Opinions on this school lunch matter

[Hannathy]

Don't have a problem with it. happens at our elementary school all the time.
It is nobody's business but mine what I feed my child, as long as I am feeding him.

High school kids are allowed to bring in stuff, they usually have an upperclassmen go and get everything.

 

[Michie]

I couldn't imagine bringing in a pizza for a few select children That seems mean. I could see bringing in lunch for your own child, but for a parent to encourage the "You are my friend today, you get pizza from my mom"

I dunno. I think allowing a parent to feed children that are NOT their own is opening the school up for a lawsuit or something. "Our religion doesn't allow Susie to eat meat. What! You gave him Pizza Hut!?!? Our family is boycotting them!" and so forth.

And, again, it seems cruel to the other children.

This wouldn't fly in our school.

They stopped this at our school in concern that a parent might feed another child something they were allergic to.

And yes, I think it is cruel, like a private party.

Now, you can still bring your own child something, but I really wish they would stop it. All of the "lunch run mommies " insist on parking in the bus/drop off lanes.

 

[MzDiz]

I think it has a lot less to do with economical issues than social ones. Honestly, can't these parents wait until 3 o'clock to see their kids? School is for school, not a happy little lunch with a helicopter mom that can't stay away from Junior. Save the lunch for Saturday and let your kid have a whole day on his or her own.

 

[Cool-Beans]

My DD is in first grade. Just last week she told me how a classmate's mom brought him McDonald's for lunch because it was his birthday. Ok, fine - didn't know that was allowed. I've known that parents are allowed to go in and eat lunch with their kids - not something I do, but it seems like a nice idea especially if kids are going through some tough times. But ever since she told me that, I've learned that some parents bring their kids a Happy Meal at least once a week. Our school does serve hot lunch, fyi.

Well today was the kicker. I was helping out at the book fair and as I was leaving I see another mother (who I'm very friendly with) bringing in a pizza. We chit chatted and she said she was bringing a pizza to her daughter and some of her friends. That's seems so...encouraging a clique to me. Plus, I looked at the lunch menu when I got home and the cafeteria was serving pizza today!

I love DD's school, but I'm sort of stunned that people do this. Yes, I buy McDonald's and I could bring in a Happy Meal for my DD once in a while. But it just doesn't seem right to me. Any other thoughts?

Until they were in high school, I'd take the kids McDonalds once a year. I thought it was a nice treat for them.

I have to kind of crack up thinking that people might have been getting all upset over it.

 

[illini]

My DD is in first grade. Just last week she told me how a classmate's mom brought him McDonald's for lunch because it was his birthday. Ok, fine - didn't know that was allowed. I've known that parents are allowed to go in and eat lunch with their kids - not something I do, but it seems like a nice idea especially if kids are going through some tough times. But ever since she told me that, I've learned that some parents bring their kids a Happy Meal at least once a week. Our school does serve hot lunch, fyi.

Well today was the kicker. I was helping out at the book fair and as I was leaving I see another mother (who I'm very friendly with) bringing in a pizza. We chit chatted and she said she was bringing a pizza to her daughter and some of her friends. That's seems so...encouraging a clique to me. Plus, I looked at the lunch menu when I got home and the cafeteria was serving pizza today!

I love DD's school, but I'm sort of stunned that people do this. Yes, I buy McDonald's and I could bring in a Happy Meal for my DD once in a while. But it just doesn't seem right to me. Any other thoughts?

Did this happen in Illinois? Was it me? I just took my son McD's last Friday to school for his 6th bday!

 

[MichelleVW]

I might get flames for this (and go ahead if you want ) but I'm more worried about being told I can't bring a treat for DD because it might upset some other child. Children need to learn that life is not always fair or they are going to have some major problem when they leave school.

If I want to bring DD a happy meal I should be able to. If DD wants to invite her best friend to her birthday party I shouldn't have to invite 21 other student as well. I'm not going to make DD do without because I can't provide for the whole school and the other student's parents may not be able to provide it for them.

While we shouldn't go out of our way to hurt others feelings we shouldn't have to contantly be asking ourselves "can the other student's parents buy the same stuff?"

No flames from me...I am in total and complete agreement with you. I get so tired of the "It's not fair" crap.....it's not fair that Suzi gets a twinkie in her lunch and my kids get a granola bar.....get over it..

