Pregnant women, kids and busses...

[beattyfamily]

Sorry, but if you can't see that was a pretty smug, self-righteous reply then there's no point in even discussing it with you.

Nope, I don't see it. Oh well. I'm still very glad I married a gentleman.

Oh and thanks for calling me smug and self-righteous

 

[mama4]

I'm 38. I don't know which generation I fit in, but I'm one who doesn't want chivalry to die.

beattyfamily,
We were posting at the same time. It appears we have like minds.

for chivalry. I actually do appreciate chivalry as well but realize my last post probably doesn't convey that...I think I actually said earlier I appreciate acts of chivalry or something to that effect. Anyway, I also do my fair share of giving up seats, holding doors, helping with groceries, etc. (and I'm sure most of the other posters do as well) and I do agree our daughters and female students should be taught to be courteous to others by helping out when they can w/ those acts of kindness. Also, after reading her post again, I'm not sure that akelly was trying to convey that it's wrong to teach girls to do these things either???

 

[Brier Rose]

As I said I have girls. I teach them to hold the door for someone coming in behind them. I teach them to give up their seats (well at least my 10 year old; I just have my 6 year old sit on my lap) to older people, pregnant women and a parent holding an infant.

It's polite and it's good manners, IMHO.

But when a man holds a door for a woman and lets her enter first or pulls the seat out for her at a restaurant, or helps her with her coat, or gives her a seat because she's the only woman standing, I find it refreshing and nice to see that chivalry isn't dead and gentlemen still exist.

If that's sexist then I guess I'm sexist too. Luckily, I found a DH who feels the same as I do and who was raised a gentleman.

ITA!!

While I teach both my DD and DS to be polite and courteous always, I will say that my DS is "being schooled" in the old social graces..so to speak.

He knows that there are certain rules that apply when a woman/girl is involved.

 

[beattyfamily]

I'm 38. I don't know which generation I fit in, but I'm one who doesn't want chivalry to die.

beattyfamily,
We were posting at the same time. It appears we have like minds.

Good to know I'm not alone!

 

[beattyfamily]

ITA!!

While I teach both my DD and DS to be polite and courteous always, I will say that my DS is "being schooled" in the old social graces..so to speak.

He knows that there are certain rules that apply when a woman/girl is involved.

Nice to see another like-minded person!

edited to add... This discussion has reminded me of one of my favorite movies; "Kate and Leopold" with Meg Ryan and Hugh Jackman Anyone else love that movie and love Leopold??

 

[Brier Rose]

edited to add... This discussion has reminded me of one of my favorite movies; "Kate and Leopold" with Meg Ryan and Hugh Jackman Anyone else love that movie and love Leopold??

YES!!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I guess my question, is why aren't you encouraging your own daughters to give up their seats, instead of just applauding it when their father does it? Or, why aren't you giving up yours yourself and explaining to your daughters that YOU were being polite and considerate? I guess I don't understand why this expectation of courtesy should extend only to men. Or, are women just somehow less able to stand than men? I'm not trying to flame anyone. I just honestly don't understand this attitude.

I can raise my daughter to be polite while raising her to when she finds a man to expect some chivalry (sp?) from him. There is nothing wrong with having a gentleman for a husband. The last thing I'd expect for her to do is wait on him hand and foot.

Other wise you will have a couple who can't go on their first date as they are stuck in circles saying "after you" "no after you" "no after you".

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Nice to see another like-minded person!

edited to add... This discussion has reminded me of one of my favorite movies; "Kate and Leopold" with Meg Ryan and Hugh Jackman Anyone else love that movie and love Leopold??

Hugh can hold a door open for me anytime!!!!

 

[beattyfamily]

Other wise you will have a couple who can't go on their first date as they are stuck in circles saying "after you" "no after you" "no after you".

That is too funny!

 

[Hannathy]

Watch it Gem you are saying exactly what I was saying right before the whole pregnancy isn't a disability tangent! I will not teach my son to give up a seat just because it is a women. my son and my DD give up seats for elderly and hold doors for all but not just because it is a women. And all you who are teaching their sons to think of women as needing help I hope they don't mind getting their behinds run off on the soccer or ball field since now a days they are equal there!
and at school and work.

 

[Brier Rose]

Watch it Gem you are saying exactly what I was saying right before the whole pregnancy isn't a disability tangent! I will not teach my son to give up a seat just because it is a women. my son and my DD give up seats for elderly and hold doors for all but not just because it is a women. And all you who are teaching their sons to think of women as needing help I hope they don't mind getting their behinds run off on the soccer or ball field since now a days they are equal there!
and at school and work.

It's not about ladies needing help, it about cherishing and respecting them.
I guess that may be old-fashioned and outdated to some.

 

[GEM]

As I said, I will teach my children (regardless of their gender) to give up their seat or do anything else they can possibly do to help someone who needs it.

I, however, won't be teaching my son that he needs to hop up and give a healthy looking woman his seat just because he's a male and she's a female. Evidently, to many, that will remove him from the ranks of "gentleman". Oh well.

