Parents Do not have to attend soccer games!!! UPDATE

[sam_gordon]

There was always a rule when dd cheered for the rec center. A parent needs to be there in case of an injury among other reasons I saw posted on the 1st couple of pages.

DS10 plays football and we had a player break his arm at one of our practices. His dad normally stays at all practices but had to run another child home and was supposed to only be gone for a few minutes. His son broke his arm on the 1st play after he left. We didn't have his cell number and couldn't contact any one on his list so we ended up calling the ambulance. We were finally able to contact someone on his contact list after about 20-30 minutes. For 30 minutes (by the time EMS came and got him prepped and ready to go), this poor little guy had to lay there in pain and scared to death with only his coaches to comfort him. Injury is the main reason that I think parents need to be at practice no matter what. If my DH or I are unavailable to be at an entire practice (his FB schedule conflicts with DD14's JV cheer), I always have my mom or dad or sister come stay.

If this is such an inconvenience to the parents, don't sign your child up. If an actual parent can't be there, a responsible adult should be there to represent your child.

Curious... what do your kids' schools think about having you (or a 'representative adult') around all day? I've known kids who've gotten injured during recess & gym class. Shouldn't parents be around then, so if there IS an injury, they can quickly respond?

And, since we are talking U12 players, that includes middle school age... kids who are also on school teams that practice/have games immediately after school. Should they not participate if a parent can't be at those practices?

 

[SingleFather]

There was always a rule when dd cheered for the rec center. A parent needs to be there in case of an injury among other reasons I saw posted on the 1st couple of pages.

I guess I don't get this. There are thousands of places a child could get injured. Playing with friends, falling off playground equipment or down stairs at school. You don't see parents being required to stay there during those periods.

The soccer league has put forth a silly rule that will cost them in the long run.

 

[Mkrop]

Also injuries can happen in the recess yard at school, and parents are not made to come there for every recess and they certainly could be further away then a 10 minute car ride.


ETA I see if the couple minutes that I left my computer that we all seemed to have the same thought.

 

[Mkrop]

Wow, does that include HS football, because kids get hurt playing that, and I am pretty sure they don't have or allow parents to watch after school football practice.

Also my DD cheers, parents AREN'T ALLOWED, PERIOD, except last week of the month. Parents are irritating when coaches are trying to do their jobs. Parents don't need to hang around, especially with older kids. Coaches are trained, the have cell phones. Parents DON'T need to be there, unless they want to be there and even then it isn't always allowed.

You are really quite amusing at this time of the morning., NOT really, just kidding.

Yeah can you imagine parents be required to be at all the practice in the summer, the two-a-days that start at 7am-9am, and then have to go back from 4-6. At least this is how football and soccer works where my DS will go to school next year. I heard all the parents arranging their carpools so they could get their kids to practice and still get to work. And even then it was hard some having to leave work early or go in late. Some of them were thanking the high heavens that one of the moms was a SAHM still and could cover many of the days but even she had 3 younger kids who needed to be considered. This was a freshman team so there were no older students who could drive them either plus there are restrictions on that.

 

[golfgal]

A background chack really doesn't make someone "safe"

And it's not just from the Penn State thing...It's been that way for a while here.

Parents shouldn't be put out because they have to supervise their children...annoying? Sure.....but they're your kids....

It isn't about not wanting to supervise, it's about giving kids age appropriate responsibility for themselves. There is no reason kids that are 12 years old need to have a parent at every second of every practice.

There was always a rule when dd cheered for the rec center. A parent needs to be there in case of an injury among other reasons I saw posted on the 1st couple of pages.

DS10 plays football and we had a player break his arm at one of our practices. His dad normally stays at all practices but had to run another child home and was supposed to only be gone for a few minutes. His son broke his arm on the 1st play after he left. We didn't have his cell number and couldn't contact any one on his list so we ended up calling the ambulance. We were finally able to contact someone on his contact list after about 20-30 minutes. For 30 minutes (by the time EMS came and got him prepped and ready to go), this poor little guy had to lay there in pain and scared to death with only his coaches to comfort him. Injury is the main reason that I think parents need to be at practice no matter what. If my DH or I are unavailable to be at an entire practice (his FB schedule conflicts with DD14's JV cheer), I always have my mom or dad or sister come stay.

If this is such an inconvenience to the parents, don't sign your child up. If an actual parent can't be there, a responsible adult should be there to represent your child.

Well, that would be called THE COACH....

 

[cornflake]

If my DH or I are unavailable to be at an entire practice (his FB schedule conflicts with DD14's JV cheer), I always have my mom or dad or sister come stay.

Besides that I can't imagine a 14-year-old comfortable with parents watching over afterschool activities...don't take this the wrong way, but...

Don't you people have jobs?

