Mother of the Groom dresses> opinions?

[kaytieeldr]

That's not a nice way to start her relationship. It's very deceptive and manipulating(and frankly transparent) If the OP loves the wild dress, she should buy it and find another occasion at which to wear it. Her son's wedding is not an appropriate occasion. Sometimes it's not all about was you want.


ETA: I saw you posted a clarification while I was posting this.

Fine. Then she should buy it, NOT show it to her FDIL, and put it away for some other event.

Just, sometimes one (I, for example) need a reason to buy something, even if it's just in my mind.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

Wow, I don't think she's trying to "show up" the mother of the bride. It's her fault mob is 65? She's 47 for crying out loud, she doesn't have to look old if she doesn't want to.

As another "wedding professional" I say if you want to change dresses,do it. I like the colorful one, but agree it may be too much.

That doesn't mean you need to grab a dress in a shade of blue and look like the Queen Mother either tho. Stiff taffetta, fugitabowdit.

Go for something you like, youthful if you want, but not teen. There's a lot out there. Enjoy hunting for it! 47 isn't old unless you let it be.

 

[kaytieeldr]

In fact, you specifically told her not to mention it:

Not to mention it 'now' aka at the time she buys the dress; not not to mention it at all, if you read the whole post.

It's moot, since I've conceded to Magic Mom.

 

[MIGrandma]

I think the first dress is beautiful and very classy.

I think the second dress is butt ugly.

I am also wondering why you feel the need for two dresses for your son's wedding? I've never heard of the mother-of-the-groom changing dresses between the wedding and reception.

 

[Magic Mom]

Fine. Then she should buy it, NOT show it to her FDIL, and put it away for some other event.

Just, sometimes one (I, for example) need a reason to buy something, even if it's just in my mind.

Right, I saw the explanation of what you meant. Your original post made it seem like you were suggesting she should wear it top the wedding and lie to the bride. But I realize that's not what you meant.

 

[Magic Mom]

I think the OP can find a good compromise, a really stunning dress that is classy, still makes her feel youthful and is appropriate for her new DIL's special day.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Right, I saw the explanation of what you meant. Your original post made it seem like you were suggesting she should wear it top the wedding and lie to the bride. But I realize that's not what you meant.

Oh, no! Although I was just looking at it again and thought, "Gee, if this came in a solid color..."

 

[Swan4Me]

I love this one

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/js-boutique-draped-jersey-gown/3199599?origin=category&resultback=1710

I'm the MOG for a Hudson Valley/New York State wedding next year and havent heard of the custom of changing dresses from church to reception
Ours is an evening garden wedding then reception at a country club so i plan on one dress-but a "glam" dress.

I also think your 2nd dress is too flashy

 

[WowLookAtThat]

I am also wondering why you feel the need for two dresses for your son's wedding? I've never heard of the mother-of-the-groom changing dresses between the wedding and reception.

That's what I don't get. I know that some brides wear an elaborate gown to the ceremony and then a simple one for the reception. I have never heard of the groom's mother doing this and it does seem a bit attention-grabbing.

 

[goofy4tink]

I got married for the second time when I was 42. My ds got married when I was 58. I seldom march to the beat of the same drummer as everyone else does...and don't look my age (62) one little bit. BUT...there is no way I would change dresses between the ceremony and reception. It would reek of 'it's all about me'. Not saying that was the OPs thought, but this day isn't about her or her 'out of the box' mentality.
Frumpiness is a state of mind. When my ds got married, I was torn as to what to wear. He was getting married on a boat, in Tampa, with the reception on the boat as well...obviously. The bride was wearing a full, formal wedding gown even though it was her second marriage..and it was night-time. I wanted to be dressy, but not over the top...I mean, this was my son getting married. I kept asking my son what the mother of the bride was wearing. His comment??? 'Mom, don't worry about it. She is younger than you, but looks and acts about 20 years more than you. Wear what you want. You will be fine.' So I chose a black filmy floor length skirt, with the requiste slit up to my thigh, and a subtly beaded top. Dressy but not over the top. The mother of the bride?? A light blue polyester pantsuit. I guess it's about different customs. Anyway.....I felt fine in my outfit.

