OMG - That Duggar woman is pregnant again

[kyhardy]

My parents both come from large families. My dad is 1 of 10 kids and my mom 1 of 11. I have lots of aunts, uncles & cousins. We all stay close and in touch. My upbringing has been based on the value of family, being able to love everyone despite our differences, about being a part of something bigger than my parents and 1 sibling. My brother and I are raising our children to see the value of their family too.

So often today we are so focused on meeting the needs of our children that they become so self focused and don't know how to take care of themselves. Then we send them to college and expect them to be self reliant. What a shocker for them!!

We don't pay allowance to our children telling them it's their job to contribute to our family. All privledges, video games, computer, cell phone, after school activities, toys etc are their reward for doing their job, which is to take advantage of the education they are offered (only A & B grades are acceptable) be a contributing member of the family and follow the family rules.

Don't get me wrong, we have indulged our children probably more than we should, but we try to be aware of it and not give into the give, give, give attitiude our culture has developed toward our children.

I'm not saying everyone should have a big family, just that there are benefits we with small families can't realize this situation could afford, and we shouldn't be so quick to criticize someone who it doing something different than the norm. We certainly don't have all the answers.

 

[Freyja]

I would like to touch on something else that has bothered me since watching the episode where she went in search of an OB-GYN that would do a VBAC for her last pregnancy.

After 15 pregnancies, does she not understand the extreme stress that she has put on her body but most importantly her uterus? There are VERY FEW OB-GYN's that will do a VBAC on a 2nd pregnacy let alone the 15th!!!

Why? Because the risk of death to the mother, infant or BOTH is astronomical. Just 1 c-section scar weakens the uterine wall which can in turn lead to rupture of the uterus which is sooooooooooooooooo dangerous!
I used to be an underwriter for a medical malpractice insurance company and we would NOT insure an OB-GYN that performed VBAC'S.

IMHO she is being extremely selfish in electing to have a VBAC. If she dies she is leaving a bunch of kids without a mother.

Believe it or not, I will be having my 4th VBAC, hopefully today!

 

[meandtheguys2]

Believe it or not, I will be having my 4th VBAC, hopefully today!

Good luck Freya.

 

[Freyja]

Wow! I see that tomorrow is your due date...Congrats and best wishes with the delivery. I'm envious. I would love another baby! Good luck and enjoy your new little one..

Thanks! Can´t wait to meet him

Good luck Freya.

Thanks

 

[meandtheguys2]

Thanks! Can´t wait to meet him

The three days I had my boys were the best days of my life. I'm jealous...

 

[kim_o]

I believe they visited Disney on their road trip. They went to a lot of interesting places on that vacation. It lasted several weeks. They are debt free and were debt free prior to being on TV. They have shared that and I cant remember who it is they went to a class by (not Dave Ramsey but another Christian class) but it is on their website. Or, it used to be.

I just don't think it's extremely difficult to live debt free if someone gives 200,000 to build a house and that everything in the house was donated. All your cars were also donated. Not to mention you get a bunch of money every time you exploit your children on television.

Now if we all had someone buy our houses, household appliances/furniture, cars....living debt free would be much more feasible without those mortgage and car payments.

 

[Freyja]

I just don't think it's extremely difficult to live debt free if someone gives 200,000 to build a house and that everything in the house was donated. All your cars were also donated. Not to mention you get a bunch of money every time you exploit your children on television.

Now if we all had someone buy our houses, household appliances/furniture, cars....living debt free would be much more feasible without those mortgage and car payments.

But why should we care whether they´re dept free or not, as long as it´s not us who have to foot the bill?

 

[DawnM]

I agree. I certainly hope noone judges me and my family for choosing to live without debt. (we do owe on our house) Honestly, it won't effect us either way as this is the lifestyle we firmly believe in for our family, but still.....

Dawn

But why should we care whether they´re dept free or not, as long as it´s not us who have to foot the bill?

 

[Dr. J.]

Just because she can have more babies, doesn't mean she should. I also believe by saying that she will keep having more babies as long as God will give them to her is a ridiculous statement and keeps them from taking responsibility from this seemingly never-ending perpetuation of the Duggar gene pool. They have turned their family into a sideshow.

