one photo." And we got it:

But back to the food. Ummm, lemme see. OH! Our server brought out a cupcake for me (which went untouched sadly, after that center island of pastry goodness) and a card from the Hundred Acre Wood gang! Aside from the wand I got in Hogsmeade, this card is the ooh-ahh event according to my friends. Talk about feeling like a kid again.

I didn't drink the coffee.

I know, I know... this is the food forum, but there were some pictures from our FIRST morning at the MK that I felt like sharing.

The SO attempting to pull the sword from the stone:

And me:

SO was celebrating his college graduation, btw.

We stopped over to Tom Sawyer Island for some target practice:

And, my prayer that it wouldn't rain on my parade:

It appears that we only wear blue and grey polos. Stick with what you know I guess.

Snacktime and Dinner coming up in the next installment!

 

[Sassagoula Billy]

Day 5 - Snack, Kringla Bakeri og Cafe, and The Holy Mother

"What?", you may ask. After that disastrous dinner (not along the lines of Toy Story Pizza Planet, but then, what is?), I chose to oblige the Norwegians with another visit?

Two words: Rice Cream.

Yeah, I had opted for the School Bread the first time, so a return visit was necessary - nay - ABSOLUTE. Like everything this trip, it was all new to the SO. First time Disney, so he must experience the Rice Cream. He's not a sweets person, and my description of it in the days prior wasn't encouraging. I kept assuring him that it was a tub of melted butter and cream with strawberry topping. "I think there's rice and sugar involved, but who can tell?" He didn't believe me. Still, back to Epcot we go.

At the counter, he shrugged his shoulders and got some chocolate something that I don't remember. I ordered my Rice Cream, and as the CM passed it over to me, I think I whispered sweet nothings to it. "Don't worry baby, daddy's home." The CM raised an eyebrow. We made our way to the delightful outdoor seating area and dug in. I begged and pleaded with the SO to try a spoonful. "Eh." He picked at his chocolate mousse or whatever, and after much diplomacy, reluctantly agreed to a sample.

SO's favorite scene in Disney history is Snow White's off-screen collapse. He isn't a violent person by any means, but he is such a fan of the direction and ingenuity of how it all plays out. The camera observes the Queen's reaction, not Snow White's reaction to the poisoned apple. Brilliant. I have a point here somewhere. He loves the dialogue, too. It's morbid, but it's close to his favorite Disney dialogue of all time. Anyway, he takes a spoonful of the rice cream and appears to respond positively to it. So I begin reciting: "His breath grows still... his heart..", etc. A big smile, wider than Julia Robert's (and her's extends beyond the boundaries of her head), extends across the SO's face as I exclaim "Now I'll be fairest in the land."

The Rice Cream is a winner and he regrets that he didn't order his own. Sucks for him.

Epcot is the worst place to be in a rainstorm. Forget the Animal Kingdom. At least there, people run for the exit. If you're wandering around World Showcase in a heavy downpour that leaves slaughtered umbrellas and tattered ponchos in it's wake, those large gaps between pavilions (Future World isn't much of an improvement) become maranthonic. New word, unless it exists. And don't bother crowding beneath ledges, or joining the throngs in stores. You won't be able to move. Because people think the storm is a standard Florida afternoon rainshower. This was a tropical storm. People didn't know that. I didn't know that. We got up after our afternoon snacks and sprinted towards Maelstrom. We'd secured FPs earlier and assumed the rain would be over by the time we exited the movie.

We exited.

This was our view for the next hour:

Sitting indian-style on the floor of the men's room along with two other rain refugees, we listened to Viking sea chanties (chantys?) and watched the torrential torrents. Odd vantage point, odd location. But it sure beat being neck in neck inside the $350-a-sweater Puffin's Roost. Please join me in saying that you also check the prices of the sweaters on every visit. It's tradition. Right up there with dole whips. But yes, everyone was standing around like cattle in those new, clear "Disney Parks" ponchos. GOD, look to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and ask what it's biggest strength is. Branding. BRANDING. What became of individuality? But I digress. The seating area at Kringla Bakeri og Cafe was no different. Crowded. The distance to Mexico or Germany was laughable. No, we were prisoners. Slaves. Thunderstorm victims of the Norway Bathrooms. Honorary St. Olafians.

This is such a trip report masquerading as a dining report. I may as well copy and paste this into the other forum. Version 2.0 must be on the horizon.

