My Vision

[windwalker]

My Vision

Several years ago, I decided that what was wrong with the world was that people had stopped moving, at that time, it was certainly what was wrong with me. I had always been a very happy, positive person, because I had spent my life in motion, running, cycling, swimming and practicing martial arts. Then I stopped for about 7 years, and I changed completely. During that seven years of sedentary living, I stopped liking myself. I began to care more about material things and less about other people. I sought comfort rather than challenge. I grew fat and lazy. Real happiness was a thing of the past. Of course my health began to deteriorate. I kept a cold most of the year, and I usually had aches and pains in some part of my body. I was resigned that my future was going to be an early demise, probably from a heart attack.

Twelve years ago, I started moving again. I do think that I began to move just in time too. I truly believe that if I had not, I wouldn’t be here today. I coined the phrase Wellness Through Motion, because of the changes I saw in my own body and my life. I got up off the couch, put one foot in front of the other and resumed my journey. My physical strength and stamina improved dramatically, and it was as though I had erased the damage that age and neglect had caused. My mind began to clear and heal as well. Yes heal, I was sick; although, I didn’t realize it at the time. When I finally did resume regular motion, I became happy and positive again.

Because of those healing changes that I experienced in myself, I began to think that message needed to be shouted from the roof tops. People needed to know. A lot of what is wrong with our world is that people have simply stopped moving. They don’t feel good, and they are not happy. Stress, obesity, hatred, and low self esteem are all symptoms of a growing sickness. I also saw how when people got together to do distance events, like half and full marathons, they got along. Those events were a celebration of health and motion. A common purpose that brought people together. Hatred and bigotry were put aside for that brief time, when people really saw each other, maybe for the first time. For just that instant, they realized they were more alike then different.

People need to get up, get outside, and get moving. Can you imagine a world where people are healthy, happy and feel good about themselves. How about a world where all races, religions and nationalities didn’t feel threatened by each other, but learn how to work toward a common purpose. Athletes, of all ages, have learned how to transcend those differences. They do their events, from track and field to marathons together, accepting and supporting each other.

I don’t know the answers, but I’m not blind either. I’ve seen people getting along. One of us or even a thousand of us can’t make a difference by our selves. What we can do is show by example that health, happiness and self esteem are attainable. Maybe people will notice that there is magic in that simple act of moving forward.

Thank you for reading.

Dave

 

[goofeygirl]

I agree with you. What you just wrote is about someone I know. The person of whom I am TRYING to convince to still do the Disney 5k with me...oh in about a week from now.
This person IS where you once where...she has been motionless for amost a decade now. She had 'injured' herself at work and decided to collect disability for it and has been doing nothing since then. Most of her time is spent on facebook discussing her latest and up to date illnesses. She is 47 years old.

Last spring I had to pull a rabbit out of my a** to get her to even think of signing up for this 5k. She bought a costume for it...we talked about how much fun it would be...and that we would walk it together. I even posted questions on just how slow could we go?

About a week ago the excuses started filtering in as to why she probably cannot do the race...I will cut the excuses short but here are a few:

Headaches and nausea
blacking out and passing out
hip and lower back pain
knee and ankle and foot pain
need the use of a walker or a cane

the most recent one was pneumonia and hacking cough followed by an inability to move.

Her own doctor told her a few weeks ago that he thought that walking around was a swell idea and has apparently been trying to tell her to GO OUT AND WALK. But her excuses keep her inside and isolated. She is married.

I have decided at this point that trying to get her to move forward will not happen. I realize that each time she takes a step forward she follows it up with taking two steps back. She is forever looking for sympathy and her excuses become more creative with the less sympathy she receives.
She has become angry and overweight, tired and lives on various meds to counter act what other meds do.

I was thinking two things...One is this...if we live long enough, then one day we will NOT be able to do any of the things we can do today. One day we wont be able to just get out of bed and walk a few miles...do you want to be that elderly person laying in bed with the inability to move and think about the time wasted in your younger days? Don't you want to be able to say at that point in your life..I am sure glad I did all those things when I could?

The second thing was this...some people are just more afraid of success than failure. To some of us...failure isn't an option but to people like this person I am talking about...success is not an option. Success in something (like completing this 5k) means you are moving forward and you will expect more from yourself as will others. It will also mean the beginning of changes in your life. If you are not willing to change than you will do nothing but talk about all the things you want to do but cannot.

Some people can figure this out like you...which is a wonderful thing...others cannot and time passes by.

I hope this person does the 5k with me...I want her to cross that finish line and get her medal and feel like she did something wonderful...which she will have..and have fun at the same time. I want her to want to do it again...and start a chain reaction to change...but I doubt this will happen at this point.

