Referring to people as Sir or Ma'am...

[daisax]

I also talked to my children this way from the time they were young. If they asked me a question, I said, "yes, ma'am" or "no ma'am". They are polite and respectful to everyone because this is the way they learned to talk. I can't tell you how many compliments I get on my children's manners. Be mannerly to them, and they will learn respect for other people. I don't think of manners as a way to "show off" or be superior...or even being from the south...it's just a way of letting other people know that you think they're significant. What's wrong with that?

I grew up thinking my elders were significant and worthy of respect and I've never called anybody ma'am or sir in my life. As far as I know, my PARENTS never called anybody ma'am or sir. (Well, my father was in the Air Force, so I guess he did for a while!)

So if you equate not using those terms with a lack of manners/lack of respect, you'd be mistaken. It's simply a custom in some places and not a custom in others.

To go even further... I don't think I ever heard those words out of my grandmother's mouth!

 

[AuntieM03]

We use sir and ma'am here in Los Angeles, especially if you are not introduced to whom you are speaking.

The tricky bit is the age thing. Sir is easy. All males are sir. Ma'am is usually used for women who are much older or much younger than yourself.

I would only call a colleague ma'am if I was being silly or extremely sincere. (As in, thanks, ma'am, you just pulled my butt out of a sling!)

I'm from the LA area also and at 41 I still find it a bit painful when somebody addresses me as ma'am

 

[Catzeyes]

I grew up in Illinois and Wisconsin and was taught to use sir and ma'am. I still use them to this day when addressing someone older.

 

[NotUrsula]

Not having heard the tape I don't know if it was the 911 operator who was saying it, but I wouldn't be surprised if it were.

Emergency operators here use it more than normal because it is useful as a way to get the caller's attention and interrupt them as necessary. As in, "Ma'am -- could you repeat the address please? Ma'am -- ma'am -- I can't get someone out to you if you don't give me the complete address."

Sometimes callers babble because they are panicked, and this is a good way to be polite but still get their attention and get them back on track with giving the operator the needed information.

Try arguing with an emergency room nurse or police officer about entering a restricted area for whatever reason. You are likely to get a whole string of, "I'm sorry Ma'am, you can't go in there. [grabbing your arm to block you with an iron grip] I'm sorry Ma'am, no exceptions."

 

[Dan Murphy]

....It is just how I talk.

Hunter and Keith also.

 

[MichelleVW]

I grew up thinking my elders were significant and worthy of respect and I've never called anybody ma'am or sir in my life. As far as I know, my PARENTS never called anybody ma'am or sir. (Well, my father was in the Air Force, so I guess he did for a while!)

So if you equate not using those terms with a lack of manners/lack of respect, you'd be mistaken. It's simply a custom in some places and not a custom in others.

To go even further... I don't think I ever heard those words out of my grandmother's mouth!

Agreed....I never heard it growing up yet we still were respectful of our elders.

 

[ginna74]

I use sir and ma'am all the time. and so does hubby. hmmmmmm when talking to someone older then me or when talking to someone of authority like a police officer.hubby always says it to the ladies and I sometimes catch myself saying to ladies even if they aren't of authority or even older, like cashiers when they have been helpful. I was always taught to be respectful in that manner. because it is just odd for me to say ok ty... um person.. or ty lady or hey you!... so ty maam or or ty sir seems much more polite

how does one to refer to a stranger in a polite way if not refering to them as sir or maam? There must be a lot of ways but I only know of that way

 

[Mom2Nick]

As in, "Yes, sir" or "Yes, ma'am"? Yes, it is somewhat common (everywhere in the US, I think) and it is considered polite and respectful. It is especially used when speaking to some kind of authority figure (e.g. teacher, boss, policeman), but also between employees at a store or restaurant, and the patrons they are serving.

It's more of a regional thing as it's definitely not common to say Yes Sir/Ma'am etc in the north.

 

[alexandria674]

I didn't use it as much until I was 17. I went to a Military School where they taught us everything from English to manners and the rule of sir and ma'am must have stuck to me. I do see some people using it here in California, but not a lot.

 

[georgina]

I don't say "thank you ... um person". I just say "thank you". Works for me.

 

[Nie0214]

I live in New England. It doesn't really bother me, but I would rather never heard myself referred to with that title. It's kind of offensive up here to call someone ma'am. Nobody here uses it.

I always thought it is a Southern thing. I hear it when I call states like Georgia for work.

 

[MichelleVW]

I don't say "thank you ... um person". I just say "thank you". Works for me.

 

[kstategrad]

Here in Tennessee, it is not only considered polite, but it's really kind of expected to say "ma'am" and "sir."

In fact, my kids are considered to be behaving disrespectfully at school if they don't refer to their teachers that way.

Also, I'm not originally from here, so I did not raise my oldest son to say 'ma'am' and 'sir.' This caused a lot of issues when he was younger, and he's learned to adapt. My younger son still has a hard time with it, b/c I don't enforce it at home. Yet at school and pretty much anywhere else, it is expected.

Another thing: if a parent asks a child a question, the child responds with, "ma'am?" instead of "WHAT?!" I think that's kinda weird, but it's just the way it is down here. All of my friends' kids do this.

Even at work, when I'm on the phone with someone, or someone asks me a question, I respond with, "yes, ma'am," or "no, ma'am." I wasn't raised to do this, but I've adapted to the TN culture.

 

[bluerendezvous]

We say Ma'am, we say Sir, we say grace before meals.

 

[kstategrad]

We say Ma'am, we say Sir, we say grace before meals.

Yes, ma'am. Us too!

 

[Narnian_Princess]

I was raised to call all adults Ma'am and Sir, but it didn't really catch on until I went into martial arts and police explorers (sort of a police "internship" and training for young people) and now it's just reflex. Many people ask me not to call them Sir or Ma'am, but it takes a very conscious effort and a decent amount of familiarity with the person for me to stop. And even then I still slip up.

Personally, I'd rather err on on the side of politeness.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I've always thought it was a southern thing. No ma'am or sirs where I grew up in Ohio and PA.

Me, too. I grew up in Michigan, and moved to SC then GA about 25 years ago. I don't ever remember hearing it up north, but down here the kids learn it as soon as they learn to talk. I wish I had taught my kids to use it, I think it is respectful and certainly not OVER polite. I don't think there is such a thing, unless it is done in an "Eddie Haskell" sort of way. The kids are taught to use it in school.

 

[MichelleinMaine]

It's a definately a southern US thing. I think it's nice to hear, but people would look at you strangely talking like that in the north!

Re: those who said it's a military thing, I have long had a theory that "southern-speak" is the dominant one in the military. I swear I started picking up a southern accent when we lived on base (in Germany! )

 

[tinah159]

I grew up in Indiana. We used these terms to speak to someone in authority. Otherwise we addressed elders as Mr/Mrs unless they had told us to use their first names. Now I live in Florida and my step-kids must address everyone as Miss Tina/Mr Darrell etc. I hate it. The childrens mother still make the kids address me this way even after I have asked them for 6 years to call me by my frist name. I makes me crazy and is disrespectful.

 

[bigtinkfun]

I'm a Southerner and an Air Force brat. "Ma'am" and "Sir" are part of my DNA, I feel uncomfortable and ill-mannered if I don't use them.

In fact, Southerners have kind of a saying that you can tell when you're in the South, because the children all use "Ma'am" and "Sir."

We also bless other people's hearts on a regular basis. If you have any familiarity with Southern food, you'll know why.