My kids took the "Magic" out of the MK and all the other parks, too!

[damom2daboyz]

The last family vacation to NYC left me at wits end because my oldest DS (15) at the time drove me nuts. He hated everything, he thought everything was stupid. Our last family vacation to WDW he was a total poop.

My DH said, "Hon, it's a phase. He's a teenager now, wanting to spread his wings, and definitely doesn't want to do anything that isn't perceived as cool by his friends." So, this summer I wanted him to go to Paramount's Kings Island with us and I told him to invite a friend (at least it would be a family outing but he could have someone to talk to as well). En route to our destination I asked his friend what rides he liked. His friend said, "Well, I've never been to an amusement park." I said, "You've never been, ever? So, what do you do on vacation?" He promptly replies, "We go to museums and art galleries." Fine and dandy, very educational, so, I say, "What about stress relief?" He says, "I read." Ok. This is my DS's best friend, so, I didn't want to offend him. I told him that in our family we believe in education and appreciation of the arts but without imagination and dreaming none of those could exist. My oldest son, so far, has not become the person who I had hoped would enjoy my sense of folly but I have accepted it as best as I can. Now, my DH and I vacation with our youngest DS who absolutely couldn't care what anyone thought about him acting silly (he wore a kilt to MNSSHP for goodness sake and he's 14 y.o.) and he totally gets into it. We do allow for him to have down time at Disney Quest to be with others his age.

So, all in all I totally understand and feel for you. When we do vacation together, ours still fight and carry on, it's just easier now to do simple, short family excursions.

Best of luck to you.

 

[PatsGirl]

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones because as much as my kids fight at home, they have always been on their best behavior during vacations trips. It's one of the reasons I'm always planning one.

This might sound harsh and it certainly wouldn't be the first time I"ve been accused of over-reacting or disciplining with toughlove, but I would plan a trip (maybe not WDW, but a weekend closer to home) without them. Let them hear all the fun things you'll be doing and then leave them at home. Bet that'd be the last time they make you miserable during a week at WDW

Sometimes kids expect things that they shouldn't. This includes WDW vacations of course. They will never understand the impact of not having the vacation until they don't get it.

Just my 2 Cents. Flamesuit on.

Brenda

 

[Ride Junkie]

Wow! I feel your pain. I took my nieces to Disneyland a couple of times (they were 7 and 8 last time I took them), and they were a handful. Not only did I tell myself I was never doing that again, but I also told myself I was never having kids!! My DH was in full agreement! Maybe we'll change our minds someday about having a little mouseketeer to go to Disney with us, but for now, those memories are too fresh in my mind. I loved watching them have fun, but when they got out of line....aaarrrggghhh!!

 

[bigmac5]

My heart goes out to you. That was my biggest fear. My boys are 11,13 and 14. They argue and fight lots. I think it is a power struggle thing. We were driving 24 hours to Ft. Lauderdale for 4 nights then to Sarasota for 4 nights then to Disney for 6. They have never been in such close confinments. I was just waiting for things to blow at some point, especially with the heat of Aug/Sept.

But it was the best vacation ever. I don't know if my DH threatened them(I did hear him remind them that this vacation was for me and that I planned hard for this) There was a couple of disagreements but nothing like I thought would happen.

At some point things will turn about for you and you will be pleasantly surprised. Until then remember you are Mom, the glue that holds your family together.

 

[maxaroni]

We couldn't wait to take our daughter to WDW. I knew she probably needed to be a bit older but finally gave in and when she was around 5 took her on her first rrip. It was a real learning experience, primarily because you find out that your plans may not be her plans and problems arise. Probably the biggest shock was to discover every time we were on a ride she was looking around and asking what were we going to do next. Nothing like waiting an hour to get on Dumbo, the rides starts and she wants to know if we are doing whatever next. Just very frustrating for me that she didn't seem to enjoy what she was doing.

This is my ds! He's better now that he's older (12) but still does it occasionally. When he was younger, it would drive me bonkers...
However, he was like that at home, so why should I have been surprised at Disney

 

[mamaprincess]

I can't even remeber what our twins did that got on our nerves so much last trip but I remeber a lot of threatening to go back to our resort. We even threatened that it will be there last trip to WDW. That was the week of April 24th 2005 and we can't wait to go back.

I guess they weren't so bad after all. Give it some time, you'll start remebering the good moments and you'll soon be planning your next trip.

 

[2belles'mom]

Oh yes, I have been there. My DDs (now 6 and 9), constantly fight. However, they know when Mom is at her boiling point, and they will usually stop.

