Overdue and Overpacked III: A Tale of Two Cities ~Last Chapter~ 8/22 Page 33

[Tinkerbellarella]

But sadly, I found none of those things. What I did find, instead, was hair (not sure of the origin but I am sure I don’t want to know), several unidentified bug wings, and the largest, blackest specks of dirt you’ve ever seen in your life.
...one pair of ultra cool pink Rock Star sunglasses...
...Found the arm. Along with Elvis’ toenail, Susie Helpershoes’ register journal, and what I believe was a glob of nacho cheese at some point in time.

Now that I've recovered from wretching into my purse, I have to say I'm a little disappointed. No Mel.

We tried to fake the girl out by placing them on her face. All lopsided and missing a lens.

We shot out a weak “You workin’ them glasses”.

Hysterical.

Who knew Mel was hiding out at Ersal Studios all this time?!

Phew. I'm glad to see she found her way out of the seat crack and was able to build herself a 1950's-esque diner.

As we entered the next queue area, my jaw literally dropped as I looked around the room. I wish I had been able to take some pictures of the scene but I know there’s no way it could’ve done the place justice. We walked straight into a redwood forest, one that looked just like a scene from the movie. It was dark and cool and as we walked amongst the giant “redwoods”, we could hear crickets chirping. I have to say the theming, just for the queue area alone, was flat out amazing. It blew us away. Even now, I can’t think of a single ride in Disney that’s any better themed than this one.

Totally, absolutley 100% BORG on this one. I find the ride itself...ok. But the theming of the "preshow" area. OUTSTANDING.

My husband and I were DED where we stood. What’s he been eatin’ out on that boat? Tic tacs?

Also interesting? That they couldn't think of a proper picture for that last one. So they were just kind of like, "Eh. Just leave it blank. Let's go hang out in the E.T. queue."

Now, normally I ain’t down with spinning. Spinning rides make me want to heave. And not in a good way. But this was really fast. And really fun.

Ok, I'm un-BORG with you here. The first time I rode this and we progressed into the tornado that is the last few seconds of the ride, I instantly felt a week's worth of meals clamoring to re-enter the world. It took all I had not to shower my fellow alien-zappers with, er, presents.

Now I know ahead of time and mentally prepare myself for that part of the ride.

One would think I would just avoid it, considering its adverse gastroenterological effects. But it's just too cool.

DH joined us shortly and declared The Mummy to be one of the most fun rides ever.

I agree. It's on my top 5 coaster list.

But not nearly as amazing as what was waiting for us in our hotel room when we arrived.

Mel!?
The other black pump?!
Butter Grilled Poundcake?!

Yay for the update. It's nice to start the day with a smile.

 

[Chapter 11]

Found the arm. Along with Elvis’ toenail, Susie Helpershoes’ register journal, and what I believe was a glob of nacho cheese at some point in time.

Okay, that was entirely unnecessary.

We saw E.T. at the end of the ride and told him to be good. But what with all the chatter about the No Parents sign, we completely missed the fact that he calls your name out as you pass by. That’s why they needed a name for the Interplanetary Passport. So E.T. could tell you goodbye and call you by name on your way out. Which is a very cool concept.

Funny -- the summer after I graduated law school, and before I started working for the rest of my life, my wife and I took a vacation to California. One of our stops was Ersal Studios in L.A. (Studio City, to be exact), and they had just put the E.T. ride in there (this was the summer of 1991). The ride in SoCal sounds much the same as the one in Orlando, including the whole "give me your name" at the start of the ride. So I chose "Bubba" and my wife chose "Bessie Sue". Because we're wicked cool like that. It was the funniest thing to hear E.T. say "Thank you Bubba" in his E.T. voice (which voice, by the way, sounds like the little alien has been smoking about 3 packs a day in between shots of Jim Beam). Spent the rest of the vacation saying that to each other and giggling like schoolgirls (well, me not so much with the whole schoolgirl thing, but you get the point). To this day, some 17 years later, I can still hear that voice as clear as a bell. Thanks for the stroll down memory lane.

Nothing out of the ordinary here. Let’s go in for a closer look.

One shudders to think what the signs pointing to the restroom look like (I'm picturing the "Calvin peeing" decal that probably adorns your pickup truck -- the one with the gun rack in it and the coon hound in the back, guarding the moonshine, not the other one).

