Opinions on Confrontations?

[CanadianGuy]

For me - it's simple ... I'm on vacation.. I'm seeking to avoid confrontation, aggravation and the like..

If that means I wait a few more minutes in line.. or end up seated at the far end of the row because I had to walk past people who didn't follow directions.. so be it.

Life's too short to police the whole 'World.'

Knox

 

[jrt1176]

I want to say that I believe that these "incidents" are far and few between...

They stick out, so we recall them, etc. It's been several years since I have been to WDW, so I am looking forward to the trip.

Now, I agree that most of the time you should let it slide. It's really not a big deal with cutting, etc. It's actually comical.

But, when it happens over and over...eventually you will want to take a stand. It probably wont happen over and over at WDW, unless you are just incredibly unlucky, because as the majority on the boards have said, most of the people on vacation have fine manners...

I lived in the Caribbean for a few years and on one island it was common for the locals to try and slip by vacationers in the lines at the grocery store. I wasnt on vacation, but they assumed I was and would try and skip. At first I let them and laughed. And even later I usually didnt care, depending on my mood. But, sometimes I just wasnt going to allow someone to skip me if I had waited my turn.

I dont know why, but I do love reading about these stories!!!

 

[inkkognito]

I want to say that I believe that these "incidents" are far and few between...

They stick out, so we recall them, etc.I dont know why, but I do love reading about these stories!

Yes, I would have to agree. I go to WDW a lot, and even tho' I've run into my share of "rudies," I've met so many delightful people too. Problem is, the nice ones just don't make for good reading like the really rude ones do.

 

[savvy?71]

Yes, I would have to agree. I go to WDW a lot, and even tho' I've run into my share of "rudies," I've met so many delightful people too. Problem is, the nice ones just don't make for good reading like the really rude ones do.

Has there been any recent 'delightful people' threads? I agree, there are many! I took the time to tell a parent how wonderful his son was when the boy (maybe 7) apologized for accidentally bumping into my dd3 (and picked up her light thingy for her).

I wanted to let the parent and that child know how I appreciated seeing it (and show my children that that behavior is recognized as well)

 

[Edna "E" Mode]

I'm kinda surprised that people think those that are being rude don't know they being ill mannered.

Rude people know how they are acting and do it on purpose because rarely does anyone say anything or stand up to them and that behavior let's them get away with whatever they want.

They certainly know when they are yelling, cursing, pushing, cutting lines etc. regardless of whether they can speak English too.

Rude people are rude on purpose not because they are ignorant of manners and what constitutes polite behavior.

Viewing them as not knowing what they are doing is just allowing them free reign to be bullies.

So yep, we confront them and if things get heated I know my husband well enough and how he operates that I remove my children from the situation so they don't get involved.

Now I'm not saying that he goes out there swinging, gets into fights, advocates violence or nit picks about what he confronts people on but he can back up what he says and will NOT back down to bullies or let people walk all over him or us.

I can tell you that when confronted with someone that won't back down, every single time the rude people always walked away.

They basically are not used to people standing up to them and can not back up their attitude because they don't know how to deal with someone telling THEM to shut up.

It's not a point about being violent, tough or intimidating it's about directly addressing the rude behavior that they KNOW is wrong and when faced with that they walk away because they know that there is no excuse for how they are choosing to behave.

As for the parenting issue that's being hashed out.....people need to keep in mind that when it comes to children's behavior that parents need to make sure that they are not getting so wrapped up in the " you can't parent my child" that they are excusing the ill behavior of the kids.

I see this a lot. Parents get mad that someone said anything to their child and the issue of behavior becomes secondary and in most cases totally lost because the parents are to indignant about their kid getting confronted. Then the parents are backing up their kid and the bad behavior because someone told their kids to stop so the child sees that as the parents acceptance of what they did and know that they will get support even tho they were wrong. Even if corrected later the kids have just learned that in public they can act ill-mannered and their parents will back them up because it's more important to the parent to save face then to correct or admit their kids screwed up.

Kids then learn that they can get away with horrid behavior because regardless of what they are doing the parents are only concerned with the fact that someone had "the nerve" to say anything to their precious child and if you don't think kids can and will pick up on that you're fooling yourself.

Kids are masters at figuring out how to get away with things and know what buttons to push. If you have raised you children to always respect people etc....then you should never find yourself with having anyone say anything to your kids if however someone does then you need to find out what the kid(s) did and address the kid's behavior first.

Don't lose sight that children are not perfect, don't act perfect all the times, and will try and get away with anything they can if the opportunity arises.

It's just not reasonable to think a child is gonna be on their best behavior 100% of the time no matter the situation.

