Mother of the Groom dresses> opinions?

[Magic Mom]

When I saw the second dress, I'm afraid to say, I honestly thought you were joking. Because not only does it scream "look at me!" but it's also (to me) very, very unattractive.

Yes, like a 1980's hotel bedspread.

 

[scrapquitler]

I think you should definitely have your dh take you to Vegas, and get that 2nd dress for that. Then you can party your butt off, and look gorgeous!!

This is a great idea. Besides that, planning a trip for a week or two after the wedding will give you something to focus on besides the rehersal dinner!

My parents took a vacation after our wedding, they decided that a getaway would be a good thing, and it was. After each of my brothers got married they took a short trip as well.

 

[Miffy]

Ok. I read this entire thread and because I'm procrastinating about something I must do, I have to post my opinion!

Ask your son and future DIL about the dresses you're considering. No one else's opinion matters. It's their wedding.

Frankly, if you were going to be my MIL and those were the dresses you'd selected, I'd say "Go for it!" I'd want everyone to feel happy and have fun on my wedding day.

 

[Kae]

Funny thing, Kae - that's the first dress that shows up when you click on "wear again looks"!

Whats even funnier is if you click on the whole "wear it again" I think over half the BM dresses are there.

Kae

 

[Tuffcookie]

I love the first dress but, personally, would chose something else for the reception. BUT it's your choice! Have a wonderful time!

TC

 

[WowLookAtThat]

Yes, like a 1980's hotel bedspread.

Lol, I think my dad had a pair of Zubaz pants with that pattern.

(jk, seriously OP I think you got good advice and great links. I know you will look great)

 

[Buckalew11]

That second dress is just hideous. You'd get attention alright and not the attention you wanted. Glad to see it won't be showing up at the reception.

A friend of mine's son just got married and she actually did wear a beige colored dress. She looked stunning! Very elegant, very classy. Even in beige you saw her and thought about how beautiful she was and how it was hard to believe, "That's your mother?!"

A client of mine went shopping with her future MIL for the MIL's dress for the wedding. Picked one and out and bought it. Classy, very pretty, but she blended...

On the wedding day, she ditched that dress and came in wearing her over the top flashy, trashy dress and everyone was shocked and talking. Twenty years later this woman is still doing it--she looks like crap in her over the top, attention getting outfits. It is absolutely ridiculous. Her granddaughters (in their twenties) could not pull off what she tries too.

Have fun planning the wedding, picking out dresses for the rehearsal dinner and wedding.

 

[HannaBelle]

OP, I just have to tell you that you are going to be an awesome MIL if you put this much thought into your FDIL's feelings!

I had a cousin that got married and her MIL read a book about being a good MIL. I was so impressed that she was that concerned about their relationship! That fact that she even thought to "work" at the relationship puts her way way way ahead of most MIL's!

I love the bronze gown with the sheer jacket and I love the PP suggestion of a gown with a jacket for the wedding, then removing the jacket for the reception. Excellent idea! I also love the idea of asking the FDIL what color would she prefer.

I also do not think you need to fade into the background. There is a whole range of "shades of gray" between multicolored hotness and beige nothingness.

 

[kt_mom]

I haven't read the whole thread, just the first page. I do think that second dress is awful for a wedding but especailly so for the mother of the groom.

That being said, neither my own mother or my MIL consulted with me on their dress. My mom picked hers out and I told DH the color and I think he mentioned it to his mom. Day of the wedding, my mom and MIL show up in the exact same dress, just different colors.

 

[nancycg56]

Love the first dress; the second one, not so much.

My daughter is getting married in June and I am thankful she doesn't care what I wear as long as it isn't jeans, LOL! I won't wear a dress but I will wear a dressy pants and jacket. Her wedding is outside so it can't be too hot (the outfit) or I will pass out and then I would be the center of attention which I hate anyway I am not even going to think about an outfit until after the first of the year. And I will have my daughter with me to give approval.

 

[jen0610]

My mom and MIL changed. We had a 2 pm wedding and they both wore dresses with jackets. It was in a Catholic church. The reception was at 6pm, so they both changed to floor length gowns.

I was going to say the same thing.

We had a set of friends from our Army days, that their moms did this. Married in a full Catholic Mass. Both moms wore a dress similar to the 1st one the OP picked out. For the reception, that evening they both had on the flashy gowns.

The dresses they wore to the reception, would not have gotten a nod of approval from the father who oversaw the wedding. It just wasn't done in his church.

And for what it is worth. The couple we knew, came from the NYC area. The wedding style they had, we would have called it a "black tie" wedding in our area, but to them it was the norm of what they grew up with.