Several years ago we were at Disneyland with my DH, my father, and my cousin, eating at a restaraunt in Downtown Disney not too far from the Disneyland Hotel where we were staying. My older DD (then around 6?) was picking fights with her sister and was on an extreme pout. I gave her a couple of warnings--told her I would take her back to the hotel room--and she still kept up the bad behavior. Sooo, I had to CARRY HER, wailing away, all the way to DL Hotel!!! probably a 10 minute walk, but carrying 50 lbs was not fun! I stayed with her in the room. It ruined my night, but she knew I was serious about warnings in the future!

Do I still have "unmagic moments" with my kids? You betcha. But they usually notice the "mom is about to lose it" look or tone, and shape up--but not always!

The other important piece is making your expectations clear BEFORE an event, EVERY DAY. So, when going to the parks, discuss AHEAD OF TIME how important it is to not kick each other in line, to use manners, to not fight, etc. Then, a warning has much more weight, because you can just say, "remember what we talked about this morning??" Same thing for restaraunts--in our family we ALWAYS preview "restaraunt behavior" before dining out. Again, I only need to remind them of the "restaraunt behavior" expectations, rather than launching into an entire tirdade there on the spot.

It is so important to keep reminding kids of your expecations--don't expect them to remember because you discussed it last week!

Hang in there!!

 

[robinb]

I feel your pain. I never thought I could have a bad time at WDW, but I was dead wrong. My last vacation (in August) was the one if the worst 2 weeks of my life. We brought my 6 year old neice (who has a brother and sister) with us to keep my 6 year old DD (only child) company. It was a disaster. Flighting? Punching? Kicking? Oh yes. Then, when we tried to pull my DD off her cousin, she was so angry and out of control would turn on one of us. I had to carry her out of MGM one morning literally kicking and screaming. I wonder if that made it to the Shoking Moments thread .

I also want to publically appologize to the poor people on either side of our room. Sometimes the room was the only place to go to calm them down and then, it would take a while.

My DD has been to WDW plenty of times and she never, ever acted that way before. I was really shocked and sooooo glad that I could return my neice to my sister and go back to a normal life. I guess we won't be going with family again soon. We are going with friends, though. She gets along with those kids because they are older.

 

[DutchsMommy]

Did your honesty shock them into a little guilt? I hope so. I think it's OK for a parent to show their kids that they have feelings too, often times I think kids totally forget that. I know when I look back on some of the things I put my parents through I am mortified. Or maybe that only comes with age? Anyway, I think you did the right thing, and maybe next time do it even earlier. Kids need to know not to take everything for granted. Isn't parenting a b*&tch!

 

[huskies90]

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones because as much as my kids fight at home, they have always been on their best behavior during vacations trips. It's one of the reasons I'm always planning one.

This might sound harsh and it certainly wouldn't be the first time I"ve been accused of over-reacting or disciplining with toughlove, but I would plan a trip (maybe not WDW, but a weekend closer to home) without them. Let them hear all the fun things you'll be doing and then leave them at home. Bet that'd be the last time they make you miserable during a week at WDW

Sometimes kids expect things that they shouldn't. This includes WDW vacations of course. They will never understand the impact of not having the vacation until they don't get it.

Just my 2 Cents. Flamesuit on.

Brenda

Brenda - I agree with you. My two daughters are not perfect but they were little angels last year at WDW. They were 5&8. A little discipline goes a long way. I think we as parents in today's world are afraid of a little tough love especially when both spouses are working. When we threaten them to behave and then do nothing, the kids see right through the idle threats and continue behaving poorly.

Also, no matter how much I love WDW, I would never take my family if they were not in the same boat. We are going again this year and my daughters have been going out of their way to behave and be excited about the trip. We also do the disney dollar rewards where extra chores earn extra disney dollars. It works great.

 

[jgrahamiii]

Ah, the joys of taking kids to a place designed just for them! I remember leaving the Wilderness Lodge to drive over to one park or another with the kids being around 8 and 10 or so. They kept fighting over something stupid or another and I told them that they would go back to the room if they kept on fighting. The didn't stop, so I pulled over to the side of the road (just past the parking lot) and made them get out and walk back to the hotel on the sidewalk. I don't think they believed I would do it! We shadowed them back on the other side of the lot, and before they got back, we picked them back up upon their promise to behave. They even kept their promise for a while, and then a while longer when we reminded them of it.

The other thing I remember is having overplanned and trying to see everything. Pulling the kids this way and that. I even got annoyed when all they wanted to do was go back to the pool, when we had all these great attractions to do. That was about when I realized that this was their vacation too, and that the fact that I had planned it all out did not stop them from enjoying a little down time in the pool as much as Space Mountain or a gingerbread house at the GF. I looked around at all the parents pulling their whining kids, yelling at their kids for whining, etc., and realized that this was not what Disney was about! From then on, I tried to direct the kids to activities I thought would be fun (of course, my idea of fun, as my now teenagers always remind me, is to read every restaurant menu I pass). But I didn't drag or insist or get annoyed. We all had a lot more fun. And with more down time, they were less tired and fought and whined less. So, sometimes less is more.

