and it seems like they are in stun mode, or really trying to figure out what it is that is different, I will often ask them, "Are you wondering why he is making those noises?" or "why he doesn't talk the way other kids do?" Some kids really want to know... but they have been told not to ask. I would rather have them get MY 15 second explanation about what is DIFFERENT than for them to imagine something is BAD about my kids. And it is amazing how many people will say, "Oh, he is just like Lucy..." or some other kid they know. My own little public service special needs advocacy campaign...
My afternoon/evening in a wheelchair at Epcot
- Thread starter Sarah H.
- Start date
- Joined
- Aug 23, 1999
We often get the kids asking "why is she in a wheelchair" and the parents trying to shush them. I usually step in then and say it's OK to ask and that "her legs don't work as well as yours". The kids will often ask more questions and like teri mentioned, they may even say some thing about a child they know who is similar. I always let them know that Katrina can understand them even though she can't talk to them. I think it's important to try to talk to the kids so they are not afraid of people with disabilities.
SueM in MN
Co-Moderator of disABILITIES
SueM in MN
Co-Moderator of disABILITIES
People often think that Marc doesn't understand... Not only can Marc understand them, he is so empathic he feels their confusion, and sometimes it makes him act out. And, his sister is right there, radar ears on... in addition to the usual sibling rivalry and aodption issues, it is hard to be the sister of a kid who gets so much attention because he is different. I have a vested interest in keeping everyone focussed and positive.
My DS is 10 and non verbal - sort of! He smiles and makes vowel sounds that indicate happiness OR displeasure! /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif His vision is not too hot either.
Anyway - we do not mind children asking at all - "what's wrong?" "We'd say, he can't walk or talk, but can understand you." "Are you having fun?" He wouldn't answer - but probably give you a big smile! We would answer - "of course!" Just the other day a little 3 yo girl gave him a kiss on the cheek after asking her questions. How sweet!
As far as smiles go - when I'm alone, I try to make eye contact with the seated person and the person accompanying him or her. (if there is one!) I always smile, whether they see me or not. Even I have a door dilemma - open or not to open... but I usually do open!
I find, though, that when we are all together (all 5 of us!) I don't generally look at other people much - probably because I don't want to catch the stares or the horrified looks - and that has me missing the smiles. I would much rather you smile at all of us - hopefully we will catch that smile! /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
Thanks -
Sue
Anyway - we do not mind children asking at all - "what's wrong?" "We'd say, he can't walk or talk, but can understand you." "Are you having fun?" He wouldn't answer - but probably give you a big smile! We would answer - "of course!" Just the other day a little 3 yo girl gave him a kiss on the cheek after asking her questions. How sweet!
As far as smiles go - when I'm alone, I try to make eye contact with the seated person and the person accompanying him or her. (if there is one!) I always smile, whether they see me or not. Even I have a door dilemma - open or not to open... but I usually do open!
I find, though, that when we are all together (all 5 of us!) I don't generally look at other people much - probably because I don't want to catch the stares or the horrified looks - and that has me missing the smiles. I would much rather you smile at all of us - hopefully we will catch that smile! /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
Thanks -
Sue
- Joined
- Dec 15, 1998
<font color=navy>Thank you for the very insightful post. I try to teach my kids to be considerate and not cut in front of wheelchairs, but in doing so forget to actually look at the person & smile a greeting. I will take special care now to recognize people for who they really are, and not overlook them unnecessarily.</font>
<font color=blue>Mary Jo</font>
My Disneyland Site
<font color=blue>Mary Jo</font>
My Disneyland Site
Allan Pederson
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2000
Hi, I just found this discussion board a few minutes ago. This thread has been very interesting to me.
I lost my legs to a landmine in Vietnam over 30 years ago, left above knee amputation, right below knee amputation. I was totally dependent on a wheelchair for the first 6 months. I couldn't wait to have artificial legs made. Once I had them, I refused to use a wheelchair in public again. I wanted to be "normal".
