OMG - That Duggar woman is pregnant again

[SandrainNC]

I don't have a problem with anybody having as many children as they want. However, it is not the parents raising these children. It is the older children having to take care of the younger children. And that is the part I have a problem with. If you have children, then YOU AS PARENTS need to take care of them. And if you can't, then you need to stop having them. That is the problem I have with it. They can't be children themselves for having to be the "parents" to the younger kids.

Sandra

 

[kim_o]

can they play an instrument .

All of the children are taught to play the piano and violin and the girls are also taught the harp.

 

[kim_o]

I don't have a problem with anybody having as many children as they want. However, it is not the parents raising these children. It is the older children having to take care of the younger children. And that is the part I have a problem with. If you have children, then YOU AS PARENTS need to take care of them. And if you can't, then you need to stop having them. That is the problem I have with it. They can't be children themselves for having to be the "parents" to the younger kids.

Sandra

My exact thoughts.

 

[mommytobug]

Have you tried adopting lately. It isn't exactly easy, or cheap.

I've friends who have waited years, and they weren't waiting for the perfect white baby boy.

Amen!! We have adopted successfully once. We had one failed before our dd and we lost $50. We had one failed in 04 and lost thousands. We had a baby boy born last year and he died within 24 hours. We buried him in our name. Adopting is not easy or for the weak hearted. Also, it hurts my heart when people say something about only children. I dreamed of a house full but the plans for my life were not that. We are great parents if I do say so myself and we have an only for reasons beyond our control. If I were her, I would be doing the same thing. My husband told me one day he would have had to have a vasectomy if I was fertile and he knows it is the truth! I love children.

 

[meandtheguys2]

I don't have a problem with anybody having as many children as they want. However, it is not the parents raising these children. It is the older children having to take care of the younger children. And that is the part I have a problem with. If you have children, then YOU AS PARENTS need to take care of them. And if you can't, then you need to stop having them. That is the problem I have with it. They can't be children themselves for having to be the "parents" to the younger kids.

Sandra

This is a relatively new concept. Kids have always helped raise younger kids. It doesn't hurt children to have responsibilities. I'd rather see this type of family than one that puts all of their attention, time and effort into helicoptering one.

While I wouldn't choose this life, the kids seem happy enough. Only time will tell what they all will think 20 years from now.

 

[mommytobug]

Adoption is a great choice but its a personal decision and not for everyone.
Its not about "saving" a child.

So true! It is about being a mom and dad and creating a family. Children should not be adopted to be "saved" although I know that some children have difficult lives and I don't underestimate their experiences.

 

[BeckyScott]

But also... if you go back in history a few generations, big families weren't unusual. (okay, maybe not 18, but 6 or 7 at least) Why? Mostly for free labor, and to help guarantee that the parents would be supported in their old age.

It's not much different in their case. Lots of kids grow up being responsible for a younger sibling. You can hear stories all the time from grandparent-aged people who took care of their siblings-- some even dropping out of school to do so. Girls being responsible for siblings plus the laundry and cooking at the ripe age of 10 or 12. Society has changed, our mindset, the concept itself is nothing new.

I wouldn't want a child to have to drop out of school to take care of a sibling, but it appears that the Duggars have found a way around that. And I'm sure with 18 kids, the parents won't be homeless when they get all geezerly and the social security system has gone bankrupt.

IMHO, if they're supporting themselves, then more power to them. I would have personally given my DH the vasectomy after about the fourth one, tops, waited 'til he fell asleep and stopped that nonsense but if you're happy being pregnant all the time and you can foot the bill, have a good time!

 

[SandrainNC]

This is a relatively new concept. Kids have always helped raise younger kids. It doesn't hurt children to have responsibilities. I'd rather see this type of family than one that puts all of their attention, time and effort into helicoptering one.

There is a big difference between occasionally helping with your younger sibling or having chores and taking pretty much full responsibility for their care. These people cannot take care of their own children (timewise). And I don't think it is fair to the other children. Of course kids need responsibilities, but these kids are full time parents.

Sandra

 

[tinkerjess]

I don't have a problem with anybody having as many children as they want. However, it is not the parents raising these children. It is the older children having to take care of the younger children. And that is the part I have a problem with. If you have children, then YOU AS PARENTS need to take care of them. And if you can't, then you need to stop having them. That is the problem I have with it. They can't be children themselves for having to be the "parents" to the younger kids.

Sandra

you hit it on the nail!!!

