my son the kindergarden Pervert ? YIKES

[bigsis1970]

Hi Everyone - I just don't know what to do? at 3:15 today I get a call at work from the assistanst principal at DS school.. He says
i have a note here i am just going to read , I was like OH this can't be good..

so he says "Today on the playground DS was body slamming girls into the fence and um uh grabbing his crotch and making motions " ????

OH MY GOSH , I almost fell off my chair !!!! so he is at his dad's tonight ( where i believe he may seen something like that - his dad's girlfriend has boys who are ten and 8 ) DS might make his Birthday next week and see 6 !!!

Michelle

 

[preshi]

I would have a little talk with the Dad and your DS.... oh man...

 

[bigsis1970]

Yes I got right on the phone with his dad after and told the whole story and he says "you've got to be kidding"!!! yea right.. so i think its early to bed no TV and no soccer on Sat but still ( well he is missing recess for at least tomorrow )
I just got done bragging about him yesterday to some co-workers Jinxed myself but good - i was saying that since there is no guy figure the i will be raising him to be the perfect gentleman who can cook do laundry - then i find out he might just turn into a guy after all. !! boohoo boohoo.. and tomorrow night is parents night at the school how to face the male Assistant Princ. after him saying that? OH Man is right !!!

 

[disykat]

Although I agree that it was highly inappropriate, I just want to comment that little boys are just gross sometimes. I have two of them. I've been horified by some of the things I've caught my younger son doing - especially when hanging out with my best friends boys(and I consider all of them very nice little boys). They got shells at Sunday School one day and I caught them holding them in front of themselves and being all silly - this was at church! I won't even tell you the conversation my friend overheard when they were having a sleepover! They get gross in a really innocent little way where you don't know whether to lock them up and throw away the key or laugh yourself silly.

Hopefully you and the school can talk some sense into your child (or beat it into him LOL!) but rest assured you're not the only parent who's had to deal with similar issues. About 15 years ago when I was teaching first grade I remember calling in the Vice Principal to talk with a little boy who kept flashing his underwear at the girls. 37 years ago my brother got in trouble in the first grade for his bathroom shenanagins. Boys!!

 

[Buckalew]

I still remember the little boy's name who I went to kindergarten with who looked up girl's dresses. It was an obsession with that kid.
All I can say it is a good thing it wasn't my DD he body slammed!
I realize all kids do gross things but I'd have a big problem with his actions (& it sounds like you do & are ready to confront them)
Good luck!

 

[WDW2002]

I think your son should go to a counselor. Stop this in its tracks. What might be seen as "boys being boys" now will be considered molestation in a few years.

 

[Mermaid02]

I would be more concerned about the body slamming part myself.... he is going to hurt someone or get hurt himself. Frankly, my son is grabbing himself constantly the motion part I would ask him to actually show me what he was doing. You and your ex should show a united front on this..... I would try and not blame the girlfriends boys if I were you.... he could have picked it up anywhere.... even some commercials are sexual these days. Let us know how you guys do with this one.

 

[shortbun]

Oh dear! Well my ds is in 1st grade and I have seen
and heard things from him(after exposure to older boys)
that made me think he was an alien-or hope so.
The loss of privilege should stop the behavior and if
it continues, he'll get thrown out of school. One of
DS's friends just experienced that-he was suspended.
Keep in mind that he's experimenting and this one
exploded on him. He's too young to understand the
implications of what he was doing so I would not
worry about that. As far as facing the admins in your
ds's school...they've seen it all. Talk to them, thank
them for their concern, assure them you are concerned
too and move on. It's all in a day's work for them.
Calmly talk to your ds. It's the only way to get real
information from him as to what he thought he was
doing or where the behavior originated. I hear so much
from ds when he feels safe to talk. Sounds like the
punishing has been doled out by his dad and you can
be the passive parent(for once, eh?).
Good luck. this too shall pass.
mimi

 

[RitaZ.]

Your DS is young and this sounds to me like he was imitating behavior that he may have seen. It could have been another adult, friend, tv (music video), etc. I don't think that at this young age he has a clear understanding of what those motions mean. That doesn't mean that it's acceptable behavior, it has to be dealt with.

Talk to your DS about the inappropriateness of his behavior and the consequences he will face if it ever happens again, be honest. He can be suspended from school for such behavior. You can also remove privileges at home. You may want to have the school counselor talk to him as well, you want him to know that you mean business. Hopefully, it will put a stop to the behavior. Good luck to you!