I have been to WDW twice. The first time I walked everywhere, no matter how sore I was. I am sure I was a pain to be around.
The second time was two years ago and I was convinced to rent an electric cart. That made the trip so much more enjoyable. It was embarrassing though, to me, to be able to go around the lines to get on rides. I was sure people were wondering "what's wrong with him"? I have always refused to wear shorts in public, so most people would never realize what my disability is.
In the last year I have begun to have more pain, evidently due to circulation problems, so I am sure I will be walking less and less in public.
Personally, I think the attitude towards disabled people has improved significantly in the USA in these 30 years that I have been one. Much of the rest of the world though, especially the E European countries, look with disgust at disabled people. Even Russia, I am told, toward their own disabled veterans. I would guess that WDW reflects more of the world's attitude than the rest of the USA.
A year ago I actually built up the courage to wear shorts in public. No one said a word. LOL
As far as your children asking questions. I think most disabled adults realize children are totally innocent and open. I no longer am offended by children asking me anything. I don't like to see adults trying to gag their kids, or scold them for staring. I think that gives the kids the impression there is something to fear.
If anyone has any question of me, I will do my best to answer it. I really hope this type of discussion continues. Thanks.
I lost my legs to a landmine in Vietnam over 30 years ago, left above knee amputation, right below knee amputation. I was totally dependent on a wheelchair for the first 6 months. I couldn't wait to have artificial legs made. Once I had them, I refused to use a wheelchair in public again. I wanted to be "normal".
I have been to WDW twice. The first time I walked everywhere, no matter how sore I was. I am sure I was a pain to be around.
The second time was two years ago and I was convinced to rent an electric cart. That made the trip so much more enjoyable. It was embarrassing though, to me, to be able to go around the lines to get on rides. I was sure people were wondering "what's wrong with him"? I have always refused to wear shorts in public, so most people would never realize what my disability is.
In the last year I have begun to have more pain, evidently due to circulation problems, so I am sure I will be walking less and less in public.
Personally, I think the attitude towards disabled people has improved significantly in the USA in these 30 years that I have been one. Much of the rest of the world though, especially the E European countries, look with disgust at disabled people. Even Russia, I am told, toward their own disabled veterans. I would guess that WDW reflects more of the world's attitude than the rest of the USA.
A year ago I actually built up the courage to wear shorts in public. No one said a word. LOL
As far as your children asking questions. I think most disabled adults realize children are totally innocent and open. I no longer am offended by children asking me anything. I don't like to see adults trying to gag their kids, or scold them for staring. I think that gives the kids the impression there is something to fear.
If anyone has any question of me, I will do my best to answer it. I really hope this type of discussion continues. Thanks.
- Joined
- Aug 23, 1999
Thanks to all of you for sharing things that I am sure are hard to share.
My daughter doesn't get the same reaction outside of WDW that she gets inside it. I think one reason may be that WDW has more visitors from all over the world than we encounter at home. Also, many visitors to WDW are doing "commando touring" and whoever or whatever gets in their way is going to get it.
SueM in MN
Co-Moderator of disABILITIES
My daughter doesn't get the same reaction outside of WDW that she gets inside it. I think one reason may be that WDW has more visitors from all over the world than we encounter at home. Also, many visitors to WDW are doing "commando touring" and whoever or whatever gets in their way is going to get it.
SueM in MN
Co-Moderator of disABILITIES
momngrandma
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2000
I really enjoy talking about my son when people (and especially children) ask questions about him. And I don't mind staring if it is accompanied by a smile -- as if they are thinking Robbie is cute or funny or loveable (and he is all three of those things!) I DO mind staring in a rude, ugly way, though! Whenever I see other disabled people about, or families with their disabled loved ones, I try always to smile and catch their eye in a friendly, compassionate, understanding way. They may not know I KNOW firsthand what they're going through, but I want them to know I'm not looking at them out of rudeness, but because I CARE.
after multiple trips to wdw, always in an ecv due to a back injury, i am about to go out and get an airhorn!! LOL maybe it would get the attention of people who are so busy pushing and shoving that they don't pay attention to the barely audible horns on the wdw ecv's@! one lady i saw this year had a supershooter, and some had other noise makers of their own to use as horns...while i'm not advocating the use of any of these, it just goes to show how bad the situation can get at times.