I don't know anyone attends all their kids practices, because said practices are mostly after school, when parents (and aunts and often grandparents and etc.) are at work. In addition to, even if they weren't, I can't imagine wanting to sit and watch kids practice every dang day plus games and etc. A friend of mine is a youth hockey coach and a bunch of parents end up at practice, because practice is generally at 5am so once you got up and went to the rink, might as well sit there with coffee for the 45 mins. rather than trek home and back, and even they end up in the lobby, bored (aside from the insane ones who backseat coach) or running to the supermarket to get some errands out of the way.

 

[mhsjax]

It isn't about not wanting to supervise, it's about giving kids age appropriate responsibility for themselves. There is no reason kids that are 12 years old need to have a parent at every second of every practice.



Well, that would be called THE COACH....

Good one. I like that. The Coach line, that is.

 

[tvguy]

Honestly, if they were to implement this program in my town, then we might as well just cancel sports all together as we wouldn't be able to field a team in anything. Many of the kids arrive at practices via carpool, babysitter, on their own via bike etc... since parents are usually working. This is especially true once the kids reach school age and up. Heck, many times the kids have to get rides to games because parents are working. And what happens to those who have multiple kids? Our baseball fields, for example, are scattered all over town. What do you say? "Sorry, honey, your brother/ sister gets to play this year. You can have your turn some other year."

I also find it hard to believe that the coaches want the parents there as well. DH has coached Little League for years and he would go nuts if all the parents stood there throwing in their two cents. As it is, they had to put green netting by home plate so that parents wouldn't stand there and cause problems when watching the game.

As far as late to pick up your kid, if that is really what prompted this policy, all you would need is a rule about tardies. Ex. Two times late and child is benched, off the team, whatever. This seems like much more than that.

Also, for those who say that parents should be supervising their own children, HOW do you plan to have them do that? ANY sport or activity that my kids have ever done (soccer, baseball, hockey, football, ballet.....) the parents are not allowed on the field, ice etc... unless they are a coach. In fact, it is against the rules to have anyone who has not had a CORI check by that particular sport near the kids. So, yes, you would be there for an emergency. But, supervise, not possible at anything my kids have ever participated in.

I know things vary widely in communities, but this policy would be the death of youth sports if it was implemented in my town.

Never had a problem in all my years involved as a coach,umpire and board member with parents being on hand for practices. Like I posted earlier, there tend to be other programs in most areas that operate under different rules, so a child should not be in a position of not being able to play. Hey, one year we struggled with raising fees from $75 to $100......and we did lose about 10 players, all to a traveling team that cost $7,500 per player

 

[Mkrop]

Never had a problem in all my years involved as a coach,umpire and board member with parents being on hand for practices. Like I posted earlier, there tend to be other programs in most areas that operate under different rules, so a child should not be in a position of not being able to play. Hey, one year we struggled with raising fees from $75 to $100......and we did lose about 10 players, all to a traveling team that cost $7,500 per player

Once again I am thrilled that you live in an area that has tons of places for your kids to go if you dont like the rules of the current program...NOT EVERYWHERE IS LIKE THIS. Once again can people take a step out of their own little world and realize that not every community and/or sports program or family set up is just like theirs!!!!!

For Little League around here, you CAN NOT switch leagues whatsoever! You are bound by the geographic map, people have tried, due to not liking certain coaches, to people living on the boundary line wanting to switch bc everyone across the street who are all thier kids friends play for the other league.

It is not that simple at times to switch leagues, and if all sports adopt this inane policy, then what, where do you go?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

For the record I find it a strange jump to assume it was because kids were being left behind. Why would it matter IF the child has a ride who brings them home? Read the rule again:

[/B]

It is not a very big leap to the Penn State situation and assume this is a kneejerk reaction.

I could agree with another parent bringing them home, perhaps. But I did read the rule and you seem bothered that someone has to be there at all.

Not sure why you would find my conclusion a leap. Your reaction is just as kneejerky.

 

[MichelleVW]

There was always a rule when dd cheered for the rec center. A parent needs to be there in case of an injury among other reasons I saw posted on the 1st couple of pages.

DS10 plays football and we had a player break his arm at one of our practices. His dad normally stays at all practices but had to run another child home and was supposed to only be gone for a few minutes. His son broke his arm on the 1st play after he left. We didn't have his cell number and couldn't contact any one on his list so we ended up calling the ambulance. We were finally able to contact someone on his contact list after about 20-30 minutes. For 30 minutes (by the time EMS came and got him prepped and ready to go), this poor little guy had to lay there in pain and scared to death with only his coaches to comfort him. Injury is the main reason that I think parents need to be at practice no matter what. If my DH or I are unavailable to be at an entire practice (his FB schedule conflicts with DD14's JV cheer), I always have my mom or dad or sister come stay.

If this is such an inconvenience to the parents, don't sign your child up. If an actual parent can't be there, a responsible adult should be there to represent your child.

