Parents Do not have to attend soccer games!!! UPDATE

[traviesojmt]

I could somewhat understand that for 8U. I would start to question it at 10U and by 12U, I'd think it was over-kill. Most 12 year old kids do not need child care. They can be left home alone (or at practice) for an hour or 2 and be resposible for themselves.

Jess

I agree with you, but my thought is that the rec dept is just not wanting the liability. Of course a 12 year old does not need immediate parental supervision, but I don't think that is the rec. dept's concern. I think that they just do not want to be held responsible "in case" anything were to happen. By requiring parental presence, it puts the liability right back into the parent's lap. Not knowing the rec. dept's intentions, I am just suggesting that this is an insurance decision.

My other thought is that this is a gut-reaction decision that will quickly fold when enough parents complain or do not sign up anymore.

 

[mhsjax]

No--but thank you for being condescending.

And I don't proclaim to live in a place where folks have common sense.


My kids do many things and just due to logistics, I do schedule them accordingly. But if it helps to cite extremes and not use logic to understand my position to defend your own position, have at it.

But is far easier for the OP to blame this on Penn State.

I don't agree with the Penn State thing either. I also don't agree with parents having to stay at practice for any reason. I most certainly don't agree with , if you can't do this, then your kids can do nothing they will live comment. I didn't use extremes, I used my very real schedule. YOur view of not allowing kids to do anything because a parent can't stay is the extreme. And yes, if that is the thought process, common sense has left the building.

 

[SingleFather]

I agree with you, but my thought is that the rec dept is just not wanting the liability. Of course a 12 year old does not need immediate parental supervision, but I don't think that is the rec. dept's concern. I think that they just do not want to be held responsible "in case" anything were to happen. By requiring parental presence, it puts the liability right back into the parent's lap. Not knowing the rec. dept's intentions, I am just suggesting that this is an insurance decision.

My other thought is that this is a gut-reaction decision that will quickly fold when enough parents complain or do not sign up anymore.

I sure hope so. So far no one in the rec department can or will say why this is a NEW rule. This has never been the case and unless they expect the coaches (who should concentrate on coaching) to enforce this, it won't happen. We already have a RULE about what practice uniform is to be worn but no one follows that one.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Once again I am thrilled that you live in an area that has tons of places for your kids to go if you dont like the rules of the current program...NOT EVERYWHERE IS LIKE THIS. Once again can people take a step out of their own little world and realize that not every community and/or sports program or family set up is just like theirs!!!!!

Like tonight for example DS14 has football from 6-8, it is suppose to rain and be in the low 40s, if DH was away this week, under this ridiculous rule, DS8 and I would have to stand there for 2 hours in the rain and cold

Couple of things most posters don't seem to be getting...
Simply because the OP's daughter's soccer league instituted this rule doesn't mean any other team, group, club, organization, etc., anywhere in any community intends to do the same.
You do have a choice. If the rules change to something truly unreasonable, start your own group.
A lot of posters are talking about teenagers. In the OP's description, this wouldn't apply.
Some other posters mentioned things like Girl Scouts, dance class, Tae Kwan Do... the difference is, if a parent is late picking up from these, while a bit annoying, at least everyone - including leaders, teachers, instructors - are waiting indoors. Sometimes even in their own homes.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Once again that may apply to your fields but we have many around here where the field is NO WHERE NEAR the parking lot, we have some that you need to pack a days supplies on a pack mule to get to So the coaches or anyone else would have no clue that I was sitting in the parking lot.

And if you want to risk your kids' health by taking them out in poor weather then all the more power to you, I do not want to assume that risk amd I shouldnt have to for my child to play a sport or do any activity. And once again you are assuming that everyone in the family is healthy enough to be out there in the first place. Let me tell DS14 that he cant go to FB and therefore be benched for the next game, bc his younger brother has a fever, instead of doing the logical and sensible thing by getting him a ride to/from practice. Or I could do as you suggest and take said sick child out in the freezing cold and rain and risk pneumonia ...cmon logic people!!!!!!!!!

I'm assuming nothing.

The same logic you expect of me should be utilized by you as well. Where there is a will, there is a way.

If you had to follow a rule, you would figure out a way to follow it.

 

[MichelleVW]

I don't agree with the Penn State thing either. I also don't agree with parents having to stay at practice for any reason. I most certainly don't agree with , if you can't do this, then your kids can do nothing they will live comment. I didn't use extremes, I used my very real schedule. YOur view of not allowing kids to do anything because a parent can't stay is the extreme. And yes, if that is the thought process, common sense has left the building.