But what i really want the airhorn for is the castmember who hit me with his street cleaning machine(he was cleaning up after a parade) and yelled 'THANKS ALOT LADY!' he managed to break the side of the ecv, fortunately didn't injure me, but I just couldn't believe he said it!
I reported it at the gate as I left, but i also noted at least a dozen cast members who had been particularly helpful, and those whose names i could remember from their pins, i told management about as well. Some of them are spectacular, just like in any other business!
My other beef is, don't ever try to make reservations in Epcot if you are on an ecv, cast members can't see you there either! We were trying to sign my daughter up to swim w/the dolphins and were ignored as others were taken in front of us. Of course this didn't just have to do w/being disabled, it may have had to do w/the fact that the adult was in a wheel chair and 18 yrs olds aren't considered too important either!
But what i really want the airhorn for is the castmember who hit me with his street cleaning machine(he was cleaning up after a parade) and yelled 'THANKS ALOT LADY!' he managed to break the side of the ecv, fortunately didn't injure me, but I just couldn't believe he said it!
I reported it at the gate as I left, but i also noted at least a dozen cast members who had been particularly helpful, and those whose names i could remember from their pins, i told management about as well. Some of them are spectacular, just like in any other business!
My other beef is, don't ever try to make reservations in Epcot if you are on an ecv, cast members can't see you there either! We were trying to sign my daughter up to swim w/the dolphins and were ignored as others were taken in front of us. Of course this didn't just have to do w/being disabled, it may have had to do w/the fact that the adult was in a wheel chair and 18 yrs olds aren't considered too important either!
i know i have no problem with anyone asking me why i'm in an ecv or wheelchair. i think i can speak for a large number of those who are in a wheelchair and say, we don't mind kids who ask us questions, even when the questions get a little wild! LOL One little girl asked me why i didn't just rent a stroller, they would be so much more comfortable! and others have asked me how or why i'm there and i have no problem answering without getting into major details. JMHO!
- Joined
- Aug 23, 1999
Some of those stroller do look quite comfortable. Now, if they just made them in extra large size.....
We've had problems too with people ignoring my dd when she wants to buy something while sitting in her wheelchair. She is non-verbal, so she can't yell at them, but she understands very well and likes to be independent buying things sometimes. I can understand the clerks might not see her because some of the counters are high, but I get angry at some of the other guests. Don't they notice that she is sitting there with merchandise and money in her lap when they climb over her to get to the counter?\
SueM in MN
Co-Moderator of disABILITIES
We've had problems too with people ignoring my dd when she wants to buy something while sitting in her wheelchair. She is non-verbal, so she can't yell at them, but she understands very well and likes to be independent buying things sometimes. I can understand the clerks might not see her because some of the counters are high, but I get angry at some of the other guests. Don't they notice that she is sitting there with merchandise and money in her lap when they climb over her to get to the counter?\
SueM in MN
Co-Moderator of disABILITIES
I too have greatly benefited from this thread, having no experience to draw from. As a rule I explain to my 4 year old about how some folks bodies are different, then move the topic into do you think they like pie? or do you think they like knock-knock jokes? To get her considering the fact that they're people who feel, and gives her a new question to ask them if she decides to trot over for a chat.
To date I have felt a little uncomfortable approaching disabled people because I am (and I know she is) wildly curious about their condition. I'm secretly convinced (apparently wrongly so) that they're all sick of explaining and just want to get on with their business like everybody else. Nobody stops to ask me to explain my present state of being--I should extend the same courtesy.
