PSA regrading divorcé update with a question

[QueenIsabella]

Back in the Stone Age when I was in college, I had an ex with a messy break-up. I would say it took 2 years before we could talk again, civilly and rationally. Others may be able to get there quicker, but it does take time--and distance (emotional, not necessarily physical), to get to the point where being friends is a possibility.

Heal yourself from whatever led to the divorce. Find other friends. Lean on family. Whatever it takes. Then, once you're in a good place, re-evaluate if he should be in your life in some capacity. Take as long as you need to do this.

 

[Gracedis1]

I have an ex boyfriend who was emotionally abusive and I have no desire to be friends with him, even though we have mutual friends.

I have other exes that I have stayed friends with because they are good people but we just weren't right for each other.

I would give it time with your ex. You probably miss parts of your life with him because everyone has good qualities. Make sure you are healed and in a good place before you consider it.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Congratulations on choosing to love yourself more than another person.

Sometimes it is very difficult to do what seems so natural to other people. Only you know why you made this choice, outsiders never see the whole picture and when you feel yourself slipping trust that you made the right decision.

That honeymoon period where an abusive person tries to win their victim back is full of promises and not easy to resist, eventually though you will be reminded of why you walked, just wait for it.

 

[RangerPooh]

Anyone here ended up being friends with their ex is it acceptable

I've never been divorced, but one of my aunts has remained very good friends with her ex-husband. While their marriage didn't work, my aunt and her new husband were invited to the ex's wedding. The ex and his wife, and his mom were invited to many family gatherings that my aunt held over the last 30+ years. He even attended my grandparent's memorial services.

Some couples are better as friends than partners. It just might take time to get there. There is no need to rush back into the friendship. Give it time. Also, don't be afraid to put limits on any friendships.

 

[Allison]

Well, one thing to be grateful for is that you weren't legally married. Dealing with the legal issues and dividing property is no joke.

 

[Wendy1985]

Well, one thing to be grateful for is that you weren't legally married. Dealing with the legal issues and dividing property is no joke.

I can’t even imagine the little work I had to do was bad enough

 

[pindecisive]

Anyone here ended up being friends with their ex is it acceptable

I'm text and coffee level friends with one of my exes and we were together about 2 years. No messy breakup, we just wanted different things and he made the call.

There's a few 2-6 month relationship exes I'll say hi to if I see them at an event or randomly in the world.

There's several that got engaged or married and I feel bad for their wives. One in particular it just came out that he drunkenly picked a fight and had to be held back from starting a brawl and then lied about it.

I was like yep, that checks out.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

Anyone here ended up being friends with their ex is it acceptable

I am friends with my ex but only because she is my son's mother. Otherwise we wouldn't be friends. However, we have worked very hard over many years to forge a friendship from a hot mess of a relationship and we see it in how well our son is doing.

Now, my ex-wife? We haven't spoken in almost a decade and I'm perfectly fine with that. The marriage had an ugly ending and we both never want to see each other ever again.

So really, it depends on the couple tbh.