After the rain had fallen (to kinda quote Sting), we wandered over to Germany where we were surprised to find a bottle of Italian wine.

Yes yes, it's Liebfraumilch, the German sweet wine of choice back in 1950s America. But "Madonna"? Oh, but of course. She's toured Germany. No, not A Madonna, mother of our lord. I mean THE Madonna. As in Queen Mother of Pop.

But Jesus may have had other plans, because as the skies cleared...look what we saw above Spaceship Earth:

Now we knew she was trying to contact us. Maybe we should have bought that wine after all. Goodness knows she was looking for her boyfriend.

Dinner at the California Grill coming soon!

 

[jakenjess]

Y'all ready for this?

Yes!!

 

[mandibc11]

Alright I'm here - I'm ready. My question for you is, where you able to change your username, or did you have to create an entire new account???

 

[Sassagoula Billy]

Yes!!

Alright I'm here - I'm ready. My question for you is, where you able to change your username, or did you have to create an entire new account???

Thanks!

Yeah, I had to create a new account. I wasn't feelin' "NormanMaine". Thought the A Star is Born reference would grow old pretty quickly. So, Sassagoula it is. I just love that word.

 

[PrincessCaitlin]

Wow I don't know if I have ever been as entertained by a TR as I have been reading yours!

I am usually not a fan of pictureless TRs but the way you write is so descriptive that there is no need for pictures!

I can't wait to hear more about your adventures!

 

[Sassagoula Billy]

Wow I don't know if I have ever been as entertained by a TR as I have been reading yours!

I am usually not a fan of pictureless TRs but the way you write is so descriptive that there is no need for pictures!

I can't wait to hear more about your adventures!

Aw thanks Princess Caitlin! I'm going to try and include some more photos as I go along now, but for the time being, yeah... words can paint 1,000 pictures.

But pictures rock.

 

[Sassagoula Billy]

Day 5: Continued

After the easy, breezy, beautiful Jesus-emblazoned Epcot sky, the SO and I climbed the calorie-burning pathway to the Monorail station. Again, I reevaluated my desire to stay at one of the Magic Kingdom Resorts. Sure, it's a dream of mine. Heck, it's a grand dream of mine to stay at the Grand Floridian. Anyone wanna sponsor me? But if you want to take advantage of the monorail, it can take longer than the F-train to Brooklyn. 5 minute stops at each resort, the initial wait for the train itself, the crowds, the standing, etc. The bus alternative to MGM and AK doesn't fare any better with multiple resort stops along the way. And the epic climb to the monorail from both the TTC and Epcot? STILL I manage to gain weight every single trip to Disney. You'd think with all that walking. I guess it's no more walking than I do back at home. But a lot more food. And Rice Cream. And bliss.

Wait, first a photo from the Puffin's Roost. Before that storm broke.

I am part-Viking, you know.

And back to our regularly scheduled programming...I guess you can't ride in the front of the train anymore. Or maybe we just hadn't been blessed with pixie dust. The CM we asked politely told us that guests were no longer permitted.

Oh Jesus painted 'cross the sky, why hast thou forsaken me? (I'll give it a rest soon, but that's one in a million) And why can't we ride in the front anymore? Is it a security breach? Is Disney more accident prone these days? Oh lawsuits and red-tape, you didn't used to flow like oil at sea. Or at least, you weren't as visible. Unless of course I'm overreacting and we we really were just... denied.

Anyhoo. The SO loved the ride (He's 20-something as am I, just to keep things in order for those of you joining the trip. You're late. Where have you been? I like your hair. No, not you, the one reading this from Sydney... Yeah, that's a good look). Back to the monorail. The SO was especially surprised at how much track there was. But then, he envisioned Walt Disney World as a collection of parks and hotels stacked up next to one another in close proximity. Isn't it rejuvenating to see the place through new eyes? Trees you've grown accustomed to, alligators you've grown accustomed to... they all become reborn in a sense (Jesus written in the sky, people. Above Spaceship Earth. Must that geosphere ALWAYS have a word above it? Next thing you know, it'll be a DVC Resort. Or heaven help us, require a Dining Credit).

