My son who is now 17 has AS- believe me it can be a rollercoaster when you don't know what it is.
Mal listed the links I was going to give you. Barb Kirby is great and has a book out that actually has some stories I submitted about my son (not identified but it is us lol). Barb has an online support group link called OASIS- which was a big help for us when we were first discovering Aspergers and the spectrum of autism
Another great person for reference is Tony Attwood- he has more than one book out that are excellent resources and easy to read too
The Autism Society, which is international, will probably have some "local" chapters- the one in my town is great and even holds a camp each summer (just over night but it is a great opportunity for parents and the campers)
You are probably very correct in identifying that you husband has it too- it tends to be genetic- I see traits in myself (I can get a little obsessive about things I'm interested in) and my husband does as well- but no where near the extent that my son did. When he was younger it was very hard- I knew my child was "different" the day he was born- doctors said I was just an over anxious new mom- but I could tell. As he got a little older and entered toddlerhood- he had trouble in day cares- and actually was expelled from 5 day cares. Was suspended from Kindergarten countless times before getting diagnosed with "ADD but different" by a well meaning psychiatrist who really did work wonders with him but who wasn't up on the "new" diagnosis- you will find that some of the "older" doctors may not be as aware of the disorders as some of the newer docs are- but with the increase of the diagnosis (sometimes too much) it is becoming more known. We found out about Asperger's Syndrom from my son's school when he was in 2nd grade- the assistant principal called and asked me to come to the school early to read something- when I read the article she was given by another parent of a student who was joining the school and who had the disorder- I cried- someone had snuck into my son's life and recorded all this information about him- it was all right there.
Funny thing when he was 6 he saw a pediatric neurologist as part of his other psych work up and she said she thought he might be mildly autistic- I'm a nurse and the only experience I had with autism was of the nonverbal- self abusive people or the "Rain Men" of the world. SO we just ignored what she had said and kept trying to fit him into ADD/ADHD- which didn't work.
HE probably had it the toughest when he was in 5th grade- this was the time when he became all too aware of himself being so different from the others and him thinking there was no way to be like the others- he was suicidal and also had trichotillomania (compulsive hair pulling) and had pulled all the hair from his head, eyelashes and eyebrows. He went away to a school near my inlaws that was for boys just like him- but their teaching methods left a lot to be desired and he was really learning worse behaviors being around a bunch of kids who all had behavior and social problems. So he came back home and it took the public school system (he had been in private school before) a month and half to "place" him in a school- he did have an aide at that time and he took her to middle school-
By 7th grade he quit taking all of his medicines and didn't tell us (he had been throwing them away) until about 6 months after we were commenting on how much better he was doing. By 8th grade the change in him was so dramatic that the teachers all gave glowing tributes too him and he even still gets letters from many of his past teachers commenting on things he has taught them.
He will graduate from high school this year- and although things have not been perfect- they haven't been bad- he has a 2.95 gpa although he probably has a 150+ IQ - he does absolutely NO homework and never studies for a test- so those grades are minimal effort. So things have come a circle for us and things we never dreamed he'd accomplish in the past we know he has just as much a chance as any other average kid.
He works each summer now as a counselor at the Autism camp he used to attend - and the past three years has been actively training the new counselors who work the camp too.
Asperger's is a very interesting disorder- some say Thomas Edison, Ben Franklin, Albert Einstein all had the disorder- and there is strong suspician that Bill Gates does have it as well- I do know his kid has an autism spectrum disorder so it is a strong likelihood. I know many have met Aspie's here on the boards and others like it- (you just may not be aware) and still many more have seen the kids on Jay Leno or other shows - you know those little kids that go on the show and are very pedantic and can list tremendous amounts of information to people- those are all Aspies- or at least fall somewhere in the PDD spectrum-
Although almost all Aspies have some similarities- it is very important to remember that there are different presentations of the disorder from person to person- so it sometimes is difficult to diagnose especially those with the milder forms- but in general- they are usually greater than average in intelligence (this doesn't mean straight a's), often have some abilities beyond average (read early, musical abilities, mechanical abilities, etc), frequently have poor handwriting, poor to non-existent social skills, different form of imaginative play (tend to recreate things they have already seen in person, on tv, in books etc and do not develop new situations themselve), to to have strict literal interpretation of things around them and although rules may not always "apply" to them- they hold those in their surroundings to much higher standards, an obsession of some sort is classic (my son went through many he did trains, Nintendo, rocks, pokemon, and more although computers and music are his two steady almost always present obsessions) and these obsessions rule their life- they will often talk of nothing else but these- and for those around them if they learn to use that to an advantage they can greatly improve quality of life for the individual... I'm sure I am missing some things- but in general that is what it is like.
You can't tell an Aspie by looking at them from a distance- and you may not even realize it the first few times you talk to them- some have become great at mimicing others that it takes a good observer a while before they realize that something is a little different. But because of the higher intelligence and usually the strong natural focus on trying to figure other people out- Aspie's usually figure out they are different pretty soon- and it makes dealing with some of the problems easier and makes others more difficult.
One person with Asperger's described themselves as being like an anthropologist from Mars- that has come to Earth to try to figure out the Human Race but has no clue what makes them tick...
Okay- I think I may have rambled on more than needed here- but really feel free to ask any questions- just know that I am leaving for Florida tomorrow and will have variable internet access but will get back to you any time.
I know I have to remind myself from time to time.
