Quarantine and chill and kindness chatty clubhouse: Jump in and join the conversation! All is welcome!

[lynxstch]

@lynxstch My heart goes out to you and your family. Aside from the posts about planning, having fun etc. on this board I have come to realize there is a much deeper, spiritual side as well.

You have a lot of prayer warriors on your side!

Thank you so much. Our DIS Quacker family stick together, we have ever since Covid started. We're always there for each other. I appreciate all the support, believe me

 

[lynxstch]

Good morning.
All of you are doing so much to support me , you don't know what it means to me. Your kind words, and your support and concern go to my heart. I sit here crying when I read them.
This morning is hard. When I called at 6:30 to ask the nurse how he was, she said last night got very 'iffy'. Why did no one call me? She said his BP starting going totally off the wall, when it had been normal and steady since he got there. They added more meds to get it under control. She said as far as she knows, trying to extubate today is NOT on the to do list. That he's 'okay' considering his condition, but her exact words after that were 'it's not good'. I am going up there shortly as soon as I get my head straight. I got a little sleep but not much. Summer is driving me crazy with questions no one has the answers to. She has to take one of her daughters to an appointment in Morgantown today and she's afraid something is going to happen while she's there and he will be gone. I told her something could happen at any time, we can't control it.

Luke and Ben aren't being any help, they're just causing friction between all of us and we don't need that at this time. They kept complaining that Sumnmer and I weren't there day and night, yet they came down last nite at 7 and only stayed for 1 1/2 hours. They stayed at their mothers house last night and are going to the hospital this morning before heading home

Everyone keeps telling me they feel guilty because they live far away and don't see him or keep in contact with him often enough, but I'm having a hard enough time right now without worrying about whatever they are feeling. I'm having enough trouble with my own emotions and trying to keep Summer's under control.
She keeps asking when is too much too much? I don't know the answer to that anymore than she does. That's why he's in ICU , the doctors there can give me their opinions. It's only been 1 1/2 days, let them do their job and see what they can do or not do. That's all I can say at this point

Thank you for all of the concern, care, kind words, and love, I feel every one of them

Lynn

 

[lynxstch]

@footballmouse Happy Birthday Mia! Hard to believe it's already been a year!

 

[NYCgrrl]

Good morning All,

Where to start? Alright, I turned the heat on, AC off, for the first time . This will make my health attendant happy since she’s been rather ostentatious in her sweater wearing. Had a nice convo with younger son this weekend and finally convinced him to stay put for the holiday season. I’m trying to think of somewhere/thing those two can spend time together as a treat and I just can’t make up my mind. I guess it’ll come in due time. It’s been a few years since the two of them spent holidays together and I just want it to be memorable.

I bought a bloc of Cirque du Soleil tickets for the family’s children and two chaperones. I really wanted it to be Balanchine’s Nutcracker but the majority nephews won, LOL. After spending more money than I thought reasonable for children’s entertainment there is no money for a decent restaurant so either another caregiver steps up or it’s Shake Shack for the lot. Being that grandmother and purchased Hanna Anderssen holiday pjs for everyone under the age of 15. Hope I can convince DGD to participate from afar as she refused the past few years ( not a baby; silly; attempts to roll eyes out of my vision with her grandfather egging her on….crazy people). Makes for a great holiday pic.

My last uncle died leaving my last aunt saddened. He has been in a nursing home for the past 8 years so his demise was not unexpected. She will stay in NC for TDay as the medicos haven’t released his paperwork or person yet. Since Ive spare time on my hands I’ll make a holiday dinner for her and my cousin and mail it to them. Told my attendant of my plans so she’s steeling herself for food shopping with the “Demanding One”. Slowly but surely she’s realizing who I am, and good for her. It’s a process no one really thinks about until they find themselves unable to do simple things they took for granted. Conversely I need to stop sweating the little things and make allowances for other people’s thought processes.
I’m going back to page 1273 so I can catch up with everyone’s doings. Be well and your bestest!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Good morning.
All of you are doing so much to support me , you don't know what it means to me. Your kind words, and your support and concern go to my heart. I sit here crying when I read them.
This morning is hard. When I called at 6:30 to ask the nurse how he was, she said last night got very 'iffy'. Why did no one call me? She said his BP starting going totally off the wall, when it had been normal and steady since he got there. They added more meds to get it under control. She said as far as she knows, trying to extubate today is NOT on the to do list. That he's 'okay' considering his condition, but her exact words after that were 'it's not good'. I am going up there shortly as soon as I get my head straight. I got a little sleep but not much. Summer is driving me crazy with questions no one has the answers to. She has to take one of her daughters to an appointment in Morgantown today and she's afraid something is going to happen while she's there and he will be gone. I told her something could happen at any time, we can't control it.

