My youngest is the same way! 12 years old, strong-willed and a ball of hormones. We take away electronics too. She would be more upset if we took away her book she is reading. Stay strong! I think they will be good lawyers someday!
Yep! Too many children are allowed to be disrespectful with no consequences!
So I didn’t really think it was one of those other awkward issues, otherwise she would’ve likely said so.
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That sounds like a difficult way to live. They used to call it “Getting too big for their britches”. She doesn’t get to dictate who can go in which room and when, nor is she in charge. If she wants to leave a room you’re in, then fine, but don’t let her tell you what to do. There has to be respect. Sounds like a bootcamp candidate on Dr. Phil! (Can you tell that her making you cry repeatedly in the bathroom has triggered me? 
) Is there anywhere she could volunteer to do some good and give of herself rather than making it all about her? I think there is hope she can grow out of it but I’d say it should be curbed a bit, too.
Possibly. Unless she was embarrassed. I don't know that that's the case, but maybe.
But EVERY person has a different idea of what "parenting" entails. Some want to micromanage everything a child does, others let kids do anything they want. No one way is right or wrong. And yes, every parenting decision that is out in public (whether seen or read about) is going to be judged.
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It's a bit hard to tell no? Because the reaction to it was the OP starting in on taking things away and an apology letter. Wouldn't make me want to open up and discuss things even if my answer was "you know IDK I just woke up in a bad mood".
I pick and choose my battles! For my 15-year old DD, she is not sassy very often so I let some of it go depending on what else is going on in her life. My 12-year old DD is much more vocal, more often. I have learned when to let it go and when to give her a consequence. And, yes, I do take away electronics. Hang in there!!!
It wasn’t for me, no. Once they were home I think many would’ve opened up, maybe especially because of the punishments. So we see it differently, and that’s ok.
I think the OP knows her daughter better than we do. I know for a fact that none of my daughters have any degree of modesty with period related discussions, something my husband and sons have learned to deal with. I would rather a little more decorum and not have to listen to the gory stories. Personally if it were my child she would’ve paid for the lesson herself.
Even if it was nothing in particular that was wrong you have a 13 year old girl willing to not go trick or treating with her friends, a 13 year old girl willing to have her electronics taken away which are at the heart of many pre-teens and teens alike and willing to go through what is more likely intended to be a humiliating exercise (because IMO a verbal apology is sufficient to the piano teacher) in writing an apology letter. Pure stubbornness (and I should know) doesn't usually account for no comments when the consequences are so high. Even when all was said and done the OP didn't get the answer to the question she sought from her daughter and her daughter took the consequences. So what was the lesson again?
I'm sure the OP does, but then again, posting such personal stuff on the DIS is going to allow for other sides and outside viewpoints regardless of the consensus or non-consensus.
You lost me. And that’s ok.
That’s really good to hear. It sounds like things will be fine. Hang in there!She started a job working at a day care center after school. I am hoping it sparks some joy for her. She loves little kids and they are drawn to her too. Funny thing is that she is extremely respectful to other adults. Her boss goes on and on about how wonderful and helpful she is and how the kids adore her etc.
I guess it's payback time because my dad used to always tell me "You are getting too big for your britches young lady"
I remember a quote I can't find right now, but it was something about toddlers and teens being alike - testing limit hoping to find the secure boundaries.
So true!
Yep - they hold it together "out there" and wait to fall apart in the safety net of home!
I can't believe the pediatrician would tell you that - that's a HIPAA violation. Wonder what she tells others about your daughter?
This. I am a tough cookie, so I can't relate to crying because my child told me not to go places in my own home. My child would be the one crying, because her phone would be gone for a very long time.
The lesson was Mom is not going to back down. Call her bluff and she is still going to follow through. The lesson is for future situations of blatant defiance.
At the surface I would agree. But no one won here and while that's not always the goal I don't see the big picture on the exact consequences given out, I don't disagree on consequences (to your point about OP being right about giving them out) on the contrary if you're going to give them you need to be consistent and follow through with them. I do however think the ones given out were not in line with the daughter's particular actions that led to it they don't match the infraction, Sam did have a good point about it. The issue was crossing legs while playing the piano but the daughter got electronics taken away, no trick or treating and a written apology letter. But how is that relating to not crossing legs while attempting to play the piano. Is this more like a "I'm the parent, you're the child you'll do as I say" moment? I mean perhaps that's what it was intended to be.
