RANT: I don't care if you want to sit next to your kids on the airplane

[morgan98]

You are being a bit rude.

It was a simple question & there is no motive. It's a message board discussion. I actually disagree with your response, & that's ok-clearly we are different kinds of people. But I have no interest in continuing this discussion with you if you are going to be rude.

I think it is rude to imply someone is a "different" type of person because they are not going to just stand up and give you their seats, no questions asked.

As others have said, just because I may not want to/be able to give your child my seat (that I either paid extra for, reserved well in advance, etc.) for YOUR convenience, does not make one a not nice person. You have no clue how nice/not nice the person giving up their seat may be. It may just mean that person needs the seat the are in and does not owe you an explanation for why.

I get it, sometimes travelling with a family causes logistical nightmares. But it really is your problem, not anyone else's.

I said it before, this does not mean that I would never not give up my seat. There would need to be a compelling argument, as the case with the injured child. I would also probably give it up for a very young child to sit next to the parent. However, I really have not seen many airlines expect two year olds to sit away from their parents. These issues, in my opinion, are almost always resolved at the gate.

 

[Dentam]

"Different kinds of people" translates to "I am just better than you". lol

 

[FairestOfThemAll37]

Actually, there are some airlines that also have no assigned seats.

Not calling anyone rude, I'm just appalled at some of these responses. I also suffer from anxiety, especially on planes. But I am an adult, so I have the tools to help myself in a situation like that. I can speak for myself, that my need to sit next to my small children has nothing to do with making my trip more comfortable or convenient. It's simply for safety issues. It's a CHILD-in my case a 1 year old & a 3 year old. The poster who mentioned basic safety, if something were to happen on the plane, speaks volumes.

Personally, if this were to happen to me, I would gladly wait for the next plane or bus (& have done it in the past no problem), before I asked someone to change their seat-it just makes for an awkward situation. I think some of these responses are certainly in the minority of the population though.....or maybe I've just been lucky. When I was very pregnant, holding my baby or toddler, or traveled with an individual with cognitive issues, kind people have always offered to give up their seat for me/them without any hesitation. I've only been in one circumstance that I can recall where I've had to ask & was greeted rudely (a person who took up an extra seat on a bus to place their backpack).

I am also in the camp that the airline needs to take charge of this, to avoid unnecessary confrontations. Put rules in place to protect peoples' basic needs and compensate accordingly, if need be.

I'm sorry, am I understanding you correctly? Because I'm an adult with anxiety I should have coping mechanisms for when somebody needs my seat (when the seat I choose is a big part of my tools to help myself as you say) and sends me to a middle seat so they can sit with their child? Because it's simply for my comfort?

That comes across as extremely ignorant and entitled. It's a safety issue for me as well whether you'd like to admit it or not.

 

[Snap Crackle Pop]

You are being a bit rude.

It was a simple question & there is no motive. It's a message board discussion. I actually disagree with your response, & that's ok-clearly we are different kinds of people. But I have no interest in continuing this discussion with you if you are going to be rude.

Yeah that isn't rude at all. What kinds of people are you trying to say we are?

 

[aristocatz]

Well I would hope you would plan accordingly to ensure that you and your 1 and 3 year old children are next to you. There is a difference between a 5 year old and a toddler/preschooler.
Just because you have anxiety and are an adult doesn't mean that you can easily control it. Just because YOU can doesn't mean other adults can, everyone has different levels of anxiety and what they can tolerate. Maybe you should have compassion for disabled adults too, because anxiety can be very disabling. It seems you are only focused on children and families and feel those should come first above anyone else's needs (those who have a physical or mental disability) and those who have paid for a seat that they got for a specific reason.

Clearly, you have not read my posts, so I encourage you to read them before you make such accusations, because you are either arguing with the wrong person.....or just arguing for the sake of arguing.

-As mentioned, I do plan accordingly & have stated several times that I am in the camp of waiting for that next bus or plane if that were to happen to my family & my child's safety were put at risk.
-I have suffered from anxiety for many years so I am aware of your point of it being disabling. I replied with what my own plan is on a plane to manage my own anxiety. Was not telling anyone else how to manage theirs. I am sure that poster has their own plan of what they need to do to keep themselves safe & no one is suggesting they should put their own safety at risk.
-As I mentioned in another post, cognitive limitations & physical limitations & children who cannot care for themselves should be considered equal when it comes to basic safety. I also mentioned my own experiences traveling with companions who have cognitive limitations. I actually do this as part of my job on a daily basis, so yes, I have plenty of compassion for individuals & their families with special needs.
-If you are suggesting (& you know for sure) that every poster on here who stated they would refuse to assist is doing so because they, themselves, have a physical or mental disability, than I would say clarify that my being appalled at some of these responses is specific to those who are able bodied & able to take care of their own basic needs....but give the responses, I am not sure that is the case.