 

[princessmom29]

I am going to have to put my 2 cents in here. It is not so much the fact that there are so many children in this family that bothers me, it is the way that they are being forced to live. I agree with the pp that nither the mother or any of the children seem to have any opinios of their own. On one program I watched the children worded their responses so similarly, even the smaal ones, that it was obvious that they were coached on what to say. They have no interactions with families who choose a different life and there we inklings in the last program I saw that the were arranging marriges of the older children with other families in their cult. It it totally unfair to these kids to have to raise their younger siblings, and the attitude toward the place of women in this family disturbs me. They do not agree with the bleifs of the mainstream, but have no problem exploiting the media for profit!

 

[Zeebs]

My question is how do they find the time or the inclination to do IT with 18 kids I only have 2 and it is a struggle

Good luck to them. Each to their own.

And while I am putting in my opinion why do people have to pick on the appearance of people? Just because she doesn't dress or have a hair cut that is fashionable. Clothing, appearance and hairstyles do not make the person.

I only have two children at the moment we would like another one in the future and I am pretty sure I don't have 20 mins of "alone" time with my kids very often, their is usually someone always around, so with 18 of them to get 20 mins alone time is doing pretty well I would think.

Kirsten

 

[graygables]

I know I'm in for a flaming but I have to say: this family somehow reminds me of the way the women are treated at the polygamy compound that was just in the news. Old fashioned dress, no haircutting, women only good for housework, men running the house/world. This mother is nothing but a vessel for carrying children. She doesn't seem very bright, nor does she seem to have an opinion on anything that isn't given to her by her husband. She seems drugged. Exactly what kind of example is she setting for her daughters? And how is each child supposed to feel special when they have to schedule time (no more than 20 minutes) with mom They even share a common initial "J", which further keeps them from being individuals. Might as well give these poor kids a number instead of another "J" name. A previous poster mentioned, I believe, and I agree: if this mom had to do all the normal, everyday tasks that we all do -- laundry, cleaning, dishwashing, etc. I'm sure she would have stopped way before now. But it's convenient to be irresponsible when you have your own little army of workers bees taking care of everything. Many posters have indicated that they are well behaved (which they seem to be) and that apparently is the best sign of a good parent. You can also make people "behave" through intimidation. And since when is the sign of a good parent being "debt free?" Is that all there is to it? As long as I don't have debt I'm a good parent? I'd rather be dirt poor and happy, than well to do and loveless, which, to me, they seem to be. Getting down off my high horse now and slipping into my flame retardant suit!

KimO said:

I just don't think it's extremely difficult to live debt free if someone gives 200,000 to build a house and that everything in the house was donated. All your cars were also donated. Not to mention you get a bunch of money every time you exploit your children on television.

Now if we all had someone buy our houses, household appliances/furniture, cars....living debt free would be much more feasible without those mortgage and car payments.

 

[jenwolgey]

I know I'm in for a flaming but I have to say: this family somehow reminds me of the way the women are treated at the polygamy compound that was just in the news. Old fashioned dress, no haircutting, women only good for housework, men running the house/world. This mother is nothing but a vessel for carrying children. She doesn't seem very bright, nor does she seem to have an opinion on anything that isn't given to her by her husband. She seems drugged. Exactly what kind of example is she setting for her daughters? And how is each child supposed to feel special when they have to schedule time (no more than 20 minutes) with mom They even share a common initial "J", which further keeps them from being individuals. Might as well give these poor kids a number instead of another "J" name. A previous poster mentioned, I believe, and I agree: if this mom had to do all the normal, everyday tasks that we all do -- laundry, cleaning, dishwashing, etc. I'm sure she would have stopped way before now. But it's convenient to be irresponsible when you have your own little army of workers bees taking care of everything. Many posters have indicated that they are well behaved (which they seem to be) and that apparently is the best sign of a good parent. You can also make people "behave" through intimidation. And since when is the sign of a good parent being "debt free?" Is that all there is to it? As long as I don't have debt I'm a good parent? I'd rather be dirt poor and happy, than well to do and loveless, which, to me, they seem to be. Getting down off my high horse now and slipping into my flame retardant suit!

No flames here-I agree with you!

 

[SueM in MN]

I would like to touch on something else that has bothered me since watching the episode where she went in search of an OB-GYN that would do a VBAC for her last pregnancy.

After 15 pregnancies, does she not understand the extreme stress that she has put on her body but most importantly her uterus? There are VERY FEW OB-GYN's that will do a VBAC on a 2nd pregnacy let alone the 15th!!!

