My kids took the "Magic" out of the MK and all the other parks, too!

[Lyndarella]

If you want to hear from one more disappointed mom, we had a terrible time a couple of years ago with our kids who were 19 and 17!! They were just too cool to be at WDW, and wouldn't go on anything with us parents or by themselves. I made a beautiful scrapbook of the trip, with them scowling in EVERY picture. I hope I will find this album amusing some day... Since then DH and I have gone to WDW twice without them, and hired a BABY-SITTER to stay home with them!

 

[dvcgirl]

Dh and I have no children of our own. We took our Dniece to WDW for the first time when she was four. Her parents were just beginning a very messy divorce (Her father was getting served with divorce papers and a restraining order while we were gone. My sister planned it around our trip because it was safer for my niece to be away). So it was just Dh, Dn, and me. We had a FABULOUS time. Dn had a few moments when she was tired and needed a break, but for the most part - great great memories.

Fast forward a year. Dsis wanted to go to WDW with us and Dn really wanted to take her mama and show her all the cool stuff. Dn was very involved in the planning. She wanted to stay at AKL so her mom could see the animals because her mom loves animals. She also picked several of the meal locations because she wanted her mom to eat there, and of course had a list of rides mama had to ride. The planning for the trip was so much fun. However, when we got there, Dn turned into a monster. She was rotten. She threw fits, always wanted everything in every store. Didn't want to get up for breakfast and parks. It was really disappointing.

This summer we took Dn camping with friends, no mama again. Again she was a perfect angel. On the last day of camping she said she had a great time but next time we needed to bring mama. I said "no, we can't bring your mom. You are not nice and don't behave when your mom is around. And you hurt Aunt Shelly's feelings, so mom can't come." She got a few tears in her eyes, but she said she was sorry.

A few months later she asked if we were ever going to Disneyworld again and quickly said she would be good if her mama came with us. She then said she was sorry she had made me cry the last time.

I'm a child development major and I'm not sure I handled that very well, but it made an impression.

Shelly

I really feel for the OP, but I applaud her honesty. Not many parents can admit when their kids are not well behaved. And they may not be all the time, or just in a phase, but it's a shame that they ruined her vacation. I also think that many tend to really build up very high expectations for their trip to Disney. If your kids fight with each other in the car, at the mall, in the grocery store...chances are they'll fight with each other at Disney. And so I can see how it can happen.

Having said that, my DH and I do not have kids. We took my young cousin a few years back....definitely a different trip. And he was great the entire time compared to most kids, very appreciative and he's just a good kid in general...but it's a different journey for sure.

We're often just appalled at some of the behavior that we see by children in the parks. And the lack of good parenting skills with those kids. We were behind a woman and her son at Ghiradelli's recently. She was on the cell phone...talking non-stop. Her son, who was about 10, had to be the most annoying and obnoxious kids we have ever seen. He was hitting her trying to get her attention. Jumping up and hitting the balloons in the que really hard...so that they were bouncing off people's heads. Just awful. Finally, another man made a comment to the kid about the balloon hitting...and he didn't stop. Then someone made a comment to the mother...that she should really ask her kid to stop doing that. She just kept talking. I can't even imagine having a kid like that. He literally annoyed every person within 100 sq ft. Obviously he does this to get any kind of attention that he can..but still, that doesn't mean that the rest of us want to be around him.

 

[lilallybean]

Dang, I feel so much better! I may not be the OP, but I have had the same feelings. When we went in August I had visions of MY magical birthday and then my DS having an even more magical birthday 4 days later. I had made great shirts for us to all wear on our birthdays. His even had Goofy on it (his fav), and we ate breakfasst with Goofy....for HIM! All 15 people in our group made every effort to give him the best birthday possible. The day ended with DH, DS (aka-lucky birthday boy), and I having a ice cream in the food court. He had spent the whole day being a lil brat...complaining about EVERYTHING, whining, and throwing tantrums. Mind you, he turned 10..not 2! He told me over the ice cream how awful his birthday was--"This was the WORST birthday ever!" I finally could not take anymore. I left in tears and ended up with such a headache from crying. DS and DH stayed in the food court, had a LONG talk, and they came back to the room where both DS and I cried more. I still feel bad that he had such a bad birthday, but GESH...there was that part of me that wanted to dump him on IASW, until he found his happy spot.