I'll definitely make an effort to be more aware, more willing to just ask, or let my little one ask the burning question, to never forget to make eye contact or speak as though the person isn't there. I've always imagined handicapped and wheelchair-bound folks getting more attention and questions than they wanted, NEVER would have guessed they're largely ignored and avoided.
About stepping in front of wheelchairs OR kids views--it's a personal peeve. At Sea World and Busch Gardens (first trip to WDW will be 9-11!) if I know there are children seated behind me at the shows I make a point to ask the parent if the kids can see OK or if I should move my big melon.
This whole thread has been a good reminder and eye opener for me. I'm glad to have happened upon it.
Dianna
To date I have felt a little uncomfortable approaching disabled people because I am (and I know she is) wildly curious about their condition. I'm secretly convinced (apparently wrongly so) that they're all sick of explaining and just want to get on with their business like everybody else. Nobody stops to ask me to explain my present state of being--I should extend the same courtesy.
I'll definitely make an effort to be more aware, more willing to just ask, or let my little one ask the burning question, to never forget to make eye contact or speak as though the person isn't there. I've always imagined handicapped and wheelchair-bound folks getting more attention and questions than they wanted, NEVER would have guessed they're largely ignored and avoided.
About stepping in front of wheelchairs OR kids views--it's a personal peeve. At Sea World and Busch Gardens (first trip to WDW will be 9-11!) if I know there are children seated behind me at the shows I make a point to ask the parent if the kids can see OK or if I should move my big melon.
This whole thread has been a good reminder and eye opener for me. I'm glad to have happened upon it.
Dianna
Maryann in MA
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2000
I had to answer your posting, as on my recent trip to WDW my knee decided it just couldn't walk the whole park, after much convincing my husband talked me into a wheelchair. Now for years, my daughter has had no choice to but to use a wheelchair and now I understand why she dislikes it so much. People do look at you as if you are using a wheelchair to get ahead of them. Even the cast members that I dealt with were rude to me, one made mention that I could handle getting in and out of the wheelchair" pretty well for someone with a bad knee". My daughter has Fibromyalgia, and if anyone knows anything about that she is not able to walk the parks, but she has been subject to more rude comments then anyone deserves. I think that not only visitors to WDW are uneducated, but the cast members need to ride a few hours in a wheelchair and then maybe, just maybe people with disabilities will be treated with the dignity they deserve. /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
Maryann in MA
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2000
I had to answer your posting, as on my recent trip to WDW my knee decided it just couldn't walk the whole park, after much convincing my husband talked me into a wheelchair. Now for years, my daughter has had no choice but to use a wheelchair and now I understand why she dislikes it so much. People do look at you as if you are using a wheelchair to get ahead of them. Even the cast members that I dealt with were rude to me, one made mention that I could handle getting in and out of the wheelchair" pretty well for someone with a bad knee". My daughter has Fibromyalgia, and if anyone knows anything about that she is not able to walk the parks, but she has been subject to more rude comments then anyone deserves. I think that not only visitors to WDW are uneducated, but the cast members need to ride a few hours in a wheelchair and then maybe, just maybe people with disabilities will be treated with the dignity they deserve. /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
I would love to tag a few of the CMs and guests who were rude to us on this recent trip, and send them off to a disability awareness training. I wish we could all get together and make an awareness video... and then play it on infinite loop on the Resorts Infomercial Channel, and in a few key CM training sessions...If they only knew how their comments and disregard hurts!
