Poll: Party Dress Etiquette

[Handbag Lady]

Oh, and I just read the theme!




CAN I GO?? I have a closet full of 1950's dresses and handbags. I'll bring nice gifts, too!

 

[kidzmom3]

if I was a friend, I would decline because I really hate costumes. Even the 50's theme is still a costume. And, I don't think it would be as cheap as you think to put together a costume if you don't have any of those items in your closet. But, I would just choose to decline the invite.

If I was family. I guess I would go and participate, but honestly, I would hate it. I would put on my happy family face, but on the inside.

 

[aprilgail2]

I would just decline and stay home- I HATE costume type parties- even if its just a 50's theme.

 

[BelleWDW]

That is a cute idea!

 

[emma'smom]

Personally, I would get dressed up and I don't think it is hard to throw on some capris and a t-shirt. However, as a host, I don't think I would really worry about those folks who don't want to dress up and maybe think of a party favor that could be worn to give everyone a little "50's style" flair. Not sure what for a 50's theme...but, just as an example, if it were a luau I might give out leis (you get the idea)...so even if they wore a polyester pant suit, they would still be able to get into the theme easily.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I'd do it

My friend had an 80s party a couple yrs ago... I was a few months pregnant with my son, so it wasn't easy coming up with something... but, I even got my boyfriend to play the part. He popped his collar, peg rolled his pants and put on his loafer shoes. I had the blue eye shadow, peg legged pants, long striped shirt with a big white belt and a side ponytail. We were rad.

 

[Lucky4me]

They're kids. Kids can be pains when it comes to this kind of stuff, especially teenagers and the younger ones are probably just going with what the 17 yo said.
I'd ask your DH's sister if she could have them at least wear white T-s and straight leg jeans. Every kid already owns those two things. If not, she can pick up a pack of Hanes for $5 at Walmart. If she balks, oh well, let them wear what they want. It really won't impact the rest of the party and I wouldn't give it another thought.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm not a fan of costume parties, but this is an easy theme. It was even used a few times for my kids elementary school musicales, because it's so easy to throw together with what you have.

 

[rie'smom]

if I was a friend, I would decline because I really hate costumes. Even the 50's theme is still a costume. And, I don't think it would be as cheap as you think to put together a costume if you don't have any of those items in your closet. But, I would just choose to decline the invite.

If I was family. I guess I would go and participate, but honestly, I would hate it. I would put on my happy family face, but on the inside.

Jeans or capris with a white tshirt or the same pants with a button down rolled to the waist and tied- what's hard about that?

 

[Nancyg56]

I am probably in the minority but if I was hosting a theme party and some of my guests preferred not to dress the theme I would not worry about it. I enjoy this kind of thing but understand that not everyone is comfortable dressing up, either in costume or in formal dress.

 

[okeydokey]

A black tie wedding I would certainly wear the required dress. A themed party, I would because I enjoy that sort of thing but I would not expect everyone else to dress like the theme if they didn't want to. We recently attended a luau and most people wore hawaiin shirts etc but nobody was mad at the people who didn't. We certainly didn't want them to leave because they were not in flowered shirts.

 

[Bren's Mom]

I think when you host a party and invite guests you should go out of your way to make your guests comfortable. To be angry that they don't want to participate in dressing up in a certain costume doesn't seem right. Yes, they're party poopers...but they're not going to ruin the party. Dressing '50s' IS different from a black tie event or a party like a pp mentioned where people were asked to dress in black and/or white. The latter types aren't generally going to make people feel self-conscious. The former might, just like any theme or costume. Really, I would just let it go.

 

[Scurvy]

In my opinion, themed parties are a little bit different than "black tie" events and the like. I feel it would be a faux pas to attend a formal event while dressed casually, but I don't feel that way about a themed party. Typically I think most people feel that the theme of a costume party is more of a suggestion than a requirement. Even though I enjoy wearing costumes for things like that, I would find it very off-putting if I thought my host would prefer I not attend at all rather than attend wearing the wrong thing.