As mentioned multiple times, I would never put myself or my family in a position where I was at the mercy of someone else. I don't expect you to move for my family, nor would I ask you to unless an emergency was happening. My familys' safety comes way before our convenience. I feel grateful that I have mostly encountered kind guests who have offered their seats, in situations like that, & we were appreciative in return. People are going to behave as they see fit, but I'm still allowed to be appalled at their behavior.

I also forgot how appalling some of these threads can be, so I think I'm done participating.

As an aside, no, I have no plans to bring my 1 year old or 3 year old to a Playhouse Disney or concert of any kind. When they are 5 years old, maybe, but we will likely try to get seats toward the back because that is what works for my family.

 

[aristocatz]

Please explain to us all how giving up a seat on a bus and giving up a seat on a plane is the same thing.

No thanks. It's really not worth it to me.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

What do you feel is the difference?

The difference would be that I have never been on a 5 hour bus ride. When I lived in the city, my bus rides were 15 minutes and my train rides were about a half an hour.

I fly for work frequently. Most of my flights are well over 3 hours. I don't want to be uncomfortable for that long and why should I be?

 

[SirDuff]

No thanks. It's really not worth it to me.

Love it. It's worth it to you for people to explain why they think that they are different but not the reserve. Says a lot.

 

[aristocatz]

Yeah that isn't rude at all. What kinds of people are you trying to say we are?

Different, not less Your above remark is exactly why its not worth it to me to continue this discussion.

.....Darn, these threads are addicting!! Carry on without me-I think I'm done

 

[declansdad]

No thanks. It's really not worth it to me.

Funny, you seemed to be quite invested a little while ago.

 

[Jaya]

No thanks. It's really not worth it to me.

But you're still here.......

 

[NHdisneylover]

OK, I'll play:

Flights tend to be long. They require reserving specific seats (usually) and routes. There are many seats which are less desirable than others (middle seats especially). Flights last at least a couple of hours, often much longer (or are a shorter leg of a much longer itinerary). Parents, or others who need specific seating, have the option to manage that in some way in advance (even in the event of cancelled flights, etc they can work with gate agents ahead of time and ask to wait for a later flight if nothing can be done).
I will sometimes move if I do not need to switch to a less desirable (for me) seat. Sometimes I will not move--and I do not feel I owe anyone an explanation when I do not.

Longer distance trains, at least the ones I ride, have the option to prebook seats or not. If I pay to prebook a seat--no, I would not be switching and yes I will tell you to move if you ignore the little electronic signs which tell you that seat is booked from station x to station y and have sat in my paid for seat. Parents who do not want to risk having to stand in the aisle if all "up for grabs" seats are taken), people with mobility issues, etc all have the option to pay to reserve a seat as well (and there are always a few of the normal seats reevred for those with canes or walkers, so there is an option at no cost for them if they prefer). The cost is pretty low (usually 10 euro or less to reserve) and the travel time (like flights) can be quite long. We choose our seats carefully (DH gets ill if he must ride backwards--so we get seats facing one another so he can be assured of a forward facing seat, etc).

On commuter trains, trams and buses: The time onboard tends to be short, there is no option for a family, or other person to arrange a way ahead of time to have the seat they need--thus I am more willing to give one up. I tend to offer a seat to people who seem to be struggling with mobility (though i have to be careful in how I do that here so as not to offend someone with the assumption that they need my seat) or to a parent trying to physically hold a very young child (but that is rare, here most either remain in the stroller--there are sections designed for that, OR the child is old enough to stand on their own, and really kids seem to handle it fine).

On local trains, buses, trams, etc IF i am offering my seat, it is to someone who would otherwise be standing--not just to accommodate two people sitting near one another. In these situations, really a child young enough to need the seat more than I do is also young enough to sit on a lap.

So the situation is really very different than on a flight.
I have also never been on a bus, train or tram with middle seats.

 

[IndyRnRfan]

Totally agree, my kids safety starts and ends with me.



I'm not selfish darn it, and I'm personally sick of parents who encounter a little advisory crying because the rest of the public doesn't make their life easier. Yes if you can't get the seats you need on a flight get the heck off the plane and make proper arrangements.

Maybe we are not selfish, maybe we are finally forcing you to take responsibility.
Yes, I have missed flight because of my little ones
Yes, I have left movie theaters early
Yes, I have left the magic kingdom due to meltdowns
Yes, I have paid 70 bucks for a meal I took one bite of because my little precious was acting like a park ape
I've rebooked, rearranged, remade a thousand and one thing due to child issues, went through hundreds of vacation days dealing with child issue.

It's called being a parent, if you want others to make your life easy, hire a nanny.

I love this response.

I can't believe this thread is still going on and no way did I read all of the pages. It is pretty simple, if your kids are big enough to sit by themselves, they should if you couldn't get seats together. If they aren't, you should have made arrangements when booking your tickets to get those seats together or with the airline at the gate if that airline doesn't allow you to choose seats in advance. It's called being prepared. Does it hurt to ask someone to switch so you can sit with your child, no. Should they be obligated to move, no. Does that make them a bad person, no. Should you get your underwear in a bunch, no. If you do, you are the one with the problem. If you don't like the situation, pick another flight or here is a brilliant idea, take a car where you have the control of who sits next to each other.