Nice installment (I'm not even going to comment on the 23 bazillion vomit references).

 

[praisehisname]

All that blind scraping and tapping around I was doing had caused the nasty concoction to become lodged underneath my nails. They were like ten little miniature shovels.

You have ten fingernails on one hand? You really ARE a redneck, aren't you?

Hey, I see ZZUB! He let his beard grow, and he must have on his toupe...

LaLa, you are doing an awesome job on this report! You are really making me want to check out Universal!!!

Denise

 

[PrincessV]

Who knew Mel was hiding out at Ersal Studios all this time?!

Is THIS what she means by "Up North"?!

Being Floridian, I'm intrigued by the one above the spewing boat rider, as well. You May Get Struck By Lightning???




I have a confession - I've lived down here nearly 20 years and I've never been to Universal. I know. Just never thought there was anything all that exciting on which I was missing out. Clearly, I've been sorely mistaken. Everything you guys did sounds great!

 

[GeorgiaAristocat]

Great chapter La! You are making me curious as well. But I think I will wait until Harry Potter World is open. I definitely want to go to that, so may as well wait . . .

 

[tina_la]

Great chapter La! You are making me curious as well. But I think I will wait until Harry Potter World is open. I definitely want to go to that, so may as well wait . . .

2009 I'll see you there That's what we are waiting on too.

Lala I have a little envy here. Went back in 1993 and made it inside only to find out ET was suddenly out of order. Waited forever (I think we ran into 1994 while we waited) and still didn't get on the ride. Yes I am still bitter and haven't been back since.
Actually just waiting on the kids to get a little older to enjoy the coasters and HP is the perfect excuse to go. If I happen to plan another trip and it happens by way of Disney so be it.

 

[ZZUB]

I wish I could report that after rummaging around blindly in the seat crack in Shrek that day, I was able to recover any one of the following:

The mate to my favorite black pump, missing for over a year now Have you checked your mom's purse?
My old Milli Vanilli cassette tape (don’t even front, you know you liked ‘em too) Nope. That's pretty much all you.
2.8 bazillion dollars Think of all the lottery tickets you could buy with that kind of money.
Colonel Sander’s secret recipe I believe the dead Mr. Sanders would prefer if you didn't singularize his name.
Mel Happyhaunt Now what would Mel be doing hiding out in a seat crack? Second thought, scratch that question.
What’s left of my dignity Fat chance.

But I finally felt the tip of the glasses and got somewhat giddy as I attempted to raise them. Must’ve been similar to what it felt like to find the Titanic.

Yeah, that's probably exactly what it was like to find the Titanic. We'll call you LaLaBallard.

making sure she spelled “LaLa” the correct way, and she handed us our passports.

One can hardly imagine the kind of stink you'd raise if they misspelled your name. But how do you misspell LaLa? Put in a silent e or perhaps a silent K?

we doubled back and hit E.T. again.

Why such violence? What did he ever do to you?

I haven't been to Universal Studios since the mid-90s. It was before Islands of Adventure opened. I remembered really liking it. For some reason, we thought Jaws was hysterical. I remember laughing my butt off. We rode it twice or three times in a row.

I enjoyed this little chapter of yours. Mostly b/c I wasn't eating as I read it.

 

[jcc0621]

Great update. I am really thinking that next year we may need to add a day or 2 at Universal for DS, of course

I was there the first year IOA opened and remember enjoying it. DS wil be almost 6 next year, so I think he will enjoy it!

 

[duckylady]

You're starting to get me curious about Universal! Blasphemy!

...E.T. does look fun though.

I can't wait for the next installment!

 

[nicolemarie]

You're really convincing on this Universal thing. I'm kinda feelin' the Ersal love, even though I've never been there. That's the mark of a good trip report, I guess.

My old Milli Vanilli cassette tape (don’t even front, you know you liked ‘em too)

ZZUB might try and front, but I'm not.

Yeah. I loved me some Milli Vanilli. I had the "cassingle." Girl, you know it's true.

Although my husband can build a deck, pour a sidewalk and assemble a hulk of a playset all by himself in just under seventy three hours

All that AND a six pack? You GO, Mr. La!

We walked out of the theatre and realized it was around eleven at this point so we thought we’d make the girl feel better by grabbing some lunch with a friend.

What's wrong with just buying her a new pair of sunglasses? I know they probably had some good ones to choose from. Sunglasses AND a cheeseburger. Sounds like good times, to me.