So, because I was a single mom in the military my girls shouldn't have had the chance to play soccer, cheer, etc? My schedule was random and I never knew what it would be in advance. Thankfully I had awesome friends who would take my girls to practice, games etc if I was working and unavailable. Practice was not used as a babysitter and my girls were never picked up late.

The only practices that I stayed for were horseback riding lessons and that was only because I had the truck and trailer with me. DD would have rather I wasn't there watching her.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Once again I am thrilled that you live in an area that has tons of places for your kids to go if you dont like the rules of the current program...NOT EVERYWHERE IS LIKE THIS. Once again can people take a step out of their own little world and realize that not every community and/or sports program or family set up is just like theirs!!!!!

For Little League around here, you CAN NOT switch leagues whatsoever! You are bound by the geographic map, people have tried, due to not liking certain coaches, to people living on the boundary line wanting to switch bc everyone across the street who are all thier kids friends play for the other league.

It is not that simple at times to switch leagues, and if all sports adopt this inane policy, then what, where do you go?

You find a different activity. That is what I was referring to earlier. It doesn't even have to be a sports activity.

We can only participate in ONE soccer league due to our scheduling. If that didn't work--we just don't play soccer. The kids will live.

And we are not permitted to drop off--we can designate another adult, but it is not intended to be a drop off activity to have the kids play soccer while mom (or dad) can go run an errand each week. But we can have another adult be responsible for them. I coach and I don't have the schedule flexibility to stay behind because the line was too long at the grocery store.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

So, because I was a single mom in the military my girls shouldn't have had the chance to play soccer, cheer, etc? My schedule was random and I never knew what it would be in advance. Thankfully I had awesome friends who would take my girls to practice, games etc if I was working and unavailable. Practice was not used as a babysitter and my girls were never picked up late.

The only practices that I stayed for were horseback riding lessons and that was only because I had the truck and trailer with me. DD would have rather I wasn't there watching her.

That was my mom and I was able to do activities when I reached high school age and was driving.

Again--I don't have an issue with another parent being responsible which is not permitted in the OP's situation. But the sob stories just don't work for me.

Organizations should be able to set rules as they see fit and if we don't like them, we can just look elsewhere or do nothing.

Another thing that hasn't been mentioned--did something change about their insurance perhaps?

 

[taitai]

I think it is a ridiculous rule and is going to cause a lot of kids to drop off the team. Where we live, fields are scattered all over the place. 10-15 miles between them. There is NO WAY that I, even as a SAHM, could watch all three of my children practice simultaneously. It is physically not possible. All of their practices overlap.

Even if you add my husband into the mix, it simply is not possible. He coaches and so he needs to be with whatever team he is coaching that season. He can't be at the practices of the other two.

We are very grateful that we live in a community in which parents help each other out. If it wasn't for carpooling, my children would have a very different sports experience. However, we have a wonderful, supportive group of parents who are always willing to take an extra kid to practice or home. It would not work for us any other way.

As for those people who think the kids should just ride their bikes and not have a parent take them around. Please visit my Minnesota community. Basketball practice is 7 miles away at 6pm. It gets dark in the winter at 4:30. The average temp is about 0. There is ice and snow on the road. Still think my 8 year old should be riding his bike?

 

[mjkacmom]

Now that I've had time to read the entire thread, I get why the OP has a problem with it.. I wasn't thinking about families who have several children, in different locations, at different times, and not enough parents to go around.. Mom & Dad can only be in two places at any given time - one with each child - (providing they are both available - or it's not a single parent raising their children alone) - so what happens to the other child/children? They can't be involved in the sports of their choice?

Not such a great idea after all.. I'm thinking they may get a lot of flack about this and hopefully it will be changed..

C.Ann, thank you. My kids have activities between the hours of 4 - 9 on a daily basis. I struggle with carpooling (making sure we drive as much, if not more, than others), and trying to get dinner into everyone. Not everyone has the luxury of sitting at a field for 1 - 2 hours, and watching a practice for one child.

 

[MichelleVW]

That was my mom and I was able to do activities when I reached high school age and was driving.

Again--I don't have an issue with another parent being responsible which is not permitted in the OP's situation. But the sob stories just don't work for me.

Organizations should be able to set rules as they see fit and if we don't like them, we can just look elsewhere or do nothing.

Another thing that hasn't been mentioned--did something change about their insurance perhaps?

That's ridiculous, and far from a sob story. I wasn't complaining about missing their events...just that it wasn't possible. "Sorry girls...there are ridiculous rules and you have to sit home until you get your driver's license and can drive yourself to practice because my friends aren't allowed to take you to practice anymore". Ridiculous.

 

[kamik86]

I have never heard of any like this. I have heard of organization where an adult who has agreed to be responsible for your child is present. (So you can have Suzie's mom bring your child and stay one day and then you bring Suzie and stay another day).