Why? Because the risk of death to the mother, infant or BOTH is astronomical. Just 1 c-section scar weakens the uterine wall which can in turn lead to rupture of the uterus which is sooooooooooooooooo dangerous!
I used to be an underwriter for a medical malpractice insurance company and we would NOT insure an OB-GYN that performed VBAC'S.

IMHO she is being extremely selfish in electing to have a VBAC. If she dies she is leaving a bunch of kids without a mother.

From what I remember of that episode, the doctor was not only worried about a VBAC, but another pregnancy in general. He was pretty clear, but the family just said they would take as many babies as God sends.
I have a feeling that if Mrs. Duggar did die, Mr. Dugger would just take a new wife (probably a younger one), so he could continue to produce more babies. The kids would continue in their assigned jobs, taking care of their assigned buddies and begin getting new children from the second wife assigned to them.

 

[tink20]

I worry that something might happen to the mom, but I guess the older sisters would finish raising the little ones. I personally don't care how many children they have, as long as they take care of them financial. As far as the older ones raising the younger, that can happen in any size family, my childhood friend raised her younger brother and sister she started babysitting at 10. Her dad was a total bum and her mom was always working. At least the children are loved, fed and have a roof over their head, so many children are abused, hungry and live in filth. I think there are kids in much worse situations.

 

[_queenie_]

I worry that something might happen to the mom, but I guess the older sisters would finish raising the little ones.

What I almost worry about more than that is what would happend if something happened to (or one of) the older siblings? I grew up with six brothers and sisters (I'm right in the middle) and we lost my older brother, the oldest, when I was young. What does happen quite often in big families, like with the Duggars, is that the older kids are relied too much and that's exactly what happened to mine. We honestly didn't know what to do with ourselves after he died, it was such a horrible experience. For even your typical large family (like with six kids) it's like losing a parent, never mind one the Duggar's size. Just too terrible to think about...

 

[Brenna&Noah's Mom]

My question is how do they find the time or the inclination to do IT with 18 kids I only have 2 and it is a struggle


Kirsten

No kidding!!!

 

[KerriL]

I also read elsewhere that they don’t pay any property tax on that giant house of theirs. They had it declared a church. And someone correct me if I'm wrong, but with that many kids I doubt that they pay any income tax at all . We are all subsidizing their lifestyle.

 

[rt2dz]

I worry that something might happen to the mom, but I guess the older sisters would finish raising the little ones. I personally don't care how many children they have, as long as they take care of them financial. As far as the older ones raising the younger, that can happen in any size family, my childhood friend raised her younger brother and sister she started babysitting at 10. Her dad was a total bum and her mom was always working. At least the children are loved, fed and have a roof over their head, so many children are abused, hungry and live in filth. I think there are kids in much worse situations.

My BIL's brother has been dating the same girl for over 25 years. They do not live together. She wants nothing to do with marriage because her mother died when she was 7. She raised her siblings fully and says she raised a family and doesn't want to raise a second one. There were only her and two siblings.

I went to high school with several people who were never allowed to make their own choices. They couldn't choose their classes in high school or their extra curricular activities so that they would be sure to be in the best position for the good colleges, which they couldn't choose. Then because the parents had no faith in their decision making abilities, they couldn't choose their majors (they'd never get anywhere with a drama degree) or even their electives. The parents even had a say in if who they were dating were acceptable. Most of those kids were 1 or 2.

It's not the SIZE of the family; it's the parenting style.

 

[mommytobug]

I mentioned earlier that they were debt free before they were on TV. I never said that being debt free made them great parents. Maybe someone else did, I am not sure. We are in no way debt free and I know we are great parents.

I just find it amusing that so many people have such strong opinions on people they dont know. I also find it amusing that people are judging them by the way they dress and do their hair. I have Mennonite friends who dress different and have their hair different but unless someone points it out, I never think about it. I also have Pentecostal friends who have long hair and only wear dresses. I dont but I respect that they do. I want dd to be exposed to different people with different backgrounds and I want her to know someone from what is in their heart and not what is on their body or on their head.

I would feel bad bashing people I dont know. We all know that TV only lets us see one side. We all know she is not happy all the time. None of us are. We all live differently and believe different things but do we want to be bashed?