The following trips, I had them much more involved with the planning. That helped a lot too!

 

[mommaU4]

Just got back on Saturday from 10 days at WDW. We only did the 4 major parks on 4 days plus MNSSHP one evening. We went to Blizzard Beach and Typhoon Lagoon, too. My kids re DD9 and DS6. The were awful! They fought over EVERYTHING all week long....most of it really STUPID stuff like who gets to pull a certain suitcase. They would hit each other and really made our magical trip less than magical. There would be good moments then bad ones all week long. We even had magical things happen to us like being chosen as Grand Marshalls of the Halloween Parade and also being chosen to ride Dinosaur as special guests and then a little behind the scenes tour of it. They tended to focus on what we DIDN'T do!

The last day I broke down in tears, telling my kids are how horrible they were and that they ruined my vacation. I told them they are great individullay but together they are awful. I told them I put alot of work into this vacation and no one even cares how hard I worked at our plans. I told them that I do have feelings even if I'm a "mom". I also said I don't know if we'll ever come back to WDW, if we do they may not be with us, because I can't subject myself to the disappointment I felt all week! (And we are DVC owners!)

What would any of you done? Anyone have similar problems? I need to know I'm not alone!!!!

I am so, so sorry that they made you cry. But you are not alone. I know exactly how you feel and have planned many a vacation only to go and then wonder why I even bothered! And your kids will not appreciate it until the day they plan the first trip for their kids. Only then will they call you and say thanks mom! For our upcoming trip I am looking forward to it and hoping it will be "magical" but I know there will be some really tense crappy moments as well. That's just life with kids!

I think the key to all this lies in your first sentence..... You just got back so all this is still fresh in your mind. Give it some time. I have alot of trips that at the time seemed terrible but after awhile to hear me talk about it you'd think everything went perfect. You just tend to forget the bad stuff. It's like chidbirth, after awhile you only remember the good stuff! And that's how it will be for you too I promise.

BTW, you and your DH should go sometime just the two of you anyway. Even if it's just for a short trip. Part of being a good parent is taking out time for yourselves! So go for it.

 

[shellybaxter]

Dh and I have no children of our own. We took our Dniece to WDW for the first time when she was four. Her parents were just beginning a very messy divorce (Her father was getting served with divorce papers and a restraining order while we were gone. My sister planned it around our trip because it was safer for my niece to be away). So it was just Dh, Dn, and me. We had a FABULOUS time. Dn had a few moments when she was tired and needed a break, but for the most part - great great memories.

Fast forward a year. Dsis wanted to go to WDW with us and Dn really wanted to take her mama and show her all the cool stuff. Dn was very involved in the planning. She wanted to stay at AKL so her mom could see the animals because her mom loves animals. She also picked several of the meal locations because she wanted her mom to eat there, and of course had a list of rides mama had to ride. The planning for the trip was so much fun. However, when we got there, Dn turned into a monster. She was rotten. She threw fits, always wanted everything in every store. Didn't want to get up for breakfast and parks. It was really disappointing.

This summer we took Dn camping with friends, no mama again. Again she was a perfect angel. On the last day of camping she said she had a great time but next time we needed to bring mama. I said "no, we can't bring your mom. You are not nice and don't behave when your mom is around. And you hurt Aunt Shelly's feelings, so mom can't come." She got a few tears in her eyes, but she said she was sorry.

A few months later she asked if we were ever going to Disneyworld again and quickly said she would be good if her mama came with us. She then said she was sorry she had made me cry the last time.

I'm a child development major and I'm not sure I handled that very well, but it made an impression.

Shelly

 

[jkfreeman33]

Leave the fighting kids at home next time and you & your husband enjoy yourself without them with an adult vacation. We are also DVC members and my husband & I have a great time being with each other in WDW. We know all the adult places to go and have adult conversation with other adults!! We do what we want when we want. It's really nice to spend time together. Try it, your stress level will be much lower.

 

[Deb & Bill]

Not an expert, but it might help to schedule a few more breaks and rests in there. Plus a little down time for each kid with one parent (one on one time) if possible. I only have one son, but we've brought nieces several times to join us and never had any problems. Course my husband is a sucker for a little girl and paid for hair braiding, stuffed animals, t-shirts, etc for the girls. We plan lots of breaks for each day. It helps owning DVC so we go about twice a year and don't have to worry about missing out on something.