If I didn't want to (or couldn't) adhere to the dress code for a costume party I would probably decline since I would hate to be the only one not in costume. However, I know many people who don't feel that way. I have friends who have showed up at a themed party without dressing to the theme. I can't imagine turning away an invited guest because they didn't follow your dress code. In my experience, good hosts of themed parties tend to have some "props" on hand for their guests that go with the theme. . . a basket of leis and grass skirts at a Luau party, masks for a Mardi Gras or Masquerade party, a bag of eyepatches or bandanas at a Pirate party, etc. They wouldn't expect their guests to go out and purchase a costume specifically for their event but they do make things available so that the guests can join in the theming if they so choose.

In a case when the theming is really important, like the Black and White party mentioned earlier, I think the host really needs to let people know why the theme is important (or at least that they would prefer no one attend if they aren't willing to abide by the dress code of the event) so the guests don't feel bad about "ruining" the event by showing up wearing a color. I do think that it's rude to insist on attending a costume party in normal clothes if your host has made it clear that the theme is an actual dress code rather than just a suggestion. But I don't think that is the norm for parties like that so most guests probably wouldn't realize it unless their host made it clear to them.

 

[sbell111]

The question that your poll asked and your actual issue are completely different.

Your poll asked what we would do if we were invited to the party. Personally, I would either dress as requested or not go to the party. You then clarified that it was a 'theme' party. In this case, I would just blow off the party.

Your actual issue is how we would handle it if we were putting on a theme party and some guests didn't want to dress the way we want them to. In this case, I wouldn't do anything. They would still be welcome to come to the party. (I guess that they would be dressed as time travelers who went back to the fifties ala Back To The Future.)

 

[shortbun]

I picked that I would attend the event in the required attire; however, I really have two answers.

If it is an event I really want to go to, I will comply with the dress code.

If I don't overly care for the event, I may not feel it is worth it to spring for the fancy clothes, so I will decline.

Good answer, can I steal it?

 

[johnsontrio]

The question that your poll asked and your actual issue are completely different.

Your poll asked what we would do if we were invited to the party. Personally, I would either dress as requested or not go to the party. You then clarified that it was a 'theme' party. In this case, I would just blow off the party.

Your actual issue is how we would handle it if we were putting on a theme party and some guests didn't want to dress the way we want them to. In this case, I wouldn't do anything. They would still be welcome to come to the party. (I guess that they would be dressed as time travelers who went back to the fifties ala Back To The Future.)

I think you might need to reread my explanation. No where did I discuss my reaction to my SIL's comments other than telling my DD that I expected her when responding to an invitation to honor the attire request or turn down the invitation.

As another poster stated, this is an opportunity for teaching our children appropriate social interaction. I did not at any point state that I was asking opinions on how to respond to my SIL or what should I do about this situation. I was asking, as the poll states, how others respond to these types of invitations.

Trust me, no one here dislikes Halloween as much as I do. However, when I attend Halloween events, I do so in a costume, if the event requests them. I am in no way going to ask anyone not to attend or even have a discussion with my SIL regarding this. I just can't understand why a person that doesn't want to participate in an event such as this would even bother to come. I turn down plenty of invitations to events that I think I will not enjoy. Likewise, I would not accept an invitation to attend the symphony with my Mother and show up wearing shorts and tennis shoes.

 

[ChrizJen]

I'd just as soon decline the invitation.
If they ask me to wear something I don't want to wear, I would never show up in something else. I just wouldn't go.

 

[johnsontrio]

In my opinion, themed parties are a little bit different than "black tie" events and the like. I feel it would be a faux pas to attend a formal event while dressed casually, but I don't feel that way about a themed party. Typically I think most people feel that the theme of a costume party is more of a suggestion than a requirement. Even though I enjoy wearing costumes for things like that, I would find it very off-putting if I thought my host would prefer I not attend at all rather than attend wearing the wrong thing.