Once again....agree! And will probably agree with anything else you say this afternoon, but will be at work so I won't be able to agree in person...so if you comment anymore...you can just count me in for agreeing!

I was very responsible on getting my kids to and from practice games etc, and sometimes it involved other people that weren't a parent....no matter how you slice it the rules that a parent needs to attend practice are ridiculous and I'm sure the participation would be down if that were the case.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I don't agree with the Penn State thing either. I also don't agree with parents having to stay at practice for any reason. I most certainly don't agree with , if you can't do this, then your kids can do nothing they will live comment. I didn't use extremes, I used my very real schedule. YOur view of not allowing kids to do anything because a parent can't stay is the extreme. And yes, if that is the thought process, common sense has left the building.

I coach 4 to 6 year olds. Mom or dad better be available somewhere because I don't have to do potty runs. So there's one valid reason. (Since you did not specify ages.)

I also didn't say "do nothing". My kids don't "do nothing".

Your real schedule is of your choice based on what you could do. If you had to do it differently, you would have no choice but to change it.

My thought is that society doesn't owe you anything when you choose to have multiple children. Your children are your responsibility. At least that is what the DIS board consensus seems to be.
(ETA: And my commons sense was posted earlier: I don't see why another DESIGNATED adult couldn't take responsibility for a child. But you seemed to have missed that comment. Clearly folks on this thread are discussing more than just the topics posted in the OP.)

 

[mhsjax]

As other threads (like the grandparents as babysitters thread) state...

When you have kids, these are things you consider. It isn't up to any organization to have to worry that you have chosen to have multilpe children and then plan their activities so that the multiple children are in all different quadrants of the town at the same time.

While I am not a single mom, I have had roughly--2-3 years (can't calculate it at the moment) where my husband did not live with us. I'm one to not pull favors. So what I did was PLAN our activities accordingly. While my kids would have loved to learn to ice skate, it was simply too far away, too expensive, and it conflicted with other places we needed to be for the other things they liked to do.

It's funny how on one thread, we can't depend on grandma to bail us out--but here, we expect society to pander to our choices.

At least, that is how it comes across as me.

The "but I'm single, but I have 12 kids, but I do this or that" mentality is not the organizations responsibilty.

The OP-typically does not accept ANY place that demands him to observe his child because he is a free ranger. I would bet that he would have an issue that his 5 year old could not run around in Fantasyland at Disney by himself because he finds the 7yo rule too restrictive.

IT is far easier to call my opinion lacking in common sense than it is to see where I am coming from. For every excuse, there is a choice.

No, your child "doesn't have" to play football. He enjoys it and you may bend over backwards for it and LIKELY--if the league had such a rule and was unyielding, you would alter the rest of your children's schedules to accommodate it. That is what usually happens.

You cannot force an organization to accept more liability than they are willing to take.

Well, I don't use grand ma, I was very clear in that thread. Also, I still say no common sense. I do't know of anywhere that mandates parents stay for practices. I have family all over and most of them don't stay. And again, I guess our organizations here do have more common sense We sign release forms stating exactly what happens n an emergency and we giver permission to treat as necessary, and they aren't liable. So I will say it again, THANK GOD, I live in a place that has common sense. They don't require parents to stay and baby sit their kids. Coaches don't baby sit either, not of they are doing their job, they are COACHING. Big difference.

The common sense thing is in regards to your saying, if you can't stay then your kids can't play. Nothing to do with the OP. FWIW, my DH works nights, and weekends, and we very rarely miss a practice, at least the ones we are allowed to watch, but it we do, our coaches, the ones that actually allow us to watcher, couldn't care less and in fact wouldn't even know that we weren't there. They are to busy coaching.

 

[pacrosby]

No, I was saying that you can't lump everyone int a category of being ABLE to schedule so you kids don't conflict with each other. You said that YOU schedule, most places you can't do that. YOu sign up and then you are assigned a practice schedule, it has nothing to do with parents scheduling their kids so all can play at different times. that is the lumping I am talking about. Nothing to do with how many kids you have.

This, to me, is the most ridiculous policy and the very reason why my kids don't do the typical team sports. With four kids how could I possibly commit to a schedule that is up in the air? How in heaven's name do you folks do it?

My kids do individual sports (swimming, tennis, skiing, dance) and other extracurriculars (art classes at the art museum, robotics classes, piano lessons, chess clubs, leaders club) where you know what you are commiting yourself to before you actually sign up. Between them there's almost 25 hours of 'stuff' that they do (with overlap of course) each week. I see how some of my neighbors are essentially held captive by their kids' single sport commitments and I shudder.