Luke and Ben aren't being any help, they're just causing friction between all of us and we don't need that at this time. They kept complaining that Sumnmer and I weren't there day and night, yet they came down last nite at 7 and only stayed for 1 1/2 hours. They stayed at their mothers house last night and are going to the hospital this morning before heading home

Everyone keeps telling me they feel guilty because they live far away and don't see him or keep in contact with him often enough, but I'm having a hard enough time right now without worrying about whatever they are feeling. I'm having enough trouble with my own emotions and trying to keep Summer's under control.
She keeps asking when is too much too much? I don't know the answer to that anymore than she does. That's why he's in ICU , the doctors there can give me their opinions. It's only been 1 1/2 days, let them do their job and see what they can do or not do. That's all I can say at this point

Thank you for all of the concern, care, kind words, and love, I feel every one of them

Lynn

Very common for this to happen. Everyone’s stressed out. It sounds like you are handling it well and being the level-headed one. As we’ve already discussed this morning, you’re right, it’s too early right now to say when is enough enough. You have to have answers first, of course. See how it goes today and what they have to say. Hopefully tests start to come back. If their energy is too much, ask them to go take a walk, or to bring an iPad and headphones or something and play a game or watch a movie. Whoever is there needs to be supportive, and energy needs to stay calm. If things get tense, that might be a good time to have the chaplain come by. When the nurse calls the chaplain they can say the wife needs support, the kids are stressing her out a bit, etc, so the chaplain can focus on that.

The reason people don’t call in the middle of the night usually is because lots of things happen, and they know it’s important for you to get your rest, too. They save calls for when things aren’t looking good or aren’t manageable, generally. So it’s probably a good sign that they didn’t call, because whatever happened was something they could manage, even if it got a little hairy for a while (typical). When I speak to families I try to give them the facts without emotion, and reassure them that things are stable now, etc.

Lots of hugs.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

Good morning.

@lynxstch , I am so sorry for all that you, Don, and your family are going through. Add mine to prayers being lifted.

@footballmouse , prayers for Bailey and the baby too. I spotted all through my first pregnancy with Sarah. When I was pregnant with Andrew I didn't, so I worried about that too.

Beautiful day today. I think we will talk a walk in Fair Hill.

 

[Snowysmom]

@footballmouse Happy Birthday to Mia.

Lynn Continuing prayers. I hope today brings more answers. If you are finding it difficult to deal with the family with all their questions and complaints, maybe you could do as Pea suggested and pass it along to the chaplain to come and talk to everyone to calm things down. It may help you to focus on you and what you need to do.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Good Morning dear friends,

Happy Birthday Mia first of all! I also can't believe she is already 1--wow!

Dear, dear Lynn, please take care of yourself. Know we love you and are here for you. I was honestly thinking last night my horrible foot pain notwithstanding, If I didn't live across the country from you, I would absolutely be there to give you a hug even in person! I do so extra right now from afar.

Just hugs and love to all, appreciation always too.

 

[Judique]

Very common for this to happen. Everyone’s stressed out. It sounds like you are handling it well and being the level-headed one. As we’ve already discussed this morning, you’re right, it’s too early right now to say when is enough enough. You have to have answers first, of course. See how it goes today and what they have to say. Hopefully tests start to come back. If their energy is too much, ask them to go take a walk, or to bring an iPad and headphones or something and play a game or watch a movie. Whoever is there needs to be supportive, and energy needs to stay calm. If things get tense, that might be a good time to have the chaplain come by. When the nurse calls the chaplain they can say the wife needs support, the kids are stressing her out a bit, etc, so the chaplain can focus on that.

The reason people don’t call in the middle of the night usually is because lots of things happen, and they know it’s important for you to get your rest, too. They save calls for when things aren’t looking good or aren’t manageable, generally. So it’s probably a good sign that they didn’t call, because whatever happened was something they could manage, even if it got a little hairy for a while (typical). When I speak to families I try to give them the facts without emotion, and reassure them that things are stable now, etc.

Lots of hugs.

@lynxstch I agree with Pea-n-me.

The best thing for Don is for everyone to stay calm, but they have to figure that out on their own or maybe with help from the chaplain. You've already got your plate too full. Just focus on staying strong for Don no matter where the chips fly. Take care of yourself also.

