'Pregnant' man stuns medical profession

[NYBlue1]

Well if you were GLBT you would know that finding a OB or doc even that is friendly to GLBT persons is very important. There are many awesome doctors and hospitals that are , just takes a little research.

My partner had triplets and we investigated reproductive specialist, OBs as well as perinatoligists that were gay friendly and a NICU/Hospital that was as well.

During such a joyous event , why be stuck with doctors and staff that would make you feel like a second class citizen?

The first question I ask any doc im going to is , are you comfortable treating GLBT patients, you can tell by the answer and how the staff treats you the truth. Has not failed me yet. Im not sure why this is so funny to you

This was posted by me , sorry,on my partners computer , forgot she was signed in already

 

[StrollPatrolMom]

I think what was trying to be presented was the idea that doctors can refuse treatment if it goes against their religious beliefs. However what was left out was much of the article about how many doctors refused and what one of the said. None of it had anything to do with religion.

actually, yes the pregnant person said in the article many doctors turned them away due to their religious beliefs...


I think thats a legitimate reason and should not be considered discrimination

 

[NYBlue1]

actually, yes the pregnant person said in the article many doctors turned them away due to their religious beliefs...


I think thats a legitimate reason and should not be considered discrimination

IMO they have no business being a healer if there religion is going to interfere, some professions just cant have prejudice enter into them

 

[TinkerbellMama]

Well if you were GLBT you would know that finding a OB or doc even that is friendly to GLBT persons is very important. There are many awesome doctors and hospitals that are , just takes a little research.

My partner had triplets and we investigated reproductive specialist, OBs as well as perinatoligists that were gay friendly and a NICU/Hospital that was as well.

During such a joyous event , why be stuck with doctors and staff that would make you feel like a second class citizen?

The first question I ask any doc im going to is , are you comfortable treating GLBT patients, you can tell by the answer and how the staff treats you the truth. Has not failed me yet. Im not sure why this is so funny to you

You misunderstood me. What's "funny" to me is the idea that GLBT patients need to worry about whether their health care providers are bigots more than the quality of their medical care. And I wouldn't really use the word "funny"...I'd say it downright pisses me off. Yes, obviously trying to find someone understanding and personable and comfortable with the whole situation would be ideal. But it should NOT come at the expense of quality care, and is a luxury some people cannot afford. I am just irritated at the insinuation (by another poster) that GLBT persons should not have the health of their children as their UTMOST priority...the same as anyone else. Yes, *I* have the luxury to shop around and find a doctor who (mostly) shares my belief system and healthcare philosophy, and who will have no comment on my private life nor pass judgment on my family. Not everyone has that luxury, and it literally sickens me.

 

[PghLybrt]

actually, yes the pregnant person said in the article many doctors turned them away due to their religious beliefs...


I think thats a legitimate reason and should not be considered discrimination

I know what was written. I read it when i got it in my mailbox a few weeks ago.

My point was that is not the only reason that the couple was turned away.
They saw many drs and if you read my previous post on that, one took their money and then dismissed them because he was uncomfortable. No mention of religion.

 

[NYBlue1]

You misunderstood me. What's "funny" to me is the idea that GLBT patients need to worry about whether their health care providers are bigots more than the quality of their medical care. And I wouldn't really use the word "funny"...I'd say it downright pisses me off. Yes, obviously trying to find someone understanding and personable and comfortable with the whole situation would be ideal. But it should NOT come at the expense of quality care, and is a luxury some people cannot afford. I am just irritated at the insinuation (by another poster) that GLBT persons should not have the health of their children as their UTMOST priority...the same as anyone else. Yes, *I* have the luxury to shop around and find a doctor who (mostly) shares my belief system and healthcare philosophy, and who will have no comment on my private life nor pass judgment on my family. Not everyone has that luxury, and it literally sickens me.

I got you now

It is sad isnt it, but trust me there are lots of great Docs out there that have no prejudice toward anybody and even go as far to insist there office staff does not as well. They are pretty easy to find, then again we live in NY.

 

[NYBlue1]

actually, yes the pregnant person said in the article many doctors turned them away due to their religious beliefs...


I think thats a legitimate reason and should not be considered discrimination

You can put as much lipstick on that frog as you want its still the ugly frog of discrimination.

 

[Mr Man]

You can put as much lipstick on that frog as you want its still the ugly frog of discrimination.

Do I think homosexuals are discriminated against in our society? Absolutely. They are a small, yet highly visible group of our population who are "swimming against the tide" as it were. I expect the level of discrimination is much less here in the USA than in say some terrible place like the Sudan though ( I know, unfair comparison- ethno-centric comment) hehe.

