Neighbor uses our driveway

[Nancyg56]

What's up with all the passive aggressiveness ? Put up cones, put up a sign, block her in, etc. Whatever happened to being an adult and talking?

We grew up playing in our neighbors driveways or yards. No one ever cared as long as we didn't destroy property or acted up but we grew up in a more family oriented block. Everyone knew everyone. It was like family.

I also am surprised that there are more suggestions of how to discourage the neighbor that the easaiest one: Just tell her to stop.

I don't have any issues with people using my driveway or being on my property, but if I did, I would tell the people to stop.

 

[Marchand63]

This sounds like a poor placement. The last time I visited someone living in a place with grouped mailboxes, it was in a separate area. It was placed next to guest parking, with only a bit of intentional open space.

We have the same thing here. They are not group mailboxes but individual stand alone mailboxes. They only deliver to one side of the street for PO convenience. So the mailbox for house #34 & 36 maybe in front of #35.

I can't park her in, I have a bum knee right now we park in the garage for safety. I can't really even meet her because I am barely walking.

My son could though, block her in for a few minutes see how she likes it. Him "I just need to run in for a second". Wait ten minutes to move car. Him "so sorry I forgot you were out here in MY driveway". LOL

He has been inconvenienced the most by this. She had to have seen him trying to get in but keeps doing it.

So how many times a month does this happen. You seem to keep coming back and making the situation seem worse & worse. Kind of a typical DIS thing sya one thing in original post then when others give differing opinion, keeep making it worse .

What's up with all the passive aggressiveness ? Put up cones, put up a sign, block her in, etc. Whatever happened to being an adult and talking?

We grew up playing in our neighbors driveways or yards. No one ever cared as long as we didn't destroy property or acted up but we grew up in a more family oriented block. Everyone knew everyone. It was like family.

Same here. What happened to being a neighborhood? Maybe you & your son do things that annoy her? S

So neighbor and son would both have to turn left to get into your driveway. Presumably if she parked on the street, she'd have to cross the street to get to the mailboxes (if it's unsafe to make a left hand turn, I would think it would be unsafe to cross on foot). Is there room to park on the street or would that put the parked car in the way of traffic?


YOU said the street was unsafe. If the street is as busy as you claim, I can understand turning left into a driveway, getting the mail, then backing back into traffic. I understand this aggravates you. There is one simple solution... TALK. TO. HER. I'm assuming you're an adult since you have a son with a drivers' license. Act like one. Or let you son do it. "Mary, I understand why you're pulling into the drive, but you're keeping my son from returning home."

That is what I was thinking having her pull into oncoming traffic on her dangerous street sounds worse. . So your DS is that annoyed being inconvenienced a couple times, I would hate to see how he is sitting in traffic.

 

[PollyannaMom]

First, I only read the initial page and this one, because honestly, this would not bother me enough to spend seven pages of time on. - She's pulling into your driveway for a moment to grab her mail. Wouldn't the world be a better place if we looked at seeing our neighbors briefly each day as a good thing?

 

[Nancyg56]

We have the same thing here. They are not group mailboxes but individual stand alone mailboxes. They only deliver to one side of the street for PO convenience. So the mailbox for house #34 & 36 maybe in front of #35.





That is what I was thinking having her pull into oncoming traffic on her dangerous street sounds worse. . So your DS is that annoyed being inconvenienced a couple times, I would hate to see how he is sitting in traffic.

My street is a horseshoe and we have very little traffic, but the homes on the corners do experience a bit of a bottleneck at times. Only one car can pass in a few spots, and those corners have several mailboxes clustered together. WHen we pull over to let a car pass, many times we are in the end of someones driveway.

I also think that it is not fair to say the OP or her son shoudl be responsible for the safety or convenience of any neighbor. THier driveway is their own. I open mine, but that is my decision, and if I chose not to allow folks to use it, I woudl expect that my request be respected. What do not understand is why the question even comes up in this situation. The OP could have stopped this at the onset just by asking the neighbor to stay on the side of the road, the dog goes bat crap crazy as soon as she enters the driveway.

