Not happy, what should I do???

[NYDisneyMom]

I think they were talking about the MIL that wanted to share a room with her daughter for part of her honeymoon.

Yep...she needs a fourth husband, he's divorced...I see a match made in Mickey Heaven!

 

[mmcguire]

I'm in a similar situation, and IMHO, you should stand your ground as diplomatically as possible, but back off if it would cause long-term repercussions.

We are planning our semiannual trip for Dec. We've stayed at the Dolphin the past couple of trips, and my mom has joined us. We pay for the room, she helps with the kids, everybody's happy.

My brother's got a 7 & 8 YO who've never been to WDW. I have long dreamed of all of us going together, but they haven't much disposable income. We aren't rolling in it ourselves, but thought we could do SOMETHING, and figured if they could manage the tickets, we'd skip the Dolphin this time and put the $ toward two rooms at a mod or value.

Problem is, Mom LOVES the Dolphin. More specifically, she likes taking boats instead of busses to MGM and Epcot. She has really bad knees, and climbing on & off the busses is painful. I understand her preference, but we simply can't afford two rooms at the Dolphin, and don't want to stay at a different resort from my brother. She hasn't offered to chip in because she feels my brother doesn't spend his money wisely and they could afford to go "if they really wanted to." She also disagrees with our paying for their room.

I thought she'd like the idea of all of us going together, but instead, she's considering bailing entirely because she doesn't want to stay so far from away the parks. I still don't know how it's going to shake out, but we're determined that my brother's kids will get to go at least once, so unfortunately, mom will either have to lower her standards this trip, or stay at home.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

A couple years ago when they were remodeling POR (I think) disney offered to upgrade people for a really great rate. If I remember correctly it was like $99. A true story, if you decide to tell a little lie. I don't think it is a lie if you are trying to save someone's pride. If he can't afford the Poly he probably feels badly about that. Men often have a hard time accepting that they are not the one who can provide for the family. If it were my father I would want to give him a dignified way out, he would never feel ok about it otherwise. Which would your kids enjoy more, having Grandpa there or staying at the Poly?

 

[Disneykim]

My FIL would probably do the same thing, they can't get past the idea of paying so much for a hotel that your not spending that much time in while another hotel is just as nice but cheaper! Maybe you can sit down and tell him that you both had your heart set on going and would like to as a christmas present to him to pay the difference of the cost for staying at the poly vs. staying at a moderate. Good Luck

 

[Lewisc]

Is he going to be staying in your room? If you move to a moderate will you have two rooms?

That might be a reason to consider changing your plans.

 

[Gillian]

Good luck! I wouldn't change my plans in your situation either.

One thing I'd advise is to really talk to your DH beforehand. Make sure he understands exactly how you feel. Discuss how you plan to respond to your FIL's objections. Since it's his father, he really needs to be involved in the conversation. If you show a united front & offer reasonable alternatives (you pay or he pays the difference), maybe it will go more smoothly.

That's worked for us with our parents. Hope it helps you!

 

[Lewisc]

and my mom has joined us. We pay for the room,.... She hasn't offered to chip in .... She also disagrees with our paying for their room.

I thought she'd like the idea of all of us going together, but instead, she's considering bailing entirely because she doesn't want to stay so far from away the parks. I still don't know how it's going to shake out, but we're determined that my brother's kids will get to go at least once, so unfortunately, mom will either have to lower her standards this trip, or stay at home.

Mom has no problem with you paying for her housing but doesn't think you should be chipping for your brother's family. Can your Mom handle a car? Maybe you should rent a car, get a handicap permit and drive her to the parks instead of using Disney buses. Suppose you told her you couldn't afford the S/D this year. The discounted price did go up from 129-159 plus parking.

 

[Banshee]

To put it plainly my FIL is a tight wad!! And he is not missing out on the money! So it is not like he is trying to save face or anything. He just doesnt want to see us spend "OUR" money!! But I have already discussd this with my DH over dinner, and we have both said that we are definetly going to the Poly. So at least I know that I fully have my DH on my side. Thank you all so much!! I will update you all when we speak with him!

 

[Brendita]

JUST AN IDEA!
Spilt the stay between his choice & yours.
Didn't you have plans before FIL joined YOUR vacation?

 

[franw]

We have often had different groups of our party staying at different resorts for all kinds of reasons. My son and dil's family belong to the vacation club and they stay at the BC while we may be at another resort. We always rent a car which gets us to wherever we need to meet and also meet up at the different parks at preplanned times.
If it is going to start WWIII, then I would say do whatever you can on this trip to placate them and make sure next trip you plan one just for your family at the Poly without them. Some people, especially older folks, are just not prepared to pay the prices at WDW whereas the rest of us can't imagine not having the trip of our dreams.
Sorry he is putting you in this position. You are probably used to it by now.

 

[eeyore0062]

CSR is nice, but it is NOT the Poly! I think I would try with the "lie" about the special rate. Then have him take the kids to the kid activity center in the lobby while you all check in, so he will never know. If you can swing the difference, then everyone will be happy.

I hate when relatives ruin your plans!

 

[cinmell]

I would give him 2 choices - stay with you for free at Poly (perhaps you can offer to pay the overage only)

or

He can stay somewhere else.

I would not change my plans because of this. For him to consider that(changing plans) an option, is rude at the very least.

jmo

I agree with denman007. I don't think you should haved to change your plans because your father in law decided to go, espeically since you offered to pay.

 

[CaipiraBob]

In this case it is appropriate to insist. You have made a fair offer. It's not worth a family fued, but pushing points such as it's "Deluxe" hotel, on the monorail and with a wonderful view of the fireworks and such may go a long way. Convince your husband and then work on the FIL. After what you were willing to do, he does not have a leg to stand on in this debate.

I'm actually a little dissappointed with "FIL"...LOL!

 

[sk!mom]

Ummmmm...sure, I was kidding. I would never recommend that people lie.


(Forget what I just said, personally I would go with "There was a massive snow storm, and the roads to the MOD are impassible. So, guess you are going to have to stay at the POLY. Luckily, I had already pre-booked a room in your name, just in case of inclement weather.)

I love it!!!! I would also pay the difference so that he didn't have to pay more than he was comfortable with- call it his Christmas gift.

My sister and her family wanted to go with us on our last trip. With apprehension, I agreed. It worked out only because I planned what we wanted to do and then they were welcome to join us or not. The only negative was that we stayed at POP because it fit her families budget. My DH says no more values for us no matter who wants to come along.

 

[suevee]

A few words of advice - Kids, volcano pool, fireworks, Neverlandclub, kids!!!

 

[hygienejean]

I vote to stay at the Poly...

My Dad is the same way. We were at the BWV(rented a Grand Villa) in Oct. My sister and I never told he or my Mom the REAL price. We just had them pay like $150.00 per night when it was really 300 per night for each party. In fact they both are still talking about what a fabulous deal they got! They had no clue and I'll bet you could get away with this with your FIL. One other thought for you: Renting points is REALLY cost effective and you could stay in a 2 bedroom for probably what it is costing you at the Poly. Unfortunately it isn't at the Poly but you could get VWL, BWV and BCV to name a few....We loved it at Boardwalk, but the Poly is my close second!

Good Luck!