Thank You for everyones support, prayers, and pixie dust!!
I thought I could prepare myself for it, but truthfully can not begin to expain the devastation I am feeling. I was expecting Dan to die of natural causes, he decided that he simply could not stand the pain any longer. Caitlyn was told that Dan Daddy was on his way to heaven and doesn't hurt anymore, she has wept on and off and is trying to be surprisingly strong. I am trying not to cry in front of her but it is becoming too hard to handle.
When my father passed away a few years ago Mom and I would think about him whenever we found a penny - usually the pennies would appear when we were feeling down and needed a little pick me up. Dan and I explained the idea behind the penny to Caitlyn and said that everytime she finds a penny that will mean that Dan Daddy is smiling down at us in heaven. Caitlyn seemed to find confort in thinking that in someway Dan could always reach her, she ran to her room and got her piggy bank to give to Dan... that way he would have lots and lots of pennies in heaven to use. Today after the medical examiner left with Dan's body Caitlyn and I went driving (I had no idea what I wanted to do or where we should go) Caitlyn wanted to stop and get something to drink. She found a penny on the way in to the gas station.. that was all she seemed to need. Caitlyn is at peace now knowing that Dan left her a penny. I wish I could be that easily calmed.
I am staying with Janette tonight, I don't think I would feel ok being anywhere... but at least here I don't have to explain the details over and over again. Caitlyn is staying with my Mom. I am trying to pull myself together so I can be strong for Caitlyn tomorrow.