Having said this, do you believe that someone who is opposed to homosexuality on moral principle (off topic but is this an ok term nowadays or is LGBT preferred and if so, why? just curious and not looking to offend ) is automatically a bigot? Where is the line drawn nowadays? Does sexual preference trump religious preference or is this an unfair comparison?

Me personally, I don't think that one is any more relevant than the other, except that both preferences seem to define who a person is more than most preferences. And most importantly, they are mutually exclusive in much of our society.

In practical terms, I think the challenge in all of this (by which I mean the Community Board in general) is to keep the "quick to offend" away from the "easily offended"...... unfortunately, this is impossible......

I am asking you these sincere questions as we have traded posts before. I have always enjoyed the banter and am genuinely curious.

Regards,

 

[KatheeME]

While it's unconventional, I don't see the big deal. They are a couple, they want children, good for them.

Kathee

 

[NYBlue1]

Do I think homosexuals are discriminated against in our society? Absolutely. They are a small, yet highly visible group of our population who are "swimming against the tide" as it were. I expect the level of discrimination is much less here in the USA than in say some terrible place like the Sudan though ( I know, unfair comparison- ethno-centric comment) hehe.

Having said this, do you believe that someone who is opposed to homosexuality on moral principle (off topic but is this an ok term nowadays or is LGBT preferred and if so, why? just curious and not looking to offend ) is automatically a bigot? Where is the line drawn nowadays? Does sexual preference trump religious preference or is this an unfair comparison?

Me personally, I don't think that one is any more relevant than the other, except that both preferences seem to define who a person is more than most preferences. And most importantly, they are mutually exclusive in much of our society.

In practical terms, I think the challenge in all of this (by which I mean the Community Board in general) is to keep the "quick to offend" away from the "easily offended"...... unfortunately, this is impossible......

I am asking you these sincere questions as we have traded posts before. I have always enjoyed the banter and am genuinely curious.

Regards,

I know you are sincere and I'm always happy to try to have people understand those different from themselves , I think its awesome that you want to know!

The GLBT term is an all inclusive term, since thread was originally about a transgendered person that quickly evolved into a gay and lesbian also thread its just a quick way to be inclusive of everyone in the homosexual and transgendered community.

I don't consider being GLBT a preference, I consider it the way one is born, its not a lifestyle , its not a preference its what you are. Its the same way one is born heterosexual. I could go on and on but that is going way off topic and certainly a whole new thread in itself .

I really believe that where you live in the country dictates the amount of discrimination one runs into, in NY , in this day and age, I am taken back then discriminated against, I don't expect it anymore, thats a good thing, but is still alive and well! The further away from NYC you get the more you can expect to run into it.

I don't believe that health care professionals should discriminate against anybody for any reason, you are a healer , I believe in your Hippocratic oath you are agreeing to heal all people, not just the ones that fit into your personal idea of religion and preference. I wish I could be sure of that, but I'm not.

I don't see how being a kind person or just a plain decent human being would make you refuse medical care or any service to a GLBT person, or how doing so would be any harm to your religious beliefs.

Ill give you a case in point, at my job I was asking for health care benefits for my partner, my union shop steward is a born again Christian. He fought for me with all his might and we did get the benefits. The members of his church tryed to stop him, they made it uncomfortable to be in his church, his religion , is his life!

His comment to me was, I am your shop Steward, my job is to look out for your best interest, my religious beliefs and what I think of your situation have nothing to do with me doing what I agreed to do, take care of ALL the members of the union.

Its a shame all people cant think that way, sadly they don't, and I think it makes them judgmental, and bigots. Just one persons opinion of course.

Any other questions fire away Mr Man, happy to answer to the best of my ability always, and always enjoy a good back and forth!

 

[KatheeME]

Ok, I see your point, and honestly, I don't think there is anything wrong with what you're doing. This person IS a man, he is legally a man. You can't claim to be a man, then want to be a woman so you can have a baby. There should be no flip flopping when it comes to gender. How did this "man" get to be a legal man anyway?
You are your partner are both woman, I'm assuming, so that is completely different. Don't be so sensitive. You and your partner having a baby is completely different from what we are talking about.

A little harsh aren't we? Who says what this person has a right to be and to do with his body?

Kathee

 

[KatheeME]

In a perfect world, no it wouldn't be. We aren't there yet (or if ever). But this affects a lot of people in other ways. It affects businesses, insurance, laws, etc. It's not just a case of "MYOB".