The second time I got married, my mother (who was only 19 years older than me) found a dress that almost mirrored my bridesmaid/matron of honor dresses. I was horrified. I tried asking her if she thought she might look a little too much like part of the bridal party...'no, dear, I just want to fit in nicely'. But, she did look a bit 'out there'. But not my problem. She looked younger than her years, but she kinda looked silly in that dress. On the other hand, my m-i-l couldn't be bothered buying a new dress. She wore the same dress she wore to another son's wedding...and she didn't much care that it did not look great with the colors we had chosen for the wedding party or my mother's outfit.

So, rather than look like you're trying to compete with the bride (not saying that's your intent, but it is how it will be interpreted by others), find a stylish dress that says mother of the groom who is young at heart and loves to partaayyy!!! You can do that without being frumpy or matronly. I hear what you're saying about not wanting to look frumpy, I don't either. But, you certainly don't want to err on the side of being a 'scene stealer' at your son's wedding.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

Fudge can't get it to show

 

[Magic Mom]

What about something like this?

 

[Swan4Me]

I still haven't figured out how to post pictures, but what about something like this http://www.discountdressshop.com/ro...shopping+engine&utm_campaign=FEEDWIZARDGOOGLE - long, elegant, rose so it coordinates with burgundy (and you now know you must coordinate with the MotB ).

...

I'm 58 and cant stand that dress you linked-too frumpy

I think the MOB 's color choice is odd-BURGUNDY???To go with Teal??
I would not try to co-ordinate with MOB
Maybe a deeper teal? or Saphire blue?

 

[MrsDuck]

I am really afraid to answer this honestly.

But you asked?

So, as a wedding professional, here is my opinion:

The first dress is fantastic, however, I would give the bride the option of choosing color. As a courtesy.

The second I would absolutely not wear. The dress screams attention, and it shouldn't be on you. The couple should be the center of attention all night, and that dress would certainly still at least some of it.

This this this.

 

[Nancyg56]

The second I would absolutely not wear. The dress screams attention, and it shouldn't be on you. The couple should be the center of attention all night, and that dress would certainly still at least some of it.

My DS got married in September and I shopped for a dress with my DD. I saw a gorgeous evening gown that was lovely. I wanted it but felt that it was not a MOG dress but one that I would wear on a formal night on a cruise. That is how I tried to differentiate gowns.

I don't like the 2nd dress at all! It is too flamboyant and over the top and it is a very young dress! Unless you had your son at 12 I think it is too young for a Mother of the groom. and to "I'm the center of attention, look at me!"

You do realize that as mother of the groom you get to pick last? What color are the bridesmaids? and what color is the Mother of the bride wearing?

As my sister said when her son got married last year, I'm the mother of the groom, my job is to wear beige and keep my mouth shut. She didn't wear beige but she picked hers AFTER the Mother of the bride and after consulting with the bride.

.

I have to disagree. I discussed color with my DDIL and was happy to honor her request that I refrain from wearing black. My nephews MIL did that and not in a good way I told her anout the beige thing and she just laughed. I would nto wear beige to a funeral, never mind my DS wedding and she knew that.

I did discuss dress options with her mother who is quite a bit older than me. We had a different budget, I waited years for my DS to find his Bride and I saved for my dress. She bought hers 8 months in advance fro JC Penney outlet, one size too small and in you guessed it................biege. I was not out to outshine her but I was not going to apologize because I did not want to wear a $69 dress.

Ok I just got slapped in the head. I think I've been in denial that I'm in fact more concerned about accentuating our age difference than just choosing a great youthful gown. I know that sounds horrible. The bride's mother is a lovely woman, I don't want to hurt her feelings. I swear I didn't realize I was being so shallow.


I just want to look good without being too conservative at the reception.

:

I do not feel that you are shallow. My DS DMIL is lovely as well. WE are simply two different people. I dieted for months, she did not. Again, I will not apologize that all of us, DDIL and DS included, were excited for the wedding and the entire family worked on a plan together so that we would have a blast shopping. Aisling, you are a lovely woman as well, ask your DDIL what colors she would like, as if she wants you and her mother to have matching hemlines and then go shopping for a dress that you like. If you just keep in minsdthat this is not NYE you will be fine.

But is it wrong for a mom to want to look good at her son's wedding, without taking attention away from the bride? Honest to heaven, it never even entered my mind to do this to my FDIL.

Absolutely not. In our family my oldest was the last to marry. He was ecstatic that he found his Love and we were all thrilled as well. Every one of us gals went shopping. We all wanted to look good and we did!