 

[judykay53]

I am so glad I found this thread. We just got back and my grandsons are 9 and 7. They really liked picking at each other while waiting in the lines. We had to threaten going back to the room or not swimming later that night. Once we did set them down and refreshed their memories that if they were not at WDW then they would be at school! There were times we just stood in between them. Oh, and of course, each one has to have the last word (or sound) Yah, I think our kids are normal

 

[jann1033]

Well, I'd be dealing w/ that now to make sure they think twice next time.

yep with our kids if it was not a matter of me wanting everything to be perfect and they were really being little monsters they'd have some explaining to do and probably some extra chores...when our kids got around that age and fought they had to do something together they hated( like clean the bathroom) and if they fought,it just kept adding more and more chores they had to do together( at first they were cleaning pretty much all the time )...also when they got to a certain age they were not allowed to come to me and complain about the other ,they had to learn to work out their differences with out arguing as sometimes we found it was just a bid for attention.

now they are really best friends but there were some rough years when we had to be very firm or lose our sanity; they needed to learn to get along with people some time and we figured it might as well be while we were in control ( hehe) even if it meant a few more gray hairs for us.

ot but i think the teen years are by far the hardest and it seems they start at preteen now. glad mine are grown and even though ours never got into trouble/drugs ect or anything I wouldn't want to go through that time again

 

[Rella Bella]

My DS has gotten like that... and he doesn't even have a brother to fight with! We solve it by "letting" him go to "Neverland" at the Poly. He would much rather go to the parks... but he has a okay time, we know he's safe and we have an evening of peace. Maybe he needs that time with other kids to unwind? What ever we have a nice dinner and time to walk around the lake and the break really does wonders for all of us. Expensive... no way!! It's much better than a ruined vacation and not surprisingly he is always more co-operative the next day.

 

[vellamint]

Oh OP you have NO IDEA how much this hits home to me......we have four kids all within 3 1/2 years of each other. The fighting, the whining, the purposely getting on this one or that ones nerves.

I will never forget our first trip to WDW in 2000 - a wonderful, very expensive trip that had me in bed on our next to last day crying....crying....

Husband: "Honey whats the matter?"
Me: "This was one of the biggest disappointments in my whole life".

I could not believe how badly those kids behaved (granted it was August and HOT) and I certainly could not believe how my husband behaved at their behavior!!! He was having tantrums about their tantrums.....EGADS!!

It wasn't about buying them things, it was about nothing!! And I could never bring myself to actually leave the parks to teach them a lesson because it was never ALL of them and how could I punish the ones that were behaving plus we were not on site.

I thought we would never go back...but we did!! Next trip was the best....of course next trip we stayed on site, left the park early afternoon for swim breaks, went with friends who had two children close in age to ours that have known each other their whole lives.

Call me CRAZY but I just bought our airfare for next August for 12 NIGHTS!! This will probably be our last big long family vacation to WDW.

I dont care.....we are going to have family fun if it kills us!!

 

[mckymama]

Poor Kangaroodle. I do feel for you because I have been there, done that! Whenever I say mean things to my kids, I always feel guilty after they go to bed. They look so innocent when they're sleeping. Anyway, I know that someone referred to your kids as being "older." They're really not. We leave in a week with our DS13 and DS15, and I am so looking forward to this trip. We were able to go through the Frommers book together, pick our favorite things and plan together. Life is tough when they're young, even at the "happiest place on earth." Hang in there. It only gets better. I know that alot of people gripe about teenagers, but they can be pretty cool little adults. I'm sorry about your vacation.