So if someone does tell your child not to do something (especially when you think your kids always behaves) then that means one: you are not watching your child as well as you think and two: they are trying to pull one over and the issue need to be address there.

If you feel that the confronting adult was out of line then take it up with the that person after the behavior issue is resolved.

If needed one parent should pull the child over and deal with them while the other deals with the adult. I mean how do you think rude adults came to think they could act inappropriately in public in the first place.

 

[seadd67]

Rude people will be rude people,there Is no reasoning with them. But I take the stance that we the Dis folks can rise above them.I do not believe In confertation or arguement to slove the problem,I just make the cm's aware of them and leave it up to them. If they take up a space ahead of me and they get away with It ,its not going to sit with me very good but i just movie on.Its just not worth embarsing my self and or my Family,saying things I might regret later. Were at Disney,were there to have fun not worry about others.

 

[WDSearcher]

Kinda hard to effectively tell the parent about their child's bad behavior when the parent is the one telling the child to do it.

More than once, I have witnessed parents telling their kids to cut the line, then following them later, "Excuse me, excuse me, my kid's up there." This is especially rampant in wide lines like Soarin'. Sends a great message to the kid, then we wonder why so many people grow up with an entitlement attitude

You've got to handle that as best you can. For some that means "let em go and ignore it so as not to ruin my vacation" for others that means "go get the CM and point them out" for some that means "take it up with the parents" (my opinion would be try to stop the kids in the first place.) Anyway there are a lot of ways to handle this, none of which are going to be very much fun or satisfying.

Personally I would take this up with the parent and probably be end up pretty heated confrontation. Which if you read my earlier posts (page 2 or 3) I do try to avoid, however I consider the line cutter to have left me no choice.

Or ... you could look at the parents and say, "Point out your child -- we'll make sure he gets back here safely to meet you." That way, you're caring enough to safely reunite the family but clearly showing that they don't get to cut in line.

 

[Dominus]

I think a lot of people who "encounter lots of rude people" are looking to be offended. If you're paranoid of every bump being deliberate, you'll experience it. Whether it's real or not. The ever offended people, IMO, view themselves as the center of the universe. And often see the simple actions of others as a method of denying them their rightful place in the center of said universe. I'd say 99.5% or the people at disney are honest, rule abidding people. So your chances of encountering more than one of these people per trip is slim.

 

[SpectroMax]

I think a lot of people who "encounter lots of rude people" are looking to be offended. If you're paranoid of every bump being deliberate, you'll experience it. Whether it's real or not. The ever offended people, IMO, view themselves as the center of the universe. And often see the simple actions of others as a method of denying them their rightful place in the center of said universe. I'd say 99.5% or the people at disney are honest, rule abidding people. So your chances of encountering more than one of these people per trip is slim.

Probably the best point that anyone has made on this topic yet!

Many times the run in is caused by a raging idiot yelling at a person for either making an inocent mistake or the offended person's misconceptions.

Last year at HWS some 20 year old girl yelled at me and my gilfriend for "cutting line" I have no idea where she got the idea from. We had been standing in the same place for a long time but this idiot decided to cause a scene from out of nowhere. I mouthed to here and recomended a place that she could go and that got her real riled up. So after a few more minutes of her steaming I just looked at her and told her "Yea I cut line, what are you gonna do about it, but just sit there and watch me get in before you." Luckily everyone around us knew I was just messing with her to keep her going

 

[cymbaldiva]

Here in the south, the equivalent, is using a person's name and then saying "bless his/her heart". You can insult someone as much as you want but tack on the "bless their heart" comment and you've just made nice.

LOL - I had forgotten all about that ... it's funny because it's true!!!!

I'll have to remember to invoke the "bless your heart" clause into my day to day verbage ... some folks around here sure need it!

 

[inkkognito]

It's not a point about being violent, tough or intimidating it's about directly addressing the rude behavior that they KNOW is wrong and when faced with that they walk away because they know that there is no excuse for how they are choosing to behave.

I think this is very true. I am not a terribly intimidating person physically (5'2" and kinda pudgy), yet every time I've confronted someone on their rude behavior, they've been the one to back down. I only bother to call them out when what they're doing is directly impacting my enjoyment in some way, but when I do it's always been effective. Maybe part of it is my unspoken "I grew up on the South Side of Chicago, don't mess with me!" aura, but I think most of it has to do with their knowing full well that they're wrong and having no way to justify their behavior. And if I ever meet up with a real psycho, there's always a vial of pepper spray in my pocket.