Anyway, with regards to the OP situation. I can't for the life of me see a connection to the Penn State atrocity. The poster who brought up the issue of liability may be on to something. I know that people sign waivers and all but nowadays people find all sorts of ways to get around waivers. It's a crazy, sue-happy world

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Couple of things most posters don't seem to be getting...
Simply because the OP's daughter's soccer league instituted this rule doesn't mean any other team, group, club, organization, etc., anywhere in any community intends to do the same.
You do have a choice. If the rules change to something truly unreasonable, start your own group.
A lot of posters are talking about teenagers. In the OP's description, this wouldn't apply.
Some other posters mentioned things like Girl Scouts, dance class, Tae Kwan Do... the difference is, if a parent is late picking up from these, while a bit annoying, at least everyone - including leaders, teachers, instructors - are waiting indoors. Sometimes even in their own homes.

Thank you for sharing some common sense.

 

[tlbwriter]

My kids do individual sports (swimming, tennis, skiing, dance) and other extracurriculars (art classes at the art museum, robotics classes, piano lessons, chess clubs, leaders club) where you know what you are commiting yourself to before you actually sign up.

Even with those, you're lucky you know when they meet before you sign up. My daughter has three activities this year (two are afterschool organizations and one isn't related to school) where the policy is "sign up and then we'll find a time/date that works for everybody."

 

[mhsjax]

I coach 4 to 6 year olds. Mom or dad better be available somewhere because I don't have to do potty runs. So there's one valid reason. (Since you did not specify ages.)

I also didn't say "do nothing". My kids don't "do nothing".

Your real schedule is of your choice based on what you could do. If you had to do it differently, you would have no choice but to change it.

My thought is that society doesn't owe you anything when you choose to have multiple children. Your children are your responsibility. At least that is what the DIS board consensus seems to be.
(ETA: And my commons sense was posted earlier: I don't see why another DESIGNATED adult couldn't take responsibility for a child. But you seemed to have missed that comment. Clearly folks on this thread are discussing more than just the topics posted in the OP.)

Yep my kids are my responsibility, they are picked up one time and dropped off on time, on the rare occasion we can't stay. You obviously missed all my posts saying that I don't do grand kids because of this. I won't baby sit grand kids so I can get them anywhere, and I made a huge stink about people who do. I get my kids and other peoples kids to where they need to go, but I may not be able to stay. Got a problem with that to bad. Again, our one coach that allows us to stay doesn't care. In fact he doesn't want to here or see us, stay the heck out of they way and come get your kids when I am done. BTW 10, 12, and 14 year olds, don't need potty breaks with a parent.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Well, I don't use grand ma, I was very clear in that thread. Also, I still say no common sense. I do't know of anywhere that mandates parents stay for practices. I have family all over and most of them don't stay. And again, I guess our organizations here do have more common sense We sign release forms stating exactly what happens n an emergency and we giver permission to treat as necessary, and they aren't liable. So I will say it again, THANK GOD, I live in a place that has common sense. They don't require parents to stay and baby sit their kids. Coaches don't baby sit either, not of they are doing their job, they are COACHING. Big difference.

The younger age groups, IME don't permit drop offs or at the very least not having an adult responsible for your child for the things that we do. The instructor has very little time to be concerned with potty breaks and such. I would never accept full responsibility for a small child to the detriment of others. I'd never get anything done on the field if I had to keep running kids to the potty. (Which anyone who has common sense and have dealt with the pre-school/pre-K set knows can be extremely disruptive in most any setting.)

Note my earlier posts--I did not claim that the actual activity was "Babysitting"--I was referring to the time after where the parent was late.

And mostly--rules happen when there was lack of common sense. It is the few bad apples that spoil the bunch.

(Also, I erred earlier-I always get my soccer ages mixed up. I coach U-6 which is mostly 4 and 5 year olds with the occasional new 6 year old.)

 

[mhsjax]

This, to me, is the most ridiculous policy and the very reason why my kids don't do the typical team sports. With four kids how could I possibly commit to a schedule that is up in the air? How in heaven's name do you folks do it?

My kids do individual sports (swimming, tennis, skiing, dance) and other extracurriculars (art classes at the art museum, robotics classes, piano lessons, chess clubs, leaders club) where you know what you are commiting yourself to before you actually sign up. Between them there's almost 25 hours of 'stuff' that they do (with overlap of course) each week. I see how some of my neighbors are essentially held captive by their kids' single sports and I shudder.


