Mother forces son to drink hot sauce as punishment

[Jennasis]

And also forces him (boy is 7 years old, and was adopted from Russia) to take an ice cold shower.

She was charged with child abuse (though she pled not guilty). Her story was on Dr. Phil, but I saw it on the Today Show this morning.

Editing to add in the video clip for newcomers to the thread: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/3041445/vp/41366717#41366717

Thoughts?

 

[FireDancer]

What do they mean by drink hot sauce? We got a drop of Tabasco sauce on the tongue for talking back which I wouldn't have an issue with. Downing a bottle of it though would be a bit far.

As for cold showers, I take those on occasion after long runs or races so in itself I don't think it is abuse but perhaps in addition to the other issue it compounds the problem.

 

[Big Cuddly Bear]

My kids drink hot sauce like water..... my one daughter literally drank about 2 ounces of tabasco sauce to show off to her friends. My kids use habanero sauce almost every other day, it seems.

But I guess the hot sauce is abuse if it is truly hot to the child. My kids have been using it since about age 5.

Now, the icy cold shower is worse, as I see it. That affects your whole body all at once.

 

[Jennasis]

In the video she poured the bottle into his mouth and then made him swallow. The kid didn't seem terribly upset about that part, but the shower...yikes, it was tough to watch.

 

[wvjules]

Was the icy cold shower after the hot sauce or before? Maybe it was to cool the child down after the tabasco?

I'm not sure where I stand on this issue.

 

[mhsjax]

People, really. My kids love spicy food, but that isn't the same as forcing a child to drink hot sauce. To even question that is just beyond belief to me.

Also to take a cold shower, ok maybe nice after a long run, but maybe just maybe she lived in an area that has cold weather, and just maybe it was really cold out side and she forced the child to take a cold shower, sound pleasant, I don't think so. People like this make me sick. I am here with my 9 year old home sick, and I look at him and think how can anyone be so evil to make a child do this. They should be dipped on honey and them have fire ants put al over them. Yeah, I like that idea.

OMG I can't believe the responses on here. How can anyone not know where they stand on this. That is disturbing.

 

[Acklander]

Personally, it sounds like bullying, but I guess I'd have to see in what context she doled out the punishment. If she used the hot sauce as firedancer described, I wouldn't see the issue - it's not something I'd choose to do, but I wouldn't consider it "abuse". I don't know what being adopted has to do with anything though.

 

[Jennasis]

Here is a link to the video http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/3041445/vp/41366717#41366717

 

[luvwinnie]

I think she needs serious help. She seems just plain mean to me. That poor kid.

 

[Free4Life11]

I watched the video and I definitely think what she did was abuse! How cruel and mean, I don't know how anyone could do that to a child they love!

 

[MistressMerryweather]

Horrific. Absolutely horrific.

 

[FireDancer]

In the video she poured the bottle into his mouth and then made him swallow.

Then yes, I think using that as punishment is abuse. Still no opinion on the shower though.

 

[Jennasis]

Then yes, I think using that as punishment is abuse. Still no opinion on the shower though.

Why no opinion? Did you watch the video?

I assume when you chose to take cold shower after your run, that A) you were hot and sweaty and the shower was a relief and B) that as an able bodied adult, you chose to take that shower.

 

[Pooh Crew]

I saw the original airing on Dr. Phil and it was very hard to watch. She is a mother at her wits end on how to discipline (which I believe means to teach) her child who was adopted from Russia and has some pretty severe attachment issues. Iirc, she is a single parent and has also adopted the brother (possibly twin?) of this boy and she does NOT treat the brother this way. She also got right in his face and screamed at him and talked often about how she did not have a connection with him and did not like him. It was heartbreaking. I do not believe she should be the parent of this child, but think the damage might already be done. Where do they go from here?

It makes me very sad to think of what type adults these children will become. I do think what she was doing was abuse. This was a young child, not a teenager gone wild. I have five children and am more of a "the punishment should fit the crime" type parent. One example given on Dr. Phil was that he threw something at school, so she hot sauced him. A more fitting punishment might have been to have him spend a specified amount of time throwing something...I don't know, just something to help him connect that what he was doing was wrong as opposed to her screaming and punishing him hours later.