When I was a kid we didn't even have this rule for 1st to 3rd grade softball, to be honest many parents stayed because the league covered a wide area of houses so some parents were too far away to make it worth leaving.

Oh BTW the only bad behavior I heard of in that league was on my team, in the middle of a game, and most of the parents were there. Coach got upset about something and threw our big gatorade water jug over the fence and was screaming at players and ranting. He was the head coach but the next game assistant coach (who removed head coach from the area during the game) was head coach and our former head coach was no longer allowed on the field.

 

[mhsjax]

That was my mom and I was able to do activities when I reached high school age and was driving.

Again--I don't have an issue with another parent being responsible which is not permitted in the OP's situation. But the sob stories just don't work for me.

Organizations should be able to set rules as they see fit and if we don't like them, we can just look elsewhere or do nothing.

Another thing that hasn't been mentioned--did something change about their insurance perhaps?

Do nothing, have you gone temporarily insane. These are dumb rules. If a kid can't be picked up on time, then blame the parents and punish that family. I have 3, so do you want to tell them which one can do their activity, YOu are in la la land. Let's see, I can tell my son that is training for his 2nd degree black belt that he doesn't need to go, never mind the fact that it has completely gotten him out of his shell, that he is insanely in shape because of this, and has manners and discipline unlike 90% of the teens I have seen. Or my DD out of competitive cheer, who cares that before she was a couch potato and quit everything that got hard, but now she she works hard to over come anything that gets in her way, not to mention team work and time management that this has taught her, or DS that plays soccer, who kicks the ball non stop during almost every waking hour. Which one do you want to play, I will let you break that bad news.

OH yeah, I forgot, I live somewhere, where people actually have common sense. Coaches don't care if you drop them off, half the time the coaches are late ending practice and they don't even know if the parents are there, DD we aren'a allowed to watch, and for Tae Kwon Do, they just hand out in the waiting room or hep out until their ride gets there. I have only been late one time, in 6 years of DS playing soccer,and it was 5 minutes. the others never.

Glad I don't live in your world. My kids deserve to do their activities and a rule like this, doesn't fly around here. And yes I said DESERVE.

 

[tlbwriter]

I said more kids, not all kids. At twelve if my parents couldn't get us to practice because of work we got ourselves there. The point was that kids at that age should be able to get themselves to practices provided they don't live too far away and requiring parents to be there is ridiculous. Twelve year olds don't need babysitting. This isn't smurf soccer.

Anyone who has been around these boards more than a day will see there are a lot of people who coddle their kids. This place is not free of snowflakes. They don't grant them the independence we were granted. I wonder how many 12 year olds have biked more than 5 miles from their home.

You are talking about two different things. I agree that 12 yr olds don't need their parents watching them practice. I am simply pointing out that your assumption that most (or even many) of them can get themselves to practice without their parents' assistance is unfounded. If you want to call my child a snowflake because I won't let her ride her bicycle 5 miles along a divided highway, sometimes in the dark, then I think your definition of "snowflake" isn't the same as the one most of us use.

 

[Mkrop]

You find a different activity. That is what I was referring to earlier. It doesn't even have to be a sports activity.

We can only participate in ONE soccer league due to our scheduling. If that didn't work--we just don't play soccer. The kids will live.

And we are not permitted to drop off--we can designate another adult, but it is not intended to be a drop off activity to have the kids play soccer while mom (or dad) can go run an errand each week. But we can have another adult be responsible for them. I coach and I don't have the schedule flexibility to stay behind because the line was too long at the grocery store.

I dont run errands while they are at practice, I am either getting the other one to his practice, or working on homework or projects, or getting one in the bath and going back out with the kid in pjs to pick up so that the next one can get in the shower and everyone can get to bed at a decent hour.

This is not a sob story...the sob story would be if my children did not have the opportunities that sports provide them. The physical activity, the sportsmanship, the team building, the social interaction.

And there is no other adult that can be responsible for them in this league that the OP is posting about, mom or dad is it and for many that is not feasible for a variety of valid reasons.


Like tonight for example DS14 has football from 6-8, it is suppose to rain and be in the low 40s, if DH was away this week, under this ridiculous rule, DS8 and I would have to stand there for 2 hours in the rain and cold (they dont cancel FB practice for rain, only lightning) instead of coming home and getting all homework complete, getting him a shower so that the minute DS14 does come home all cold wet and muddy, he can get in the shower. What if I had an infant to consider, should I stand out in that mess just to watch practice. They have SEVEN coaches there, I do not need to be there.

But I guess your solution would be to take away football from my son, which has actually been the best thing for him, he lost weight, learn extreme discipline, has gained tremdous confidence, and develop a brotherhood with his teammates that is incredible.