PSA regrading divorcé update with a question

[Wendy1985]

Divorce doesn’t always happen because of hate so if someone says they miss their ex don’t ask why they got the divorce

The person who called it might have done it for their safety

Safety does not have to be physical it can be mental safety

Sense mine I have been eating healthier for the most part and I have been getting perfect sleep scores

I am glad I woke up before he laid a hand on me

 

[MamaMermaid]

Glad you're ok.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Divorce doesn’t always happen because of hate so if someone says they miss their ex don’t ask why they got the divorce

The person who called it might have done it for their safety

Safety does not have to be physical it can be mental safety

Sense mine I have been eating healthier for the most part and I have been getting perfect sleep scores

I am glad I woke up before he laid a hand on me

Wise thoughts, Wendy. Thanks for sharing, best wishes for you.

 

[Darcy03231]

I don't hate my ex. He has a lot of good qualities. Unfortunately, he also has a host of mental health issues that he refused to get treatment for and he heavily relied on self-medicating with alcohol and drugs. I just couldn't stay married to him.

When our daughter got married he sat at the same table as me and my current husband. I actually had current husband (of 26 years) on one side of me and ex on the other. No issues at all. In fact, I feel sorry for him. He's his own worst enemy.

 

[Wendy1985]

I don't hate my ex. He has a lot of good qualities. Unfortunately, he also has a host of mental health issues that he refused to get treatment for and he heavily relied on self-medicating with alcohol and drugs. I just couldn't stay married to him.

When our daughter got married he sat at the same table as me and my current husband. I actually had current husband (of 26 years) on one side of me and ex on the other. No issues at all. In fact, I feel sorry for him. He's his own worst enemy.

Sounds like mine he had anger issues but thankfully did not self medicate

One of the last things he said to me was my anger triggers your anxiety but I am still not going to get help for it

So I showed him the door

 

[tvguy]

None of my business. Which is tough because there are marriages......as an outsider looking in........where I am very concerned that an outsider NEEDS to take action because domestic violence could result otherwise. In one case a couple I know whose marriage is a hot mess did have a friend try and help and the friend ended up being the one assaulted for their trouble. This couple apparently considers their mutual combat to be normal in a marriage.

And their are couples who....as an outsider looking in......appeared to have perfect marriages whose lives have been hot messes since they divorced.

So to OPs point "don't ask why".......they got divorced....OR why they DIDN'T get divorced. JUST.....DON'T........ASK or get involved.

 

[Wendy1985]

Anyone here ended up being friends with their ex is it acceptable

 

[Dan Murphy]

Anyone here ended up being friends with their ex is it acceptable

Well, not an ex here, Wendy. We have # 52 coming up on Monday.

However, we do know couples who have parted ways for various reasons over the past years and several of them are quite good friends. We see them together at various family/friend functions, no animosities, friends. They just go their respective separate ways at the end of the day/evening. Friendly get togethers. They just didn't do well living together.

And yes, very acceptable. No issues.

 

[prairie_girl]

Well, not an ex here, Wendy. We have # 52 coming up on Monday.

However, we do know couples who have parted ways for various reasons over the past years and several of them are quite good friends. We see them together at various family/friend functions, no animosities, friends. They just go their respective separate ways at the end of the day/evening. Friendly get togethers. They just didn't do well living together.

And yes, very acceptable. No issues.

Congratulations on 52 years, Dan. My parents celebrated 50 in January. These days, it’s quite a testament.

 

[tasha99]

My best friend goes on walks with her ex husband, and he still sometimes comes and fixes things around the house. They share "custody" of their two dogs and cooperate really well if the schedule needs to be changed for vacations. They were best friends and married for 30+ years and didn't have an incident that made their separation dramatic (no cheating, abuse, violence etc.) so it makes sense that they could sort of keep a distant friendship going for the sake of their dogs and adult son. I think they miss each other, even though their marriage had been shaky for a while.

 

[disneychrista]

Anyone here ended up being friends with their ex is it acceptable

I have never been married but I do remain friends/friendly with most of the men I have dated. I see no reason why one can not be friends with an ex if both parties want it.

 

[Wendy1985]

Thank you all my ex and I just miss being friends we don’t have romantic feelings towards each other but I hear though my mom that we both miss each other

She thinks it is stupid that we are not friends given that we miss each other

 

[disneychrista]

Thank you all my ex and I just miss being friends we don’t have romantic feelings towards each other but I hear though my mom that we both miss each other

She thinks it is stupid that we are not friends given that we miss each other

The key is do you want to be friends? It is possible to miss someone and have no desire to have any type relationship/friendship. Sometimes it is missing something you wanted with the other person not what you had.

 

[Wendy1985]

The key is do you want to be friends? It is possible to miss someone and have no desire to have any type relationship/friendship. Sometimes it is missing something you wanted with the other person not what you had.

Something to think about

 

[1GoldenSun]

I can understand you missing him, Wendy. But if he was abusive, be careful about trying to establish a friendship with him.

I think we can miss anything that's been part of our lives for a long time, even things that aren't good for us.

 

[Wendy1985]

I can understand you missing him, Wendy. But if he was abusive, be careful about trying to establish a friendship with him.

I think we can miss anything that's been part of our lives for a long time, even things that aren't good for us.

So true

 

[AgentMama]

I think often people miss what is familiar and maybe even comfortable, even if not healthy. I think ex's can 100% be friends, but if there was any power imbalance, or borderline emotional abuse (definitely of outright abuse), you should give yourself time and space to figure out if you're truly missing the other person, or missing what you were used to.

 

[Wendy1985]

I think often people miss what is familiar and maybe even comfortable, even if not healthy. I think ex's can 100% be friends, but if there was any power imbalance, or borderline emotional abuse (definitely of outright abuse), you should give yourself time and space to figure out if you're truly missing the other person, or missing what you were used to.

Even though it has been 4 months already it definitely seems new to me

 

[mikehn]

Google is mixed on this. I've always swiped left on an ex.

 

[AgentMama]

Even though it has been 4 months already it definitely seems new to me

I personally wouldn't think 4 months is enough time.