Anyway, with regards to the OP situation. I can't for the life of me see a connection to the Penn State atrocity. The poster who brought up the issue of liability may be on to something. I know that people sign waivers and all but nowadays people find all sorts of ways to get around waivers. It's a crazy, sue-happy world

It is hard, luckily DH is here for most practice nights. Oldest DS can pick which nights he wants to go. We are to some extent held captive, and I said I never would, but we have built strong friendships through the years, and this is our social life and I LOVE it. Anyway, I also agree that I can't see the connection between Penn State and making parents stay. And yes I also agree that there are all sorts of ways to get around waivers.

 

[pacrosby]

Even with those, you're lucky you know when they meet before you sign up. My daughter has three activities this year (two are afterschool organizations and one isn't related to school) where the policy is "sign up and then we'll find a time/date that works for everybody."

That's crazy (to me). If that's the way it was here we simply couldn't commit to those activities (with the four kids). Knowing the schedules ahead of time allows me to make it all work. I've become a master scheduler

Without that knowledge ahead of time, they'd probably be limited to one or two activies per week....tops.

 

[mhsjax]

The younger age groups, IME don't permit drop offs or at the very least not having an adult responsible for your child for the things that we do. The instructor has very little time to be concerned with potty breaks and such. I would never accept full responsibility for a small child to the detriment of others. I'd never get anything done on the field if I had to keep running kids to the potty. (Which anyone who has common sense and have dealt with the pre-school/pre-K set knows can be extremely disruptive in most any setting.)

Note my earlier posts--I did not claim that the actual activity was "Babysitting"--I was referring to the time after where the parent was late.

And mostly--rules happen when there was lack of common sense. It is the few bad apples that spoil the bunch.

(Also, I erred earlier-I always get my soccer ages mixed up. I coach U-6 which is mostly 4 and 5 year olds with the occasional new 6 year old.)

I completely agree with the younger kids. But not older kids. And I also agree with you about rules and bad apples. That is why the parents should be punished, but they won't be, because then these sports teams won't get their precious money if they tick the parents off.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Yep my kids are my responsibility, they are picked up one time and dropped off on time, on the rare occasion we can't stay. You obviously missed all my posts saying that I don't do grand kids because of this. I won't baby sit grand kids so I can get them anywhere, and I made a huge stink about people who do. I get my kids and other peoples kids to where they need to go, but I may not be able to stay. Got a problem with that to bad. Again, our one coach that allows us to stay doesn't care. In fact he doesn't want to here or see us, stay the heck out of they way and come get your kids when I am done. BTW 10, 12, and 14 year olds, don't need potty breaks with a parent.

BTW--YOU did not specify ages. You stated an absolute without regard to age. Additionally--the OP's situation wouldn't apply to your 12 and 14 yo, just your 10yo and you would likely deal.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

I think a parent or guardian SHOULD have to stay with each kid. Those coaches are not your personal babysitter so that you can drop your kid off and go run errands then pop back by and pick them up.

If some accident or emergency were to happen with your kid you wouldn't even be there.

If you don't have the time to stay with your kid at soccer then don't enroll them next Spring. Or hire a babysitter to go sit with them at the soccer practice so you can do your shopping.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I completely agree with the younger kids. But not older kids. And I also agree with you about rules and bad apples. That is why the parents should be punished, but they won't be, because then these sports teams won't get their precious money if they tick the parents off.

Money--or they don't want to lose a strong player.

Sometimes when parents don't abide by the rules of courtesy, it is easier to institute a rule across the board.

That way, they can keep their money, keep their players,and not single out any one family and cause.

I don't necessarily consider it a bad thing.

I have been inconvenienced by new rules created the following year because others were discourteous the previous year. But that is how the cookie crumbles.

IF it was all about common sense, people wouldn't be doing the very things that cause a rule to be created in the first place.

 

[declansdad]

So then you bench the kid from the game, you don't force the parent to sit through practice.

There are also some parents who are not into sports at all, why make them sit through practice? What a deadly bore that would be for them. I pity the poor coaches, teachers, and other organizers. It’s hard enough doing these jobs without having your every move put under the microscope!

We had a situation where a parent volunteered to coach the kids for one hour when my daughter was in U6 when the regular coach had to be out of town. Half the parents complained that he worked the kids too hard and expected too much of them.

The result though was the girls for that next game stopped being ants chasing a sugar cube and actually played positions and won their first game of the season.

I don't disagree with your first comment; I am simply disagreing that this was a knee-jerk reaction to the Penn State situation.

I could have a converstation about U6 and what is important but that is a different thread.