 

[RMulieri]

Actually, they are all home at once. She home schools them.
And the "system" that works for them is that each younger child is assigned an older kid that takes care of them, so pretty much as soon as the new baby is born, the next youngest one is mostly cared for by one of the older siblings. The youngest is currently 9 months old, so she'll be, what, about 16 months old when this next one is born? That's it - mom time is over. Next one's coming through.

I dunno - I have an only, by choice, and lots of people seem to think it's OK to tell me I'm crazy or selfish, or my son's missing out on things, so I know how it feels to be judged and I really shouldn't do it to someone else.
But I still think having 18 kids may be a little overkill...no?

OMG! I have an only too, and I get such rude comments from people.Like, " she needs a playmate" "don't you like kids ?" She is an only not by my own choice, but seriously what is so wrong about having an only child?

 

[meandtheguys2]

There is a big difference between occasionally helping with your younger sibling or having chores and taking pretty much full responsibility for their care. These people cannot take care of their own children (timewise). And I don't think it is fair to the other children. Of course kids need responsibilities, but these kids are full time parents.

Sandra

My grandmother helped raise her sibs. Out of 21 pregnancies, 17 survived. They were cooking, cleaning, taking care of the babies and working in the field (farmers.) This wasn't abuse, and they still had a lovely childhood, and cared greatly for one another and their parents.

 

[Disneygirl26]

I may be flamed for this, but honestly, I really think they just do it for the publicity now. Come on, no one needs 18 children!!!! They can do yet another special for TLC and make some more $$ off of it.

I'm glad you said it because thats exactly what I was thinking, to each their own but, come on 18 kids and they just had to annouce this on the today show, I may be wrong but when they made the annoncement some of the kids didn't look to happy.

 

[Crisgw]

I think the Duggars are irresponsible people to have so many children (and risk Michelle's health, their existing children need their mother) and to continue to do so, without taking into account the impact that additional children will have to their existing children.

 

[mommytobug]

I am the first to admit that I don’t watch the show; other people’s lives just don’t interest me like that. And I find that J name thing annoying. However, I know the editing process. They do not show every minute or even every day. I mean, come on, the oldest is 20. Is he still being homeschooled? Or the 18 year olds? I hope not! The others are 18, 18, 16, 15, 14, 13, 11, 10, 9, 9, 8, 6, 5, 3, 2, <1. Granted, I can’t imagine being pregnant 16 times (there are two sets of twins), but apparently it doesn’t bother her. I can’t deliver anyhow; I don’t think my OBGYN would go for 16 c-sections. If I could just get pregnant with #4 I’d be doing backflips.

I don’t know about you, but it takes me less than an hour to get all three of my kids fed, bathed, and dressed. Around 2 or 3, kids dress themselves anyhow. Regardless, are the kids somehow abused? Are they extremely unhappy? It is not the way I would do things, but there are lots of ways I wouldn’t do things. It doesn’t mean that someone else’s choices are wrong; it means it’s not for me. I’m sure there are lots of things my family does that others never would. From the sounds of it, they are pretty religious and they are letting nature take its course. The way they see it, God will tell them when they are done. Probably why they are not adopting. I just don’t see that as somehow horrible to society, or their family, any more than I see having one, or none, as rotten. They have a handle on it—no neglect and they’re debt free. They do not drain society in any way. Their kids have a great grasp on responsibility.

The mom being honored on Good Morning America today had 17 and is now raising her grandkids too since the death of her daughter. Her deceased daughter said there was no better parent in the world and left her children in her mothers care. Her children went on and on about what a wonderful life they had growing up. Having more kids that most of us can imagine isn’t a crime or a disservice to the kids. It’s just a different choice. Still, it will be interesting to see how many kids her kids have and if they homeschool. My thoughts are to each their own.

 

[dizkids]

They are very religious so I dont think she is done at 18 and obviously not using birth control.

To each his own. 1 or 18 everyone is different.

I am very amazed at how they do it though. Boy that is some system. Just thinking of another J name would do throw me through a tizzy!

 

[delmar411]

There is a big difference between occasionally helping with your younger sibling or having chores and taking pretty much full responsibility for their care. These people cannot take care of their own children (timewise). And I don't think it is fair to the other children. Of course kids need responsibilities, but these kids are full time parents.

Sandra

I don't have a problem with anybody having as many children as they want. However, it is not the parents raising these children. It is the older children having to take care of the younger children. And that is the part I have a problem with. If you have children, then YOU AS PARENTS need to take care of them. And if you can't, then you need to stop having them. That is the problem I have with it. They can't be children themselves for having to be the "parents" to the younger kids.