 

[BibbidyBobbidyBoo]

As you can see by this thread, OP you're definitely not alone.
I think it has to do with a lot of things, least of which means all of us have bratty spoiled rotten kids. Kids have their phases and add to that heat, humidity, possibly overstimulated and/or tired... it's not a good mixture with kids.
Our first few trips weren't bad at all- they were with DH. Difference then being the kids were pretty much well-behaved the entire time but the comment one person made about the DH having temper tantrums about the kids' temper tantrums pretty much explains how that went. Not so much the 2nd trip that was longer (12 nights) because we had a lot more down time for DEAR HUBBY! LOL It was like he expected them to never get the least big whiney or gripey or tired... but really it was just about he doesn't really get into Disney. That's why the 2nd trip with pretty much every other day spent at the resort, pool and/or DTD or Disneyquest, etc. was better for him.

However, then on the 2 trips I took this summer with the kids... the first one with all 3 was pretty stressful. They weren't misbehaving the ENTIRE time but the youngest one was whiney enough to make up for that. LOL We were all pretty grouchy- it's our first summer trip and even though we're from Texas the heat and humidity even had ME feeling pretty miserable and therefore grumpy at times! Add to that the fact we couldn't do anything SHE couldn't do (and she's not that tall) - that caused a lot of disappointment and griping as well. Well, we decided (last minute- partially because the youngest was ill at the time) I'd go with just the older two the next trip and even though it was a much shorter (half as long) trip it went great. We could all ride the "big" rides and there was only 2 of them- easier on mom (me!) to keep the fighting to a minimum (and less stressful keeping an eye on them, I didn't have to push a stroller, etc). There was only ONE time we had a meltdown waiting in line and I threatened to leave the line, they didn't believe me and the arguing kept up -so we left the line. My kids have a tendency to just want to argue the most ridiculous stuff because they both think they are right. They don't fight over things like who gets to be by mom or who is first in line- they argue about things like well- hard to explain. Just pretty much anything they see/hear/think they know, they will argue about it because they both think they are right. So it's all verbal- and they don't yell/etc. but it's like constant nuh-uh, you're wrong, I'm right stuff- and it gets annoying after awhile. We left the line and did a little "time out" while we sat on a bench -- no more problems after that! They knew mom meant business! I think they thought there wasn't a way in the world that mom (aka Disney freak LOL) would pass up a ride or get back out of a long line/etc. if they misbehaved- they found out different and behaved better after that one incident.

UNTIL the last day.. OMG it was awful the last day! Thankfully it wasn't both of them, it was just my son. I don't know what in the world happened but that boy woke up on the WRONG side of the bed or something. From the minute he got up he was whining and arguing and being pissy about everything. (he's 7yrs old btw). We were leaving late that day so we had to check out and also check in with the airline and then headed to TL for about 5hrs to then return to the resort, eat and get ready for DME to pick us up. All day long- gripe, whine, piss and moan about everything. It was like he wasn't even the same child anymore! I still don't know what caused it- he got plenty of sleep and took his medicine that morning (he's ADHD/possibly bipolar) but apparently it did NOT work that day.

He was fine once we got on the airplane. Go figure. Apparently that 5 night trip was a bit much for him even though we'd done 10 nights back in June? It was just a bad day for him I guess. I can't even IMAGINE what that day would have been like had I also had our youngest daughter with us on that trip. Lord have mercy it would have been bad. LOL


We all have our days I guess.
I wouldn't give up going at all- but if you go again with the kids there is LOTS of great advice given on this thread to hopefully nip bad behavior and fighting/etc. in the bud before it gets to the point that the trip is ruined and you're left in tears wondering why you even bothered going. Or you COULD try to go on either a solo trip, with someone else or with DH without the kids (if that's possible) and maybe that would be a rude awakening for them. My kids KNOW that I have gone on solo trips before and I'm not afraid to do it again! And now they know whiney kid gets left behind next time (since I left youngest behind on the last trip) because I ain't having that at Disney World! Nuhuh... don't mess with my Disney. LOL

 

[klofan]

I know how you feel. My mom and sister made our last trip completely miserable. I'm a guy (17) and I haven't cried in years, but I cried about 5 or 6 times during this trip.

