My dd2 was called a BRAT today @Walmart:(

[KAMKIM]

I agree that no one should make parenting harder but I find it offensive that there are some who feel that if their children should be allowed to disrupt those around tehm simply becasue they can. In this case the Op stated that the "screaming to her herself screaming" child was annoying. Why on Earth is that acceptable? I agree that the woman was out of line calling the child a brat but I wonder how long it took her before she asked the OP to control the child.
The OP made it more difficult when she engaged the woman in a snippy discussion. She could have simply apologized and moved on.

I have raised three children, hauled countless nieces and nephews shopping and would be embarrassed beyond belief if any of their behaviors drove someone to that measure.

Babies shriek, they have found their voices and they love to use them. It is up to the parents to teach them to temper that exuberance when they are in public. By the time those children are two they should understand "shhhh". I watch a little one year old and already her Mom is teaching her that she needs to use her "indoor" voice. What those who love her find amusing (translate that to What I find amusing) is not going to be cute to strangers trapped in the same building as her when she is shrieking at the top of her cute little lungs.







I was thinking the same thing.

Not quite sure how shopping in Walmart can equal being trapped? Anyone that has the gull to call a child a brat INFRONT of the child is disgusting in my book and needs more than a shhhhhh herself

 

[ols386]

If you read through quite a few people mentioned that they were on a plane and their child was screaming and they couldn't just leave. Basically saying that the Mom couldn't just leave Walmart. Two completely different scenarios.

I agree, being on a plane vs. being in a place like Walmart are two different scenarios. You can't just get up and walk out of a plane.

But I will say that I've been on more than one flight, sitting next to someone with a baby or toddler....fussing, crying, etc., and I still tried to just deal with it. I'm not going to say anything to the parent about it, not my place. If a flight attendant says something to the parent(s), then that's a different story.

Again, I still think as a society, we (in the general sense) are becoming less and less tolerant of basically anything that disturbs or annoys us.

 

[KAMKIM]

Never said that. Never even implied that. In fact, what I said was:

I also agree with C.Ann who said she'd move if she were uncomfortable. That's typically my reaction to these kinds of situations in stores as well. Unfortunately, when you've moved to the other side of the store and can still hear the child, the question now becomes:

Do you allow the car alarm to continue going off or do you ask the owner of said car alarm to either shut the dang thing off or take the car alarm out of the vicinity?

I agree and I think calling the child a brat was above and beyond what any normal person would have done.

I would have taken my child out of the store before any of this happened - I'm not saying the OP wasn't wrong. But I also know how hard it can be for parents in this situations as well. If you dont correct your kid - people dont like it, if you do correct your kid, people dont like it. You cant make everyone around happy all the time - especially when it comes to how your children behave and how you respond to that behavior.

 

[Sleestack]

We know a whiny screeching child is a bratt.
What is a big mouth old lady called?


I have on occasion called my own kids bratts. Its not such a bad word to me, but coming from some big mouth bag O' wrinkles I would have been perturbed.

Lesson learned: People are not always nice and kids need their naps.

 

[daisyyy]

OP... don't let other people ruin your day. I totally sympathize with you. To me, it didn't sound like your dd was that bad. You were in Wal-Mart... not church, so the other lady had no reason to say anything to you. If she doesn't like the crying kids, then maybe she should shop elsewhere... Wal-mart is family / kid friendly... that's who they market to right? In any case... maybe if the lady thought your kid was a brat.. she should just keep it to herself. She doesn't know what you're going through... I believe you said you had 5 kids, so, unless she has 5 kids herself, she wouldn't know. I've got 4.. and any chance I get to go to the store without all 4 of them is a blessing.. so, if I stretch it a bit, and they get a little cranky, and maybe they should be home for a nap, but if I can run one more errand with out all 4 of them, then it's a good thing.. otherwise, I'll be dragging all 4 of them around, and having 4 crazy kids and one crazy mom... I don't always have the option of leaving them home, and sometimes you just got to go out and get things done. I'm not dragging them through the stores for entertainment.. it's because I have to get something done, and I have no other option. So.. you have my sympathy...