 

[mnrose]

No thanks. It's really not worth it to me.

Messes up the sandbox, and then picks up her toys and goes home. Look, you are free to leave, but you got all upset when people answered YOUR question (and many did, BTW, not just the poster who apparently got you all upset), but you were asked a legitimate question...you're the one wanting to know how a bus and plane were "different"....having gotten quite a few responses which point out the many factual difference, you claim that you don't see it that way, and people want to know why. Instead, you won't answer. Wonder who the rude poster is now?

 

[already]

Actually, there are some airlines that also have no assigned seats.

And even those airlines have things in place that help parents sit with their children. You can pony up the $12.50 per person/per flight for EB. If you book early and purchase EB right away, 99% of the time this will give you A or early B boarding, pretty much assuring you that there will be at least 2 seats together for a parent and child. There might not be a whole row together to seat the whole family together, but parents should be able to sit with a child.

If you don't buy EB and don't check in at the 24 hour mark and you find yourself with C49 boarding there are still options. Most of the time not all the business class boarding has been sold. You can pony up the $40 per person at the gate to board in the earliest A group and get your whole family seated together.

If I am sitting at the gate and have heard announcements that the early seats were for sale and then was approached by a family that had late boarding that wants my seat that I paid EB for, my first question would be why they didn't purchase the early boarding seats. Sitting together must not have been that much of a priority if they didn't take advantage of purchasing the early seats.

If you are bumped from a different flight, I will hear your story and evaluate on a one on one basis. I usually will move for small children or children needing medical attention but I do not feel like I should be bullied into moving.

 

[already]

No thanks. It's really not worth it to me.

Really? You accuse others that don't want to move, you accuse others of being rude if they disagree with you, ask people to explain how moving is different between a bus and plane, you tell people you think it is the same yet you refuse to answer why you feel it is the same.

I believe it is because you can't answer because there is no similarity between a plane and a bus. That is a very common tactic when somebody can't justify their accusations, they then say "I don't want to answer."

 

[LiveYourLife]

At work, logged in quick to toss in some likes before the lock!

Signed,
A Selfish Air Traveler

 

[cjbcam]

You are contradicting yourself.

You said you felt children under 5 should be seated next to a parent. The airline accommodated that and made sure that each of your younger children were seated next to a parent.

So now you are also saying that even though you think the age should be 5 and under, that people are selfish if they don't move for your older children too? What do your 7 & 9 year old do in school? They have to ride a bus without a parent next to them where the bus could be in an accident? They have fire drills, lock down drills, tornado drills without a parent next to them and usually just one adult to 15-30 children. If a 2nd and 4th grader cannot sit in an enclosed area just feet away from their parents then there is a problem with today's youth.

And I love children. I would help a child in an emergency before helping myself. An emergency is far different than a seat especially since they are so rare. I could almost say that with 4 children, it is safer for you to be able to focus on your little ones and allow strangers to guide the older children who are trained how to act in emergency situations. Most schools have fire drills monthly. Older kids are trained to follow directions.

Read my posts. I never said anything about my 7&9 year old HAVING to sit by me and they didn't on that flight.
The responses in this thread are exactly why I wouldn't think a stranger would help if an emergency arose. " Not my kid, Not my problem " I believe was stated.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Read my posts. I never said anything about my 7&9 year old HAVING to sit by me and they didn't on that flight.
The responses in this thread are exactly why I wouldn't think a stranger would help if an emergency arose. " Not my kid, Not my problem " I believe was stated.

I think many people can feel that it is not their problem to move, entertain a child , or otherwise do standard parenting things and yet STILL help in a true emergency. Heck, I figure in a true emergency people of all ages might need assistance and i like to think I would give what I could to whoever I could.
And, quite honestly I'd probably talk pleasantly to a child seated next to me, or help them get their tray table out, pass them a drink, etc (just like I do for adult passengers near me who might be struggling). But if they talked incessantly I would have no problem telling them that i am tired of talking now and they need to find something quiet to do, popping on my headphones and ignoring them--why? Because they are not my child and parenting them is not my job. BUT, helping those in need in an emergency situation is everyone who can help's job, right? Totally different thing, IMO.

 

[morgan98]

Read my posts. I never said anything about my 7&9 year old HAVING to sit by me and they didn't on that flight.
The responses in this thread are exactly why I wouldn't think a stranger would help if an emergency arose. " Not my kid, Not my problem " I believe was stated.

You do understand that people referenced the "not my kid, not my problem," about randomly giving up their seat if asked. That has absolutely NOTHING to do about whether someone would help a child in an emergency. In most emergency situations, people do act as a team and assist others. That does not mean you can have my preferred seat in a non-emergency situation.

ETA: I do not understand how people can jump to the conclusion that those who do not give up their seats are somehow these evil, unhelpful people.