 

[ratsrule]

I think your son should go to a counselor. Stop this in its tracks. What might be seen as "boys being boys" now will be considered molestation in a few years.

 

[bumcat]

I would first find out where he got that from and go from there. I don't think counseling is necessary at this time but I think I understand what wdw2002 meant. Some schools would have taken this further even with a child this young, I don't think that's right but it does happen. Sounds like he was repeating something he saw. I put a stop to my son and his friends body slamming each other at the bus stop. Of course they were all laughing and just playing around but eventually someone always gets hurt. My son is 8 and a few yrs ago starting grabbing his crotch after seeing michael jackson grab his on a video. sad but sometimes they learn it from an adult.

 

[Dream]

Oh man....parenting is tough isn't it? I agree with those who say he is way too little to understand what he is doing...he is imitating somebody who he views as "cool" more than likely. He made some poor choices, but if this is not the norm for him I wouldn't be overly concerned. Talk to him and do whatever you feel is right to make him see you are VERY serious. Kids this age WANT to be good...he is probably embarrassed to death! Don't be embarrassed at back to school night!!! Hold your head up and let people know you are acting on the problem and have it under control and it will NOT happen again. If any parent says anything to you let them know this is not like your son, he has been spoken to and it will not happen again...matter of factly and calmly. If the parents of these little girls do not have boys they will have very little understanding of "boy behavior" and might be more than a little upset...esp. in today's "overreacting" world!!! Hang in there! Hug your little boy...emphasis on the word LITTLE...and have a great back to school night!!

 

[bigsis1970]

My Ex called this am and said they had a long talk and DS wasn't giving any information . He didn't know why he did it or where he saw it .. This by the way is his answer to most stuff - and then Ex told him that its wrong to touch other people like that ( body slamming ) and to not touch his privates unless his is alone and also should he ever do anything like that again he will be kicked out of school and have to go to a school far away from us - extreme but if it works .. I did not say anything to Ex about the bigger boys at his house, as to keep the peace and yes we do sometimes watch PG things so yes he may have seen it on TV too. He is missing recess as I write this. i will chat with the Assistant tonight and update you all more. thanks for everones input including the few negitive ones. eveyone has a great point.
Michelle

 

[Carl]

I don't know where the body slamming comes from, but the grabbing himself comes from RAP videos. That seems to be the norm in those.

 

[WDW2002]

After reading the "puzzlement" ( ) to my response I reread OP and realized I had misread part of it. I read it as him body slamming the girls, & grabbing their (the girls) crotches. This is why I posted as I did. My daughter was molested, so when I misread the OP, I responded as I did.

If I had read it right the first time my response would have probably been more like this:

You need to talk to your son and make him understand that he can not touch himself (like that) in school. That that is something he should only do in private. I would keep an eye on this behavior and if it does not improve or gets worse, you may think about having him go to a counselor.

 

[alabamaalan]

It sounds to me like typical professional wrestling behavior. Does he watch WWE or any similar programs?

Certainly, that is a genre that blurs lines between reality and cartoon (R-rated at that) and can be confusing to the young fans who gobble it up.

If that is the case, then he may just be imitating what he has seen and may not realize how inappropriate it is.

Once you correct him and watch him and he doesn't continue to exhibit the behavior, I wouldn't worry about it. (IF that is what he was trying to imitate)

 

[musicfan]

I'll bet you anything he's seen it on TV somewhere.

When my son was 5, he went through a short period of dropping his pants in crowds (thankfully leaving his underwear ON). He did it once at school and once at Sunday School (!).

Both times we told him it was completely inappropriate and withheld privileges -- but it was right about a week after the second incident when we were watching America's Funniest Home Videos and I noticed that there were FOUR clips of various people dropping their pants "accidentally" on that one show. Well, we stopped watching that show that night, and we never had a problem with our son again! He was just aping America's Funniest Home Videos! I'm sure he wondered why HE didn't get as much of a laugh as the people on the show did!

I would try and make sure that your son is not allowed to watch MTV (or any of the other knock-off channels) or wrestling. Seems like they contain a lot of crotch grabbing and body slamming.

 

[CRB#33]

Originally posted by bigsis1970
Jinxed myself but good - i was saying that since there is no guy figure the i will be raising him to be the perfect gentleman who can cook do laundry - then i find out he might just turn into a guy after all. !!

ROTFLOL

Good luck--remember, he has no clue what he did. He only knows that it's wrong for some reason.