 

[lovin diz]

I have a dd. We taught her at a very young age, if she acted out in public, we were going to take her to the bathroom.....yes we spanked her. but she did learn very quickly not to act out.

OP i am not specifically talking about you, but alot of parents these days dont care....They dont care if their child acts out, they ignore it....They dont care how well their child does in school, they dont care who their child hangs out with. Then we have a bunch of heatherns.

i hate hearing a child acting out, but what i hate even more, is when the parents ignore it!

 

[NHdisneylover]

In case OP is still reading: As a mom who also lives far from family (I have not even been in the same country as my parents since my oldest was 1) and has a husband who frequently travels for work and works long hours at others times (he left for Bangkok Sunday, will return from Japan late Saturday night--be home Sunday and then leave for the Czech Repbulic first thing Monday morning which is pretty much par for the course for us) I get having to shop when the kids are tired, hungry or whatever. I have learend much of that can be avoided by shopping online always having healthy snacks on hand in the car, planning errands to run as smoothly and quickly as possible, realizing there are very few things we REALLY have to have right now (meaning you CAN leave the store with a misbehaving child unless you are picking up needed medication or truly have NO food in the house--so waht if dinner is plain pasta for one nigth if it means you can generally count on good behaviour because ou have sent a clear message about what you will not tolerate), etc. I agree with so much of what has been said including that indoor places are NOT meant to be loud (except concert venues and sports arenas), screaching just to hear herself is ten times worse than a melt down, etc. So I will try not to repeat those things.

I will say, had my child ever been called a brat for a legitimate (screeching in a store is totally legit) reason I would have pulled them aside immediately and explained what that meant and just exactly how their behaviour was giving the stranger the impression that she was a brat and told her to shape up and quit acting in a way that would give anyone the impression that she is a brat immediatly. The lady was out of line for using the words she did to you, but she first asked you to control your child and you were totally out of line to haev allowed the creaching to that point and then to repsond with anything other than an apology and an attempt to quiet your kid.

Once we were on a plane to WDW, and my 4 month old decided he needed to scream and cry at the top of his lungs. What were our options? Jump out of the plane? I was trying my very best to soothe him and NOTHING worked.

Airplanes, which you really cannot leave are very different. Also, melting down/crying is very different than screeching for fun. I a msorry you were made to feel badly about your son's crying.

Kids screech, scream, cry, and throw temper tantrums in WDW all the time.. Do the parents get on a plane and take them home?

NO, but they should at least pull them into a less high traffic area and if it keeps up take them back to the hotel for the day. The few times my kids misbehaved at WDW we pulled them aside and gave them 5 minutes to get under control or return to the hotel (no swimming or TV). We never had to return to the hotel, probably because they KNEW we would do it and because we made an effort not to pus hthem to the point that they were too tired or hungry. I have all the sympathy in the world for the parent of a fit throwing child on the bus back to teh hotel who is trying to get the kid somewhere less disruptive, and none at all for the one who thinks their little darling yelling loudly and otherwise misbehaving on Main street is so adorable that everyone should just smile at the noise.

 

[ols386]

I too think the OP is a brat.

And if she would've left with the screecher as quickly as she left this thread, there may not have been an issue!

Do you know the op pesonally?

We know a whiny screeching child is a bratt.
What is a big mouth old lady called?


I have on occasion called my own kids bratts. Its not such a bad word to me, but coming from some big mouth bag O' wrinkles I would have been perturbed.

Lesson learned: People are not always nice and kids need their naps.

There must be some name for that?

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

Having just spent some time in Target with the most heinous sounding screeching child ever, who, no matter how hard I tried to get away, there they were...seriously. I was ready to lose it. Entitlement attitude doesn't even begin to cover it. Get the kid out of the store.

I couldn't care less about your schedule, your errands. If you can't get your kid to behave appropriately (and screeching is not really appropriate anywhere), then you leave. If you don't, then you're failing as a parent and you're raising a brat.

I have kids. If they ever pulled this crap, we left. Period.

