Parents Do not have to attend soccer games!!! UPDATE

[HM]

I always stayed for my kids soccer practices. For me this would not mean a change.

 

[declansdad]

It is not a very big leap to the Penn State situation and assume this is a kneejerk reaction.

I wouldn't assume it is a kneejerk reaction. I would assume it had to do more with kids not being picked up on time or kids being unruly during practice.

 

[simba20]

Just wanted to throw this into the mix:

Recently, in our area, there was a volunteer coach charged with molestation of a girl during a rec team practice/game. In the past he had been a volunteer coach, but took time off from coaching while his son played sports. It was during one of his son's games, that he took the girl to his car and molested her. It's interesting that this is a man, that the rec dept had previosuly done background checks on.

I understand parents work, and some cannot make it to practice/games, etc. However, I think there always needs to be some adult around to keep an eye on things or be there when a child gets hurt. Asking a friend's mom is fine, but make sure that adult is responsible enough to watch out for things.

 

[SingleFather]

I wouldn't assume it is a kneejerk reaction. I would assume it had to do more with kids not being picked up on time or kids being unruly during practice.

So then you bench the kid from the game, you don't force the parent to sit through practice.

There are also some parents who are not into sports at all, why make them sit through practice? What a deadly bore that would be for them. I pity the poor coaches, teachers, and other organizers. It’s hard enough doing these jobs without having your every move put under the microscope!

We had a situation where a parent volunteered to coach the kids for one hour when my daughter was in U6 when the regular coach had to be out of town. Half the parents complained that he worked the kids too hard and expected too much of them.

The result though was the girls for that next game stopped being ants chasing a sugar cube and actually played positions and won their first game of the season.

 

[MichelleVW]

Do nothing, have you gone temporarily insane. These are dumb rules. If a kid can't be picked up on time, then blame the parents and punish that family. I have 3, so do you want to tell them which one can do their activity, YOu are in la la land. Let's see, I can tell my son that is training for his 2nd degree black belt that he doesn't need to go, never mind the fact that it has completely gotten him out of his shell, that he is insanely in shape because of this, and has manners and discipline unlike 90% of the teens I have seen. Or my DD out of competitive cheer, who cares that before she was a couch potato and quit everything that got hard, but now she she works hard to over come anything that gets in her way, not to mention team work and time management that this has taught her, or DS that plays soccer, who kicks the ball non stop during almost every waking hour. Which one do you want to play, I will let you break that bad news.

OH yeah, I forgot, I live somewhere, where people actually have common sense. Coaches don't care if you drop them off, half the time the coaches are late ending practice and they don't even know if the parents are there, DD we aren'a allowed to watch, and for Tae Kwon Do, they just hand out in the waiting room or hep out until their ride gets there. I have only been late one time, in 6 years of DS playing soccer,and it was 5 minutes. the others never.

Glad I don't live in your world. My kids deserve to do their activities and a rule like this, doesn't fly around here. And yes I said DESERVE.

Seriously agree with everything you just said.

 

[Mkrop]

Just wanted to throw this into the mix:

Recently, in our area, there was a volunteer coach charged with molestation of a girl during a rec team practice/game. In the past he had been a volunteer coach, but took time off from coaching while his son played sports. It was during one of his son's games, that he took the girl to his car and molested her. It's interesting that this is a man, that the rec dept had previosuly done background checks on.

I understand parents work, and some cannot make it to practice/games, etc. However, I think there always needs to be some adult around to keep an eye on things or be there when a child gets hurt. Asking a friend's mom is fine, but make sure that adult is responsible enough to watch out for things.

So once again this occurred during a GAME when most likely a good portion of the parents were there!!!!!!! So unfortunately horrible things can happen to people/kids even when there is a crowd around.

Background checks are not foolproof but they are the best we have and as a parent I want to protect my child from every danger possible but there are times in their lives that I need to leave them and trust the adults around them to keep them safe.

