Redneck weddings (inspired by Bridesmaid Horror Stories)

[BUCKEYE MICKEY]

Not really red kneck more like cheap!

My DH side of the family- I was asked to go to reception right after the ceremony to meet the caterer. All they did was drop off the food, I had to do the rest. I was putting chips in mismatched bowls, they had no serving trays so everything was put out in the aluminum containers they came in. Paper plates and bowls. The salad dressing came in 1lb containers, with no laddles!

The grooms mom kept coming over and checking on the food, looking in containers and such. I found out later they paid for it!

The real kicker was when I put out the mints. They were red and green -from Christmas! This was July.


I didn't attend this wedding, but was working when co-workers that had gotten married that day, came in to check their schedule, in full wedding clothes.

 

[PrettyInTink]

I think you win the prize! I'm originally from Selma and I can only imagine! Thank goodness none of the weddings I've been to there were like that. I haven't been back to Selma in years though.

OMG I bet if I said the last name you would know the people. It was held at the Smitherman Building (old vaughn hospital downtown) How long have you been away from selma?

 

[WeirdEyes]

OMG I bet if I said the last name you would know the people. It was held at the Smitherman Building (old vaughn hospital downtown) How long have you been away from selma?

I had my reception at the Smitherman Building. Trust me...it was a normal 80's wedding. LOL PM me their last name. I bet I do know them. I moved away from Selma 20 years ago. It was the best move I've ever made. Not long after, my parents followed me. I do have a few relatives still there.

 

[Poohnatic]

Have to add a pic.... a classy redneck wedding
(no its not a wedding i went to)
while the dresses are horrid...look closely...those are little john deer logos and tractors on that lovely yellow fabric

I guess they could muck out the stalls before the wedding and not have to worry about their footwear?

Suzanne

 

[Ride Junkie]

The 'alter' had rebel flags and a portrait of Nathan Bedford Forrest (racist, civil war era). The 'food' was KFC and the cake was a homemade cake decorated like....a rebel flag.

Sounds like one I went to a few years back! It was the wedding of one of my best friends, held in her parents' backyard.

Bride's family: "Father knows best"
Groom's family: Mom in lowcut minidress with the girls proudly on display, dad in jeans w/ can of chewing tobacco in back pocket

Everyone on the groom's side had on either jeans or miniskirts, and I've never seen so many pairs of nylons with runs all up & down them. I believe there were few kegs. Thank goodness the bride's parents are so normal; all the food was great, and the cake was really pretty. Unfortunately, the cake table lost a bit of appeal with the groom's cake...decorated with the confederate flag.

They divorced about 1.5 years later, because the groom kept seeing ghostly images of his ex-wife who had committed suicide.

 

[Heidict]

because the groom kept seeing ghostly images of his ex-wife who had committed suicide.

Maybe I shouldn't but I just couldn't help myself.

 

[goudaman40]

Well . . . I don't know if you would call this Redneck, but this is from my Wedding.



Hubby and I decided to move our Wedding up by an entire year in 1994. We decided over Labor Day weekend to get married that December of 1994. We booked the church, booked the reception (had to be at a local hotel banquet room becauase of all of the Christmas parties) and got everything else set to go (i.e. dress, invitations, tux, etc.).

Everything is going great, then 2 weeks before the wedding the city we lived in announced the Christmas parade date (parade starts and ends at our church). Turns out the parade is on the day of our wedding from 11 - 1. Wedding is at 1. So, we had to send out FYI notes (all invitations already mailed) stating that the wedding would start at 2:30 instead of 1. Then we get a call the week before the wedding from the reception hall asking if we would mind sharing the banquet room with a company that wants a Christmas party. Not only do I say no, but H E double Hockey Sticks No!

The next kicker, two days before the wedding, mom decides I can't used grandmother's wedding ring set, so I have to go out and buy my own wedding band 2 days before the wedding and make sure I can find a size 4.

