Opinions on this school lunch matter

[Katy Belle]

When we lived in Houston this was allowed. There was one mother who made a big deal over bringing her DD a fast food meal everyday. The teacher finally asked her to come only once a week because the girl wasn't making friends, she was relying on her mom to talk to at lunch.

One time this mom said that her DH mentioned that it may make the other children sad to not get the lunch and the toy. She said she told him that if their mothers loved them they could do it too. None of us quite knew what to say when she relayed that story!!!!

Katy

 

[meandtheguys2]

It happens here; I don't do it but don't care if others do. Some parents come and eat the school lunch with their kids everyday, too. None of it is my business.

But for you nice folks yelling 'clique' and 'anti-community fosterng'...well YEAH. It's going to happen regardless of whether it's over food, clothes, grades, after-school activities, whatever. We are all created equal, yes, but we're not all the same and we're going to assimilate ourselves to those that are most like us.

Little Jane and Johnny might as well start figuring out now the truth - that life is NOT fair in the least bit. I think we shield our kids too much from reality, IMO.

Clique is a funny word...it is only a clique if you or your kid doesn't belong. Otherwise...it is just a group of friends.

I also believe that parents should be involved in their schools. The more adults kids have actively involved in their lives, the better.

 

[believe]

My DH goes to the girls school atleast once a week for lunch, he works 2nd shift so his time is limited with them during the week. He also volunteers in the classroom a couple times a month. We have not taken McDonald's but plan to as a special treat. I would never take a pizza for the select few. I don't see taking McDonald's any different than a kid who gets their lunch packed with all sweets or other items the kids want to moon over. Believe me, there are kids who have more junk in their lunch boxes than nutritious food.

When is spending time with your kids a bad thing...for those saying let the kids have the day to themselves??? Our kids ask for us to come have lunch with them and to their classroom. I honestly feel sorry for the kids who parents can't do this. I see so many parents take the day off work to clean, do yard work or get their nails done, rather than have lunch with their kids or volunteer. I believe by having lunch with our kids and/or volunteering it lets them know how supportive we are of them succeeding in school as well as getting to know their friends. Our DDs friends can't wait for us to visit. They all try to be in line first so they can sit at DDs tables.

As for the school lockdown....all schools around here have the process. DH and I make sure we get our criminal checks on a regular basis, I think it is every 3 years it has to be done. We sign in, wear the badge and sign out. I am thankful they do this.

 

[kdibattista]

Bringing in lunch for you and your child... ok
Brining in lunch for a select few of your child's friends... not ok

 

[auntpolly]

Clique is a funny word...it is only a clique if you or your kid doesn't belong. Otherwise...it is just a group of friends.
.

I disagree - if the mom is bringing in something special for a chosen few - it's cliquey. I'll bet it's different with boys (foods here, let's eat it), but with girls it takes on a whole new meaning - who is included, who's not, yada yada. I took DD out for lunch once in awhile if she felt like it - I mean once or twice a year, not frequently. I helped out at lunch once in awhile and got to know her whole class - I brought them stickers, all of them, when I came.

 

[castleview]

My DH goes to the girls school atleast once a week for lunch, he works 2nd shift so his time is limited with them during the week. He also volunteers in the classroom a couple times a month. We have not taken McDonald's but plan to as a special treat. I would never take a pizza for the select few. I don't see taking McDonald's any different than a kid who gets their lunch packed with all sweets or other items the kids want to moon over. Believe me, there are kids who have more junk in their lunch boxes than nutritious food.

When is spending time with your kids a bad thing...for those saying let the kids have the day to themselves??? Our kids ask for us to come have lunch with them and to their classroom. I honestly feel sorry for the kids who parents can't do this. I see so many parents take the day off work to clean, do yard work or get their nails done, rather than have lunch with their kids or volunteer. I believe by having lunch with our kids and/or volunteering it lets them know how supportive we are of them succeeding in school as well as getting to know their friends. Our DDs friends can't wait for us to visit. They all try to be in line first so they can sit out DDs tables.

.

I think allowing parents at the cafeteria was meant for situations like your husband's. What I'm amazed at is those that take it to the extreme. BTW, I totally agree about volunteering and considered myself blessed to be able to do that once in a while.