I can't go on trips with my family anymore. They want to go to Italy for 2 weeks this summer, but I can't do it. It's sad because I really want to go to Europe too.

All we did was fight. It was constant.

Sorry your trip didn't turn out as planned. Hope the next one is great.

 

[ECurto]

Speaking from a psychological (my profession) standpoint, and please don’t feel that I’m judging you. I think this is a parental issue. You need to establish the rules you set for your family, as well as re-examine the way you are you raising these little ones. You are the one who is in charge of shaping and molding there personalities. Find a way to make them more responsible, and understanding. Not just of your feelings on this one trip, but in life in general. And never, tell a child they are "horrible", remember they are products of their environment.

 

[tinknme]

No you are not alone I just returned last week from a 7 day trip with my 2 ds age 11 & 9. We had a wonderful time, but they really did stress me out. We arrived on a Sat. & by Tues. night I broke down in tears. I told them I just could not handle the complaing, fighting, & whining anymore. I am happy I was able to take this trip & share it with them, but I told them this is the last time I take them on my own. Dh has to be with us or I will take them one at a time. I am now in the process of planning a trip with a friend, this will be our girls only trip I love my boys dearly, but I am so looking forward to this trip! I will be able to relax & enjoy at my own pace.

The last day I broke down in tears, telling my kids are how horrible they were and that they ruined my vacation. I told them they are great individullay but together they are awful. I told them I put alot of work into this vacation and no one even cares how hard I worked at our plans. I told them that I do have feelings even if I'm a "mom". I also said I don't know if we'll ever come back to WDW, if we do they may not be with us, because I can't subject myself to the disappointment I felt all week! (And we are DVC owners!)

What would any of you done? Anyone have similar problems? I need to know I'm not alone!!!!

 

[stemikger]

I didn't read all the replies, but this reminds me of something we overheard from our last trip.

We were walking near Pirates of the Carib. and we overheard this from a women with two kids they were both around 12 and 13:

These are her words: "I take you to the happiest place on earth and you are making it misreable". Me and my wife couldn't help it, but we started caracking up, it just struck us so funny.

I only have one child, so thank God I don't experience this dynamic of having the siblings fight. I think, you have to punish them and take away vacations, until they learn to appreciate it.

 

[BroganMc]

My heart goes out to you folks, but I really do wonder about the impossible expectations people have. Magic doesn't happen on schedule.

I just got back from a 2 week vacation with my dad, and though we love to do many of the same things we did grouse at eachother a few times. We also split up to go solo now and then too.

Funniest thing I heard was in Toon Town in a MNSSHP night. I was waiting for my dad to finish in the treat line outside Mickey's house. A girl about 9-10 yo walked past me to go into Mickey's house and her mother yelled in the crabbiest voice, "I don't wanna go in there!" The girl stopped dead, looked at her mother with bewilderment then was treated to another surly wave of the hand with "Go on, just go!" The father and other daughter finished the treat line and came over to hear from mom, "All night long all I hear is complaining from her. She never wants to go in the short lines I point out until they're long. She doesn't want to do anything I want. I'm just tired of her selfish behavior."

I couldn't help but laugh to myself. Of the 4 people there I think the one needing the time out was mom.

A few years ago when I was there with my mom, we walked past a kid wailing away. My mom just blurts out, "There's no crying in DisneyWorld." (in her best Tom Hanks "League of the Their Own" voice saying "There's no crying in baseball.") We bust out laughing and the kid did a doubletake at the silly adults. Now when I hear a kid cry a laugh thinking of my mom's words. (She passed away last year.) Note to all, when you get crabby (and we all do) it's time for snack breaks. Find a nice quiet spot to chill and just watch the crowd. You'll be a lot better for it.

