MOOvers, Huggers, and Pixie Dusters!

[Kay7979]

Today marks one week since we got our new kitty, Crystal, to be a companion for Tornado, (especially when we're away from home.) I was concerned how this would go, having gone through the old cat/new cat get acquainted period before. We made it through the HISS GRRRrrrrrrrr stage in record time. They are now friends and sleep on our bed together. I woke up with Crystal sleeping on my chest this morning, her face inches from mine! Fortunately Tornado sleeps at the foot because he weighs 14 pounds and she only weighs 3.

So that's the good news. Now for the bad news. Lowell's Ex dropped the bombshell on us when we saw her on Memorial Day that daughter #1 (age 20) is five months pregnant. Lowell had read his daughter the riot act when she moved from home and went to live with some boy and the boy's dad. She refused to come back home, and now this. The Ex says DD is cheerful about the situation and they were going that day to pick out baby clothes and things. DD calls the baby "her little bundle of kisses." This may sound cute, but I have the feeling DD thinks of the baby like a cat (she wanted to get a cat and name him Mr. Kisses) or like a doll. It's a novelty now and probably exciting, but what about a year or two from now?

I don't believe the couple has any plans to get married which may be just as well since I think this fellow is the only boy DD has dated more than a handful of times. The EX told Lowell he shouldn't say anything like "you should have had more sense" if he doesn't want to alienate DD. While I believe in making the best of this and being supportive, we don't approve of living together and we aren't happy about her being an unwed mother. I think it's wrong on the Ex's part to expect Lowell to completely refrain from telling her she messed up. We went through the same disciplinary blackmail when DD moved in with the boy. "Don't give her a hard time, because it won't do any good and you'll only drive her away." Now look where that approach got us.

Lowell "doesn't want to think about it right now," but we can't stick our heads in the sand. We're very sad, because as I said to the Ex, "DD has really complicated her life." The Ex got defensive after I said that and reminded me that she herself had been an unwed mother. Right. Exactly. And her life hasn't gone very well. I don't think she married the father of her first child, and four kids, three men, and two divorces later, I would not wish her life on DD. She says, "What if DD got married, had a baby, and lost her husband, the result would be the same." Yes, but when life deals you a hard blow, you are forced to deal with it. That's hardly the same as bringing this on yourself to begin with.

Opinions and advice are welcome. I'm going to post this elsewhere on the community board because I am sure plenty of people have been through this before and can offer some sound advice.

 

[lalijack]

1. BigL...I went to the party to be extremely rude and not pay attention to the guest of honor. Imagine that. The people who are going on my graguwashin trip with me were all going to be at the party. We all needed to talk about various logisitcs of the trip and it was the only place/time we knew we would all be together since schedules are so crazy. Don't worry, we were subtle....I always am.

2. I apparently have a knack for making things as complicated as possible, or so I've been told. In keeping with that theme I will be having a complicated summer.

1. Yes, I'm sure you were as subtle as can be. Riiiiiight.

2. Who toldya that?

Twink...I thought of something else. I just found out my cousin is going to math camp. I laughed uproariously when she told me. She said it's nothing to laugh about.

Uproariously, eh? Well, that's a big word like...uh, gymnasium. Good for you, Peej!



Hey MOOvers! Today is my Friday, and a beautiful day weather-wise, so I am in a great mood! I have about an hour before I leave this popsicle stand in the dust and head for home! w00t!

Have a great Thursday afternoon, y'all!


ETA: Yikes, Kay! That's a hard situation. I have no advice, but I'll keep Lowell's DD in my thoughts and pray for her to make better choices going forward. Good luck!

 

[UtahMama]

Today marks one week since we got our new kitty, Crystal, to be a companion for Tornado, (especially when we're away from home.) I was concerned how this would go, having gone through the old cat/new cat get acquainted period before. We made it through the HISS GRRRrrrrrrrr stage in record time. They are now friends and sleep on our bed together. I woke up with Crystal sleeping on my chest this morning, her face inches from mine! Fortunately Tornado sleeps at the foot because he weighs 14 pounds and she only weighs 3.

So that's the good news. Now for the bad news. Lowell's Ex dropped the bombshell on us when we saw her on Memorial Day that daughter #1 (age 20) is five months pregnant. Lowell had read his daughter the riot act when she moved from home and went to live with some boy and the boy's dad. She refused to come back home, and now this. The Ex says DD is cheerful about the situation and they were going that day to pick out baby clothes and things. DD calls the baby "her little bundle of kisses." This may sound cute, but I have the feeling DD thinks of the baby like a cat (she wanted to get a cat and name him Mr. Kisses) or like a doll. It's a novelty now and probably exciting, but what about a year or two from now?