One thing that makes me appreciate my neighborhood is that even though we have teh usual number of grumpy folks, we have more who are like a community. We cannot get a bus down the street so the stops are on one of the entrances to our horseshoe. That access road is very tight as well, and cars tend to go too fast. Both neighbors on that corner have opened their driveways to get kids and parents off the roads. They have done so for the 25 years I lives on this street.

 

[Nancyg56]

First, I only read the initial page and this one, because honestly, this would not bother me enough to spend seven pages of time on. - She's pulling into your driveway for a moment to grab her mail. Wouldn't the world be a better place if we looked at seeing our neighbors briefly each day as a good thing?

But for her own reasons, the OP is bothered. It is okay to want your space reserved for your own convenience. I think that how you handle getting what you want is more important than the want itself.

 

[Mizzoufan]

To me this wouldn't bother me at all. OP if it bothers you go talk to her. I don't understand the need for the work to try to block the drive way off.

 

[Jennasis]

Either you (or maybe your son?) should just ask her to stop....politely.

 

[Poohlove]

True you might get her attention and she may decide to walk over to her glove compartment, pull out a pistol, and start showing you who's boss.

If you park your car or place your objects before she gets there and are in the house that probably won't happen.

 

[wenrob]

Seven pages when the simple solution is to go out when she pulls up and ask her not to do it. If your bum knee makes it hard for you to get out there then ten minutes before she usually shows park yourself out on the front steps, wait for her to show, wave her over when she pulls up and ask her to stop. If for whatever reason you can't do this then send your son out or to her house and ask her to stop. It really is that simple. By not saying anything you are giving her permission to do it. She does it everyday, you say nothing, in her head you're okay with it. If you want her to stop you have to ask her to stop.

My dog is totally fine with street noises but if a strange car pulls into our driveway or a stranger knocks on the door she completely loses her crap. This is not just a minor inconvenience, it's a big production every time and it makes me crazy. Someone pulling into my driveway and setting her off would not have made it past day two. I would not be okay with having to settle my dog down for her convenience and well, it's MY driveway.

 

[Wishing on a star]

OP... who checks your mail, if you do not exit your car and get it?
Does she usually do this shortly before your son gets home, or could you make it common practice for your son to park at the end of the driveway, and this would keep her from pulling in during that percentage of days that he happens to be home at that time?
I might have him make it a practice of parking at the end of your driveway all the time?

 

[Wishing on a star]

PS: I would also advise putting up a sign, cones, parking son's car there... over 'talking to' this neighbor.

In my experience, entitled and disrespectful people do not generally suddenly become respectful because they are asked nicely.

I would consider the other general and not personally directed approaches before I would want to make it a one-on-one thing.

I would also NOT assume that tresspassers have no right to sue.
I believe that in most jurisdictions there would have to clearly marked no-tresspassing signs, gates, etc... before that would apply.
The OP would have to check to see how those cases have played out in her State.

 

[Lillychilly]

So neighbor and son would both have to turn left to get into your driveway. Presumably if she parked on the street, she'd have to cross the street to get to the mailboxes (if it's unsafe to make a left hand turn, I would think it would be unsafe to cross on foot). Is there room to park on the street or would that put the parked car in the way of traffic?


No, she lives on the same side of the street as me and the mailbox. She could park in her driveway or beside the mailbox to hop out. There is also room for a car or two close to the mailbox but not blocking it.


YOU said the street was unsafe. If the street is as busy as you claim, I can understand turning left into a driveway, getting the mail, then backing back into traffic. I understand this aggravates you. There is one simple solution... TALK. TO. HER. I'm assuming you're an adult since you have a son with a drivers' license. Act like one. Or let you son do it. "Mary, I understand why you're pulling into the drive, but you're keeping my son from returning home."