When we were visiting my brother a few months ago my 10 year old niece wanted my husband and I to go eat lunch with her....we brought McDonalds and we heard a few, "wow, you're lucky" that was it....She was happy and the center of attention because Aunt Michelle and Uncle John from out of town brought her lunch and ate with her....

No, I don't think I would bring pizza for just a few, but a Happy meal...I don't see the damage...

seriously kids need to learn that life isn't fair....

 

[MichelleVW]

I think it has a lot less to do with economical issues than social ones. Honestly, can't these parents wait until 3 o'clock to see their kids? School is for school, not a happy little lunch with a helicopter mom that can't stay away from Junior. Save the lunch for Saturday and let your kid have a whole day on his or her own.

I only did it once or twice a year.....and I am the farthest from a helicopter mom than you can get....

 

[momto2girls]

I might get flames for this (and go ahead if you want ) but I'm more worried about being told I can't bring a treat for DD because it might upset some other child. Children need to learn that life is not always fair or they are going to have some major problem when they leave school.

If I want to bring DD a happy meal I should be able to. If DD wants to invite her best friend to her birthday party I shouldn't have to invite 21 other student as well. I'm not going to make DD do without because I can't provide for the whole school and the other student's parents may not be able to provide it for them.

While we shouldn't go out of our way to hurt others feelings we shouldn't have to contantly be asking ourselves "can the other student's parents buy the same stuff?"

ITA!

 

[SunKat]

I've never heard of this practice before so it must not be common here. I do know that if a child forgets his/her lunch at home the parent can bring it in but it must be left in the office and the child has to pick it up. Parents aren't allowed in the cafeteria to eat with their kids or bring them a special lunch. I wonder who makes the policy, is it by individual school, district, state??

 

[RitaZ.]

That's not allowed at our school and I'm glad for that. I'm anti-clique, so I find it rude for a parent to only share/bring food with/to a few select friends. Lunch and recess are the only times during the school day that kids get to socialize with their friends. They can have pizza or any other favorite foods outside of school. Just let them be while they're at school.

My friend used to volunteer at her son's middle school so that she could eat lunch with him. She was concerned that he had trouble making friends, but I don't think she realized that she was adding to the problem.

 

[KikiFan]

I might get flames for this (and go ahead if you want ) but I'm more worried about being told I can't bring a treat for DD because it might upset some other child. Children need to learn that life is not always fair or they are going to have some major problem when they leave school.

If I want to bring DD a happy meal I should be able to. If DD wants to invite her best friend to her birthday party I shouldn't have to invite 21 other student as well. I'm not going to make DD do without because I can't provide for the whole school and the other student's parents may not be able to provide it for them.

While we shouldn't go out of our way to hurt others feelings we shouldn't have to contantly be asking ourselves "can the other student's parents buy the same stuff?"

It's one thing if a parent brings a meal to share with their own child. I've done that, although ours was sushi not McDonalds!

But can't you see how mean it is if you bring a pizza and say, "Joe, Mary, Johnny you guys can eat with us!" And the rest of the kids sit there watching while you get to eat pizza? That's pretty rude in my opinion.

 

[goofy's friends]

Our school just made rules on this as well. The feeding other peoples' kids came into it and so did the kids feeling left out. (They would let each kid choose 2-3 people to come and eat with them at back tables.) The rules changed to you could bring in lunch for your kid and eat just the 2 of you at the back tables or sit with your kids' class. No more choosing one -three kids. It did cut down on problems. I see nothing wrong with an occasional visit from an adult who brings a fast food meal. It's a treat, that's all. I agree that we can't always be fair to every kid. Kids do have to learn that life's not always fair. That being said, I did it once a year for each kid and that's it. Otherwise, it wouldn't have been a treat, it would have been an expectation.

 

[castleview]

While we shouldn't go out of our way to hurt others feelings we shouldn't have to contantly be asking ourselves "can the other student's parents buy the same stuff?"

I see your point on the Happy Meals but I think bringing pizza for one kid and their friends only is going out of the way to hurt other's feelings. If it's not being done deliberately, than it's being done with incredible self centeredness.

 

[BabyPiglet]

Oh please, big deal.

At my old high school people brought pizza for their friends all the time. And I know it's not the same as elementary.

In elem. our parents were allowed to bring whatever they felt like, I mean they are our parents, I think they should be in charge of what we eat.


I don't see the big deal.

 

[autumnbaby9]

It's one thing if a parent brings a meal to share with their own child. I've done that, although ours was sushi not McDonalds!

