Not chosen to be a bridesmaid - anyone ever disappointed like me?

[bookgirl]

Aw man, that really stinks. A few years ago a friends of ours got married and her closest friend for years is a guy and he is/was also very good friends with the groom. They decided to say screw tradition and asked him to be the brides MOH - Man of Honor.

I introduced one of my really good guy friends to a girl I was also friends with. They ended up engaged. He wanted me on his side as well as another girl in our group, and she had a few really good guy friends, so they had couples on each side. He picked three girls and guys and she did too. It was a hoot (and a really large wedding party LOL). It was perfect.

 

[Costumesaremylife]

I got stuck behind a cake for the reception because she wanted me to be "in" her wedding... I understood the sister thing (though it hurt since we've always refered to each other as sisters), but spending money to throw her shower and then not getting to enjoy the reception because I had to monitor cake.

That's really terrible. There are some really bad jobs, in my opinion guest book is one of them, but cake monitor? What is that did you have to make sure no one touched the cake? If you saw a speck of dust did you have to blow it in the other direction?

 

[MomofKatie]

That's really terrible. There are some really bad jobs, in my opinion guest book is one of them, but cake monitor? What is that did you have to make sure no one touched the cake? If you saw a speck of dust did you have to blow it in the other direction?

I'm assuming she helped serve the cake.

 

[Costumesaremylife]

I'm not disagreeing about helping serve the cake, but the poster said she was stuck behind the cake the whole reception. Serving it doesn't take that long, that's why I was wondering if she had to keep watch over it.

 

[MomofKatie]

I'm not disagreeing about helping serve the cake, but the poster said she was stuck behind the cake the whole reception. Serving it doesn't take that long, that's why I was wondering if she had to keep watch over it.

You know, that does seem weird, now that you mention it... I just assumed she was serving, but for the WHOLE reception? Hmmmm...

I just let the caterers do all the serving at our reception- I figured, I was paying them to do it, and I didn't want to give that job to a guest- it would be no fun for them!

 

[aprilgail2]

I'm assuming she helped serve the cake.

Why would she have to help sever cake, isn't that the caterers job?? Heck they are paid a lot of money to do that! I have never been to a weeding where the cake was out anyway, they bring it out when it is time to have cake and that is the only time you see the wedding cake, its not out for display the whole night in some places is it???

 

[Becky2005]

Why would she have to help sever cake, isn't that the caterers job?? Heck they are paid a lot of money to do that! I have never been to a weeding where the cake was out anyway, they bring it out when it is time to have cake and that is the only time you see the wedding cake, its not out for display the whole night in some places is it???

Umm...yes, mine was. It was right there when you walked into the reception hall. It was out there on display the entire time. Of course, this was way back in the dark ages. We had one of those water fountain things underneath ours plus bridges (there were supposed to be little bridesmaid people on the bridges but they somehow didn't quite make it to the wedding. ).

I know on the Disney wedding specials the cake is on a cake table right when the bride/groom walk into the reception hall. At least that is how it shown on the TV program anyway.

Every wedding I have ever been to has always had the cake out on display for the entire reception. It's practically the first thing you see after arriving at the location. I've never been to one that had the cake hidden away and then show up later. I haven't necessarily had anyone asked to do the job of serving cake but I know when my sister had her wedding, someone had to cut the cake & serve it since we had no caterers, the reception was held in the basement of the church they got married in. I'm thinking it was probably one of my aunts since that is something they would easily do.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

LuLu - I am sorry. I would be hurt too.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

His fiancee turned to me and said, "It's too bad you're not a guy we are one short on groomsmen."

FWIW, my husband has a very good friend who is female. She was a groomswoman in our wedding. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Umm...yes, mine was. It was right there when you walked into the reception hall. It was out there on display the entire time. Of course, this was way back in the dark ages.

Hmmm. I got married 3 years ago and we did this, too. Not such a dark age practice, IMO

 

[Becky2005]

Hmmm. I got married 3 years ago and we did this, too. Not such a dark age practice, IMO

Oops! I think I misread this. You mean your cake was still on display.

It must be one of those things that it's dictated by local custom again. It's been a while since I've been to a wedding but the past few recent ones did have the cake out. I thought maybe it has changed.