I haven't even met this woman I hate to appear on her doorstep complaining.

 

[wenrob]

PS: I would also advise putting up a sign, cones, parking son's car there... over 'talking to' this neighbor.

In my experience, entitled and disrespectful people do not generally suddenly become respectful because they are asked nicely.

I would consider the other general and not personally directed approaches before I would want to make it a one-on-one thing.

I would also NOT assume that tresspassers have no right to sue.
I believe that in most jurisdictions there would have to clearly marked no-tresspassing signs, gates, etc... before that would apply.
The OP would have to check to see how those cases have played out in her State.

Oh for goodness sake. I doubt she's trying to be entitled and disrespectful. She's probably just not thinking about it. The OP says nothing so she's thinks it's okay. If the OP asks her not to do it the chances are 99.9% that she'll say okay and stop. Being passive aggressive will only make the situation worse and take a simple two second conversation off the table.

I haven't even met this woman I hate to appear on her doorstep complaining.

My next door neighbor caught her in her driveway a couple months ago, wondering who she was and was she stealing mail or leafleting or whatever. She sent her son out to ask her why she was in their driveway. Maybe that is when she moved to mine.

C'mon now, do you want it to stop or do you just want to complain about it? She parks in your driveway, I doubt finding you on her doorstep is going to be an issue. You're not complaining, you're asking her to respect your property.

 

[Nancyg56]

I haven't even met this woman I hate to appear on her doorstep complaining.

I see no reason to avoid asking this neighbor to use the road. Your dog gets upset. That's reason enough to ask her to stop using the driveway. Unless you tell her that this is a problem she has no way of knowing

 

[luvsJack]

Just FYI, OP: Our next door neighbor (well as "next door" as they get around here, his land butts up to our driveway, but we have a long driveway) has a driveway about half as long as our's. If you turn down into his driveway, about 1/2 way down he has put up signs, "Stop", "No Trespassing", and there is another one but I am not sure what it says. He is known as the crazy guy in our neighborhood. Is it worth putting stuff up and being labeled by your neighbors?

You may just want to speak to her and mention that her parking in your driveway blocks your son from turning in and that is a safety hazard for your son. Who knows, maybe the two of you can come up with a safe alternative for her that makes you and her both happy. I wouldn't verbally attack her or anything over this. And I don't know that I would blame it on the dog either. Just speak to her about it out of concern for your son.

 

[Nancyg56]

Just FYI, OP: Our next door neighbor (well as "next door" as they get around here, his land butts up to our driveway, but we have a long driveway) has a driveway about half as long as our's. If you turn down into his driveway, about 1/2 way down he has put up signs, "Stop", "No Trespassing", and there is another one but I am not sure what it says. He is known as the crazy guy in our neighborhood. Is it worth putting stuff up and being labeled by your neighbors?

You may just want to speak to her and mention that her parking in your driveway blocks your son from turning in and that is a safety hazard for your son. Who knows, maybe the two of you can come up with a safe alternative for her that makes you and her both happy. I wouldn't verbally attack her or anything over this. And I don't know that I would blame it on the dog either. Just speak to her about it out of concern for your son.

Oh my, we have one of those! He is awful!!

I would totally blame it on my dog. "Poor little thing gets so upset"

I have found that people are more sympathetic to pets than teens

 

[MickeyMinnieMom]

Oh my, we have one of those! He is awful!!

I would totally blame it on my dog. "Poor little thing gets so upset"

I have found that people are more sympathetic to pets than teens

Agreed! I blame (rightfully so!!!) my two crazy little dogs all the time... ...

 

[rigs32]

I guess I don't understand why OP is so afraid of conflict that she will continue to be annoyed rather than saying something to the neighbor in a pleasant tone.

 

[Poohlove]

It is starting to sound like OP has a reason for why none of theses suggestions are going to work, they have all been met with an excuse.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Just shake your fist and yell GIT OFF MA LAWN WHIPPERSNAPPERS!!!!