 

[kangaroodle]

Thanks everyone for all your responses! It does make me feel a little better to know that a lot of other parents have good kids that can be really rotten! The kids did have their own Disney Dollars to spend. The fighting was never about '''Stuff" that they wanted. I always told them they could get whatever they wanted...it was their money. Usually whatever it was went back on the shelf. More breaks may be the key to a better trip. We did give them the choice one night of Fantasmic or the pool....they chose the pool! I know we will go back and I REALLY think a parents only trip would show them I meant we wouldn't take them next time. Now I need to convince my hubby...I'll be on the lookout for some cheap airfare.....maybe a Valentine's Day trip.....We'll see....keep the stories coming! They make me smile to know I'm not alone! I think at one point I even said that I can't believe I have such a crappy family! (I really couldn't believe that came out of my mouth and have checked the "shock" thread to see if anyone posted that!) Now I know why Walt decided against alcohol in the MK...they would need Fast Pass machines to get some because ALL the parents would be in that line!(or VERY intoxicated!)

 

[WendyMichaelJohn]

Now I know why Walt decided against alcohol in the MK...they would need Fast Pass machines to get some because ALL the parents would be in that line!(or VERY intoxicated!)

That is the funniest thing I have ever read on the Disboards.


My kids aren't old enough for fighting shenanigans (although they are both in PRIME tantrum years...what I was thinking when I booked, I'll never know. One was still an infant at that time. Oh well...)

Anyway, one of the best things I have ever read was the UG section on the Agony and the Ecstasy. All about traveling with kids and maintaining the same discipline procedure at WDW that you have at home. Before you go, you establish that. So if the penalty for fighting at home is time out, then you have time out at WDW. Only before you go you're supposed to make it clear where time out will be, etc. The section is REALLY good and gave me the heads up that what exists in my family at home will exist at WDW. For that reason, I've already planned on only half-days at the parks. That way if things are going really well, we'll continue on. Lower expectations, lower disappointments, bigger surprises I guess. I'll find out if it works or not in a month and a half.

Shel

 

[babar41]

OP, I'm sorry you had such a rough time. Kids can be trying. You are not the first nor will you be the last to go through such an experience.

A number of years ago DH's nephews flew out to visit. They were from the D.C., grew up with the Smithsonian almost in their backyard. While they were here we took them to the Sears tower... their response "Seen one tall building, seen them all." Took them to the Aquarium in Chicago.... "Seen one fish, seen them all." To the zoo... "Seen one animal, seen them all." Mini Golf.... "Played one course, played them all" 6 Flags over Great America... "Seen one theme park, seen them all" Needless to say, it was impossible to do anything that they actually enjoyed. They were pretty well bored with anything and everything and took the fun out of everything for us and my daughters

After about a week of this, my trying daily to find something they would like, their attitude of "Seen better, not interested", I took them to the State Fair along with my daughters (DH was at work). Shortly after we got there my youngest wanted to see the bunnies so we headed over to the animal area. On the way was that wonderful phrase was stated "Seen one bunny, seen them all" and I lost it. I took DNs aside, explained that while this was their vacation it wasn't JUST their vacation. It was my children and mine as well. Since I was pretty well tired of the "Seen one, seen them all" attitude, and I happen to love the State Fair and did not want to have it ruined, they had a choice. 1) They could have a major attitude adjustment and find things to like rather than to critize or 2) I would call their Uncle, have him leave work and take them to the house where they could sit for the rest of the day while we enjoyed the State Fair. They had 5 minutes to make their choice or I would make it for them.

Surprise! We had an attitude adjusment! The day actually turned out very nice. After that, for the rest of their visit, we never again had the "Seen better, not interested".

DN's are adults now, in fact one is getting married this week. We laugh at what a brat he was. Last time we talked about his visit here that one year he told me that my telling him that it wasn't JUST his vacation is what really hit him. Made him stop and think.

Good luck. I agree with other posters that say go back to WDW without the kids. If they see you are serious when you say you won't tolerate their bad behavior, it might make a difference. And their realization that the only ones missing out are the ones not behaving..... might work!

 

[kilee]

I think it's hard to take time-outs in the parks and go back to the rooms. So much planning goes into the trip, you don't want to ruin it by leaving for awhile. However, after reading this thread it really seems to be the "key" to getting things like that under control.

I am going to make a mental note. I'm hoping to take my neice and nephew in a few years who will be 7&8 at the time. W/ DS he's an only child, we get lots of the pre-teen moodiness on vacation, but not the fighting and hitting. There's nobody to fight w/. He just gets sulky and quiet, which annoys me when I want us all to have fun.

 

[Mercuti0]

Sorry you were so disappointed.