Pregnant women, kids and busses...

[pperfectmom]

Yikes! This thread got mean faster than a Poly-poolhopping-reusable-mug-misusing-the-dining-plan-six-people-in-a-value-room-thread ever could!

OMG, that was too funny! I can't believe what a huge debate being polite turned out to be. As for me, count my DH and I among the standing crowd. I would be embarrassed to be sitting with almost anyone else standing. We don't ride busses much at all, but probably will on our WDW vacation. We are both the type to jump up when the bus starts getting crowded. I don't know how it will work with two small kids to keep up with but I imagine we will just stand right in front of where they are sitting.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

To the best of my knowledge, the OP is getting BOD. To reiterate, noone has called the OP a liar, & I don't think anyone thinks she's making things up. I was simply pointing out there could be another explanation. .

There could.

And then their may not.

Are we to believe that everyone is on there most courteous behavior when they are on public transport. That everyone has a more valid reason to have a seat than the person standing. That the person standing just maybe have someone not secretly thinking "sucks to be you".

If not--then we have more perfect people in this world than I give credit for.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I don't know how it will work with two small kids to keep up with but I imagine we will just stand right in front of where they are sitting.

My girls are small and LOVE to stand. So there is hope!

 

[jbdreamer]

Personally I think it is unsafe for ANYONE to be standing on the bus and couldn't believe that this was acceptable.

You must never take public transportation. Standing on the bus is pretty commonly accepted all over the world.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

You must never take public transportation. Standing on the bus is pretty commonly accepted all over the world.

YEP-just stay behind that line though!

 

[GEM]

I had a group of 11 students (theater students of mine) in Disney World for 8 nights earlier this month. They were wonderful and we had an amazing time. We stayed at Pop Century.

We had what I called a "Bus Courtesy Policy" which I discussed with the kids before we ever got to Florida. Our group consisted of boys and girls from 13-16 years old. They knew that if they were seated on a bus and someone was standing who needed that seat more than they did - a pregnant woman, anyone carrying a small child, a very little child who couldn't hang on or stand well, an elderly person, anyone who seemed to have difficulty standing, walking etc. - that I expected whoever was closest to them to offer up their seat. And, the kids did this without fail. Sometimes their offers were accepted, sometimes they weren't. They really went out of their way to be helpful though.

The thing is, I expected this behavior from the girls as well as the boys. It never occurred to me to tell the boys to hop up and give their seat to any girl or woman who happened to squueze onto the bus. Sorry, but to me, simply being a female doesn't make anyone more deserving of a seat. Our girls offered up their seats just as often as the boys. I also remined all of them to go out of their way to be helpful - holding doors for others (regardless of gender), not stepping in front of others at the buffet, etc. I never though to remind the boys to hold doors specifically for women. I just reminded them ALL to be polite and helpful to EVERYONE. Guess I'm raising a bunch of hoodlums . . .

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

. Guess I'm raising a bunch of hoodlums . . .

I don't think so at all. I don't know of the family make up of those who mentioned sons--but isn't there a possibilty that some don't have daughters?

I have two girls and I am teaching them politeness. Can't teach my sons b/c I don't have any.

To assume a young man is doing something nice for a woman just b/c she is a woman--is just as sexist as a man "only" having courtesy for women IMHO.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I'm sorry I had a medical emergency 2 days ago from which I am still recovering. I am DISing to keep my mind off of it and dont' always articulate well. I articulate as clearly as I can. So I hope I can be given the BOD when I say that I didn't intend to insinuate anything about the person I quoted and her son.

I was merely pointing out the irony of BOD of a medical disability to whom the OP was speaking of---and the observation by OP that they were basically laughed at. It would be lower than dirt that IF said observation indeed occurred as observed AND said people had unseen disabilities they would then be the scum of the earth and since when would an unseen disability be carte blanche for rudeness to others about their plight.

I hope I have made that more clear. I thought the parenthesis statement was sufficient that I was not accusing or insinuating that person's son whom I quoted would be guilty of this.

I'm sorry you're not feeling well, & hope you feel better soon.