 

[sbell111]

I think a lot of people who "encounter lots of rude people" are looking to be offended. If you're paranoid of every bump being deliberate, you'll experience it. Whether it's real or not. The ever offended people, IMO, view themselves as the center of the universe. And often see the simple actions of others as a method of denying them their rightful place in the center of said universe. I'd say 99.5% or the people at disney are honest, rule abidding people. So your chances of encountering more than one of these people per trip is slim.

For me - it's simple ... I'm on vacation.. I'm seeking to avoid confrontation, aggravation and the like..

If that means I wait a few more minutes in line.. or end up seated at the far end of the row because I had to walk past people who didn't follow directions.. so be it.

Life's too short to police the whole 'World.'

Knox

There is simply no way that I could express my feelings better than these two posts.

 

[WDSearcher]

Last year at HWS some 20 year old girl yelled at me and my gilfriend for "cutting line" I have no idea where she got the idea from. We had been standing in the same place for a long time but this idiot decided to cause a scene from out of nowhere. I mouthed to here and recomended a place that she could go and that got her real riled up. So after a few more minutes of her steaming I just looked at her and told her "Yea I cut line, what are you gonna do about it, but just sit there and watch me get in before you." Luckily everyone around us knew I was just messing with her to keep her going

I know you think it's funny, but all you did was stoop to her level. Below it, actually. Neither one of you behaved like adults. Why in the world would you "mess with her to keep her going?" I mean, what's the point?

 

[Finkelstein's Hubby]

I suppose the mantra I have if I ever encounter a rude/obnoxious person is "well at least I am not related to them" and then I wander off to be entertained by the magic of Disney. Like a few other folk have already said I have met so many more pleasant, friendly and courteous folk than I have of the other kind. Disney to me is, and always has been, the friendliest and most relaxed place on earth, for me anyway,.................without exagerating I simply do not entertain the thought of going anywhere else on holiday and my 2 weeks every 2nd year are too precious to get worked up about something that ultimately is not going to wreck my holiday.

Oh how I wish I was back there

 

[SpectroMax]

I know you think it's funny, but all you did was stoop to her level. Below it, actually. Neither one of you behaved like adults. Why in the world would you "mess with her to keep her going?" I mean, what's the point?

She'd been going on and on for 15 minutes. When I got to the front of the line where I could finally get away from her i did what was described above. . she deserved it. Sorry, but after 15 minutes of a histerical woman making snide coments after I had tried to explain that I didn't cut the line I think she deserved a lot worse than that. Stooping below her level would be cursing her out or threatening her. I didn't do anything like that I just made a joke out of her for everyone around her who was sick of her mouth.


"The point" is I took a little jab back at someone who was impeding on my good time. "Neither of you behaved like adults" . . . sorry but there were several "adults" around me in line besides myself (28) and they all thought the chick deserved it too.

"just to keep her going" . . . by that I meant after I walked off. Guess that read like I was encouraging her to continue the unruly behavior. Sorry for the miscommunication. What I meant was that after I walked off and got away from her I wanted her to brood on it for a while and if she chose to ruin her on day being mad at me that's her problem. Remember I was the innocent party here and a substantial chunck of my day was spent ticked off about the situation.

By the way who made you Judge Jurry and Executioner?

Seriously it bothers me when posters like yourself get on here and jump to a conclusion like you did, and slam your judgement on someone about a situation that you weren't even present for.

I don't mean any offense but you have to realize how you come off when you say something like that.

 

[Suellen]

Why won't this thread just die. It is so nasty and unfriendly. I don't think it is what the OP intended.

 

[dqpowell]

Why won't this thread just die. It is so nasty and unfriendly. I don't think it is what the OP intended.

If you want a thread to die, posting a new question on it isn't likely to help.

First, because people might be inclined to answer your question. Second, because it bumps the topic back up to the top of the forum, where more people are more likely to see it and respond.

David

 

[Suellen]

I tried that... it was on like page 5 and someone sought it out to post again ~ bumping it back to the top.

 

[dqpowell]

I tried that... it was on like page 5 and someone sought it out to post again ~ bumping it back to the top.

It's clear you're not interested in reading the thread anymore. But others are. So when you see that it has new posts on it, don't click on it.

David

 

[savvy?71]

I tried that... it was on like page 5 and someone sought it out to post again ~ bumping it back to the top.

What is the problem here

Posters rant and posters rave; it can be a relief to vent about the things that bother us as well as the things that uplift us.

While I roll my eyes when things get taken personally, get too judgmental, or derail, I do think it can be helpful to sort of, virtually unite our experiences.

If I don't enjoy a thread, grow bored of a thread, or whatever, I don't have a problem skipping over it.

It just seems odd to post about cease and desist postings on a public board. If things became 'nasty' enough or unproductive (which it may have now well run its course), moderators will close the thread.