Life is fluid so keep moving with it.

 

[ironz]

Oh, Goofeygirl....I am sorry to hear that your friend is trying to back out of the 5K. And, I hope she doesn't. But I think you hit the nail on the head...she may be scared of the success, rather than fear of failure holding her back. And that makes me sad for her. I wondered, when you posted about the possibility of a 5K sweep the other day, "does she really WANT to do the 5K?" and that answer may be no. But I hope she decides to. And that she has a little fun. And that she CAN do things for herself.
I'll be cheering for you both (and running, too, but I hope you have a good experience dealing with your friend).

 

[bumbershoot]

GG, I agree with those two things you've been thinking of.

We rent a condo in a building that is sort of an unofficial retirement building. Our neighbor is 95 and he lives with his 70-something son (and upstairs is where his 60-something daughter and son in law live). Seeing the difference in how people age has been truly eye-opening for me. When I realized how, basically, disabled I was getting at 42 compared to most of the people who live here...it shamed me into doing something about it.

And I have always been a fear of success person. Weight loss and fitness was no different. It's the one area where I've changed that, thank goodness. Even when I was fit before I refused to see it. Now I see where I am. I might still think there's more to do, but that doesn't mean I'm not appreciating where I am. But...it took my own decision-making process to get here. No one could speed it up for me.



windwalker, I like the post. I had two thoughts. One is way too far out there for me to post fully about, but it has to do with movement and health and spinal health... I'm a former chiropractor who practiced a very light-touch technique that was all about finding the natural movement of the spine which corresponded to health. And sometimes just MOVING your body will help start that process.

The other thought is also a bit out there and is TOTALLY a theory based on teensy tidbits of information I've gathered here and there, plus a big helping of my own experience. Cortisol. The stress hormone. I read, as I started to lose the weight, that it is stored in the omentum; I'm sure the OP knows, but for the record, that's the weird hanging layer of fat under our abdominal skin. I've taken anatomy courses, I know what it looks like..it's weird. And that's where I recently (the last 2 years) read that it's stored.

As my belly got smaller (and I was carrying quite a bit of weight there, along with everywhere else), I got happier. Not just because I felt better or looked better, but it felt like it was coming from inside. It felt like a chemical thing, almost. I decided the two went together. As the fat under my belly skin was lost, I was releasing/losing the stored cortisol. As that left my body, I was becoming different. I wasn't as stressed. I'm still a passionate, opinionated person, but maybe I'm not quite AS evil as I was before.

So that's my theory on one of the ways we become more happy as we get more fit.

 

[windwalker]

Thank you guys for sharing. Tell your friend to send me a friend request on face book and she can read my daily motivational messages. It's Dave Kirgan.

Dave

 

[goofeygirl]

My friend is not interested in hearing about other peoples adventures or daily progresses in life. In fact, she just likes to write about her illnesses...on top of that she doesn't want to read about other people's illnesses (on facebook) because she thinks they are competing with her on who is sicker! She has come to a point in her life of 47 years of age that her biggest success is being sick and anyone who dares tell her how sick they are (with the flu or anything that is going around) she will dart back with attacks on details of her illness. She feels she has cornered the market on being permanently sick.

She told me the other day that she cannot discuss anything Disney now because she is too ill...so I am letting it go. At this point I am assuming she is not doing the race and doesn't want to tell me so.

A few months ago her husband went out and purchased costumes and accessories for this race...but it looks like they will hang in the closet. She did forward me her info so I can pick up her bib and shirt ect...and I will post them to her so they will be a reminder to her of what she turned away from.

She complains all the time about how members of her family do not understand her illnesses. She is always in the emergency room...in fact, she probably has her own parking space and room at the hospital.

This person gets angry at anyone who tells her to just go for it...it is followed up with 'you don't get how sick I am do you?'

Any reminders to her about living life and enjoying it are tucked under the carpet and replaced with another tale of a new sickness or injury that she incurred...another visit to the doctors office.

Here is another fact....you cannot change anyone only yourself and so the only thing I can do is pray that she see's her life for what it isn't...and she will come around ... and when she does she will enjoy life with no regrets.

 

[goofeygirl]

Oh, Goofeygirl....I am sorry to hear that your friend is trying to back out of the 5K. And, I hope she doesn't. But I think you hit the nail on the head...she may be scared of the success, rather than fear of failure holding her back. And that makes me sad for her. I wondered, when you posted about the possibility of a 5K sweep the other day, "does she really WANT to do the 5K?" and that answer may be no. But I hope she decides to. And that she has a little fun. And that she CAN do things for herself.
I'll be cheering for you both (and running, too, but I hope you have a good experience dealing with your friend).