I don't believe the couple has any plans to get married which may be just as well since I think this fellow is the only boy DD has dated more than a handful of times. The EX told Lowell he shouldn't say anything like "you should have had more sense" if he doesn't want to alienate DD. While I believe in making the best of this and being supportive, we don't approve of living together and we aren't happy about her being an unwed mother. I think it's wrong on the Ex's part to expect Lowell to completely refrain from telling her she messed up. We went through the same disciplinary blackmail when DD moved in with the boy. "Don't give her a hard time, because it won't do any good and you'll only drive her away." Now look where that approach got us.

Lowell "doesn't want to think about it right now," but we can't stick our heads in the sand. We're very sad, because as I said to the Ex, "DD has really complicated her life." The Ex got defensive after I said that and reminded me that she herself had been an unwed mother. Right. Exactly. And her life hasn't gone very well. I don't think she married the father of her first child, and four kids, three men, and two divorces later, I would not wish her life on DD. She says, "What if DD got married, had a baby, and lost her husband, the result would be the same." Yes, but when life deals you a hard blow, you are forced to deal with it. That's hardly the same as bringing this on yourself to begin with.

Opinions and advice are welcome. I'm going to post this elsewhere on the community board because I am sure plenty of people have been through this before and can offer some sound advice.

OH, Kay!

I'm torn in many ways for this situation you've had thrust upon you.

Is adoption an option for her? So many wonderful, loving couples to provide a home for the child. I'm amazed at the young women having babies and am sad for all involved. I've also had first hand "experience" in this and know that marriage is not necessarily the right answer.

Does she have a pastor or other clergy member she can get counsel from?

If not, be supportive!
WE're here for YOU to lean on, of course.

 

[Kay7979]

Hi UMA

I think she has no intention of giving up the baby. She isn't a church goer, unfortunately, not that we didn't all try, so it's not likely she'll go for counselling.

I wouldn't be as concerned if she had moved in with this guy because she loved him. I have no idea what feelings she has for him. When she moved in, we didn't know she had been especially dating anyone, much less him. I remember asking her a few months before about having a boyfriend, and she didn't make it sound like there was anyone special in her life. When she moved in, she gave everyone the impression it was mostly to get out of the house and be more on her own. I would figure if the relationship with this guy was so romantic, they would get a place of their own. Who'd want to have a wild and passionate love relationship with the dad in the house? .

So I really don't know what kind of a life she or the baby have in store. It certainly seems like she has made a mess of her life but it may turn out otherwise. We can only hope and pray. The other thing that bothers me is she has never had many friends, and no real boyfriends to speak of, so she probably can't judge if she is ready for a committed relationship with this fellow. And ready or not, there will have to be some sort of a relationship because he is now the father of her child.

The thread I started on the community board to get some feedback and guidance, mostly from other parents who have been through this, has been populated principally by hostile young women who have been in DD's shoes and are still bitter over the reaction they got from their families. They've been painting Lowell and I are some kind of uncaring monsters, just because we aren't delighted over this pregnancy and are worried that DD has created great hardships for herself and her baby. Grant you, Lowell's first impression was to impress upon her that she should have been more responsible so that this wouldn't have happened, because there is another little life at stake now, aside from her own. But, the consensus appears to be that DD already is aware of that (or should be) and that any negative comments at this point will do no good, only harm, in any case. After reading all the commentary I am inclined to agree. There's no point lecturing, no matter how kindly we do so. If she is so immature that she doesn't see the potential hardships of having a baby in her current circumstances, no amount of words from us is likely to get through to her. If you're bored and in the mood to read the bloodbath, you can go read the thread. It's up to ten pages at last count!

 

[DonaldTDuck]

Hey Moovers,
Don't feel too bad for me, I have my bills paid for most of June and an extra $1000 in the bank and have caught up on my sleep quite a bit. Life is goog and I may have a new job that pays a lot better, and if not, it's all right.
Bloodhound, I refuse to allow your little girl to be 24. Of course last time I saw her she was 13 going on 21. Hey, does 24 make her older than Peej.
Kay- When my dad(a prison preacher turned street minister) found out his oldest granddaughter was pregnant and unwed, he said,"Well, you can't put the egg back in the chicken." Deal with it and show lots of love. She is an adult, and will have to deal with it as such. She's gonna need lots of help. And love.
Peej-welcome to the neighborhood. That makes 4 and almost 5 Moovers from Kaintuck. Just gotta pull BBN about a foot and a half South. But I'm closer geographically to CEL than anyone else.