But oh, to see the Disney magic through new eyes. I can't wait to bring my niece here in a few years and spoil her rotten with princess this and princess that. And OH!! I can't WAIT to put her in Belle's Christmas attire. You know that crushed velvet hooded thing she wears? I hope they make it. If not, I may have to call Tim Gunn for a master class. Otherwise, it's Tiana's dress off the rack (both of her dresses are spectacular). Or a blue Aurora dress, because I'm on Team Merriweather. Since my niece only arrived back in December, I paid extra close attention to all of the little girls and outfits I spotted this trip. That gives me a few years yet to plan.

It's funny, you can easily tell which little girls are happy to be wearing all that sparkle, and adversely, those who are living out a nightmare. Some walk poised, embodying their characters and owning their look, careful to keep the fabric pinched in their fingers and the hems from sweeping the floor. Some little princesses are fanciful, beaming and skipping.

The rest just look pissed.

Maybe mama should wear the dress instead? I hope my niece likes that sort of thing. But gee, she'd be regal in anything. Still, my DB and SIL are already prepared for me to whisk her away. Full on Bibbidibobbidiboutiqueification. Sigh... can't wait. We'll make the other little princesses green with envy. Kidding. Pea-green with envy.

But back to the current trip. The SO gazed out the window at the swamps and I inhaled that wonderful sweaty monorail pleather; a mixture of sulphur and nostalgia. The train that had been selected for us courtesy of the Disney elves didn't have the Tron overlay, so we were actually able to look out the windows.

Not that I disapprove of the design, just the cloudy view it provides. Speaking of which, what's with all the Mickey balloons on the Disney buses? You can't see squat anymore. I'd like to celebrate their removal. Despite the whole birthday/graduation trip, with all these celebrations, don't you start seeing one big blur of celebrate? It's like Vegas. Everything starts to feel like it isn't worth anything after a few days. Disney never does, but those balloons? Getting off the psychiatrist's chaise lounge now. I said earlier that I loved having my birthday there for the first time, everything else is just details.

We disembarked at at Ye Old Transportation and Ticket Center. I almost nixed my original plan of taking the SO to the Contemporary via Monorail because of the crowd of people waiting for the Resort line. But since we'd be walking back to the MK after dinner, it was monorail or bust. Besides, is there a better way to first experience that hotel?

He thought it was majorly cool. I can't always predict his cool factor scale. Well, he's cool. But I mean, you know what I mean. He just loved it. I pointed out the Mary Blair's resplendent five legged goat mural, and told him of the many changes that have transpired over the years. We wandered through the shops (I caught my first glimpse of the Dooney and Burke bag. Nice), and I left him to some souvenir shopping while I took a break on one of those flat rectangular benches near the giant windows overlooking the pool area.

I love sitting and feeling classic Disney World. Taking it in. I spent three years of my childhood living in Florida, and though I don't remember very much of it, I do remember certain things that just shine like streetlamps. Isolated things, like sitting on the floor of the Polynesian (I did stay there as a kid, too bad I don't remember it) with a Disney cassette and book that you'd following along with. Or reaching up to squeeze Mickey's nose when I met him. Or crying uncontrollably during Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. Remembering how my father lost his sunglasses on Pirates of the Caribbean and Disney managed to find them AND ship them home to us! I feel a lot of that when I'm in the older parts of Disney. The parts that don't seem overtly trademarked and franchised. I don't live in the past or anything, but it's nice to see it flicker by every so often. I also noticed the wear of the windows and the walls of the Contemporary. Reflected on that a bit, stretched, and rejoined the SO.

Checking in on the third floor (unless it's a different floor, I can't keep these facts in order) for California Grill can be a romantic experience with the one you love. Unless of course, you're joined on the special elevator ride by a family with two small children. Bah. I wanted the SO to see how cool it was... but oh well. Oh, and the kids were in graphic t-shirts and cargo shorts. Yes, I'm the guy complaining about staying true to a dress code. You want a nice evening out - in this case, a birthday dinner - you expect people to cooperate. Even those with small kids. My parents did the same with me as a child. But they wouldn't have taken me to the CG at that age. Minor rant, but a tired kid crying and complaining during a dinner atop the Contemporary? Not cool people. Not cool. SO many exhausted kids being dragged around from dusk 'til dawn. I'd be crying too.

I know I can be wound tighter than Cameron in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but these first few things were the first few signals that this wasn't going to be a winner. California Grill has long been one of my top two favorites (with Jiko the other), but there wasn't as much magic this time. Our server started things off sweetly by commenting that I must have been turning 21 when I ordered a glass of wine. But he rarely refilled our water glasses, and seemed fairly distant. I noticed a server I've had many times before with the table to our right. You've probably seen him before, he kneels to the table level when taking your order. I overheard him saying he'd been in the military, and he does have a very military look. Wish we'd had him. The bread basket changed, btw. Or else I was given something different three years ago. I recall focaccia served with olive oil. This time it was a crusty bread and rock-hard butter.