My husband and I were DED where we stood. What’s he been eatin’ out on that boat? Tic tacs?

No way, La! Those aren't tic tacs. Those are chunks. And one's fixin' to get lodged in the back of his throat.

You're welcome.

They were so small even Elvis could’ve hiked his tail on up there and taken care of bidness if he'd wanted to. He wouldn’t have flushed though. Or left the seat up. Because he lacks the strength and opposable thumbs.

I spent more time than I'd like to admit thinking about why Elvis Presley lacked strength and opposable thumbs.

But I just need to know if you locked the door to the stall. Cause I've heard things.

We watched the scene, then high fived each other and snickered to ourselves. And threw them all the L to the forehead. As we held up our resort card keys and flashed them around for everybody to see. While yelling “Can you deal with that?!”

That sounds like a scene right outta the NM Family Playbook. If we go to Universal and stay on property (which we most definitely would after this report), we'd be talkin' all kinds of smack to all the non-property riff raff. Nothin' like some special privileges to give you the big head.

As we exited the ride, we shimmied on into the sizable dump shop to the tune of Men in Black. I love that song. Always have. Even back when it was just a song about a bunch of forget me nots. And it put a little skip in my step as we walked down the ramp. I may have sung along and did the double clap by my head (you know you do it too) and the girl may have boogied with me for just a second or two.

Yet another freaky borg, my friend. I LOVE me some MIB. And while we're at it, Gettin' Jiggy Wit It, too.

That ride sounds REALLY cool and REALLY fun. I'm tellin' ya, I'm gettin' ready to close out the Disboards and do some Universal pricing. Stoppit.

I’ve grown up on the coast and when I was little, my family went out on the boat every weekend. Every single one. Every time we’d go out, my mom would always stuff us full of food. Coming and going. Because she’s a mom and as such, food is her way of nurturing. “Here, little LaLa, have a tuna sandwich. With cheese", she'd say. "And wash it all down with this nice big mug of orange juice I brought along for you. It’s good for you, you know.”

Girl, I'm all about ya Mama showin' the love with the food, but OJ? On a boat? To wash down a tuna and cheese? I'm gonna hurl just thinking back on it FOR YOU.

Nasty!!

As we waited, we watched Chappie and his friend walk around scaring people.

And here I was thinkin' Chappie was all about short.

But not nearly as amazing as what was waiting for us in our hotel room when we arrived.

Towels shaped into Mickey ears?

Nah, wrong cool theme park.

I'm looking VERY FORWARD to more of this report, La. I'm glad you're sharing with us Disney Freaks, that it's possible to have a great time on "the dark side." Keep it coming.

 

[CJsMom]

Hmm, Ersal Studios is starting to sound better and better. Shall I revise my November 2009 plans?

 

[LaLa]

Goofyluver, jcc0621, duckylady, LISAMWDW, MomofCKJ, CJ's Mom: Glad you're enjoying the TR and thanks for posting!

Well, you've done it. First I had "Don't Bring Me Down" by everyone's favorite ELO stuck in my head for a week. Now, I'm praying Bono finds whatever he's looking for so that I won't have to hear that song.

Great installment!

I will admit, I was an avid non-Universal person. I called it "The Dark Side" constantly. After the pictures and descriptions, I'm kind of wondering what it's all about... Scary!!!

You could do a whole lot worse than having Don't Bring Me Down in your head. And Universal's not all that scary. Well, except for the seat cracks. Those are VERY scary. Glad you're enjoying the TR.

Mental imagery confusing...TK's brain on overlaod...cute, innocent yet curious monkey frolicking with scooby snacked beatniks...

It was the strangest scene ever. Just imagine Scooby Doo, Shaggy, Curious George and the Man in the Big Yellow Hat all jumping around and doing the Hamma to the Bangles. Weirdness personified.

I am totally lovin your TR - it's so much fun to read, and after, um, going to Ersal Studios myself back in March (using the VIP pass of family member who just happens to be a VIP at Ersal - oh yeah!) I know what you mean about Express vs FastPass. And yes, we gloated all day long, too! It's amazing! We did ERsal and IOA in one day - and hit everything!!!! Looking forward to reading more!

Thanks, glad you're enjoying it. My husband and I agreed that if we had been there without having the Express pass, we probably wouldn't have liked it nearly as much. As far as we could tell, it's just not worth going unless you have those babies.