 

[barkley]

when i was married i did'nt have my oldest girlfriend in my wedding party for a simple reason-i married several years after she had, and over those years i had heard her comment about how tired she got of being a bridesmaid (she had joined a church when she was a teen that was realy into the whole thing of having lots of bridesmaids, so it seemed like every weekend for several springs running she was a bridesmaid in one wedding or another). i just figured she had expressed she was tired of the 'honor', did'nt want to have to buy yet another dress she'd never use again-and her plate was pretty full with working and raising two very rambunctious boys.

she came as a guest and i think, had a much better time.

as for attendants-neither dh nor i asked anyone from either side of our family-we are both much younger than our sibs and not realy close to them. i had another old friend as moh, one of dh's female friends as bridesmaid, and a family friend as jr. bridesmaid. best man was dh's best friend, groomsman was a male friend of mine, and jr. groomsman was jr. bridesmaid's brother.

maybe because i had planned weddings before, but i just did'nt want allot of people to deal with.

 

[bookgirl]

You know, that does seem weird, now that you mention it... I just assumed she was serving, but for the WHOLE reception? Hmmmm...

I just let the caterers do all the serving at our reception- I figured, I was paying them to do it, and I didn't want to give that job to a guest- it would be no fun for them!

Jeeze people it was a short reception with the bride and groom about an hour tops not counting people wondering in or the clean up after which I was expected to help with, I set up for punch and stuff then they took pictures with the cake then I cut it up and passed it out, then by the time I'd cleaned up the table and served seconds they were busy and then they left. I didn't get to talk her or much of anything and people were not hanging around. So I spent 85% of my reception time playing cake monitor. I'd rather be a quest then ever do it again. Considering the fact that we were so close I just would have liked to spend a little time with her like everyone else at the reception did, but I didn't so I was disappointed. That's all there was no dusting of the lint off the cake.

 

[bookgirl]

Why would she have to help sever cake, isn't that the caterers job?? Heck they are paid a lot of money to do that! I have never been to a weeding where the cake was out anyway, they bring it out when it is time to have cake and that is the only time you see the wedding cake, its not out for display the whole night in some places is it???

NOpe no caterers this was a small town very budget wedding. In reallity very few people have catered receptions. This wasn't a dinner just cake and punch and time to talk to the couple and wish them well. I've been to catered weddings and belive me if I ever get married there will be servers not family or friends stuck with that job.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Jeeze people it was a short reception with the bride and groom about an hour tops not counting people wondering in or the clean up after which I was expected to help with, I set up for punch and stuff then they took pictures with the cake then I cut it up and passed it out, then by the time I'd cleaned up the table and served seconds they were busy and then they left. I didn't get to talk her or much of anything and people were not hanging around. So I spent 85% of my reception time playing cake monitor. I'd rather be a quest then ever do it again. Considering the fact that we were so close I just would have liked to spend a little time with her like everyone else at the reception did, but I didn't so I was disappointed. That's all there was no dusting of the lint off the cake.

Oh- that makes sense now. Where I live we don't have cake receptions so the though of you standing guarding a cake for 5 hours seemed a little comical.

 

[Kahana-ri]

At my age, I don't want to be a bridesmaid anymore.

My sister-in-law asked my to be a bridesmaid and up next to her twenty something size 2 friends I would of preferred to pass.

Personally, although I have many close friends, for my wedding I would only have my oldest friend, my dearest friend, and my best friend. Three amazing people that have shared much of my life together. Plus two were at my first wedding as well they earned their right to be in the bridal party the second time around.

 

[bookgirl]

Oh- that makes sense now. Where I live we don't have cake receptions so the though of you standing guarding a cake for 5 hours seemed a little comical.

Ever since I read the dust thing all I could remember was the second reception that I was the hostess of. The cake had greenery and flowers on it, I spent the night making sure the flowers looked nice and no one was eating leaves.

 

[Costumesaremylife]

I was worried about our friend watching the cake. We have four hour or so receptions here in New England. I just thought it would be awful to have to stand around and watch the thing. If that was my job, i would have licked half the frosting off while I was doing it.

As MOH at my sisters wedding. I can honestly say I just stood there. She was married on an island at a lighthouse. The next day she had a barbeque and she said exactly four words to me. I didn't even get to throw the shower because our cousin emailed me to tell me I wasn't doing it the way my sister wanted it. And I was incompetent at throwing them in the first place. I had asked my sister twice what she wanted for a shower and both times she said that she had no preferences.

I was hoping to be in my friend's wedding and that maybe it would be more fun than my only try at being MOH, but i'm not a guy so I can't be in the wedding. See previous post.

 

[barkley]

i keep having visions of the person wearing mirrored sunglasses and a t-shirt with 'cake security' printed on it, standing next to the wedding cake saying 'o.k. people, step away from the cake, keep moving, nothing to see here'. is the traditional wedding party gift for one of these designees a tazer in the bridal party colors?

i've honestly never encountered a 'cake cop'.

 

[Fan2CSkr]

Lulu, I'm sorry you werent asked to be in the wedding. I do hope you go and have the best time ever. I would feel sad also and I hope you have started feeling just a bit better.