It only affects the things you mention because we DON'T mind our business in this country.

Kathee

 

[Charade]

I was waiting for someone to bring that one up. Still would like the clarification from Charade on it.

.

I already answered that.

 

[Charade]

We need to quit teaching about 'gender' and 'sexuality' as if they are definitive boxes e.g. male OR female; gay OR straight.

Why? Where? In school?

 

[MrsKreamer]

I think this is a far better situation then either of these people keeping themselves in the closest until their kids are grown or teens. At least this man and woman know who they are, what they want and are willing to go for it.

This child is lucky to be born to two loving parents that are confident and stable.

Here's hoping that father, mother, and child are all doing well, and continue to do so.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I got you now

It is sad isnt it, but trust me there are lots of great Docs out there that have no prejudice toward anybody and even go as far to insist there office staff does not as well. They are pretty easy to find, then again we live in NY.

Yes, I agree 100%. NYC, SF, and a few other major metro areas...piece of cake. Rural America, not so much. This isn't a commentary on anything other than the fact that open-minded individuals (including those doctors who are GLBT themselves) tend to flock to these cities, where they can experience as much of a sense of normalcy as you now do.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I got through about half of the replies...I'll work on the other half tomorrow.

What I see are two people who very much desire to have a baby. These people have thought through their options and have gone this route. Sounds to me like they will be loving parents, which is really the most important thing to consider when having a child. Not sure why anyone is judging them based on the gender that one of them was born. Yeah, this situation isn't common, but as long as they strive to be loving, caring parents, they are ahead of many people who have children.

 

[SandraVB79]

So if I need to have a complete hysterectomy, for whatever reason, I am no longer a woman???

So because I don't have ovaries or a uterus and am incapable of giving birth (due to cancer), I don't get to be female anymore? I wish you had been around to explain that to me years ago...

OK, some people have quoted my question and Charade's response and replied something like this above.

For the record: I don't think that if you don't have a uterus/ ovaries/ breasts anymore, that you're not a woman anymore.
That was just the point I was trying to make: it's not because you don't have these organs anymore, that therefore you change gender. It's also not because you HAVE them that you are one gender or another. It is not as black-and-white as that.

But how were the eggs effected by all those male hormones?

How are my eggs affected by BC pills I have been taking many years?
How are other women's eggs affected by their smoking/ drinking/ drugs/ living unhelthy/ eating only fastfood/ having had anorexia/ <insert another thing here>?
Is it our business to question every woman that ha staken medicine, or has smoked or drinks alcohol or lives unhealthy about whether it is right she has children? If we don't question other people's decision about having children or not, why should we question it here?

 

[SandraVB79]

You can flame me all day for this but, I feel so bad for this child, this child is going to be teased rentless for the choices that his/her parents have made

Not necessarily. If other than that one article and being mentioned on some shows, they don't go out in public, and stay discrete, it's very possible the child and no one in school will know that the father gave birth to the child.
I am surely not going to google names of the children and their parents whenever my future children will go to school, to see whether there is something juicy about them.

I didn't say anything about "feelings" we have the free exercise of religion in this country...here's a quote from the article

""Doctors have discriminated against us, turning us away due to their religious beliefs. "

how is the free exercise of your religion discrimination?

as I said before, we have to respect EVERYONE's lifestyle, even the ones we do not agree with (in this case religious people)

I don't think doctors should let their religion be dominant over their duty of healing/ threating people.
In this case, if they didn't want to help this couple, they could have said so in the beginning, and not after some months and many dollars.

Do I think homosexuals are discriminated against in our society? Absolutely. They are a small, yet highly visible group of our population who are "swimming against the tide" as it were. I expect the level of discrimination is much less here in the USA than in say some terrible place like the Sudan though ( I know, unfair comparison- ethno-centric comment) hehe.

I don't think it's fait to compare the US or any Western country with non-Western countries in this case. Compared to AFrica, EVERYONE in the US/ Europe is very very wealthy! That doesn't mean that there are no poor people in the US/ Europe, everything is relative.

As a matter of fact, I think of the Western countries, the US is very discriminating towards gay people. For this reason, my brother, who is gay, is still not sure whether he will accompany us on our next vacation or not.

 

[poohandwendy]

That was just the point I was trying to make: it's not because you don't have these organs anymore, that therefore you change gender. It's also not because you HAVE them that you are one gender or another. It is not as black-and-white as that.

??? So, what is the criteria to determine gender, then? Do you classify your children's gender or do you just say 'unspecified'?