Also interesting? That they couldn't think of a proper picture for that last one. So they were just kind of like, "Eh. Just leave it blank. Let's go hang out in the E.T. queue."

I read this earlier and no lie, I've been laughing about it all day. Thanks for bringing the funny, Tinkerbellarella.

Funny -- the summer after I graduated law school, and before I started working for the rest of my life, my wife and I took a vacation to California. One of our stops was Ersal Studios in L.A. (Studio City, to be exact), and they had just put the E.T. ride in there (this was the summer of 1991). The ride in SoCal sounds much the same as the one in Orlando, including the whole "give me your name" at the start of the ride. So I chose "Bubba" and my wife chose "Bessie Sue". Because we're wicked cool like that. It was the funniest thing to hear E.T. say "Thank you Bubba" in his E.T. voice (which voice, by the way, sounds like the little alien has been smoking about 3 packs a day in between shots of Jim Beam). Spent the rest of the vacation saying that to each other and giggling like schoolgirls (well, me not so much with the whole schoolgirl thing, but you get the point). To this day, some 17 years later, I can still hear that voice as clear as a bell. Thanks for the stroll down memory lane.

You're welcome, Bubba. But you wanna know something funny? I also went on vacation to California in the summer of 1991 and went to Universal Studios in L.A. (or if we're being precise, Studio City) while we were out there. So, freaky borg, Bubba Chapster. We could've been there at the same time. You weren't the guy wearing the mohawk and ripped jeans, were you? And how funny is E.T.'s voice? It's kind of like what Kathleen Turner would sound like if she had a really bad cold. And spoke in staccato.

One shudders to think what the signs pointing to the restroom look like (I'm picturing the "Calvin peeing" decal that probably adorns your pickup truck -- the one with the gun rack in it and the coon hound in the back, guarding the moonshine, not the other one).

Silly man, only people named Bubba drive pickups like that. So does Bessie Sue scoot right next to you and sit in the middle instead of the passenger seat? Because if not, you just ain't South.

You have ten fingernails on one hand? You really ARE a redneck, aren't you?

This killed me DED. Oops. I used my Frick Math.

I have a confession - I've lived down here nearly 20 years and I've never been to Universal. I know. Just never thought there was anything all that exciting on which I was missing out. Clearly, I've been sorely mistaken. Everything you guys did sounds great!

Well get your butt over there pronto. It really is a fun place.

Great chapter La! You are making me curious as well. But I think I will wait until Harry Potter World is open. I definitely want to go to that, so may as well wait . . .

Hey GA. Good to see you over here, woman. Go ahead and make some plans for 2009 because I really think yall would like it. Thanks for stopping by.

2009 I'll see you there That's what we are waiting on too.

Lala I have a little envy here. Went back in 1993 and made it inside only to find out ET was suddenly out of order. Waited forever (I think we ran into 1994 while we waited) and still didn't get on the ride. Yes I am still bitter and haven't been back since.
Actually just waiting on the kids to get a little older to enjoy the coasters and HP is the perfect excuse to go. If I happen to plan another trip and it happens by way of Disney so be it.

Sorry you didn't make it onto E.T. That's a bummer. I'm DED that it was 1993 and you're still bitter over it though. But then again, the ride was so cool it's probably worth being bitter about getting the shut out. Sorry.

The mate to my favorite black pump, missing for over a year now Have you checked your mom's purse? Now that was funny. And helpful all at the same time.
My old Milli Vanilli cassette tape (don’t even front, you know you liked ‘em too) Nope. That's pretty much all you. You know as soon as I said that you ran over to find Girl I'm Gonna Miss You and Baby Don't Forget My Number on iTines. Or is your iPod storage space already maxed out with the hip vocal stylings of Hanson?
2.8 bazillion dollars Think of all the lottery tickets you could buy with that kind of money. I'd never blow money like that on lottery tickets, ZZUB. What kind of idiot do you think I am? Please! I'd act much more responsibly than that. I'd put it all on one hand of roulette. Double or nothin' baby.
Colonel Sander’s secret recipe I believe the dead Mr. Sanders would prefer if you didn't singularize his name. And I believe he probably doesn't care one way or the other right about now.
Mel Happyhaunt Now what would Mel be doing hiding out in a seat crack? I don't know but it's gotta be better than hanging out in a tent in the Northwoods.
What’s left of my dignity Fat chance. You have NO IDEA how prophetic this statement was, considering the horrific, unimaginably humiliating events that unfolded at my new office today. I won't go into details but let's just say I put the door lock on Ignore. AGAIN! At the worst possible moment. As a result, I don't expect Mr. Belcher to make eye contact with me for the next twelve, thirteen years.