Seriously though, you're the MoG. Wear beige and blend! I know 47 is not "old", but the reality is that you're old enough to have a child who is marrying. Like other ceremonies in our lives, we each have a role to play. In this wedding, your role is the MoG. At the ceremony, you light your candle. You sit on your side of the church. You smile. You radiate. At the reception, while the youngsters "partay", you mingle. You greet. You toast. You share a dance with your son. (If it's a dancing sort of wedding.) You don't get smashed. You don't go crazy on the dance floor. You do nothing that will redirect attention from the bride and groom to you and any antics of yours. This day is theirs.
.

I agree with almost everything but that beige thing. That is outdated.

You're right, and all of a sudden I feel ashamed. I never thought i want to upstage the bride, but yes, i did want to stand out as "wow; that's your mom??"

This has hit me hard. but I guess I needed it. I didn't realize my proper place in my son's wedding. I do now.

Stop feeling ashamed!!!!!!!!!!!! Your proper place at your sons wedding is as a very happy proud beautiful woman. There is no back seat except that you do not want to drive in front of the B&G. I did not want to make DDIL's mom look dumpy but again, I would not wear burlap. My DS would have been horrified if I did that and he was actually very upset that his DMIL did not prioritize her outfit for her own DD wedding over Farmville Cash.

Wow, I don't think she's trying to "show up" the mother of the bride. It's her fault mob is 65? She's 47 for crying out loud, she doesn't have to look old if she doesn't want to.

As another "wedding professional" I say if you want to change dresses,do it. I like the colorful one, but agree it may be too much.

That doesn't mean you need to grab a dress in a shade of blue and look like the Queen Mother either tho. Stiff taffetta, fugitabowdit.

Go for something you like, youthful if you want, but not teen. There's a lot out there. Enjoy hunting for it! 47 isn't old unless you let it be.

Thank You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I always resented that attitude that a MOG was as important as a piece of dust. BEIGE When my DD married her MIL showed up looking like she was going to a picnic. We did the entire wedding, no help from them. Not a problem, our DD and our honor to give her a nice wedding. I wore an outfit befitting my DD wedding. When my youngest DS married her mother did nothing, offered nothing and came looking like she was going to a garden party. Once again we were honored to give our child a nice wedding but I was not going to wear a cotton day dress in order to accommodate her. DDIL checked my dress and was fine with it. When my oldest married we had already given him his wedding gift and DDIL parents did nothing. They showed up. DS did not care, both of them knew what our contribution to their special day was. It is mu opinion that parents honor their children's special days by planning for them. While I never set out to outshine anyone DH and I both allocated time and money in order to let my DS know that he mattered enough to us to save for him and to prioritize his day before any purchases for us.

 

[Nancyg56]

This is similar to the dress that I bought. It was teal and the neckline was not as low and I had sleeves in lace. It was actually a leftover fro the previous year but I have no clue was is new and what is not so it was fine. I got DDIL approval before I purchased it.

http://www.jasminebridal.com/img_pic/product_img/387_520/MOB/Jade Couture/K148010-F.jpghttp://www.jasminebridal.com/img_pic/product_img/387_520/MOB/Jade%20Couture/K148010-F.jpg

 

[Swan4Me]

What about something like this?

The MOB for my son's wedding next year wore something similar-more gold colored- when her oldest DD got married 3 years ago & the bridesmaids wore aqua-this is Gorgeous!

 

[goofyintoronto]

My son is getting married next July. It's a formal evening wedding. The Mass will be in Catholic church. I want to buy this dress for the church and change into the next gown for the reception. My sons says the gown will make me look like an Easter egg, but he says go with it if it's what I want.

What do you think?

Both dresses would flatter my shape.

Wow! The 2nd dress is a horrifying eye sore!!!

The first dress is quite lovely thou.

 

[WowLookAtThat]

Seeing the first dress again I notice the short jacket (bolero?) and can it be taken off? Because if it can the dress can be paired with a lovely necklace and some earrings to add some glitz to the outfit.

 

[nmmom95]

Ok, this is important: so the consensus is that I should NOT have 2 dresses (church and reception)? Have you seen this done before? Im sort of a free-spirit and like to dance to my own drum, not a stickler to conformity, but this IS a very important occasion and I don't want to make waves. I admit I never saw a MOB/G change dresses.

My mom and MIL changed. We had a 2 pm wedding and they both wore dresses with jackets. It was in a Catholic church. The reception was at 6pm, so they both changed to floor length gowns.