 

[RobInBigKC]

Howdy Moovers! Didja all miss me during my week away?

Lots of posts to catch up on...

So, you and Wenchy are suggesting I pimp myself out for the Mouse? Nice.

Pimp is such a nasty word. I was thinking more along the lines of flirtation with your DH.

My whole family just left to go hunt down our pressure washer over at Grumpy Grandpa's house, but I have a date with Miss Clairol and am in need of a bubble/Buble (Boo-blay) bath. With appropriate orange-line (Melinda!) anti aging facial action. THAT's what I do with an hour to myself, people.

You have a date with a Miss? Won't your wife get mad?

Rob....You're right about needing alone time. My next alone time is scheduled for May 2015.

A phrase that should be said here on the DIS more often!

Thank YOU.
This DH part nearly slipped through my skimmings.
AND, "NO".

Actually, one DH got quite a bit of respect on this thread back around Mother's Day. Just sayin'.

we're in the parking lot next to the coffee shop.
cuz you have to actually BUY coffee to use their internet indoors.
He IS the cheapest man on the planet, after all.

I do the same thing at the Panera Bread near me (though I'm not sure you HAVE to buy something to go indoors) and at the Drury Inn near the ball diamonds my kids play most of their tournament baseball games at. I also have found out that I can access the Panera Bread wireless from the Jiffy Lube waiting room when I'm getting my oil changed.

Hi, Nabbie, Lex, Lynette, Cel, pumba, Mony, Twink, Sandy, Rob, WT, DTD, Lil G, Lil Blue, Kay, Bloodhound, Steph, and Celery'sMama, et al!!!

Hi Moo!

Everybody else (that means YOU!) .....

Melinda! Hugs to you also Dearie!

Marita -- Wish we all could win the lottery and life happily ever after. You really need to retire woman.

Doing so would help with some issues in my life.

When I came home my sister was laughing at me for going to the senior dinner theatre and I started explaining to her that the show took place on the last surviving showboat in this country and how neat that is. yep, right there on the Ohio River, the Showboat Majestic. And it was a good show, I tell you!!! She just looked at me and said "Lord help us all." Whaaaat????

Sounds like a lovely evening PJ. How sweet of you to go with your grandfather.

Newsflash:

Just talked to my mom, and everything is OK. WHEW! She doesn't remember hearing the phone ring yesterday. How can you not hear the phone ring 30 times on 2 different occasions? Oh well, at least she is OK.

That's great news Marita!

I have When Harry met Sally" for about the 12th gazillionth time. I love that movie! But I might fall asleep anyway........

I love that movie too! My favorite line in it is when Harry says, "I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

For activities, we did horseshoes, darts and pool (we have a table in the poolhouse), plus the kids played bocce, basketball and baseball. My 2 kids were pretty ticked that the pool wasn't ready to swim in, but it would've been too dang cold anyway.

Hey! I played horseshoes and bocce over Memorial Day weekend also.

3 more weeks in the low totem pole group, then he moves to upper classmen. Hope he makes it!

I'm sure he will Marita!

Rob. I like driving by the stadium in KC. I wish you would post more pics of it.

I'd like to post more pics of it. I'd like to get to another game out there (even if they have lost 10 in a row now -- we're looking like the Tigers ). Although it definitely looks like a stadium under renovation this year since that's what it is. I believe the crown has arrived to go atop our new videoboard but I don't think it's go to be put up for awhile.

RobInBigKC-I'm sure the wife enjoyed the lovely homemade cards from the boys on Mothers day. Remember, every day should be Mothers day.

Even Father's Day and my birthday?

Since Peej is no longer a college chick, do we just call her a hotT chick?

I asked this same question Cel. She told somebody named McCreepster that the answer is no, she is still a hotT college chick. Don't ask me to explain how that is.

I stopped on my way home and signed Sukie up for beginner obedience classes and watched people in the current group working with their dogs. About half were German Shepherds. It was cool to see them!

I've always been tempted to get a German Shepherd pup. I think they are beautiful dogs, even prettier than my Golden. For some reason, I'm not sure about having that breed around the kids even though our last dog before our current Golden was a G.S./Akita mix and she was the best dog ever around children -- so gentle, gentler than our Golden is.