But can't you see how mean it is if you bring a pizza and say, "Joe, Mary, Johnny you guys can eat with us!" And the rest of the kids sit there watching while you get to eat pizza? That's pretty rude in my opinion.

Happened more than once while I was in school, never bothered me much. I was taught from a young age that I wasn't going to be included in everything and that I needed to deal with it.

Why should they bring me pizza if I'm not their friend? and why should I have to bring them pizza if their not my friend? I don't throw a fit if someone at work buys food for their friends and don't give me any and I don't see any difference, but that is just me.

 

[Beth76]

I only did it once or twice a year.....and I am the farthest from a helicopter mom than you can get....

I'm anti-hovering too, but I brought McDonald's for my son on his birthday. And I sat down and ate it with him. It is allowed at our school and I even "cleared" it with his teacher. I work in his class an hour each week and all the kids were so excited that I was eating with them.

Never in a million years would I bring pizza for him and a few friends. I don't think that should be allowed. Unless it was brought for everyone in the class and cleared with the parents beforehand.

 

[autumnbaby9]

I see your point on the Happy Meals but I think bringing pizza for one kid and their friends only is going out of the way to hurt other's feelings. If it's not being done deliberately, than it's being done with incredible self centeredness.

I don't see it as going out of the way to be rude or hurt others feelings. Going out of your way to hurt anothers feeling falls in the line of (JMO obviously) "your ugly, your fat, you don't wear the right clothes, your stupid." eating food with her friends not so much.

Now if my DD rubed it in the others faces, "my mom brought pizza and you can't have any nana nana nana," I would never bring it again.

 

[goodeats]

I have fond memories of my mom occasionally bringing me McDonald's to school (elementary only, would have died if she did it later!). I never experienced the pizza/clique thing. I can see how that could be a problem, but I don't see a problem with the McDonald's thing!

 

[va32h]

I understand that it would be nice for DD. Yet for all I know the kid sitting next to her is on free lunch and/or his parents are working. I'm afraid seeing my daughter eat a Happy Meal would be an extra pressure on him.

There will always be something that one child has that another child doesn't.

Most of the kids in my daughter's school come from homes where the parents are divorced - I feel badly for them, but I'm not going to leave my husband so that my daughter's classmates don't get jealous of her for having parents who are still married!

My daughter is envious of one her friends for being an only chld. (My dd is the oldest, and yes her little brother and sister can be a pest). But I'm not going to ask this friend's parents to stop spending money on their child, stop taking her places our large family can't afford, or to please have another kid, just so my child will stop feeling bad.

And yes, those are dramatic examples - but if we decide that every decision we make for our child must be balanced against how it would make any other child feel - where do we stop?

Bringing food for a small group of children is rude. It's rude to bring things for some, but not all, of a group. And it would be rude in a school cafeteria, or in an office breakroom.

But I really don't want the school telling me what my own kid can and can't have for lunch. That's not their place.

In our school the rules are this: children are not allowed to share or trade food, period. So a parent could not bring pizza for anyone besides her child. Parents can eat with their child - but only one adult guest at a time. We can bring food from outside. We can bring special treats for the whole class if it is a birthday.

They do have one weird (IMO) rule - which is that children who bring their lunch have to have at least four different things in their lunchbox. If they don't, the kid has to take a school lunch and his account is charged. I found this out when I sent my son to school with a ham sandwich, pretzels, and lemonade and he had to take full lunch tray (which he did not touch). Normally, I would have thrown in a dessert, but we were out of chocolate chip cookies, and he didn't like any of the other types of desserts I did have.

I did it amusing that adding cookies to his lunchbox would have made the school consider his lunch more appropriate.

 

[Dina]

I see your point on the Happy Meals but I think bringing pizza for one kid and their friends only is going out of the way to hurt other's feelings. If it's not being done deliberately, than it's being done with incredible self centeredness.

I agree. Bringing your kid a happy meal is one thing (I really don't agree with it, but it doesn't really bother me), but having a little mini-party is just cruel. Maybe it's the teacher in me--- I had cafeteria duty for 3 years, and I know how hard lunch can be for some kids to begin with, and a little exclusive pizza party just doesn't belong in school IMO. We had one kid who's mother refused to give him lunch money or even lunch every day. The vice principal came down to lunch and gave this kid a few bucks every single day. There are also always one or two other kids who can't find anyone who really wants to sit with them. It's heartbreaking. You'd be surprised how hard some kids have it--- this is just adding to their misery.