But Yoshi is still there, and we had a prime seat at the window just opposite her station. She's another Disney constant, and I love her food. I started out with a spicy roll consisting of tuna, crab and scallops. As always, it is superb. I don't think I get sushi better prepared back home. SO doesn't even like Japanese food, but when he sampled it, he wished he had also ordered it. That's a miracle. He didn't fare as well with his choice. Because he so adored his salad at Jiko, he stayed the course by starting with the Lobster Salad. I warned him that I had never tried it before, and it had the possibility of being rubbery. Well, it was rubbery. I'm sure the asian flavor profile didn't improve anything (even if he did love the sushi), but here's to trying new things!

For our entrees, I had to again go with the ultimate Disney entree: the Pork Tenderloin with Goat Cheese Polenta. Always the winner, he mmmmed it just as much as the short ribs at Jiko. (Not to nitpick, but I found the Pork...okay, yes, to nitpick... I found the pork a lot dryer than I remember it being in prior visits).

No dessert for us because, as I pointed out in my Jiko review earlier, my two favorite Disney restaurants serve the most spotty desserts. California Grill, especially. Everything is hazelnut syrup crunch cookie sugar crunch sorbet with dark chocolate crunch lemon wafer crunch candy. And maybe because we didn't order dessert, I got an unsigned card "From the California Grill Cast" or something. So Jiko and Crystal Palace rule in the celebration regard. And we didn't even order dessert at those places. Granted, dessert isn't an option at breakfas - oh moving on...

I dunno, something felt off about the evening in general, though the view is always rewarding:

But the rowdy kids are so uncool. Yes, it's Disney. But it's expensive up there for a plate of food. Oh well, the prices you pay...

After dinner, we walked back to the Magic Kingdom bus. The SO loved how nice the walk was, and how close it was. Man, I am full of complaints on this day, but have you all made peace with the Bay Lake Tower Condos? I know the interiors are beautiful, and the views are amazing, but it doesn't gel at ALL with the surroundings. If I had the money, of course I'd want to stay there at least once. But on an aesthetic level, it's as much an eyesore as the Swan and Dolphin are to World Showcase. Call me old-fashioned.

As we were walking, the SO asked about the Memorial Walkway. I assured him that those people were alive (the majority at least, and not to be disrespectful, I know some have been purchased in memory of loved ones). I remember the little booths that first announced the Walkway Around The World. My father and I were on a trip together, and he stopped by to peruse one of the pamphlets. I asked him if we could get a brick, and he gave me some lesson on marketing and repeat business. And then he said something I could understand at the time, which was "I can't guarantee that it'll be around in ten years." And he was right about some of them at least, chipped away and illegible. Still, it would have been nice, but there you go. He didn't want to spend the $99 or whatever it was back then. And who could blame him?

We caught the bus home (which always played the banjo bayou music and never the jazz music, unless the jazz music's been discontinued) and went to bed early. The Wizarding World beckoned the following morning, and there's no rest for the weary. OH! Before that, does anyone else find it annoying that your TV resets to Keira-Ashley-whatever her name is's Top 10 Must Sees at Disney channel WHENEVER you turn it on? It's fun the first two days.

One more thing, the alligators out on the pathway toward the pool? They bring me joy. I'd like to have little statutes available for purchase in that afterhought of a gift shop, Jackson Square Gifts. To whom it may concern.

Day 6 coming soon!

 

[__disneygirl]

You totally got me on all your references! Tarantino, Madonna, the F-train? I'm so in! I love this. I didn't get to read the whole thing yet but I WILL be catching up. Also, you need to try the sugar cookies at Wolfgang Puck Express (actually, you should try the EVERYTHING at Wolfgang Puck Express, but I know you're quite fond of sugar cookies) because they are perfection!

 

[jakenjess]

Your updates are a perfect way to start the day! (Much like bacon, in case you're a Michael Scott of The Office fan ) Hilarious!

Sorry your CG experience wasn't quite up to par. I agree on bringing kids here. Our little ones spent quality time at the Neverland Club while we enjoyed the CG.