 

[Coconut36]

I am really afraid to answer this honestly.

But you asked?

So, as a wedding professional, here is my opinion:

The first dress is fantastic, however, I would give the bride the option of choosing color. As a courtesy.

The second I would absolutely not wear. The dress screams attention, and it shouldn't be on you. The couple should be the center of attention all night, and that dress would certainly still at least some of it.

Not a pro but totally agree. IMO the first dress is lovely and quite appropriate but the color is a concern..not sure how "pink" it is IRL but on my monitor is looks more "blush" like and could seem "bride like" in person if it is quite light. I would absolutely run it by the bride and get her take on it..what other colors does it come in?

The 2nd dress seems highly inappropriate for a MoG..that is more of a party type dress not a dress for a wedding.

 

[ilovejack02]

Please don't wear beige ; ).

Check Jcrew.com in the wedding section for MOG dresses .. really pretty stuff, not screaming look at me, but def not boring , very classy and a bit sexy. They would also work for rehearsal dinner, if it is a dressy event .

 

[tlbwriter]

OP, I just have to tell you that you are going to be an awesome MIL if you put this much thought into your FDIL's feelings!

Not only that, but you've handled a thread full of people bashing your taste and common sense with a great deal of grace.

 

[elizke]

I see the advice has been given and received, so there is no further need for comment on the dresses, but I gotta say, I admire your boldness and fun! And you must be good in the figure department too, as, on me, that second dress would say "HEY, every one LOOK, look at all the weight I've gained over the years all round the middle! HEY, did ya hear me? Look at it!" So good for you girl!!!!

I think it's up to you about the changing, but I've been to plenty of church weddings and don't think you need to worry about wearing a floor length gown. If it's strapless I'd wear a matching shawl or sparkly sweater though. I think you can find something that feels like your classiest self that will allow the bride to take center stage in family pictures, but is still fun and all YOU, and something comfortable for all day would be easier. It is a very long day!

I've been a step-mother of the groom, and then bride, and both were far trickier trust me. I was early 40s. Did not want matronly beaded jackets but didn't want or have a figure for teenager at the prom, and then not wanting to outshine the kids' mom, but still trying to look good...... It was a tightrope finding those dresses!

Good luck and have fun!

 

[Mama Who]

Why oh why did I post this. I love that dress, yes even with the poofy bustline and cinching, but it's off my list. I should have not asked for advice, just bought it, wear it, have fun in it, and take my lumps and whispers behind my back. Nah!

If you love the dress, buy it. Wear it to some other event and enjoy yourself. It isn't my taste and it isn't what I'd wear at your age (or mine for that matter) but it isn't screamingly inappropriate in general- just for your son's wedding. Wear it to a party, dance the night away and feel 20 years younger.

 

[pigletgirl]

My MIL actually picked her dress before my mom did, and boy was my mom upset!! She ended up getting over it, and it wasnt an issue after that.

But, I'm not a fan of either. The first one looks like it would be for a woman much older than yourself and second is interesting, probably not the best for a wedding.

 

[Aisling]

Thank you all very much.

I've gotten more helpful advice here from the DIS than from tons of internet sites on the topic, even with the harsh psychoanalysis thrown in for good measure. I really want to be a good MIL right from the start, and who knew it could have been strained all because of a dress. But I still like that butt-ugly dress!

You've been so kind. Even though I have argued with many of you in the past, this topic is very important to me and you guys are the best.

I'll keep you updated when the final decision is made some months from now.

 

[beaucoup]

You're right, and all of a sudden I feel ashamed. I never thought i want to upstage the bride, but yes, i did want to stand out as "wow; that's your mom??"

This has hit me hard. but I guess I needed it. I didn't realize my proper place in my son's wedding. I do now.

You can still get those comments. My MIL wore ivory and lots of diamonds. She has blonde / white hair. Very well put together lady for her age. 5 piercings in each ear. Diamond studs in each piercings. People often say to DH, wow, that's your mom? You don't have to look like a clown to do. Classy & elegant get the same remarks!!!!

We had a royal blue wedding. My mom wore light blue. MIL in ivory. I have no problem saying MIL looks nicer than my mom. MIL was beautiful that day, but she didn't upstage me. And she doesn't stand out more than anyone else in any of the photos. As it should be.

MIL picked last & was worried I wouldn't like the dress because it was ivory. It looked beautiful on her & didn't clash with any other dresses so I was fine with it. I wore white.

 

[Patty3]

Three years ago, all three of my children got married in the same year. Looking for the perfect dress can be very hard and stressful. I absolutely love the gown Magic Mom posted as a strapless. Since you live in Brooklyn, who not have some fun and go to Kleinfields and see what they have.