I dont attend school with them, I dont go on every field trip with them. I have to have some faith that those adults are decent human beings. I can not be with them 24/7.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I dont run errands while they are at practice, I am either getting the other one to his practice, or working on homework or projects, or getting one in the bath and going back out with the kid in pjs to pick up so that the next one can get in the shower and everyone can get to bed at a decent hour.

This is not a sob story...the sob story would be if my children did not have the opportunities that sports provide them. The physical activity, the sportsmanship, the team building, the social interaction.

And there is no other adult that can be responsible for them in this league that the OP is posting about, mom or dad is it and for many that is not feasible for a variety of valid reasons.


Like tonight for example DS14 has football from 6-8, it is suppose to rain and be in the low 40s, if DH was away this week, under this ridiculous rule, DS8 and I would have to stand there for 2 hours in the rain and cold (they dont cancel FB practice for rain, only lightning) instead of coming home and getting all homework complete, getting him a shower so that the minute DS14 does come home all cold wet and muddy, he can get in the shower. What if I had an infant to consider, should I stand out in that mess just to watch practice. They have SEVEN coaches there, I do not need to be there.

But I guess your solution would be to take away football from my son, which has actually been the best thing for him, he lost weight, learn extreme discipline, has gained tremdous confidence, and develop a brotherhood with his teammates that is incredible.

OP's background indicates he is more peeved that he cannot free range his kids.

It seems your league doesn't have that rule--and if they did, you would have known when you signed him up.

I have had infants--we all lived. In those cases, I have sat in the car. I didn't notice that not being permitted in the OP's post.

 

[traviesojmt]

The reality could simply be that the rec. dept. has chosen not to take on the liability of being responsible for your kids. In today's lawsuit driven society, they may have accessed the Penn State situation and decided that they could not afford to be responsible if anything were to happen. Someone mention that the Coach was the responsible adult, but the Rec. Dept would be the "entity" sued in the event that something did happen. It sounds as if they are putting that responsibility back on the parents. If enough parents pull their kids due to the new rule, then they may do away with the new rule. Again, they may not even enforce it, but maybe it helps cover their liability a bit better if they say that a parent MUST be present. Just a thought!

 

[cari12]

You live in a different world than I do. Dh works, I don't. we have 3 kids. And usually once during the week, we can't be at soccer practice to watch. I have1 at cheer way to the south and 2 at different activities to the north of town. Sorry but their coaches don't ask me what times are convenient before I sign up, and that info isn't given out until practice is just about to start. There is no ensuring times for scheduling purposes. especially with 3 kids. YOu really can't just lump everyone into this category.

I wasn't the one lumping. The PP said that the only ones that can be there for practice must have only one child and I was just stating that this is not true as I know many parents in similar situations as mine.

 

[mhsjax]

Seriously agree with everything you just said.

Even with all the typos and misspelling? lol. I type faster than my fingers can accurately hit the keys, especially when I am annoyed by something.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Do nothing, have you gone temporarily insane. These are dumb rules. If a kid can't be picked up on time, then blame the parents and punish that family. I have 3, so do you want to tell them which one can do their activity, YOu are in la la land. Let's see, I can tell my son that is training for his 2nd degree black belt that he doesn't need to go, never mind the fact that it has completely gotten him out of his shell, that he is insanely in shape because of this, and has manners and discipline unlike 90% of the teens I have seen. Or my DD out of competitive cheer, who cares that before she was a couch potato and quit everything that got hard, but now she she works hard to over come anything that gets in her way, not to mention team work and time management that this has taught her, or DS that plays soccer, who kicks the ball non stop during almost every waking hour. Which one do you want to play, I will let you break that bad news.

OH yeah, I forgot, I live somewhere, where people actually have common sense. Coaches don't care if you drop them off, half the time the coaches are late ending practice and they don't even know if the parents are there, DD we aren'a allowed to watch, and for Tae Kwon Do, they just hand out in the waiting room or hep out until their ride gets there. I have only been late one time, in 6 years of DS playing soccer,and it was 5 minutes. the others never.

Glad I don't live in your world. My kids deserve to do their activities and a rule like this, doesn't fly around here. And yes I said DESERVE.

No--but thank you for being condescending.

And I don't proclaim to live in a place where folks have common sense.