And, no, I don't think women should be cherished or respected based solely on their gender. If you'll remember, that "cherished" and "respected" stuff is why many women weren't "allowed" to hold jobs outside the home a few generations or so ago. I think that all people should be respected equally. To me, that means if someone is elderly or sick or carrying a baby you offer them a seat, regardless of your gender or of theirs. Just being born a woman doesn't guarantee you a seat on my bus.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I, however, won't be teaching my son that he needs to hop up and give a healthy looking woman his seat just because he's a male and she's a female. Evidently, to many, that will remove him from the ranks of "gentleman". Oh well.

.

Only if it was his pregnant wife he was refusing to give up his seat for.

So what do you do to prepare your children for dating and courtship?

"Young lady--you hold doors for everyone"

"Young man--dont' do it b/c she's female"

(I am discussing beyond WDW busses)

Any man who holds a door for a woman b/c she is "helpless" and "weak" is a creep. That is not what modern chilvary is about in the least.

 

[GEM]

So what do you do to prepare your children for dating and courtship?

"Young lady--you hold doors for everyone"

"Young man--dont' do it b/c she's female"

(I am discussing beyond WDW busses)

Um, I really don't think we'll be discussing the holding of doors at all as it relates to courtship. Surely, by the time their old enough for "courtship" there will be other, more important, points to cover. I guess they'll just have to muddle through that door thing on their own. Oh well. I honestly don't think the holding (or not holding) of doors had played a major (or even a minor) role in any of my romantic relationships. It's certainly not the main quality I'd advise my daughter to look for in a mate.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I think the chivalry topic once it got into the why are only boys being taught--extended beyond the bus system hence I brought it up.

While I wouldn't look for door holding as the only quality--a man who just doesn't do that at all...could be a red flag to his character.

If you are teaching your children universal good manners--that isn't so much an issue as it would migrate once they pursue relationships. But on the flip side to outright tell a boy not to do something for a girl or woman just b/c she is female--could set up an inadvertant situation--never holding a door for the girl on a date. That's all I am saying.

There is nothing wrong with chivalry as I stated before. If anyone sends the message that women are weak and that is why they should hold doors and give up seats--then they are raising a judgemental young man who may get smacked in the face a few times as that is not chivalry.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

And all you who are teaching their sons to think of women as needing help I hope they don't mind getting their behinds run off on the soccer or ball field since now a days they are equal there!
and at school and work.

I grew up playing ball & have nieces & nephews who play now. One of my nieces was All State & played AAU throughout school. None of the boys were quick to take her on. She decided to forgo a college scholarship to go to school where she wanted, which happened to be close to her boyfriend at the time, who is now her DH. Did that decision make her any weaker. Not in the least. I have a younger niece who is shaping up to be just as good.

As far as boys & girls being equal on the ball field, that is true for awhile. There comes a time, when a boy's physical ability will overtake a girl's. It's just a fact of life. Although my niece was superior to many girls her age, her little brother eventually got to where he could take her one on one on the basketball court. It didn't take him long to be able to hit the ball further than her too. This is simply a matter of genetics. Now that I've taken the time to type this, I really don't know what this has to do with anything.

 

[GEM]

As far as boys & girls being equal on the ball field, that is true for awhile. There comes a time, when a boy's physical ability will overtake a girl's. It's just a fact of life. Although my niece was superior to many girls her age, her little brother eventually got to where he could take her one on one on the basketball court. It didn't take him long to be able to hit the ball further than her too. This is simply a matter of genetics. Now that I've taken the time to type this, I really don't know what this has to do with anything.

That's ok. She'll get the last laugh when she outlives him. That, too, is simply a matter of genetics.

 

[cocodog]

Nevermind

 

[AnaheimGirl]

And, no, I don't think women should be cherished or respected based solely on their gender. If you'll remember, that "cherished" and "respected" stuff is why many women weren't "allowed" to hold jobs outside the home a few generations or so ago. I think that all people should be respected equally. To me, that means if someone is elderly or sick or carrying a baby you offer them a seat, regardless of your gender or of theirs. Just being born a woman doesn't guarantee you a seat on my bus.

Lord, I know I'm going to regret saying this, but you know, in certain Muslim countries, the whole theory behind women not being allowed to work, drive, attend school, speak with men outside their immediate family, leave the house without a burka, etc, is because they are so cherished, respected and in need of protection.

Most of us think they are being oppressed.

Now, I'm not comparing this type of oppression to the simple act of holding a door open for a woman. I have no problem with a man holding the door for me or giving me a seat just because of my gender. I will accept it graciously, in the spirit in which it was intended. I only have girls, but I teach them to give up a seat for anyone who appears to need it more, and hold the door for anyone walking through it at the same time. If I had a boy, I'd teach him the same, but I wouldn't teach him to give up a seat to any and every female merely because of her gender.

 

[Snowysmom]

I always find this thread interesting the many times it has appeared on Disboards. I am one of those very healthy, robust looking women but my right knee is a disaster area from an injury and surgery. I can walk around OK but climbing stairs and standing in one place or on a moving, rollicking bus causes me pain. Also, I could go off balance and land in someone's lap. Not a pretty picture not to mention any injuries they may receive! That being said, my DH and two sons will get up when they see someone who needs a seat such as an elderly person, a pregnant woman, or someone holding a young child. I have stood on buses and held on for dear life but it is difficult for me. People have to do what they are comfortable with. We have waited for the next bus if the current bus is overcrowded and it never seemed to be long wait, at least for us.