- Joined
- Aug 23, 1999
in recent years, they have added disability training to education for doctors at some medical schools. They get a profile of what their disabilty is and then get fixed up to simulate it, including things like ears plugged with cotton, glasses smeared with vaseline to simulate hearing and vision problems. Some get knees bound with stiff bandages that prick when they move or they are not allowed to move out of a wheelchair. I think that would be good mandatory education for everyone. PSueM in MNBRCo-Moderator of A HREF=http://wdwinfo.infopop.net/OpenTopic/page?q=Ya=frms=40009993f=38009194 TARGET=_blankdisABILITIES/ABRIMG SRC=http://disneyclipart.simplenet.com/Movies/Cinderella/Cinderella/cinderella08.gif
has dis ever considered providing a space at counters that works for people in ecv's or wheelchairs? it would have been really helpful this year when i was being totally ignored because in my ecv i'm to 'short' Just a thought! I don't remember seeing any low counters. Also a line for those trying to get food would be helpful. We were attempting to get food last year at epcot and had a horrible time because of the way the fast food lines were set up. Usually I go w/my husband who can get in line, but last year i was alone and it was impossible to get food. Thank goodness for some neighborly people who offered to help me out from the next table. And the next time someone is feeling like bashing 'non-USA'ers'(since i overhear this way to often in the park) the kids who helped me out were a tour group from brazil!
LuvN~Travel
<font color=blue>A DMV employee noticed that I los
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2000
Linda, I think a lot of it has to do with the child you are with and the situation. If the person who is 'different' or is in a wheelchair, is fairly close, I might just tell the child to ask them if I think the person is a verbal person. ( as opposed to having something like Cerebral palsy which can render some speechless)that can give the 'challenged' person a chance to answer the question in their own words.
If we are in a hurry, or just too far away to speak to them, I just tell them the truth. My kids now take it in stride if they see something or someone different. My own daughter has a craniofacial abnormality that brings on questions of it's own. So I don't mind answering questions of others.<G>
Now if I can just get the six year old to not loudly bring up the 'smoking' issue in public.....<G>
(he did that one recently when we opted to sit in the smoking section at a local restaurant. Whooo boy!)<G>
Kim
If we are in a hurry, or just too far away to speak to them, I just tell them the truth. My kids now take it in stride if they see something or someone different. My own daughter has a craniofacial abnormality that brings on questions of it's own. So I don't mind answering questions of others.<G>
Now if I can just get the six year old to not loudly bring up the 'smoking' issue in public.....<G>
(he did that one recently when we opted to sit in the smoking section at a local restaurant. Whooo boy!)<G>
Kim
I also experienced WDW this past August as a wheelchair/EVC user. I had a cast on my foot/leg and wasn't allowed to put a lot of weight on it. I can't tell you how many people made comments about wishing that they were in the chair and could get through lines quicker. I would tell them how I wished that I could be up and walking around like they were. They just didn't get it. I found that children, when caught staring, would sometimes look away but most times would look at me and then I would smile and say something to them about how their day was going. Some felt comfortable enough to ask me why I had a cast and some even asked if it hurt and would I get better. Majority of people were very nice. I only encountered a few rude people and I only lost it once when a gentleman(and I say that loosely) looked around and obviously saw me, walked right in front of me and stopped on a downhill slant. Of course the EVC couldn't stop as fast as he and I instinctly put my good foot down to stop the EVC and not run into him. He turned around and yelled, "Wow, that really hurt. What is the matter with you?" Well, my temper flared(we were at AK and it was hot) I looked right at him and apoligized and explained that we were going down hill and the EVC doesn't have brakes and it was very hard to stop it very quickly. I apoligized and said I was very sorry but maybe he should not stop so suddenly in the future. He looked around and saw that his yelling at the poor lady in the EVC had backfired and said "OH, I didn't know" Using the wheelchair really opened my eyes about disabilities.