The only excuse for a screeching child in a store is one who is with their parent picking up a prescription because they are sick and in pain. Otherwise, leave!!

The world does not revolve around my children and it most certainly does not revolve around yours. I find it funny that you said something like, "I am the head of my children, not the other way around."

Yeah. Um. Okay.

Off to take some Excedrin to erase this other brat from my head.

That lady only said out loud what every other person in the store was thinking. Rude or not - doesn't really matter. If you had done your job as a parent, you never would have been put in this position.

JMHO

 

[jodifla]

OP, of course the woman had no right to call your child a brat. What a jerk! Your child is 2. What's her excuse?

Here's the thing about total strangers and children: They (stupidly) take the image of your child at that second and try to declare a larger personality issue with it. It's nonsense.

My child is 7 now, so we don't have those issues, but when DS was younger, we either left the scene if at all possible, or quickly hurried up to pay up get out of the store. It isn't always feasible to just "leave" if you have a grocery cart full of food and that's your only window to shop for the week.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Not quite sure how shopping in Walmart can equal being trapped? Anyone that has the gull to call a child a brat INFRONT of the child is disgusting in my book and needs more than a shhhhhh herself

First of all, it's gall not gull.

Secondly, yes - I would have the gall to call a child a brat in front of that child. Especially if said child were behaving as a brat. In the situation described, however, the child seems to have been behaving as an uncontrolled child. The woman was wrong to have called the child a brat. But I'm thinking that she probably wasn't wrong in what she called the mother. I could be wrong. I wasn't there. All I have is an accounting of what happened based on the OP and subsequent posts.

In any case, the attitude displayed in my quote above is why people like me feel the way we do about others who have entitlement attitudes regarding their children and how others need to be tolerant of their children. What they don't realize is that I don't have to be tolerant about these children's behavior if their behavior is disrupting everyone else around them. No one does.

Most of us have said that if we see the adult trying to control the situation, we're very tolerant of the situation. We may not like it, but we understand that these things sometimes happen.

But when we see an adult ignoring the situation, or even insisting that there's something wrong with us because we're not indulging their little snowflake's screaming stage he's going through, well....that translates to that particular adult not having respect for anyone else within earshot.

And that, my friend, is truly galling.

Definition of gall: irritate or vex;

 

[just4today]

I'm sure this will not be a popular opinion, but I don't believe having a large number of children to tote around gets you a pass on having to parent them. I'm sure it's very difficult going shopping with 4 or 5 children. That's why I don't have 4 or 5 children. Those that do have just as much obligation to teach them how to use their indoor voices and if they can't or won't do that, it means the parent should remove themself from the situation the same as what they would do anywhere else in public (hopefully). The fact that it's at Walmart shouldn't make a difference. Do we have to be less respectful of other people just because we're at Walmart?

 

[jodifla]

Having just spent some time in Target with the most heinous sounding screeching child ever, who, no matter how hard I tried to get away, there they were...seriously. I was ready to lose it. Entitlement attitude doesn't even begin to cover it. Get the kid out of the store.

I couldn't care less about your schedule, your errands. If you can't get your kid to behave appropriately (and screeching is not really appropriate anywhere), then you leave. If you don't, then you're failing as a parent and you're raising a brat.

I have kids. If they ever pulled this crap, we left. Period.

The only excuse for a screeching child in a store is one who is with their parent picking up a prescription because they are sick and in pain. Otherwise, leave!!

The world does not revolve around my children and it most certainly does not revolve around yours. I find it funny that you said something like, "I am the head of my children, not the other way around."

Yeah. Um. Okay.

Off to take some Excedrin to erase this other brat from my head.

That lady only said out loud what every other person in the store was thinking. Rude or not - doesn't really matter. If you had done your job as a parent, you never would have been put in this position.

JMHO

What an overgeneralization! Is this your advice for the parents of autistic children as well?

 

[KAMKIM]

I have a dd. We taught her at a very young age, if she acted out in public, we were going to take her to the bathroom.....yes we spanked her. but she did learn very quickly not to act out.