My kids do many things and just due to logistics, I do schedule them accordingly. But if it helps to cite extremes and not use logic to understand my position to defend your own position, have at it.

But is far easier for the OP to blame this on Penn State.

 

[5lilfish]

You are talking about two different things. I agree that 12 yr olds don't need their parents watching them practice. I am simply pointing out that your assumption that most (or even many) of them can get themselves to practice without their parents' assistance is unfounded. If you want to call my child a snowflake because I won't let her ride her bicycle 5 miles along a divided highway, sometimes in the dark, then I think your definition of "snowflake" isn't the same as the one most of us use.

No. I would not let my 12 year old ride her bike in those circumstances, but my 12 year old can pick up a phone and be responsible for arranging her own ride or calling to see if anyone can carpool.

Jess

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Even with all the typos and misspelling? lol. I type faster than my fingers can accurately hit the keys, especially when I am annoyed by something.

I didn't even notice.


I disagree with you regardless.

Oh--and I have 4 kids and the oldest 3 do multiple activities. We are merely restricted in how we schedule and they still all get to do the things they love to do. I've even held the baby in the rain so that they could do it.

In fact I was annoyed 2 weeks ago when a team walked off the field during a game because they were "cold". They wouldn't even finish the game. These were COACHES. I am a coach and checked the weather. My baby was fine. Kids were wondering why the team left and we had to merge our players in with other teams so that they could continue to play.

 

[mhsjax]

I wasn't the one lumping. The PP said that the only ones that can be there for practice must have only one child and I was just stating that this is not true as I know many parents in similar situations as mine.

No, I was saying that you can't lump everyone int a category of being ABLE to schedule so you kids don't conflict with each other. You said that YOU schedule, most places you can't do that. YOu sign up and then you are assigned a practice schedule, it has nothing to do with parents scheduling their kids so all can play at different times. that is the lumping I am talking about. Nothing to do with how many kids you have.

 

[tlbwriter]

No. I would not let my 12 year old ride her bike in those circumstances, but my 12 year old can pick up a phone and be responsible for arranging her own ride or calling to see if anyone can carpool.

I don't see what that has to do with anything.

 

[Mkrop]

OP's background indicates he is more peeved that he cannot free range his kids.

It seems your league doesn't have that rule--and if they did, you would have known when you signed him up.

I have had infants--we all lived. In those cases, I have sat in the car. I didn't notice that not being permitted in the OP's post.

Once again that may apply to your fields but we have many around here where the field is NO WHERE NEAR the parking lot, we have some that you need to pack a days supplies on a pack mule to get to So the coaches or anyone else would have no clue that I was sitting in the parking lot.

And if you want to risk your kids' health by taking them out in poor weather then all the more power to you, I do not want to assume that risk amd I shouldnt have to for my child to play a sport or do any activity. And once again you are assuming that everyone in the family is healthy enough to be out there in the first place. Let me tell DS14 that he cant go to FB and therefore be benched for the next game, bc his younger brother has a fever, instead of doing the logical and sensible thing by getting him a ride to/from practice. Or I could do as you suggest and take said sick child out in the freezing cold and rain and risk pneumonia ...cmon logic people!!!!!!!!!

 

[5lilfish]

The reality could simply be that the rec. dept. has chosen not to take on the liability of being responsible for your kids. In today's lawsuit driven society, they may have accessed the Penn State situation and decided that they could not afford to be responsible if anything were to happen. Someone mention that the Coach was the responsible adult, but the Rec. Dept would be the "entity" sued in the event that something did happen. It sounds as if they are putting that responsibility back on the parents. If enough parents pull their kids due to the new rule, then they may do away with the new rule. Again, they may not even enforce it, but maybe it helps cover their liability a bit better if they say that a parent MUST be present. Just a thought!

I could somewhat understand that for 8U. I would start to question it at 10U and by 12U, I'd think it was over-kill. Most 12 year old kids do not need child care. They can be left home alone (or at practice) for an hour or 2 and be resposible for themselves.

Jess

 

[mhsjax]

I didn't even notice.