 

[Christine]

My kids are now in middle and high school.

When they were at the public elementary school, this was a big thing. Some of these moms would come almost everyday with their little happy meals. They would bring it for their kids and some of their kids friends.

Did I like it? Not really. I think it encourages junk food eating. I also think that kids should spend some time during the school day, in the lunchroom, navigating their own PEERS without mommy there.

On the other hand, I have no problem with it occurring once in awhile as a special treat.

 

[MushyMushy]

I only did it once or twice a year.....and I am the farthest from a helicopter mom than you can get....

Same here! I just don't see a problem with it, but I really don't like the whole buying for a select few. To be honest, the kids aren't particularly paying attention to what others are eating at the table that I've noticed.

At any rate, I hate going to the cafeteria. I'd rather take them out for that time. They usually have recess right after lunch, so if we go beyond the half hour, it's all good. I just surprised her with a trip to KFC the other day and she was thrilled.

I never heard of any of this!

I just KNOW I would have been MORTIFIED if my Mom showed up at school to bring me lunch!!!!

My DS used to ask me to come eat with him... in elementary school. After that, forget it! Although I do remember him asking at least once at the middle school.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I love DD's school, but I'm sort of stunned that people do this. Yes, I buy McDonald's and I could bring in a Happy Meal for my DD once in a while. But it just doesn't seem right to me. Any other thoughts?

In my dd's school you can only bring in food for your child. So in that respect it does work well. There are parents that are in once a week.
I don't care.

The bringing in food for others, I can see being an issue. I am surprised the school allows that.

I have only eaten once with dd....in fact it was a few weeks ago. We brought her Culver's. No McD's for my kid, she wouldn't eat it.

BTW....I work in the school cafeteria's. I don't see bringing in fast food occasionally as any less healthy....sorry.

 

[Momto3Disneyprinces]

Ok, I can't even begin to describe how wrong this practice is on so many levels....

1. Nutrition - haven't we been berating the schools enough about how unhealthy lunches are, and how so many students are overweight? How is bringing fast food to them teaching them better nutrition habits?...If you want to have it occasionally at home, fine, but it directly goes against what students are being taught in health class.

2. Cliques - to bring this much individual attention onto your child is just not right...Kids need to socialize amongst their peers, and they cannot do this with a parent visiting. And to only include a few kids is just wrong. Life is not fair, but this is going out of your way to make these kids stand out from the rest of the students.

3. My child complains about not having enough time to stand in line for milk, and then eat the lunch I pack, never mind have a nice visit with Mom...How much time do other areas give for lunch? My kid is lucky to choke down the sandwich, juice box, and pretzels I send. (shame on me, but he doesn't really need/have time for desert. Plus he gets something deserty for snack usually...granola bar and fruit or yogurt and fruit.)

4. Our school has a no sharing policy for allergies, so I could not send in food for his friends if I wanted to. No food for anything other than my own kid's lunch is allowed. This is to combat allergies, and poor nutrtion. Celebrations can still be had for birthdays and such, but they are just wished well, and some of the teachers may give them a special pencil or something.

 

[meandtheguys2]

I disagree - if the mom is bringing in something special for a chosen few - it's cliquey. I'll bet it's different with boys (foods here, let's eat it), but with girls it takes on a whole new meaning - who is included, who's not, yada yada. I took DD out for lunch once in awhile if she felt like it - I mean once or twice a year, not frequently. I helped out at lunch once in awhile and got to know her whole class - I brought them stickers, all of them, when I came.

You could have a point, I've been raising boys for quite a while.

OTOH, I am a girl, and I do remember hanging out with different groups of people depending on where i was at the time. Sure, sometimes I felt left out, and I'm sure sometimes people felt left out from the groups I was in. It isn't much different than being an adult. You just learn that you can't be "in" with everyone. And you learn to be content with your choices.

For example, I will NEVER be one of the soccer moms. It is so entirely not me. That leaves me out of the loop on the soccer field sometimes. I could pout and moan and fuss and whine, or I could realize that our priorities are different. And respect them for theirs, and hope they do the same.