I also have a stange incident that happened while I was on the resort bus, at the end of the day going back to our resort. I turned in the EVC at the end of the day and was on the bus(remember I have a cast on) We were getting ready to leave and we were one of the first 10 people to get on the bus. As the bus was filling up a mother and child ran up and sat in the last two seats, beating out an older lady. Well, a wheelchair bound person(who was with the mother and child) wanted to get on and the bus driver came back to my daughter and myself and we were informed that we were sitting in the handicap seating area that can be raised for the wheelchair and that we would have to get up. I looked at the bus driver and mentioned that I had a cast on my leg and he didn't care one bit. So I looked around, especially at the mother and daughter who ran over people to get the last seat and they never offered their seats to me or my daughter who had to give up her seat also. Well, long story short I stood up and another family(from France) offered me a seat and I took it. I felt that the bus driver was rude and the family of the wheelchair bound man were jerks. If it had not been the end of the day and I was tired I would have made a scene.(Did I mention that another bus pulled up beside us and filled up and left in the time that we waited for the wheelchair to get on) Well, I got to see more of that family during the week because they were staying at the same resort as us and almost everytime showed up late for the bus and told driver that they just had to make the bus, could the bus wait for them. They were very rude. I felt sorry for the man in the wheelchair. I don't think he had a clue that his family was being so rude. They really had the attitude that everyone owed them something. Anyway just a story about one disabled person being put aside for another. The bus driver was in the wrong to hold up a bus that was almost filled to load a wheelchair and make a person stand with a cast on their leg to accomodate the wheelchair especially when another bus pulled up and left in the same amount of time.
I know that this is long, but this thread really struck a nerve. I realize that families have given up a lot of freedom when someone is in the wheelchair but don't expect the special treatment. It is a courtesy to be in front of the line or special place on the bus, not a right. In all of the attractions that I got preverential(sp) treatment on, I always said that I would wait until people in line who had been waiting longer than I could ride. The CMs were great and never let me wait.
Please don't everyone get offended. I realize that these people are in the minority but when I medically needed to be seated on the bus this family(who appeared to be healty enough to be rude) seemed to think that the rest of us owed them something.
I also have a stange incident that happened while I was on the resort bus, at the end of the day going back to our resort. I turned in the EVC at the end of the day and was on the bus(remember I have a cast on) We were getting ready to leave and we were one of the first 10 people to get on the bus. As the bus was filling up a mother and child ran up and sat in the last two seats, beating out an older lady. Well, a wheelchair bound person(who was with the mother and child) wanted to get on and the bus driver came back to my daughter and myself and we were informed that we were sitting in the handicap seating area that can be raised for the wheelchair and that we would have to get up. I looked at the bus driver and mentioned that I had a cast on my leg and he didn't care one bit. So I looked around, especially at the mother and daughter who ran over people to get the last seat and they never offered their seats to me or my daughter who had to give up her seat also. Well, long story short I stood up and another family(from France) offered me a seat and I took it. I felt that the bus driver was rude and the family of the wheelchair bound man were jerks. If it had not been the end of the day and I was tired I would have made a scene.(Did I mention that another bus pulled up beside us and filled up and left in the time that we waited for the wheelchair to get on) Well, I got to see more of that family during the week because they were staying at the same resort as us and almost everytime showed up late for the bus and told driver that they just had to make the bus, could the bus wait for them. They were very rude. I felt sorry for the man in the wheelchair. I don't think he had a clue that his family was being so rude. They really had the attitude that everyone owed them something. Anyway just a story about one disabled person being put aside for another. The bus driver was in the wrong to hold up a bus that was almost filled to load a wheelchair and make a person stand with a cast on their leg to accomodate the wheelchair especially when another bus pulled up and left in the same amount of time.
I know that this is long, but this thread really struck a nerve. I realize that families have given up a lot of freedom when someone is in the wheelchair but don't expect the special treatment. It is a courtesy to be in front of the line or special place on the bus, not a right. In all of the attractions that I got preverential(sp) treatment on, I always said that I would wait until people in line who had been waiting longer than I could ride. The CMs were great and never let me wait.
Please don't everyone get offended. I realize that these people are in the minority but when I medically needed to be seated on the bus this family(who appeared to be healty enough to be rude) seemed to think that the rest of us owed them something.
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