S/O thread - things you want to say to people in real life...

[tennvalgirl]

Your eyebrows look like horizontal question marks.

 

[WL Fan]

Pick up your own stuff. I will help, occasionally (and do!) but it makes me mad when I have to do it all the time.

A random cough or puke doesn't necessitate a trip to the ER.

Trust me. No one wants to see all that skin. Put it away.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Inspired by the "things you want to say in threads" post let's do a vent thread about things we'd like to say in real life but we know we can't.

When I want drama, I'll turn on the pay channels and watch the professionals perform it.

Yes, you're behaving like donkey's hind end.

I don't take your advice because 1). I didn't ask for it, and 2). I've seen your results.

 

[luvmy3]

OMG you guys are making me laugh so hard I'm crying

 

[OceanAnnie]

Pick up your own stuff. I will help, occasionally (and do!) but it makes me mad when I have to do it all the time.

A random cough or puke doesn't necessitate a trip to the ER.

Trust me. No one wants to see all that skin. Put it away.

 

[OceanAnnie]

If you stick that nose up any higher, you'll be able to read the tag in the back of your shirt.

 

[legalsea]

My contribution:

What? You started a new thread asking for prayers for your postman’s sister-in-law’s nephew’s best friend’s roommate at college?



Sorry, but some of the prayer threads really stretch the consanguinity issue.

 

[threecrazykids]

Quit dressing your animal in clothing. Not only does the animal feel like a fool...YOU look like an idiot for doing it and honestly believing it's adorable.

Quit worrying about who else you "are so SURE" is screwing around on their wife and realize that everyone in the entire world knows YOUR hubby is nailing his secretary.

Stop talking about your wedding...I'm sorry, NO ONE is even 1/2 as excited about the day as you are. I don't need to know every single detail...I'm going to be there...I'm family, I have to be.

Don't tell me that your kid will ONLY eat McDonalds otherwise he refuses to eat. BS...when did McDonald's start delivering? DON'T FREAKING TAKE HIM THERE...HE WILL EAT EVENTUALLY.

Yes, I get it...your kids are your life...you define yourself as nothing but a Mother. I'm sorry you couldn't give 2 sh*ts about your husband but don't try to make ME out to the bad person because I choose to put my marriage as much of a priority as my children. I love my husband AS MUCH AS my kids, and NO I don't feel like I'm cheating my kids because of it.

 

[dawn1620]

Yes I laughed at your joke this morning...it was funny.
Yes I commented later on in the same day that your sweater looked nice on you...it was a nice sweater.....it looked nice on you.

This does not mean I now think you are a god and want you in a biblical way.



To the almost 40 year old trying to recapture your youth..quit dressing like a 20 year old, you can be sexy without being ridiculous.
To the one that wonders why the men in the office don't take you seriously..quit dressing like a prostitute...heck I can't even look you in the eyes when you have that much cleavage on display.
To the guy in my office in the back corner office...yes you make a ton of money, not everyone wants you because of that..you have the personality of a brick and a body to match.
And no to my friend...that pole dancer did not really want you..she wants to pay her rent.

 

[sunnyday123]

jumping on board before this one is closed!

No, you cannot have some of my food. It's my lunch, you freakin moocher. Stop supporting your deadbeat loser crack head daughter, and maybe you could order out once in a while too.

 

[luvmy3]

Maybe if you got your behind out of bed in the morning and got to work before lunchtime like the rest of the grown-ups do you'd be able to get all that stuff done that you are constantly complaining you can't because there aren't enough hours in your day

If your child is constantly getting in trouble its not because his teacher is a witch, its because your child is a trouble maker.

Is it actually going to take your child getting run over by the school bus for you to do something about him at the bus stop.

 

[Vixen]

For some people i got on facebook

* I don't care about every thing your kid does if he farted thats his problem!
* Stop trying to be all cutesy with all your updates no matter what you do you are no cute!

 

[sunnyday123]

You don't want your wife to work because you don't want anyone else watching your kid? Let me tell you what, it'd be the best thing from him because if you two were 1/2 the parents you think you are, you still wouldn't be worth a darn.

 

[Cornhusk]

Your facebook status updates are stupid. The fact that you are updating every hour shows to me you need a j.o.b.

I don't care if he is related to me, I am not getting him a job where I am at because he is not qualified. He came to work in flip flops and they were supposed to take his seriously?

Yes. I am married to him. No. I don't want t be hooked up on a date. How about you hook up your daughter with him, it isn't like the guy she is dating is worth anything. The only thing I have to say that is nice about that guy is that his tattoos are spelled correctly.

You are in your 40s. Stop pouting in the camera and throwing up gang signs, I mean you have a picture of your grandson next to yours. No one thinks you are cool.

Just because that haircut worked for Pan Benatar and you oh so love her, does not mean that haircut will work for you.

The mullet isn't coming back. The rocker mullet isn't coming back. So cut your hair, you are making grandma cry.

 

[TinklednPants]

No... that outfit doesn't make you look fat. You are fat. And that cabinet full of Ho-Ho's isn't going to help.

 

[Cornhusk]

No... that outfit doesn't make you look fat. You are fat. And that cabinet full of Ho-Ho's isn't going to help.

If you are laying on the bed, red faced and heaving to try to put on your prom dress from 1980, do not tell me "It still fits!"

 

[Gabes_mommy]

The constant "uber spiritual" stuff you post on Facebook doesn't make you look deep - it makes you even more annoying and frankly if you keep it up no one is ever going to marry you.

 

[Cornhusk]

I don't care if the parrot is your "baby" keep it away from my kid or I am going to send it flying.

When you put a piece of bread in your mouth and let the parrot feed right out of your piehole, that is creepy and sick. You are not its "mommy"

 

[jog58]

Ok, so he cheated on you three times and constantly lies to you, right? You have been "seeing" him for over two years and you are still being introduced as his friend? He uses his mother's death as an excuse to act like a jerk? No, he's not a dbag he's just misunderstood. Got it.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Your facebook status updates are stupid. The fact that you are updating every hour shows to me you need a j.o.b.

I don't care if he is related to me, I am not getting him a job where I am at because he is not qualified. He came to work in flip flops and they were supposed to take his seriously?

Yes. I am married to him. No. I don't want t be hooked up on a date. How about you hook up your daughter with him, it isn't like the guy she is dating is worth anything. The only thing I have to say that is nice about that guy is that his tattoos are spelled correctly.

You are in your 40s. Stop pouting in the camera and throwing up gang signs, I mean you have a picture of your grandson next to yours. No one thinks you are cool.

Just because that haircut worked for Pan Benatar and you oh so love her, does not mean that haircut will work for you.

The mullet isn't coming back. The rocker mullet isn't coming back. So cut your hair, you are making grandma cry.

You guys are too much!!! I've seen a lot of these things mentioned. And it isn't pretty.