Poll: Party Dress Etiquette

[jrmasm]

I think you should just be happy if this kids show up. A few people not in costume are not going to ruin the party.

 

[Jennasis]

Any suggestions for props that I should have on hand for those that want to join in the theming for a 50's party?

How about a neck scarf for the ladies to tie around their necks? Maybe some of those cheap black combs for the guys (to tuck behind the ear)? Boxes of candy cigarettes to roll into their sleeves?

 

[Nancyg56]

As another poster stated, this is an opportunity for teaching our children appropriate social interaction. I did not at any point state that I was asking opinions on how to respond to my SIL or what should I do about this situation. I was asking, as the poll states, how others respond to these types of invitations.

I must be feeling contrary today.

I find that this is an opportunity to be a graceful hostess and welcome my family even if they choose not to dress in theme. Teens and Tweens are seldom comfortable in their own skin so a costume might be really tough for them. I would prefer to be gracious.

My DH hates theme things so if he was required to wear a costume he would bow out. If I was not comfortable with the theme I would have just attended. I never would have suspected that my lack of costume would offend my family. If I was not welcome without a costume I guess I would stay home.

 

[onelilspark]

I chose something else. If an inviation states a certian type of dress, I wear it. I don't really care, there's not even a "if I don't want to I'll do it anyway." I'll comply.

I draw the line at white trash and hooker themes, but you know, that's a matter of taste.

 

[johnsontrio]

The question that your poll asked and your actual issue are completely different.

Your poll asked what we would do if we were invited to the party. Personally, I would either dress as requested or not go to the party. You then clarified that it was a 'theme' party. In this case, I would just blow off the party.

Your actual issue is how we would handle it if we were putting on a theme party and some guests didn't want to dress the way we want them to. In this case, I wouldn't do anything. They would still be welcome to come to the party. (I guess that they would be dressed as time travelers who went back to the fifties ala Back To The Future.)

I guess this is why I have the impression that you are trying to make this about something other than how do you respond to an invitation. The responses are along the lines of what I expected. A few people feel free to come in whatever they would like to wear, but for the most part, people that don't want to participate, decline the invitation.

There was no question on how to handle this situation.

How about a neck scarf for the ladies to tie around their necks? Maybe some of those cheap black combs for the guys (to tuck behind the ear)? Boxes of candy cigarettes to roll into their sleeves?

I appreciate the suggestions. I have already gotten tons of 50's retro candy for the cake table with bags to be packed and taken home. I also have ducks from Oriental Trading that look like Sandy and Danny from Grease for each person. Each person will also have candy bars with the birthday girls' baby picture on the wrapper to take home. The centerpieces have assorted pink and white salt water taffy that the guests can take home as well.

Maybe I should have ordered this stuff earlier? I am sort of torn about it now, because if you are supplying those things for the people that really didn't want to participate in the theme, isn't that kind of strong-arming them, once they are there, to comply with the theme?

I was thinking about this. The analogy I come up with is, the difference in attending a theme party with a Western theme vs. attending a party where the theme is western and the entertainment is a square dance. The fact that this is a sock hop is clearly central to the invitation. Are these people really going to have fun at a 50's sock hop with all the dancing and music from the 50's, if they don't even want to be bothered with jeans and a white t-shirt?

As far as the kids go, they won't be going anywhere before or after, and maybe they aren't happy to go to any family event, I can't really say... I know my DD 15 is excited and ready to do the hand jive with her older girl cousins to lead off the dancing...

My DH's twin sisters have always been the type to enjoy a party and I know they will have a blast and that is what is important.

 

[johnsontrio]

I must be feeling contrary today.

I find that this is an opportunity to be a graceful hostess and welcome my family even if they choose not to dress in theme. Teens and Tweens are seldom comfortable in their own skin so a costume might be really tough for them. I would prefer to be gracious.

My DH hates theme things so if he was required to wear a costume he would bow out. If I was not comfortable with the theme I would have just attended. I never would have suspected that my lack of costume would offend my family. If I was not welcome without a costume I guess I would stay home.

Of course, everyone that was invited is welcome, no matter what they wear. Everyone keeps focusing on this as if the hostess is going to say anything to those not in costume. Are you kidding? It's my SIL's job to raise her children, not mine. I will be nothing but all smiles no matter what they wear. However, I would not allow my DD to make the same choice. I would tell her she could stay home if she didn't want to participate...but, that's why I'm the mean Mom.

 

[Scurvy]

How about a neck scarf for the ladies to tie around their necks? Maybe some of those cheap black combs for the guys (to tuck behind the ear)? Boxes of candy cigarettes to roll into their sleeves?

I think these are great ideas! I don't even know if they make such things, but fake cats-eye glasses for girls or thick black glasses for guys might also work. There might be fifties themed party favors at party supplie stores - necklaces or something that would fit the theme. I know there are lots of websites with suggestions for theme parties. I've never noticed if they have ideas for 50s themed parties but they might.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Any suggestions for props that I should have on hand for those that want to join in the theming for a 50's party?

Hula hoops!

 

[okeydokey]

What would the honorees think if they looked around and didn't see the nieces and nephews and were told they didn't come because they didn't feel comfortable in the costume? I personally would think it more important that everyone was there than that the people who showed up all matched in costume, but that's me.

 

[johnsontrio]

What would the honorees think if they looked around and didn't see the nieces and nephews and were told they didn't come because they didn't feel comfortable in the costume? I personally would think it more important that everyone was there than that the people who showed up all matched in costume, but that's me.

Don't think that will happen.. These kids all dress appropriately for weddings, first communions, pool parties, ski trips, etc...they know the drill.. This is the first time that this has ever come up.

I know for my DD, if she had such a problem with donning an outfit for a sock hop, I would be sure to remember that on October 31st. I know DD has at least 5 days during Spirit Week at her school that she manages to dress theme appropriate. I know it can be done. That said, they are all welcome in whatever they choose to wear...

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Any suggestions for props that I should have on hand for those that want to join in the theming for a 50's party?

Cat eye and Ray Ban style glasses!

http://party411.makesparties.com/Ca...CategoryID=823&intDisplayableProductID=119633

I don't think it's strong-arming anyone to have these or scarves, combs, etc, available. Some people will love them and put them on, whether or not they already dressed up. Others won't. Just one more fun thing to have, though.