I am going to have fun no matter what! I am looking forward to it...all I can say at this point is that I tried! I cannot make her do anything...you really wouldn't believe how insane her excuses are becoming...here is one...and I am only posting it because I am still baffled...she wrote in facebook yesterday...she has to go back to the doctors office because she accidently cut her neck flossing her teeth...

 

[BuckeyeBama]

I am going to have fun no matter what! I am looking forward to it...all I can say at this point is that I tried! I cannot make her do anything...you really wouldn't believe how insane her excuses are becoming...here is one...and I am only posting it because I am still baffled...she wrote in facebook yesterday...she has to go back to the doctors office because she accidently cut her neck flossing her teeth...

She needs mental help. If she refuses to seek it out, she will eventually push everyone out of her life.

 

[goofeygirl]

She needs mental help. If she refuses to seek it out, she will eventually push everyone out of her life.

Everyone now just 'yes's her. Or they say 'I am sorry' for whatever illness she is suffering that moment...right now she is hallucinating. Her illnesses are getting more and more wild the closer to the 5k we come. I do not even mention the 5k at this point because I don't want her to do the race at all now. If she were to do the 5k she would probably go home feeling ill and sick and blame me for new illness that came from walking 3.1 miles in Epcot Center.

As for help...the problem is, first you have to realize you have a problem and then you seek help. She is forever getting mad at people who don't understand her illnesses. It doesn't look like she will awaken yet. I hope when does open her eyes, it wont be too late...she wont be 90 years old sitting around wondering why she never did anything when she had the chance.

Yes for pushing people out of her life. More and more folks don't want to stay with her when they visit the Orlando area. She doesn't seem to realize its because no one wants to be around the 'woo-wis-me' personality. She has complained in the past that visitors now bypass her house and go directly to Disney...if she wants to see them then she has to make her own way there..but she no longer drives.

It is too bad. I kind of knew this would happen but was hoping for a better outcome. Oh well. Life goes on....and we have less than a week away for this!

 

[ironz]

Do you think she's come watch the 5k, at least? And get to see that ALL kinds of people: fit, not so fit, old, young, heavy, skinny, etc do it? Might be a tiny bit of inspiration, even if she doesn't do the 5K. Then she can see what fun she is missing out on.

 

[flatlandcycle]

Windwalker: Thanks for the story.

GG: Your friend needs some type of (mental) health care. She doesn't need the stress of this 5k and you don't need the stress of getting her to this one. You need to get through your Dopey, so that you have the strength to help out later.

I have a few neighbors that are like this. On top of the whoa-is-me, they have stopped taking any responsibility for their lives. They pray a lot, and that seems the limit of their effort, and there is some charity. They are perfectly able to purchase an arsenal of fireworks for New Years, but cannot come up with property taxes. For me it's don't make eye contact, get inside fast. They think that I am wealthy because a share this past years hurricane supplies. I assure you they mistake generosity for wealth. To them I am some exercise freak, when in reality I just barely satisfy minimum health recommendations.

You are not alone in observing incredibly sad situations. My New Years Resolution is to find some humor in everything. Even if it's dark, gallows humor.

 

[paxsarah]

I hope when does open her eyes, it wont be too late...she wont be 90 years old sitting around wondering why she never did anything when she had the chance.

Not to be callous or flip, but she won't be 90 years old at all unless she makes a change much sooner. It sounds like all you can do is be there for her if/when she decides to change her direction.

 

[goofeygirl]

I wouldn't ask her to come see us in this 5k..she wouldn't anyway because it would remind her another thing she isn't doing because of another problem...hacking cough and delusions ... right now she said she doesn't know if she heard a story about someone in the family or was it something she saw on tv under heavy meds!

She would have to experience what Windwalker, the op did...live near someone who is 95 and doing more than she is at 47.

On that note, a photo of Betty White was circulated around FB the other day...noting her 92nd birthday and what a great lady and inspiration she was to still be working at her age....this person did not write anything or acknowledge it.

When she pm's me on fb it isn't about anything only how she is feeling and new illnesses are spawning from this latest illness...her fb page is filled with 'I am so sorry about how sick you are' - that's what she wants.

But I am doing this 5k with other family members and we are all walking it...I am gung ho about this journey but not about the weather here...oh well...a few more days left.


Side note: On the suggestion she wont live to be 90 years....she told me she was keeping a diary of the things her mother has said to her over the years regarding her 'sicknesses'.