I disagree with you regardless.

Oh--and I have 4 kids and the oldest 3 do multiple activities. We are merely restricted in how we schedule and they still all get to do the things they love to do. I've even held the baby in the rain so that they could do it.

In fact I was annoyed 2 weeks ago when a team walked off the field during a game because they were "cold". They wouldn't even finish the game. These were COACHES. I am a coach and checked the weather. My baby was fine. Kids were wondering why the team left and we had to merge our players in with other teams so that they could continue to play.

Glad you can schedule, we can't, there is no way Sorry. My kids will continue to do the things they do, and w will at times have to drop off and go get another. It won't work here, and I won't make them give up thier activity. We manage and our coach, well soccer coach, doesn't care if we aren't there, in fact if we get caught saying anything to the kids we are banned from the game and out kid won't start, he is the coach and he has made up well aware of it.

but to say to a parent if you can't be there for practice, then the kids can do nothing, is really a little over the top, especially when one coach doesn't care, Tae Kwon do instructor, doesn't care, and cheer coach, she does care, we aren't allowed to be there.

DH has coached many times, it comes with the territory that parents will be late, is it right Nope, it is annoying beyond belief. But don't take the job if you can't handle it. Punish the parents or the kid by benching him, not making him give up a sport because for some reason the parent can't always be at practice.

And sorry, but what does not finishing a game have to do with parents staying for practice? Really just wondering.

 

[MichelleVW]

Even with all the typos and misspelling? lol. I type faster than my fingers can accurately hit the keys, especially when I am annoyed by something.

I read faster than typos!!

I didn't even notice.


I disagree with you regardless.

Oh--and I have 4 kids and the oldest 3 do multiple activities. We are merely restricted in how we schedule and they still all get to do the things they love to do. I've even held the baby in the rain so that they could do it.

In fact I was annoyed 2 weeks ago when a team walked off the field during a game because they were "cold". They wouldn't even finish the game. These were COACHES. I am a coach and checked the weather. My baby was fine. Kids were wondering why the team left and we had to merge our players in with other teams so that they could continue to play.

It's nice that it works out for you, but I only had two kids in activities and sometimes although they were on the same league they had games and practices at roughly the same time 25 minutes apart from each other...how in the world could I be at both places? I'm glad it all works out for you, but thankfully we didn't have the stupid rules because no way would it have worked for me.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

No, I was saying that you can't lump everyone int a category of being ABLE to schedule so you kids don't conflict with each other. You said that YOU schedule, most places you can't do that. YOu sign up and then you are assigned a practice schedule, it has nothing to do with parents scheduling their kids so all can play at different times. that is the lumping I am talking about. Nothing to do with how many kids you have.

As other threads (like the grandparents as babysitters thread) state...

When you have kids, these are things you consider. It isn't up to any organization to have to worry that you have chosen to have multilpe children and then plan their activities so that the multiple children are in all different quadrants of the town at the same time.

While I am not a single mom, I have had roughly--2-3 years (can't calculate it at the moment) where my husband did not live with us. I'm one to not pull favors. So what I did was PLAN our activities accordingly. While my kids would have loved to learn to ice skate, it was simply too far away, too expensive, and it conflicted with other places we needed to be for the other things they liked to do.

It's funny how on one thread, we can't depend on grandma to bail us out--but here, we expect society to pander to our choices.

At least, that is how it comes across as me.

The "but I'm single, but I have 12 kids, but I do this or that" mentality is not the organizations responsibilty.

The OP-typically does not accept ANY place that demands him to observe his child because he is a free ranger. I would bet that he would have an issue that his 5 year old could not run around in Fantasyland at Disney by himself because he finds the 7yo rule too restrictive.

IT is far easier to call my opinion lacking in common sense than it is to see where I am coming from. For every excuse, there is a choice.

No, your child "doesn't have" to play football. He enjoys it and you may bend over backwards for it and LIKELY--if the league had such a rule and was unyielding, you would alter the rest of your children's schedules to accommodate it. That is what usually happens.

You cannot force an organization to accept more liability than they are willing to take.