If I didn't want to (or couldn't) adhere to the dress code for a costume party I would probably decline since I would hate to be the only one not in costume. However, I know many people who don't feel that way. I have friends who have showed up at a themed party without dressing to the theme. I can't imagine turning away an invited guest because they didn't follow your dress code. In my experience, good hosts of themed parties tend to have some "props" on hand for their guests that go with the theme. . . a basket of leis and grass skirts at a Luau party, masks for a Mardi Gras or Masquerade party, a bag of eyepatches or bandanas at a Pirate party, etc. They wouldn't expect their guests to go out and purchase a costume specifically for their event but they do make things available so that the guests can join in the theming if they so choose.

In a case when the theming is really important, like the Black and White party mentioned earlier, I think the host really needs to let people know why the theme is important (or at least that they would prefer no one attend if they aren't willing to abide by the dress code of the event) so the guests don't feel bad about "ruining" the event by showing up wearing a color. I do think that it's rude to insist on attending a costume party in normal clothes if your host has made it clear that the theme is an actual dress code rather than just a suggestion. But I don't think that is the norm for parties like that so most guests probably wouldn't realize it unless their host made it clear to them.

Any suggestions for props that I should have on hand for those that want to join in the theming for a 50's party?

 

[sbell111]

The question that your poll asked and your actual issue are completely different.

Your poll asked what we would do if we were invited to the party. Personally, I would either dress as requested or not go to the party. You then clarified that it was a 'theme' party. In this case, I would just blow off the party.

Your actual issue is how we would handle it if we were putting on a theme party and some guests didn't want to dress the way we want them to. In this case, I wouldn't do anything. They would still be welcome to come to the party. (I guess that they would be dressed as time travelers who went back to the fifties ala Back To The Future.)

I think you might need to reread my explanation. No where did I discuss my reaction to my SIL's comments other than telling my DD that I expected her when responding to an invitation to honor the attire request or turn down the invitation.

As another poster stated, this is an opportunity for teaching our children appropriate social interaction. I did not at any point state that I was asking opinions on how to respond to my SIL or what should I do about this situation. I was asking, as the poll states, how others respond to these types of invitations.

Trust me, no one here dislikes Halloween as much as I do. However, when I attend Halloween events, I do so in a costume, if the event requests them. I am in no way going to ask anyone not to attend or even have a discussion with my SIL regarding this. I just can't understand why a person that doesn't want to participate in an event such as this would even bother to come. I turn down plenty of invitations to events that I think I will not enjoy. Likewise, I would not accept an invitation to attend the symphony with my Mother and show up wearing shorts and tennis shoes.

I fail to see how your post relates to mine.

You requested opinions. I gave one.

 

[RadioNate]

I think you might need to reread my explanation. No where did I discuss my reaction to my SIL's comments other than telling my DD that I expected her when responding to an invitation to honor the attire request or turn down the invitation.

As another poster stated, this is an opportunity for teaching our children appropriate social interaction. I did not at any point state that I was asking opinions on how to respond to my SIL or what should I do about this situation. I was asking, as the poll states, how others respond to these types of invitations.

Trust me, no one here dislikes Halloween as much as I do. However, when I attend Halloween events, I do so in a costume, if the event requests them. I am in no way going to ask anyone not to attend or even have a discussion with my SIL regarding this. I just can't understand why a person that doesn't want to participate in an event such as this would even bother to come. I turn down plenty of invitations to events that I think I will not enjoy. Likewise, I would not accept an invitation to attend the symphony with my Mother and show up wearing shorts and tennis shoes.

I agree and disagree. I really just don't think obeying "suggested dress" for a theme party is that big of a deal. It just doesn't seem to be a make or break thing to me. I have a feeling the teens in question think it is rather uncool and might want to do something else before or after so they don't want to participate in the dressing up aspect.

Sure it might be a social faux pas for a black tie event but a theme birthday party...not so much.

Now if I didn't want to dress up, I think I would ask the host just how strict the dress up thing was. If it was a really big deal, I'd likely do it, quietly grump to those closest to me and be no worse for wear. If I REALLY didn't want to do it, or it was a expense, I'd probably decline the invite.

I've gone to Halloween parties not in costume before.

I'd file this one into 'don't sweat the small stuff.'