I'm usually one to champion the underdog, & felt bad for the other mom. It would be tough enough to have a child who wasn't completely healthy. It has to break your heart for the child. It wouldn't have occurred to me that the boy would be anything but polite to others. To single him out as an example made me feel even worse for the mom. I guess we can add this to the list of the many misunderstandings that occur on this board.

I think all of us would agree that it would be pretty low for anyone to act like the OP described. Noone was arguing that. Why automatically assume the worst of others? It is possible that there was another explanation. Several have mentioned being on the buses or at WDW in general & never being laughed at. It's unlikely that this would happen to the same family several times. My post was merely an attempt to share another possiblity for the OP to consider. They may have misunderstood, & all faith in humanity isn't lost. My DH & DS are 2 who do stand. I have health issues, but have been forced to stand quite a few times myself. In that case, my DH & DS practically attach themselves to me to assure I don't fall. We must look pretty ridiculous, but we've never been laughed at. If people are thinking bad things about us, I'm glad they're keeping it to themselves. I refuse to worry about what they may be thinking. Ignorance is bliss! I prefer to think that most people are basically good. This world would be a very sad one otherwise.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Alright, we could debate this til the cows come home. You all just continue to do what ever you think is the right moral choice. I will continue give my seat to anyone I think needs it more than me, without first deciding in my head that person is in a bad position because of thier own poor planning, bad choice of hotel, reluctance to wait for a bus, bad choice of time to leave the park etc. I will continue to not question others choices or senses of entitlement before I am kind to them. I will also continue to stay where my family wants to and take busses not taxis. If my child is asleep and I am struggling to hold a bus strap and there is an obviously able bodied young man (or person) watching me I will continue to excercise my free thought and think that they were raised in a barn, even though I boarded the bus not expecting anyone to automatically give me their seat. I just don't want to debate this anymore, I'm already depressed by the whole thing. Justify your stance anyway you want - I just think it is odd that we are allowed to judge the strugglers who decided to board a bus and decide it is their own fault, but we are not allowed to judge the people sitting on the bus who can easily stand to help a fellow human, but choose not to.

 

[mama4]

I don't think so at all. I don't know of the family make up of those who mentioned sons--but isn't there a possibilty that some don't have daughters?IMHO.

Uhhh, yeah! That would be me. I will have one soon though and she will also be taught to consider others and help them when needed.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Uhhh, yeah! That would be me. I will have one soon though and she will also be taught to consider others and help them when needed.

Me too! I was only blessed with one child & it's a boy.

 

[GEM]

I don't think so at all. I don't know of the family make up of those who mentioned sons--but isn't there a possibilty that some don't have daughters?

I have two girls and I am teaching them politeness. Can't teach my sons b/c I don't have any.

To assume a young man is doing something nice for a woman just b/c she is a woman--is just as sexist as a man "only" having courtesy for women IMHO.

I understand that, but there were several posts specifying that men or young men should always offer seats, hold doors, etc. for women (specifically). To me, I expect the same behavior from my female students as my male students. I expect them all to be courteous, polite, helpful, etc. to everyone - regardless of gender. In my opinion, to expect a man to offer a seat, etc. just because he is a man is where things get sexist and wrong. For instance, this post rubbed me the wrong way -

Whenever we have a young man hold a door for us, see one give up a seat to someone who needs it, etc. I say to my daughters, "That's a quality you want to look for when deciding who to date. I'm also always sure to remind my daughters of why their father is always quick to give up his seat on the WDW bus - he is polite and considerate. Again, a great character trait to look for in a future husband.

I guess my question, is why aren't you encouraging your own daughters to give up their seats, instead of just applauding it when their father does it? Or, why aren't you giving up yours yourself and explaining to your daughters that YOU were being polite and considerate? I guess I don't understand why this expectation of courtesy should extend only to men. Or, are women just somehow less able to stand than men? I'm not trying to flame anyone. I just honestly don't understand this attitude.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I guess my question, is why aren't you encouraging your own daughters to give up their seats, instead of just applauding it when their father does it? Or, why aren't you giving up yours yourself and explaining to your daughters that YOU were being polite and considerate? I guess I don't understand why this expectation of courtesy should extend only to men. Or, are women just somehow less able to stand than men? I'm not trying to flame anyone. I just honestly don't understand this attitude.