As others have said, we wish we could be there to help you. I'd feed the cats and even clean your litter boxes, lol. Hope you get a little chuckle from that!

@footballmouse Happy Birthday to Mia!

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Good afternoon.

 

[tazdev3225]

Good evening.

@lynxstch - I have been keeping you and Don in my prayers. I hope you get some positive news soon.

I've been popping on and off but its been one of those weeks. Sadly my husband's cousin passed away today after a long and valiant fight against metastatic breast cancer. She was determined to fight til her last breath knowing the odds were against her. I feel so bad for her mother and her boys. In less than 4 years her mother lost both daughters to metastatic breast cancer and her boys have lost both their parents in about 2 years to cancer. I pray they keep a close watch on each other as their grandfather and uncle also died from cancer. I hope that made sense.

I am trying to plan Mikeys graduation cruise to Alaska for next summer and am not having a great deal of fun, but in the grand scheme of things the issues are minor annoyances. I am trying to keep that in perspective. Mikey had his first culinary accident today and evidently got a bad cut on his finger. "Chef" (his teacher) and the school nurse both told him he will live so I still don't know how bad it was. I did offer to take him to Urgent Care but he said he thinks it is OK.

We are having an African Dinner at church on Saturday and Ella has decided she wants to attend with a friend. My parish has families from Liberia, Kenya and Cameroon plus our priest and his family is from Uganda so it should be interesting. I did ask and they will label foods with ingredients so I will be OK that way. I know goat can be a favored meat and I am not that brave. Thankfully they do use a lot of vegies in their cooking so I will be happy. The last dinner was a history of Cameroon and it was very interesting to learn something of the country and culture.

Not much else going on here. Hope you all have a wonderful evening.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

dear Taz, I'm sorry my friend. Thinking of you and sending extra love your way.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

We did take a hike. The leaves and sky were beautiful

We are having an African Dinner at church on Saturday

That sounds really interesting.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Carol, I'm so glad.

 

[lynxstch]

@Judique -- that did make me laugh. I had to clean them out when I got home tonight!

It was not a good day. First, not only did 1 chaplain come, but 2 did. The issue is, and I know this sounds strange, but Luke and Ben don't believe in God. Ben got up and walked out of the room, and Luke had already left. My sister in law and niece were there when the first one came. They both said prayers and the second one even sang Amazing Grace to Don, one of his favorite songs. I lost it at that point.

He now has mersa on top of everything else. The mass in his lung, is going to stay there, trying to do anything about it would only cause more stress and suffering for Don. They don't think they can get him off the vent, and I have to make a choice about cpr if his heart stops. I have made it already. But I am not ready to make a choice about the ventilator. I want to give the new meds they started a day or 2 to see if he responds at all.

He will open his eyes if you loudly tell him to (he's really sedated), and he knows I'm there. I asked him a tough question today and his response was to cry and his heart rate jumped and the monitor went off. I tried again with the same response. I'm taking that as a sign that I'm making the right decision.

Both of the boys are in agreement now, Summer is coming around, but in the end I have to be the one to live with my decision, so I'm the one making it (them)

I thank you once again for the kind words, the advice, the private messages, and all of the support. It truly does mean a lot

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Lynn a million! In God's perfect way and time we all, choose to know and love Him. He made each of us after all. Praises extra to Him for blessing you with that experience. Many prayers of course and all my love!

 

[dazedx3]

Lynn… You know Don better than anyone else does. You know in your
heart what his wishes would be. I know how hard it is but, please don’t second guess yourself, because your love for Don leads you to act in his best interest.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Loved your post dear Dazed for the absolute kind and wise truth of your words. Thank you, my friend, for posting them! Lynn, I pray they bring you additional peace.

 

[Snowysmom]

Lynn You will do what is best for Don. You best of all know his wishes. I am glad the boys and Summer are coming to agreement with your decisions. I hope the chaplain was able to offer some peace to you at this time. Thinking of you and praying for Don, you, and your family.

 

[lynxstch]

Good morning, at least it's better than yesterday. They said he had a very good night, with no significant changes, other than they had to up one BP med again. They had given him a bath and he was coughing and got agitated, so they took precautions. The nurse said she was happy with the way he is maintaining status quo right now. Not that it's a positive sign to me, but it's better than yesterday morning.

@Pea-n-Me you have been an invaluable source of information and support in this, and I so appreciate it. I'm taking a lot of what you said with me today when I talk to the Doctor and the nurse. Thank you!

To all my other Quacker family, please keep praying, I don't know if he can feel it, but I certainly can.