Sandra

This is my problem with the situation exactly. I could care less if they had a 100 kids if the parents took care of them. And honestly we frown on child labor here in the US and I've seen the mounds of laundry that ONE child is assigned to do. That for me falls under child labor laws and should be stopped.

I get that they have a nice house. I get that they love their kids. I get that they want to live an alternative lifestyle. All that is fine and dandy. I don't get why they think it is ok that once a child is weaned at 1yr that the mother is done with them?

We aren't back in the 'olden' days where you had 15 kids and only 4 or 5 survived to adulthood. Or needed a football teams worth of boys to run the family farm..and then passed the farm onto them. Even back then children were encourage to socialize. Who are these kids going to date? Marry? Will they have pre-arranged marriages with like minded families?

Yeah I guess I judge them. But I also worry about the actual quality of life that their kids(mostly their girls) have. It's the mom in me that doesn't' want to see these girls repressed and put into a position that they are less of a person than a man. Girls need to learn more than washing, cooking, cleaning and ironing to survive in this world.

I was talking about this with DH earlier. We both were curious how exactly these kids would survive in the regular world with the skills they been taught if they did make the choice to leave this lifestyle.

 

[tinkerjess]

i dont even see when they could have free time to make a baby

 

[Disneygirl26]

This is my problem with the situation exactly. I could care less if they had a 100 kids if the parents took care of them. And honestly we frown on child labor here in the US and I've seen the mounds of laundry that ONE child is assigned to do. That for me falls under child labor laws and should be stopped.

I get that they have a nice house. I get that they love their kids. I get that they want to live an alternative lifestyle. All that is fine and dandy. I don't get why they think it is ok that once a child is weaned at 1yr that the mother is done with them?

We aren't back in the 'olden' days where you had 15 kids and only 4 or 5 survived to adulthood. Or needed a football teams worth of boys to run the family farm..and then passed the farm onto them. Even back then children were encourage to socialize. Who are these kids going to date? Marry? Will they have pre-arranged marriages with like minded families?

Yeah I guess I judge them. But I also worry about the actual quality of life that their kids(mostly their girls) have. It's the mom in me that doesn't' want to see these girls repressed and put into a position that they are less of a person than a man. Girls need to learn more than washing, cooking, cleaning and ironing to survive in this world.

I was talking about this with DH earlier. We both were curious how exactly these kids would survive in the regular world with the skills they been taught if they did make the choice to leave this lifestyle.

Well said

I don't think Michelle would have 18 kids if she had to do the things we have to with just 3 or 4 kids like transport them to school, sports, dance lessons, playdate and etc, if she didn't have the the help of the 17 other children she would have stopped at baby number 6.

 

[LJD2143]

I am just curious....what job does the father have?
I was surprised that they could even "afford" 18 children. But from what I saw of their house, not only can they afford it, they appear to be "very well-off"!

 

[Camno's Mama]

I believe that the Duggers realize that they are going to be 'talked about' because they have chosen to have a public life... so...everyone IS entitled to their opinion. I do have to say that I do not know how one can feel that it is irresponsible to have children that are obviously not abused, not neglected.. this family is debt free... (not burden to society) The kids are being brought up in a home that puts family first and if anyone saw the show on the Dugger family vacation.... those kids behave very well!!! Would I have that many kids? not in this lifetime! but that doesn't mean it is wrong for someone else.

I know kids from large families that feel both ways.... some felt it was great some felt they were 'lost in the shuffle".... but I also know kids that were an 'only child' again, some liked it, some didn't. Who can say what is best?

I see kids everyday that would LOVE to have a family like the Duggers.. The kids I see are kids that have parents that truly are irresponsible!!!!

Is adoption right for everyone? that is an individual choice so I cannot blame these parents for having and raising their own kids.

I wish the Dugger family the best with the new addition.

They're not just a big family...they're a small army. It's a drain on our planet. All of those children will probably grow up and have children. They will drive cars and use resources, etc. I'm sure that they are lovely people and that their children will be productive and mostly wonderful people. That being said...it isn't just about their family. It's just one of those things that bothers me because if we all did it, things would just fall apart! We all have to realize that we can't just do whatever we want without having an affect on the people around us. That's why I think they're being selfish and irresponsible.

People that had 18 children in the past were in a different situation. And the planet wasn't overpopulated at that time. It was just different. I think that's something we have to consider at this point. I come from a large family, and have relatives that had 12 kids two generations ago, so I'm not unfamiliar with large families. As I said before, three or four or five or six kids is not the same thing as 18.