That all said, I don't think it would be nice to bring in a treat for just a handful, but I wouldn't let it spoil my day, and I'd use it for one of the glorious "lessons of life" talks if one of my kids had a problem with it!

 

[java]

Our school system banned the Pizza for some friends thing. If you want to bring in a pizza it has to be for the whole cafeteria!!
And Mc.Donald's well I think that is just nuts. My friend's kids go to Catholic school and she does this every friday. I think it just creates opportunity for some kids to be the "special ones". And really why do that in school? My friend says everybody does it so she has to. And I pulled out the old"If your friends all jumped off a bridge would you" And she replied "yeah probably"

 

[auntpolly]

OTOH, I am a girl, and I do remember hanging out with different groups of people depending on where i was at the time. Sure, sometimes I felt left out, and I'm sure sometimes people felt left out from the groups I was in. It isn't much different than being an adult. You just learn that you can't be "in" with everyone. And you learn to be content with your choices.

!

I know what you mean, but my theory always was, "try to teach them to be kind and considerate when they are little and then they won't be weird cliquey adults when they grow up."

I always felt like some of those girls were little "snobs-in-training" with their moms acting as instructors, encouraging them to be the kind of person who needed to excude people in order to feel special about themselves.

Seriously, I think it pays off - I always stressed being considerate of other people's feelings and I think DD is such a kind adult, now.

 

[meandtheguys2]

I know what you mean, but my theory always was, "try to teach them to be kind and considerate when they are little and then they won't be weird cliquey adults when they grow up."

I always felt like some of those girls were little "snobs-in-training" with their moms acting as instructors, encouraging them to be the kind of person who needed to excude people in order to feel special about themselves.

Seriously, I think it pays off - I always stressed being considerate of other people's feelings and I think DD is such a kind adult, now.

As a mom of a daughter, you know more about the current girl culture than, I. I never felt like a snob, and only know a small handful even now. Might be my age and generation, or the town we live in.

You seem very of your daughter. Sounds like you did a great job. My sons are still baking, but they seem to be coming out fine, too!

 

[auntpolly]

You seem very of your daughter. Sounds like you did a great job. My sons are still baking, but they seem to be coming out fine, too!

I know boys bring their own challenges, but it never seemed to me that this was one of them - maybe I'm wrong because I didn't get to have any sons, but the boys seemed so oblivious to this kind of stuff. If a mom brought something in it would be scarfed up in 2 seconds and no one would really notice - not a big ceremony like with the girls!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Just wanted to add that there is a big long parents table, ok, more like 4 tables for parents to eat with their kids.

 

[kdibattista]

I also wanted to add that when I was younger I would have been mortified to have my parents come and eat with me in the cafeteria . What happened to those days

 

[java]

You know my daughter is 9 and heading to middle school. The battleground. And I have spent years working with her on how to be KIND to everyone. I tell her she doesn't have to be friends with everyone she just has to treat them with respect. When she was getting phone calls at night to check what Limited too outfits they should wear I put a stop to it. I talked with her about how I understood how nice it felt to belong but imagine if someone's mom didn't buy limited too clothes. Then how would they feel. I think being empathetic is a skill that many children are not taught and it is one that is so valuable in life. They naturally want be kind.

 

[auntpolly]

I also wanted to add that when I was younger I would have been mortified to have my parents come and eat with me in the cafeteria . What happened to those days

Seriously! My mom would have done something for sure so embarrassing like change my sister's diaper in the cafeteria or yell at me to remember to go to the bathroom before going back to class!

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

My kids don't eat fast food. In fact, my 3rd grade dd rarely eats any type of cafeteria food (last night at dinner she ordered shrimp cocktail and mussels in white wine/garlic sauce). I have dropped off sushi or other items for her that I didn't think would keep well in a lunchbox. Usually she packs a salad or turkey sandwich - but it can get boring after a while. It's nice to "spice it up" a little.

As for kids sharing food - they do it all the time. "I'll trade my fruit roll-up for your cupcake..."

I don't do it every day - in fact, I haven't done it in a while. My daughter would love getting these (it was always a surprise). It was like a little "I love you" in the middle of the day.

Think I'll do it today, as a matter of fact. I can't imagine what the big deal is.