Your niece is a very lucky little lady! And just FYI, about seven or so years ago they did sell the Belle Christmas dress. My DD wanted it oh-so-bad, but alas, it was a bit out of the budget.

What the heck is with the Tron overlay?? First time I've seen that one.

Looking forward to more!

 

[Sassagoula Billy]

You totally got me on all your references! Tarantino, Madonna, the F-train? I'm so in! I love this. I didn't get to read the whole thing yet but I WILL be catching up. Also, you need to try the sugar cookies at Wolfgang Puck Express (actually, you should try the EVERYTHING at Wolfgang Puck Express, but I know you're quite fond of sugar cookies) because they are perfection!

A kindred spirit! And what's that? UNDISCOVERED SUGAR COOKIES? I've been to Wolfgang Puck Express but I missed out on the sugar cookies. Must. Return. And I will!

Your updates are a perfect way to start the day! (Much like bacon, in case you're a Michael Scott of The Office fan ) Hilarious!

Sorry your CG experience wasn't quite up to par. I agree on bringing kids here. Our little ones spent quality time at the Neverland Club while we enjoyed the CG.

Your niece is a very lucky little lady! And just FYI, about seven or so years ago they did sell the Belle Christmas dress. My DD wanted it oh-so-bad, but alas, it was a bit out of the budget.

What the heck is with the Tron overlay?? First time I've seen that one.

Looking forward to more!

I've never seen The Office or 30 Rock... and I keep meaning to Netflix them. Maybe I'll hibernate with them come winter.

California Grill still has my heart, despite a few bumps these past two visits. Thanks though for agreeing with me on the kid front.

I'm already starting a Belle's Christmas Dress fund. I hope I'm prepared!

Re: Tron, I think it's been up for a few months now as a promotional tie-in. I guess it could be worse. They could have put the overlay onto Spaceship Earth. I don't personally have a major problem with it, but I did want the SO's first monorail glimpse to be un-Tronned. At least the first one we saw while on the bus (who could see out of those windows?) to MK was untouched.


Oh, and I updated the first page with some Cast of Characters info. And I'll be providing links there to the requisite pages.

 

[Sassagoula Billy]

The SO's a bigger fan than I. Strike that. He is an unprecedented fan.

My mom originally told me about it in '99. "Honey, you'll love it. It's like Roald Dahl." The magic words. Maybe Dahl was my first hero? Still, the hype and the craze was everywhere, and I am anything but populist. (Disney, Madonna and much of Pop Culture notwithstanding). You know when everyone tells you how great something is? You must see this! You must try this! You must go to this cafe!. And you hem and haw and think... is it worth it?

I only JUST saw Casablanca two days ago due to similar circumstances. This stigma. I'm so very glad I did, because it is completely worth it. Magic is what it is. And speaking of magic, when I finally did pick up Sorcerer's Stone, I read one of the strongest opening chapters I can remember. "The Boy Who Lived". It wasn't Roald Dahl. There were overtones, but here was J.K. Rowling... a new hero of mine. Just as I was about to start my 20s, here was my childhood creeping up on me again.

I of course followed the books like everyone else, and anticipated their releases. I didn't take as much to the movies, though I did see them all as they were made. I remember when I first started listening to podcasts, there was a Harry Potter one in the mix. This world of Ms. Rowling brought me joy, but it also brought me new understandings of the post-9/11 era. She awakened a lot, and I doubt we'll ever see another phenomenon quite like it.

But I didn't buy wands.

The SO on the other hand lives and breathes this stuff. Lines up at bookstores, waits in line for movie openings, orders unique merchandise, knows the books six ways to Hogwarts. So for the birthday trip to Orlando, and the celebration of his college graduation, why not stop over to that new land we done heard a little about?

So, are you ready? Aloha Wingapo. Here we go.



Early mornings weren't anything new this trip. It was a week of early mornings. My sources online said Universal would be opening its gates to non-Universal Hotel guests at 9, so I assumed a 6:45 shuttle should do it. Well, the earliest Mears shuttle bus/van didn't leave until 7:25 from the French Quarter. That would have to do. So, we were up, showered and out of the room by 6:45. Would't want to miss the bus or anything, and since I had never arranged a Mears transfer before (my friend had arranged it that first time), I didn't want to mess anything up. We were venturing "off-property" to an unknown wilderness. To a place that had only officially opened days earlier.

I think there was one Apple Bran muffin left, so we had something in our tummies as we walked along Rue d'Baga towards the main building.

