My son just split his head open while throwing a tantrum!

[sl_underwood]

My 5 yo son (dx ADHD, ASD, PTSD, RAD, OCD, and FASD) has recently started beating his head against whatever hard surface is present when he does not get his way. Right now, he has 3 stitches because he chose to hit his head on the cement patio outside because I sent him outdoors for exercise and he wasnt happy that his video game time was up. Is anyone else dealing with this? How do you keep your children safe without enabling the tantrum?
Thanks
Lora

 

[koolaidmoms]

Our Developmental Pediatrician told us to make a space where DS could throw a temper tantrum without our interferance and where he could safely get his energy out. He is supposed to eventually learn that we were not going to change whatever upset him - such as it is time to turn off the video game and go outside - but rather if you get angry and can't channel it properly here is where you need to do it.

Dr. suggested two or three mattresses piled in a section of a room or basement with many large pillows, a small trampoline with handles on the side and a punching bag if we could get one. This is to be his only area where he can do these things such as jump on the "bed" and throw pillows at the wall if he needs to, hit the punching bag and the punching bag only (not his head and not the wall - we have several cracked walls) and kicking.

When DS calms down we talk about it and redirect him back to what he is supposed to do - take out the trash or clean his room, whatever. It doesn't let him out of it but we can talk about why he was angry ie. he wanted to watch the end of the television show and could not verbalize it properly or he just doesn't like task x and didn't want to do it but will now do it for 30 minutes (I love timers!) that we have talked about it and he realizes it will not be for the rest of the night.

Don't know if this will help any but it has worked somewhat for us. No new cracks in the walls.

 

[bookwormde]

One thing is not to view the actions as that of a neurotypical. Often it is not a method of “getting what he wants” but more of an anxiety reaction to “having his world taken away” or “turned upside down” so a good analysis must be done to determine the root cause. There becomes a real problem when things like video games become and area of special interest, it is hard enough when it is dinosaurs, insects, plumbing fixtures or any other less visually engrossing item. What I have found is that setting realistic transition goals and the skills that goes along with it are important.

bookwormde

 

[AJKMOM]

When my son, autistic, was that age, he broke my nose while having a tantrum.

 

[mechurchlady]

You need to know if it was a typical bratty kid type of hissy fit or as Bookworm said a reaction to having his world turned upside down. My mother has both it seems. I learned that I cannot stand there arguing on how things are to be done. I am not going to get the mail when I can start in my room, hit the bathroom, go out with the laundry and rotate the laundry then dump some trash then bring in groceries then the mail and newspaper. Her brain is wired so that all she sees is the now as in I must have the paper. It has taken 3 years to undo 80 years of miswired thinking. No longer is she getting me up at 8 am for the paper and now she waits until almost dinner time to ask.

You have to have rules clearly defined and stick to them. We do this and that not what you want to do. I also agree with a time out area where he can blow of some steam. Work to get him to find other avenues of venting besides head banging. Good luck and big hugs