I guess some of us are old fashioned & don't see this type of behavior as being sexist. If it is, then I suppose I just don't have a problem with sexism.

 

[mama4]

I guess my question, is why aren't you encouraging your own daughters to give up their seats, instead of just applauding it when their father does it? Or, why aren't you giving up yours yourself and explaining to your daughters that YOU were being polite and considerate? I guess I don't understand why this expectation of courtesy should extend only to men. Or, are women just somehow less able to stand than men? I'm not trying to flame anyone. I just honestly don't understand this attitude.

I don't agree w/ that way of thinking either but maybe some folks from an earlier generation would?? I don't know about the poster you quoted but my dmother is 57 and would definitely agree with this old fashioned way of thinking. There isn't anything wrong with it, it's just the way she was raised. Or maybe the poster just lives in a place with old fashioned values- I don't know. But we can't all have the same experiences and interpretations of the way things should be- we are all so very different and I try to recognize and appreciate that.

 

[beattyfamily]

As I said I have girls. I teach them to hold the door for someone coming in behind them. I teach them to give up their seats (well at least my 10 year old; I just have my 6 year old sit on my lap) to older people, pregnant women and a parent holding an infant.

It's polite and it's good manners, IMHO.

But when a man holds a door for a woman and lets her enter first or pulls the seat out for her at a restaurant, or helps her with her coat, or gives her a seat because she's the only woman standing, I find it refreshing and nice to see that chivalry isn't dead and gentlemen still exist.

If that's sexist then I guess I'm sexist too. Luckily, I found a DH who feels the same as I do and who was raised a gentleman.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I don't agree w/ that way of thinking either but maybe some folks from an earlier generation would?? I don't know about the poster you quoted but my dmother is 57 and would definitely agree with this old fashioned way of thinking. There isn't anything wrong with it, it's just the way she was raised. Or maybe the poster just lives in a place with old fashioned values- I don't know. But we can't all have the same experiences and interpretations of the way things should be- we are all so very different and I try to recognize and appreciate that.

I'm 38. I don't know which generation I fit in, but I'm one who doesn't want chivalry to die.

beattyfamily,
We were posting at the same time. It appears we have like minds.

 

[GEM]

Luckily, I found a DH who feels the same as I do and who was raised a gentleman.

And, as I said before, I guess the rest of us are raising hoodlums who would be quick to give up their seats to the elderly, frail, those carrying babies - but not necessarily able bodied women based solely on their gender. . . That kind of attitude is why these threads always go south so fast. Some of resent the suggestion that our husbands or sons aren't gentlemen because they wouldn't offer up a seat to anyone standing near them who happened to be born a female.

 

[beattyfamily]

And, as I said before, I guess the rest of us are raising hoodlums who would be quick to give up their seats to the elderly, frail, those carrying babies - but not necessarily able bodied women based solely on their gender. . . That kind of attitude is why these threads always go south so fast.

I see nothing wrong with the fact that I think my DH is a gentleman. Sorry you take offense to that and think my opinion or 'attitude' will make this thread go south fast. I'm just voicing my opinion. You can ignore it if it really bothers you so much.

 

[noodleknitter]

I don't agree w/ that way of thinking either but maybe some folks from an earlier generation would?? I don't know about the poster you quoted but my dmother is 57 and would definitely agree with this old fashioned way of thinking. There isn't anything wrong with it, it's just the way she was raised. Or maybe the poster just lives in a place with old fashioned values- I don't know. But we can't all have the same experiences and interpretations of the way things should be- we are all so very different and I try to recognize and appreciate that.

So true. We are always so quick to jump on the bandwagon re. other cultures and acceptance and tolerance. At least until someone mentions speedos...

I expect all of my children to all be kind and considerate. I expect my son's to treat the women that are special to them as special people.

 

[GEM]

Luckily, I found a DH who feels the same as I do and who was raised a gentleman.

Sorry, but if you can't see that was a pretty smug, self-righteous reply then there's no point in even discussing it with you.