OK, super embarrassing, but so funny! AKA:The Fart Thread

[Disney1fan2002]

Ok, another otherwise dignified woman who finds farts hysterical. Dh often says he married a 12 year old boy and he finds that far too disturbing on so many levels. Dh is kind enough that when I just can't control myself in public he actually takes the blame!! God I love that man! There is a legend in my family. As my mother and I were shopping one day we came upon an aisle in which there were 2 little old ladies. One went around the corner, farted a horribly stinky fart (and by the way loud but I guess it's kinda like a tree in the woods). She then called over to her friend in the next aisle "Don't come over here Mary!!" Mary didn't and neither did we. Now whenever I have to let loose in public I go around the corner, come back and tell DSis not to go over there.

Extremely slow day at work, so I decided to dig up this thread to keep myself amused for the afternoon, and found the "Don't come over here, Mary!" post. For all the recent newbies to the DIS board....you----are----welcome.

 

[Marchand63]

Now this is a semi-Zombie thread I can get into Thanks for the bump

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

DH farted in 5Below the other day then loudly blamed me and walked away. Two women came into the aisle and one goes, "Woo...Someone tooted!", and the other gave me the stink eye(no pun intended). So embarrassing.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

DH farted in 5Below the other day then loudly blamed me and walked away. Two women came into the aisle and one goes, "Woo...Someone tooted!", and the other gave me the stink eye(no pun intended). So embarrassing.

 

[kimblebee]

I’ve read this thread many times and I still end up cry laughing by the second page LOL

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

Every time a fart thread comes up on the Dis, I am reminded of this gem:
https://www.disboards.com/threads/fp-useless-rant.3189888/

 

[dclpluto]

There a old saying never trust a girl that doesn’t fart. Hard to tell what else she is holding back from you.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

Girls fart????? I never knew that.

 

[alldiz]

I’m a girl and I fart.....regularly
Just old school....
Betta Fart and be ashamed... than not fart and be in pain.....

Also just read when u don’t fart it can reabsorb into lungs for bad breath.... a stretch but

And yes... I am a teenage boy.... farting makes me laugh and I cannot hold back!

 

[Julie's Haircut]

Decades ago I knew a guy who claimed he was in an elevator with actress Katherine Hepburn when she let rip a real paint-peeler of a fart.

 

[Kitty 34]

Now this is a semi-Zombie thread I can get into Thanks for the bump

And I don't think we've ever had the original poster come back and bump their own Zombie thread!! A DIS first for sure!!!

 

[apirateslifeforme]

So I now have a 2 1/2-year-old son since I last posted in this thread. I'm proud to say that he totally owns his farts! They're long, loud, rip-roaring old-man farts, to which he laughs and says, quite loudly, "Mommy! I farted!" Good job, son

 

[Domo]

Ah, botty burps. They can be really musical you know

 

[Sabeking]

My SIL claims she has never passed gas ...I call ********!!!

 

[L&Lfan]

This thread is an absolute classic.

 

[RedAngie]

 

[Pacolovestacos]

Does anyone use gas as a crowd deterrent? Maybe if someone is standing to close to you (I mean really violating your personal space), you can just rip a monster to get them to back off?

 

[Pacolovestacos]

DH farted in 5Below the other day then loudly blamed me and walked away. Two women came into the aisle and one goes, "Woo...Someone tooted!", and the other gave me the stink eye(no pun intended). So embarrassing.

Yea I do that to my gf all the time. She thinks it's hilarious.

 

[Jnjtrio]

It is a .lovely sunny day and my dh is laying on the family room floor working on a project. I turned around from the computer to ask him a question and just start laughing uncontrollably. He wants to know what is funny, I finally say "Did you just fart?". He has this look of total shock on his face because this was a silent sneaker. Unfortunately for him the sunlight gave him away, he always sprinkles a tiny amount of baby powder in his underware. Having to explain between my laughter the mushroom cloud that appeared over his backside, I still laugh to this day about that moment.

 

[Pacolovestacos]

It is a .lovely sunny day and my dh is laying on the family room floor working on a project. I turned around from the computer to ask him a question and just start laughing uncontrollably. He wants to know what is funny, I finally say "Did you just fart?". He has this look of total shock on his face because this was a silent sneaker. Unfortunately for him the sunlight gave him away, he always sprinkles a tiny amount of baby powder in his underware. Having to explain between my laughter the mushroom cloud that appeared over his backside, I still laugh to this day about that moment.

Why does he put baby powder in his undies?