I finally convinced my overlarge family it was a good idea to split up into small extended family groups and reform throughout the day. My next trick is to kidnap my sister from her less adventurous guys and take her on a few thrill rides with just the girls. Meanwhile my dad can do the tamer stuff with her fellas.

 

[Martha7]

My two DS's do better when we allow them time in the evenings to do what they want:younger DS needs to go online and check in with his friends, and older DS wants to go out and skateboard around the resort. They're 15 and 17. My DH and I go out for a nice dinner and let them order room service. My DS's have such different personalities, that they just don't get along much of the time. The one trip which was terrible, was the one that I took without my DH. They fought like crazy, and I vowed to never again take them without the other parent! I appreciate all of these posts. They're making me feel better about the fact that we'll most likely be cancelling our December trip! (Continued unemployment issues...)

 

[Dislifer]

Well, it's good to know that I'm not alone! We went last December and my 9 year old son was miserable at times. The kids fought and I couldn't believe that I had planned this wonderful trip, spent all this money and I had to hear this nonsense.
Ugh....but I'm doing it again this December. It's funny, I talked to them about the situation...do I really think anything is going to change? If I do, I guess I am the fool!!!
So, no...you are not alone!!!

 

[bdcp]

My boys are 19 and 21, and guess what? They've always bickered. A trip like going to Disney means they're spending a lot of time with each other and know how to push each others buttons. We had a great time on all of our vacations, but they fight, that's what siblings do. Even those that for the most part get along fine, and mine are good friends for the most part. People put their happiness on other people. If your kids fight, crying over it isn't going to make them stop (except maybe temporarily out of guilt). Just like you, they're individuals and don't look at everything the same way adults do. Don't expect, especially from teenagers, that they're going to magically be wonderful and happy all the time just because they're in WDW. It can be frustrating, but realize you're raising them to become responsible adults with their own minds.

 

[Dislifer]

Speaking from a psychological (my profession) standpoint, and please don’t feel that I’m judging you. I think this is a parental issue. You need to establish the rules you set for your family, as well as re-examine the way you are you raising these little ones. You are the one who is in charge of shaping and molding there personalities. Find a way to make them more responsible, and understanding. Not just of your feelings on this one trip, but in life in general. And never, tell a child they are "horrible", remember they are products of their environment.

I can't resist asking this: Do you have children? Do you have more than one child???

 

[dwkwootton]

Well, I think its a safe bet that I'll get verbally murdered for this one, but hopefully my thoughts won't be too badly misunderstood. I can't help but tie this thread into the one a few days ago regarding the children who were unable to control themselves at DW. A number of adults were torn to shreds for saying that they didn't appreciate having to deal with tantrums from other people's kids. I guess my point is balance. Two sides to every story maybe. For what its worth, I have 2 kids, two years apart and we went to DW every year and never had a bad trip. Am I lucky? Yes, my kids are among the most amazing people I've had the privilege of knowing. Is it all luck? I don't think so. One tip (if anyone is still reading and not foaming at the mouth at me LOL) I would strongly encourage you to NEVER make a threat that you don't intend to keep. As soon as you do this, you have lost control as a parent. It seems to me that one of the biggest problems is that the parents are allowing the kids to have all the control.

 

[kennezgirl]

I have three biological children and a step-daughter that lives with us most of the time. We are taking all four of them to Disney in 23 days and what I am reading about is my WORST fear.

They gripe and pick at each other when we go to the mall, out to eat, or to their grandparents house. I have been telling them for months that this upcoming vacation is my "dream" and that bad behavior will not be tolerated. I am hoping that it will sink in.

And to the man that posted that children are products of their environment...children are born with a disposition ( I am sure you are familiar with the three types). All of the nurtuting in the world does not change that innate personality trait.