What do I find? A cup of what was once a glass of milk left on a high shelf for who knows how long and now looks like one big cheese curd.

Sounds like my DS12's bedroom.

Not sure what-dup with this visit that causes the blocking off of our fine Downtown streets and temporary shutting down of the airport

Fundraising! It is an election year. http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=3405824

Hi to the rest of you.....I ran out of time. Off to the Science centre this morning with the grade two's wish me luck. I hope they let me play with the stuff there too!!!

Hi Nab!

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT:: A job decision has been made. Cel, I'm sorry to report I won't be stalking you. I have officially taken the job at the public Montessori school in Louisville, KY!! After much thinking, praying, obsessing, crying, obsessing some more and so on, I went down last Friday to sign the contract. I think it was the right choice but moving all by myself to a new city is still a really really scary thought. A good friend of mine who went through the Montessori program with me at Xavier took the other teaching position at the same school. So, we'll have each other to lean on. Also, there are 2 teachers there who are recent Xavier grads and they've both assured me they'll be there to help. I think there's even people I can stalk in the area, but I'm really not sure. I still feel really nervous and scared, but excited at the same time!

Congratulations PJ! How exciting to be starting a new phase in your life!

-- Rob

 

[UtahMama]

Hi UMA

I think she has no intention of giving up the baby. She isn't a church goer, unfortunately, not that we didn't all try, so it's not likely she'll go for counselling.

I wouldn't be as concerned if she had moved in with this guy because she loved him. I have no idea what feelings she has for him. When she moved in, we didn't know she had been especially dating anyone, much less him. I remember asking her a few months before about having a boyfriend, and she didn't make it sound like there was anyone special in her life. When she moved in, she gave everyone the impression it was mostly to get out of the house and be more on her own. I would figure if the relationship with this guy was so romantic, they would get a place of their own. Who'd want to have a wild and passionate love relationship with the dad in the house? .

So I really don't know what kind of a life she or the baby have in store. It certainly seems like she has made a mess of her life but it may turn out otherwise. We can only hope and pray. The other thing that bothers me is she has never had many friends, and no real boyfriends to speak of, so she probably can't judge if she is ready for a committed relationship with this fellow. And ready or not, there will have to be some sort of a relationship because he is now the father of her child.

The thread I started on the community board to get some feedback and guidance, mostly from other parents who have been through this, has been populated principally by hostile young women who have been in DD's shoes and are still bitter over the reaction they got from their families. They've been painting Lowell and I are some kind of uncaring monsters, just because we aren't delighted over this pregnancy and are worried that DD has created great hardships for herself and her baby. Grant you, Lowell's first impression was to impress upon her that she should have been more responsible so that this wouldn't have happened, because there is another little life at stake now, aside from her own. But, the consensus appears to be that DD already is aware of that (or should be) and that any negative comments at this point will do no good, only harm, in any case. After reading all the commentary I am inclined to agree. There's no point lecturing, no matter how kindly we do so. If she is so immature that she doesn't see the potential hardships of having a baby in her current circumstances, no amount of words from us is likely to get through to her. If you're bored and in the mood to read the bloodbath, you can go read the thread. It's up to ten pages at last count!

UGH! Kay, I was afraid of the blood bath if you posted on the Community Board. I haven't looked yet, but I'm sure there's "passionate" responses from people who've "been there" or think they know every thing. After all, I was a perfect parent before I had kids.

Hey Moovers,
Don't feel too bad for me, I have my bills paid for most of June and an extra $1000 in the bank and have caught up on my sleep quite a bit. Life is goog and I may have a new job that pays a lot better, and if not, it's all right.
Bloodhound, I refuse to allow your little girl to be 24. Of course last time I saw her she was 13 going on 21. Hey, does 24 make her older than Peej.

Peej-welcome to the neighborhood. That makes 4 and almost 5 Moovers from Kaintuck. Just gotta pull BBN about a foot and a half South. But I'm closer geographically to CEL than anyone else.

Are you counting me too?


People! The realtor is amazed at how many "hits" the virtual tour has had! She very hopeful

Rob- Course everyone missed you.
I have a date with Miss Clairol about every 4 weeks, thanks.
And YOU were just showing OFF for Mother's Day. Making all the other DH's look bad (just sayin'). I just wanted a NAP and got a watch and a buncha roses.

Scrabblers- Your Turn, Princess!