Day of the wedding, can't get hair done because of Christmas parade, so best friend's mom does my hair. It's pouring down rain and the church dressing rooms are being remodeled (can't get dressed at the church), so I get dressed at the house and arrive at the church in an oversized SHOP VAC TRASH BAG with my wedding dress stuffed into it. Then, there were the signs on all of the doors of the church saying "WEDDING IN PROGRESS, SANTA CLAUS PICTURES ARE IN THE GYM". We still had people coming in during the ceremony looking for Santa. OH, also before the wedding the best man was playing with my wedding ring when you hear, ding, ding, ding, crap! He lost my ring and my hubby, best man, and the minister spent the next 20 minutes searching for my ring.

Pictures after the wedding were being taken when my hubby's mother announced that we were taking too long and she was hungry and going to the reception. Hubby's grandmother, at the reception, asked when we were going to cut the cake, because Hubby's cousin had a championship basketball game that was starting and they didn't want to miss it.

But the best part was the lady and two kids that crashed our reception and spent about 2 hours there mingling with my family, hubby's family, and the guest pretending to be releated to hubby or myself depending on who she was speaking to.

 

[Ride Junkie]

Maybe I shouldn't but I just couldn't help myself.

I know that doesn't have anything to do with the redneck wedding, I just threw that in because that's how the whole thing ended. Yes, he told my friend that SHE had to move out because he was seeing a ghost of the ex-wife. Apparently he had some problems! (Besides being a big fan of all things confederate...) Maybe he was not taking his meds?

 

[Ride Junkie]

Then, there were the signs on all of the doors of the church saying "WEDDING IN PROGRESS, SANTA CLAUS PICTURES ARE IN THE GYM". We still had people coming in during the ceremony looking for Santa.

 

[PrettyInTink]

Hey Weird Eyes: Can't get my pm's to work and I figure no one really knows me on here. The family name was Hatfield. They were/are a nutty bunch of rednecks!

 

[wendy46001]

Then, there were the signs on all of the doors of the church saying "WEDDING IN PROGRESS, SANTA CLAUS PICTURES ARE IN THE GYM".

Oh please tell my you have a picture of yourself with the sign

 

[Conservative Hippie]

I can only imagine how tacky this wedding was, because I didn't go. It was my aunt's fourth marriage, the "wedding" took place in a bar, the picture I saw showed the bride and groom in jeans, and three months later they got divorced.

 

[izzy]

Hey Weird Eyes: Can't get my pm's to work and I figure no one really knows me on here. The family name was Hatfield. They were/are a nutty bunch of rednecks!

Please tell me that you're making this up!!

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

You left your wedding album out on the coffee table, and I snuck a peek while you were disciplining your kids with the fly swatter.

Here you are again:

You made a beautiful bride. Especially when you were doing the keg stand.

Well that's the last time I leave you alone in the trailer while I try to discipline the rug rats for sucking on that windex bottle I left on the pony keg in the back of the El Camino. Keg stands really are my specialty aren't they?

 

[Conservative Hippie]

I know I deserve to be flamed for this....that dress is from the store I used to work at and we have a nickname for it that makes me not surprised at all that the bride ended up in a keg stand...

 

[FreshTressa]

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/bar/362082073.html

 

[PrettyInTink]

Please tell me that you're making this up!!

I swear on my mother. There is a long line of redneck hatfields that spread from selma to clanton..The bride was a hatfield, but the groom was not a mccoy.

 

[PrettyInTink]

Oooh, I must know what you call it! My evilSIL wore that dress.

I know I deserve to be flamed for this....that dress is from the store I used to work at and we have a nickname for it that makes me not surprised at all that the bride ended up in a keg stand...

 

[Conservative Hippie]

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/bar/362082073.html

It is not fair to make a very pregnant woman laugh that hard...bad things happen...

 

[Heidict]

I know I deserve to be flamed for this....that dress is from the store I used to work at and we have a nickname for it that makes me not surprised at all that the bride ended up in a keg stand...

Spill it. You can't tell us something like that and not tell us what you called it.

Tell us or we start burning the soles of your feet!!!