I haven't been to Universal Studios since the mid-90s. It was before Islands of Adventure opened. I remembered really liking it. For some reason, we thought Jaws was hysterical. I remember laughing my butt off.

Obviously you were drunk. You must've been hittin' that sweet tea a little too hard beforehand because there's nothing funny about Jaws. It's like leaving just one chip in the bag. Not funny. Well, unless you wind up with the same "skipper" we did. Then and only then is the ride hysterical.

Congrats on the BGPC.

ZZUB might try and front, but I'm not.

Yeah. I loved me some Milli Vanilli. I had the "cassingle." Girl, you know it's true.

DED over the cassingle! I knew my girl NM would have my back. And ZZUB may try to front, but we've got his number. I have no doubt he's wearing a pair of spandex capris and is busy practicing the dance moves (complete with all the nose wiping) from this little classic with Bubba right about now...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwsMy8_UvM0

No way, La! Those aren't tic tacs. Those are chunks. And one's fixin' to get lodged in the back of his throat.

You're welcome

You are SO WRONG for that! I physically gagged when I read it. You're working your way toward Ignore with the chunk in the back of the throat crap.

But I just need to know if you locked the door to the stall. Cause I've heard things.

DED! I'm going to crawl back into my hole now.

Yet another freaky borg, my friend. I LOVE me some MIB. And while we're at it, Gettin' Jiggy Wit It, too.

Off to find that little ditty on iTunes. I love me some Will Smith.

And here I was thinkin' Chappie was all about short.

Stilts. They're the new elevator shoes.

 

[praisehisname]

DED over the cassingle! I knew my girl NM would have my back. And ZZUB may try to front, but we've got his number. I have no doubt he's wearing a pair of spandex capris and is busy practicing the dance moves (complete with all the nose wiping) from this little classic with Bubba right about now...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwsMy8_UvM0

I had forgotten all about that video!!! Both of my girls came running to see what I was watching. They were convinced it was a parody and not the real thing!!! Thanks for the belly laugh to start my day!

Denise

 

[scrap4u]

Hey La2, you make Universal sound so much better then what I remember of it from 2004! We might have to reconsider it again. We weren't on site--we were onsite at DW--but paid for the express passes. Difference was--at least at that time--you could only use it once per person per ride. So you couldn't get in the express lane mulitple times for the same ride.

Oh! And I got the Elvis thing talking about the thumbs. You're talking about your lovely kitty, not Mr. Presley!

Keep it coming!

 

[ZZUB]

You have NO IDEA how prophetic this statement was, considering the horrific, unimaginably humiliating events that unfolded at my new office today. I won't go into details but let's just say I put the door lock on Ignore. AGAIN! At the worst possible moment. As a result, I don't expect Mr. Belcher to make eye contact with me for the next twelve, thirteen years.

This is at least the SECOND time you have failed to lock a bathroom door in public. THAT WE ARE AWARE OF! There's no telling how many times you've done this and NOT told us.

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!!!!!

It's not that hard a concept. You go in a public bathroom, you lock the door.

Duh!

Why do you feel the need to bare all to your co-workers? Are you gunning for a billboard?

Don't answer that.

 

[hucifer]

LaLa! I just discovered your third TR today and read all 19 pages in one sitting. I haven't read your second one yet because after my son was born, the DISboards took a backseat to my new duties.

Loving this report so far, but it seems like you're taking longer than usual to finish. What up wit dat?

You are totally convincing me to stay at Universal the next time we decide to hit the parks there...I hate waiting in lines, which is why we always vacation in September. Now that we have a little one in our family, Sept may not be a realistic time to vacation.

Looking forward to the rest of your TR! And reading your second one!

 

[LaLa]

Are you gunning for a billboard?

Nope. I'm gunning for Employee of the Month.