 

[monymony3471]

Hi Rob. Welcome back.

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Howdy Moovers! Didja all miss me during my week away?

Of course we did!

That's great news Marita!

Yes, thanks!

I love that movie too! My favorite line in it is when Harry says, "I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

AWW you quoted it exactly. Love that you are in touch with your feminin side!

 

[RobInBigKC]

AWW you quoted it exactly. Love that you are in touch with your feminin side!

Yes, well, I may or may not have lifted it straight from IMDB.COM .

-- Rob

 

[Backstage_Gal]

PJ, congrates making a decision. Now you have a goal in sight. Did you find a place to live yet? And you will have 1/2 ton of big guys to help and protect you if you need it You will be just fine. I am not very familiar with that area, so I am not sure how far Lexi and the sunnybrook farm are from there. And thanks for the shoutout!

Kay, about the news. I guess there is really nothing that can be done now, but just make the best of the situation.

Sid dang about the unemployment situation, that sucks, hope it works out soon.

Nab, hope you got to play at the Museum.

BigL, yay to your Friday! Enjoy the weekend.

I finished forecast today, thank goodness. Base for next year's budget. But we got permission to go over budget by $100,000, which helps a bit. So we shall see how it goes.

DS sent some more pictures tonight, I will post a couple a bit later, have to eat dinner first.

Everyone,

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Yes, well, I may or may not have lifted it straight from IMDB.COM .

-- Rob

Well, you may or may not be protecting your reputation with the other guys on this thread Or maybe not!

 

[NAB]

The field trip went well. I only had Hannah in my group.....what more could I ask for. They had a lot of volunteers so most only had two in the group. I helped out with one of those groups and we pretty well stuck with them. That mom had one boy who was a handful. The mom was in front and I was behind in the group of kids. The boy decided to walk up the esculator backwards with his hands on the stair part..... The mother turned around when she heard me talking to him and she said what did he do.. then said is that all.

Then we had baseball, we got creamed tonight 2-7 , but we did find out Nicholas is really good at back catch. They should have been him there early.

P.J.-- get packing....Congrats on getting the job!! At least you won't be alone.

Kay-- sorry to here about your dd. I did read some of the thread. I would feel the same as you two but I know you be there for her too.

 

[UtahMama]

"Maybe"= Yes (unless talking to kids)


"May or May Not Have" = Did

 

[RobInBigKC]

"Maybe"= Yes (unless talking to kids)

Or unless you're my wife responding to my question about the chance for, uh, hmm, never mind...

-- Rob

 

[javamom]

I'm doing the single digit dance.....

How's everyone?

 

[babynurse1]

Hi everbody!

TwinkieTwinSistahWife: LOVE that movie!!!

DTD: If I move to Kentucky then I cant live in the same state as this fine young man. I think I'll post it on every thread I frequent. You are welcome.

Bloodhound: Did I read right or wrong? Are you in LooUhVull? Thanks for clarifying. That's my middle name.

Nab: You survived the field trip.. YAY!


PJ: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE say you are joking about moving to LooUhVull. (did i just post that out loud? sorry)

I meant how nice for you. Perhaps you will meet some lovely people there?

Wendy: Lol about all your virtual hits. hee hee

WheatThins: Heeeeeey yourself.

I know there are more people that need shouting out to. My brain is fried. I am working crazy hours and taking care of crazy (literally. certifiable.) patients. I am hoping CPS doesnt allow some of these babies to go home with these moms. Although then they end up in the foster care system. My job can be so conflicting sometimes. What I want to do is just bring them all here to crazynurse ranch and give them all the lovin' they deserve *BIG SIGH*

anyway, hope y'all are having a great evening. I'm trying to behave. kinda. sorta. well, as much as a bbn can behave and still have fun.

 

[RobInBigKC]

Hi everbody!

I know there are more people that need shouting out to. My brain is fried. I am working crazy hours and taking care of crazy (literally. certifiable.) patients. I am hoping CPS doesnt allow some of these babies to go home with these moms. Although then they end up in the foster care system. My job can be so conflicting sometimes. What I want to do is just bring them all here to crazynurse ranch and give them all the lovin' they deserve *BIG SIGH*

Hi E!

Awwww, E. You're so kindhearted and sweet.

-- Rob

 

[lalijack]

Hi everbody!

Hey...you look familiar. Hmmmmm...there used to be a BBN who posted with some frequency on this thread. But I think she ran away and joined the circus or sumpn.

 

[Backstage_Gal]