I had my delicious Starbucks Via bold roast coffee in hand, all prepared for adventure.

The representative I spoke with on the phone said we'd be meeting Mears near bell services. We saw a large number of people waiting just in front of the lobby, but thought they were going elsewhere. A Disney Cruise Line bus pulled up and whisked a large number of those folks away. It left about 10 or 11 people.

It was now 7:29. They were late. We watched Disney bus after Disney bus come and go. And Mears taxi after Mears taxi headed to Universal. Yep, all of the people left behind were going to Universal. But they had had the presence of mind to order taxis. The first Mears anything I saw - taxi after taxi in this case - I ran to and inquired. Geez, those guests getting in acted like they were traveling in iPads. I even jokingly suggested that we share the fare. One couple even sniffed at me! Where's that Jesus skywriting when you need it?

At 7:50 or thereabouts, after a distress call to Mears, our chariot arrived. Packed to the gills. The van looked to seat about 11. We were close to 15. The SO got in the front seat, and I jammed in the back with the cattle. The girl I sat next to seemed nice though. And the driver did apologize profusely. But I was in a state of panic. The SO knew that. Maybe that's why he sat in front. "THE DAY IS RUINED! WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT FOR EVERYTHING". LoL, like that wouldn't have changed had the 7:25 arrived on time.

Since the only place left for additional passengers was the luggage rack, we thankfully went directly to the Universal Complex. The SO spotted Hogwarts Castle from the front seat and gasped. A few people in the van laughed and oohed. I won't lie, there was an energy that began the second we got in the van to our exit from the park later that day that is indescribable. To be there opening week with people who really wanted to be there? It'll never be the same. A real treasure of an experience.

It is strange to see Hogwarts from the highway. And pulling into Universal is like entering some strange Los Angeles Mall. By the time we parked, were up the escalator, over the bridge (moving platforms and all... so very sterile), through the PromoZone (CityWalk I think it's called) and through the gates to Islands of Adventure.

What?

Yeah, the gates were open. At 8:15. Not just for hotel guests. But for EVERYONE. Boo to the Disboards for not letting me know this. Unless you did and I just didn't read it. I thought there'd be people piled up outside waiting to be let in. No, the gates were open. So, we went in. There was a line formed to the right that said "Hotel Guests Only" or something to that effect. It began at the front of the park.

With all my might, I mustered: "We're up without a paddle."

The SO remained sickiningly optimistic. Other people were perplexed. So where's the line for the civilians?

"Oh, non-hotel guests can enter through the rear entrance of the Wizarding World."

Okay, cool. We started walking. No signs or anything, glad we asked. Disorganization city. Through Marvel Land and I don't know land, and Jurassic Park and....



You know better than this. You should have given Mears the bird and taken a private towncar. You should have been here at 6 am! Bah! Years of theme parkgoing has taught you nothing. Nothing! (I was like Gollum from Lord of the Rings).

Okay, remain calm. This line doesn't seem so bad. We can't be more than what, two miles away? As we waited in a Steven Spielberg movie (the same John Williams score looping over and over... which I guess was appropriate, considering he composed the score to the land where we were headed), I noticed a curious thing. People were taking turns getting out of line to ride ALL of Islands of Adventure while waiting in line for Wizarding World. "Spiderman was awesome, there was no wait!" People dripping (not from humidity...that was us) from Jurassic Park or Ripsaw Falls. They were geniuses, I wish I'd thought of it. I wish I'd known. We could have done it at anytime, but when the not-cast members came 'round with carnival tickets for our entry to the Wizarding World, I figured we should stay put. Yep, we all got little individual "Admit One" tickets for entry. How forward-thinking of them. Heaven help little Sally's mother should little Sally eat it.

And oh those poor little kids. Parents and adults can complain to high heaven, but those poor little kids. The ones who were up near the entrance must have started their day hours before us. Oh well, it's character building!

The line starts to move. Hey this may go better than I thought? Inching closer, you see Hogwarts castle. And palm trees. It's such a complimentary vista. (The SO took this shot from across the lake, but it'll give you an idea.)

But we were excited. And then we stopped. This line needed Activia. At one point, we stopped in front of a collection of misting fans. Oh how lucky were the folks standing here all that time?

At around 10:15 (so not that bad), we finally gained entrance to our destination. But that's for later. What, you think you can get in that easy? Ha.