I knew you'd have a dumb comment or two and if I wasn't still so embarassed about the whole thing, I would've laughed out loud at the gigantic red letters. For the record, I have ALWAYS locked the door behind me. Always. Except for the times I forgot about it. Seriously, I could lock the door a hundred times in a row and nobody would ever try to bust up in the bathroom but let me forget JUST ONCE (or twice) and that's when a four alarm fire's gonna go off in some male co-worker's belly, causing him to throw the door wide open with reckless abandon. Much to my chagrin. But thanks for the pep talk, ZZUB. I'm feeling much better about the whole sordid affair now.

Hey La2, you make Universal sound so much better then what I remember of it from 2004! We might have to reconsider it again. We weren't on site--we were onsite at DW--but paid for the express passes. Difference was--at least at that time--you could only use it once per person per ride. So you couldn't get in the express lane mulitple times for the same ride.

Oh! And I got the Elvis thing talking about the thumbs. You're talking about your lovely kitty, not Mr. Presley!

That would stink about the Express passes. Well, it would be better than nothing but still, nothing beats being able to ride as many times as you want. DH and I had a few conversations about how the express pass is such a huge incentive to stay in their resorts. They've really got their stuff figured out where that's concerned.

And you're right. I was talking about Elvis the cat. You'd think Miss Georgia Bulldog would've been able to figure that one out. But we'll give her a break. Apparently she's too busy working on that low light photography book of hers to catch any obscure Meet the Parents references. Glad you got it though.

I had forgotten all about that video!!! Both of my girls came running to see what I was watching. They were convinced it was a parody and not the real thing!!! Thanks for the belly laugh to start my day!

Denise

I never realized how dumb that video was until I watched it last night. And I was DED! The boy was watching along with me and was outraged over the spandex capris. He kept saying "Mom, why are you watching that?! Their pants don't even fit right! Turn that off, I'm tellin' Dad!"

I guess it's safe to say he ain't a Milli Vanilli fan.

So sad.

 

[LaLa]

LaLa! I just discovered your third TR today and read all 19 pages in one sitting. I haven't read your second one yet because after my son was born, the DISboards took a backseat to my new duties.

Loving this report so far, but it seems like you're taking longer than usual to finish. What up wit dat?

You are totally convincing me to stay at Universal the next time we decide to hit the parks there...I hate waiting in lines, which is why we always vacation in September. Now that we have a little one in our family, Sept may not be a realistic time to vacation.

Looking forward to the rest of your TR! And reading your second one!

Well look who the cat drug in! Hucifer, it's DARN GOOD to see you around, woman! I'm glad you found your way over here. And I'm SO THRILLED to hear you've got yourself a sweet little peanut. And what an ADORABLE little peanut he is! Huge congrats on the birth of your son, Hucifer. Even though it's obviously belated.

And although I'm trying my hardest NOT to let this trip report take forever to finish, I've got a feeling it'll be a little while before it's done as well. Basically, I write when I've got several free minutes (hours, days, months, whatever) and between working full time and taking care of the family, those moments aren't all that easy to come across. But just hang in there with me. I promise I'll eventually finish.

So is the "No Crying in Disneyworld" rule going to apply to the little cutie as well? Good luck with that one.

Seriously, I'm glad you stopped by. And I'm looking forward to seeing you around a little here and there.

 

[hucifer]

Thank you for such a warm welcome!!! And yes, I think my son is adorable too. He took such a long time to come into our lives, I think we're that much more grateful for him. Now I know what it feels like to wear your heart outside of your body. There has never been a more pure love than one for a child. But I digress...

By the time we take Patrick to Disney World, I cannot guarantee that I won't be a blubbery mess. But darnit, I'm going to try to contain myself. After all, there is that No Crying rule.

I have a little time today...I'm going to read your second TR. You know, you really should put a link to your third TR in your sig, too.

Ah well, carry on with the Ersal Studios report when you get the time...I know you won't disappoint.

 

[hucifer]

Before long, he would have them yelling out numbers for no apparent reason.

DH: Eleven. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. Say eleven, son.
The boy: Eleven.
[DH: That was weak. Say it like you mean it, son.
The boy: ELEVEN!
DH: That’s better.

BTW, this was my favorite part so far. I laughed so loud at work that I disturbed my coworkers. I could TOTALLY see Dan and me pulling this kind of stuff on Patrick. And I have to agree that surprising the kids sounds like the best option.

And another observation: you really are the Queen of Digression, aren't you?

Oh, and a complaint: where are the pictures of your FAMILY? I want to see those gorgeous kids of yours! It helps with the story in my head. Please.