Children truly do learn what they live. What does that behavior teach a child?

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I saw that last night and I have to say that I held my breath while watching it. It really did bother me to no end. I felt as though she was bullying that child. She was doing nothing but putting fear into him, and that is not going to work in the long run. I would have to think that a child who respects his/her parents would behave better than someone who fears their parents. I can't imagine being afraid of my parents.

As for the hot sauce, making him "drink" it is horrible. Years ago when my first child was about 2, she would bite. I was told to put a drop of hot sauce on her tongue and she would stop. I tried it, she liked it, so it didn't work for us, but forcing a child to "drink" hot sauce is insane.

The cold shower may not seem mean to some, but this family lives in Alaska!! It's freezing up there already, then to force someone into a cold shower is just cruel, IMO. I hate to take cold showers myself, I would never force my child to.

The sad thing here is, if she thinks that this is acceptable discipline, I wonder what she would do, or does, that's not? Chances are she has done something worse, if she was not embarrassed to share this.

Those poor children.

 

[Wall-E1]

First of all, as an adoptive parent, she should know that those types of "discipline"(abuse, in my opinion) are not acceptable. Adoptive kids, based on their histories cannot be disciplined the same as children in biological families - not that biological families would resort to this type of behavior. Forced ingestion of hot sauce to a child that possibly already has a history of neglect and abuse is terrible. The same with icy cold showers. This "mother" is ignorant and not fit to parent. In the video, she appears to have lost all control.

 

[FireDancer]

Why no opinion? Did you watch the video?

I assume when you chose to take cold shower after your run, that A) you were hot and sweaty and the shower was a relief and B) that as an able bodied adult, you chose to take that shower.

I haven't watched the video which is why I don't have an opinion on the shower. While an unwanted cold shower may be unpleasant I'm not sure it is causing any medical damage since people take them all the time (especially in areas without running hot water which is much of the globe) without actual harm. It isn't something I'd force a kid to do but just because it is unpleasant doesn't make it abuse IMO until it causes actual physical harm beyond the short term discomfort.

ETA: This is more about the general practice of forcing a cold shower as opposed to this particular case.

 

[wvjules]

People, really. My kids love spicy food, but that isn't the same as forcing a child to drink hot sauce. To even question that is just beyond belief to me.

Also to take a cold shower, ok maybe nice after a long run, but maybe just maybe she lived in an area that has cold weather, and just maybe it was really cold out side and she forced the child to take a cold shower, sound pleasant, I don't think so. People like this make me sick. I am here with my 9 year old home sick, and I look at him and think how can anyone be so evil to make a child do this. They should be dipped on honey and them have fire ants put al over them. Yeah, I like that idea.

OMG I can't believe the responses on here. How can anyone not know where they stand on this. That is disturbing.

Well I didn't know where I stood on the issue because I didn't know how she did the hot sauce or the cold shower. After hearing that she poured the bottle in his mouth and how bad the cold shower was now I know where I stand.

A dab of hot suace on the tongue is one thing, what she did is another. Now that I have more information I believe it is abuse.

 

[MistressMerryweather]

I haven't watched the video which is why I don't have an opinion on the shower. While an unwanted cold shower may be unpleasant I'm not sure it is causing any medical damage since people take them all the time (especially in areas without running hot water which is much of the globe) without actual harm. It isn't something I'd force a kid to do but just because it is unpleasant doesn't make it abuse IMO until it causes actual physical harm beyond the short term discomfort.

Are you kidding? An adult "choosing" to take a cold shower is completely different. This is a 7yo boy forced to stand in ice cold water. It's emotional abuse which is far more damaging than medical damage.

 

[Jennasis]

I haven't watched the video which is why I don't have an opinion on the shower. While an unwanted cold shower may be unpleasant I'm not sure it is causing any medical damage since people take them all the time (especially in areas without running hot water which is much of the globe) without actual harm. It isn't something I'd force a kid to do but just because it is unpleasant doesn't make it abuse IMO until it causes actual physical harm beyond the short term discomfort.

ETA: This is more about the general practice of forcing a cold shower as opposed to this particular case.

Doesn't the emotional damage count??