OP i am not specifically talking about you, but alot of parents these days dont care....They dont care if their child acts out, they ignore it....They dont care how well their child does in school, they dont care who their child hangs out with. Then we have a bunch of heatherns.

i hate hearing a child acting out, but what i hate even more, is when the parents ignore it!

This confuses me....you hit her to make her quiet? This didn't make her scream/cry?? Doesn't that defeat the purpose LOL

 

[KAMKIM]

First of all, it's gall not gull.

Secondly, yes - I would have the gall to call a child a brat in front of that child. Especially if said child were behaving as a brat. In the situation described, however, the child seems to have been behaving as an uncontrolled child. The woman was wrong to have called the child a brat. But I'm thinking that she probably wasn't wrong in what she called the mother. I could be wrong. I wasn't there. All I have is an accounting of what happened based on the OP and subsequent OPs.

In any case, the attitude displayed in my quote above is why people like me feel the way we do about others who have entitlement attitudes regarding their children and how others need to be tolerant of their children. What they don't realize ist that I don't have to be tolerant about these children's behavior if their behavior is disrupting everyone else around them. No one does.

Most of us have said that if we see the adult trying to control the situation, we're very tolerant of the situation. We may not like it, but we understand that these things sometimes happen.

But when we see an adult ignoring the situation, or even insisting that there's something wrong with us because we're not indulging their little snowflake's screaming stage he's going through, well....that translates to that particular adult not having respect for anyone else within earshot.

And that, my friend, is truly galling.

You are correcting my post? Seriously? Not only do you find the need to correct/punish other people's children you also feel the high and mighty right to correct other people's posts....eh...whatever makes you feel better about yourself

Calling a 2 year old a brat infront of the 2 year old is worse than the childs behavior. We expect 2 year olds to have more self control than adults these days?

 

[lovin diz]

This confuses me....you hit her to make her quiet? This didn't make her scream/cry?? Doesn't that defeat the purpose LOL

if she was going to cry, we were going to give her something to cry about. We tried other options first, but last option was the bathroom. It only took a few times until she learned not to act out in public.

 

[KAMKIM]

What an overgeneralization! Is this your advice for the parents of autistic children as well?

Good point!

 

[KAMKIM]

if she was going to cry, we were going to give her something to cry about. We tried other options first, but last option was the bathroom. It only took a few times until she learned not to act out in public.

If the OP had tried this there is a good chance the police would have been waiting for her when she was done cashing out. Parents cant win.

 

[Scurvy]

Again, I still think as a society, we (in the general sense) are becoming less and less tolerant of basically anything that disturbs or annoys us.

I actually think it's sort of the opposite. It seems more and more often I see behavior defended as being okay simply because it's coming from a child, when that same behavior used to be considered completely unacceptable.

Parents used to think their children shouldn't be screeching in public, and they removed them from the store if the child couldn't or wouldn't behave. Now, it almost seems that anything is acceptable if it's coming from a child, and those who feel otherwise are accused of being intolerent. So many people seem to feel that their children will be scarred forever if they are told to behave or to be quiet or that their behavior is bratty.

It's sort of the "boys will be boys" argument people used to use to excuse boys who were too rough, only now it has been extended to all children. Just because a behavior is common among small children doesn't make it socially acceptable. The fact that more and more parents see nothing wrong with their child screeching in public, and in fact defend the behavior, is ridiculous. Screeching "just to hear yourself" has never been acceptable. The fact that people are annoyed by that behavior isn't new - the fact that people excuse it is. The people who don't tolerate it now are not wrong; the parents who don't try to control it are.

 

[Carly_Roach]

What an overgeneralization! Is this your advice for the parents of autistic children as well?

Well, at least it got to page eight before the exceptions started showing up. Kind of like all those people who need to talk on their cell phones in a movie theatre or while driving in a car because they're on an emergency call. FTR, the OP said nothing about her child being autistic.

However, since we're talking Autism here, I'll stand by my opinion that ANY child causing a disruption needs to be removed from the scene. Autistic or not. And I'm speaking as an adult with Autism.

You prepare your child for the world; you don't prepare the world for your child.