Monetary wedding gift?

[KBW]

I was going to say at least $300...when we got married, most of my aunts and uncles gave $200-$300, and that was 15 years ago. My side of the family pretty much all came from out of town and stayed 2 nights in the hotel too. BUT, I am originally from the NYC area, so I realize that what is "normal " in my family may seem completely ridiculous in other parts of the country!

 

[plummer925]

I think it depends on how close you are to her!

I have only 1 brother and gave him $1000 when he got married - that was a HUGE gift (his biggest gift, in fact). His aunts/uncles that came gave him $25-50.

I think if you are really close than $100 or $200 would be appropriate.

I got married years ago, but my biggest gift was from a friend of the family (close family friend) who gave us $100 - most other gifts were $10-25.

I just do not think it's necessary - or even appropriate - to give large gifts (the only reason I gave my brother so much is because we had just lost our dad a few months before and I wanted to make sure my brother...who is 13 years younger than I am...would have a nice honeymoon since daddy would have had paid for it).

 

[Snoozan]

I gave my neice a $250 wedding gift last year - granted, we've always been very close and we did not have to travel overnite for the wedding. My nephew who got married in NC, which meant we had to pay for air fare, hotel and some meals, did get a bit less - I think $150.

We are in New England and I do try to cover the cost of our meals!

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

$500.
I know when I got married 15 years ago - most aunts/uncles gave us $1,000, but it sounds like you cannot afford that.

 

[FINFAN]

we are in Chicago too, and I just mailed a check to my neice in CA who is getting married. We sent $150...but we are not attending so do not have any travel expenses. Normally I would send 2-250...but just can't afford that anymore.

 

[mjkacmom]

We live in the Madison, WI area, and I would say $100 is a very nice gift.

I have never even met someone that has received or given a $500 wedding gift.

Well, I don't live in WI (live in NYC area), and all of my aunts/uncles gave me $500 (grandma gave $1000). This was over 15 years ago. Sure, give what you can afford, but if you are asking what is the norm in an area of the country, I'd ask for some feedback from folks in that area.

 

[mjkacmom]

Same here....I swear, if I ever get remarried, I'm finding an East - coast girl and I'll just watch the $$'s roll in.

Us poor folks in the mid-west would have a heart attack if we had any expectation to give (or even received probably) $500 - $1000 as a wedding gift to a neice/nephew.

You do realize that if you marry an East coast girl, the wedding itself will cost a lot more than in the midwest! A lot more....

 

[navywifetill2002]

I got married 15 years ago and got $10-$20 from most people with just a couple giving us $40-$50. My brother got married 5 years ago and got $20 from most people but a few more gifts in the $40-$50 range and even $100 from 2 people. Both weddings were in Michigan.

Give what you're comfortable with! I know I had 3 out of town guests at my wedding and it was so wonderful to have them there. I didn't even care if they didn't bring anything, it was an honnor to have them there for my special day.

Not sure where your budget is but the $500-$1000 range would be 1-2 weeks of DH's salary, no way we could spare that much (taking us a whole year to save for our WDW vacation at $1900).

 

[alice99]

You should give what you can comfortably afford to give. I don't think that the "at least cover the cost of your plates" rule counts for out of town guests.

If it was my niece, I would be trying very hard to find $500 in my budget to give her as a gift and hopefully it would be closer to $1000.

I completely agree with these numbers, for 4 people attending a wedding I would give a minimum of $350.00...... but realistically I would give $500.00 for 4 people attending a wedding.

When we received $100 from my wife's "well off" aunt, we were shocked, LOL. We were like, "Wow! $100!"

Around me that I know of, most gifts are going to be in the $20-30 range or $30-40 range for individuals closer to you. Not many people would give a monetary gift.

This is surprising to me, as we were married in 1994 , and attended many weddings during this time of our live (of course, our friends were getting married around the same time) Our gifts , given and received, were between 250-300 , when 2 people attended the wedding..

I was going to say at least $300...when we got married, most of my aunts and uncles gave $200-$300, and that was 15 years ago. My side of the family pretty much all came from out of town and stayed 2 nights in the hotel too. BUT, I am originally from the NYC area, so I realize that what is "normal " in my family may seem completely ridiculous in other parts of the country!

To me THIS is normal.... I cannot imagine giving anything less than 250.00, which is the LOWEST gift I would even consider giving..... and that's if only my husband and I were going.


So, my answer is, give $350.00.

 

[madelyn]

We are from Texas and were married at Disney World over 15 years ago. But my husband's side of the family from Chicago came to our wedding (flew in, paid for hotel and park tickets). I believe the aunts and uncles gave jewelry and maybe a monetary gift. The cousins that were a few years younger than us each gave $100. They all had professional jobs but were not married yet.

 

[ghosty1000]

I don't believe in "give enough to cover your plate cost". Anyone who has a wedding expecting to get all of the cost of the wedding back from money they will receive in gifts probably doesn't deserve it anyway. ANY amount you give to someone for their wedding should be an acceptable amount. It is just that, a GIFT. I have been to many weddings and have given anywhere from $40 to $100. It all depends on what we could afford at the time.

 

[Sugar Jones]

Give what you can afford and what you are comfortable giving. I would say $100.00 if you can afford that, but if that's too steep then $50.00 is fine.

I didn't expect a gift from anybody who was invited to my wedding. I wanted them there to celebrate with us, not for the gift.

 

[antmaril]

I would say between $300 and $500. When I was married 38 years ago, my aunts and uncles gave us $100. We were very appreciative. When my nephew got married in 2001, we gave him $500. I always remember how generous my aunts and uncles were to us and I try to do the same. My nephew had a destination wedding, so we spent another $1000 on the trip. Had big fun!

Obviously, you should give what you can afford.

I am now widowed, so when I am invited to a wedding, I usually give $100. Of course, if it is a niece or nephew, I will give more.

 

[danceintherain]

Half of my aunts and uncles didn't even come to my wedding. The gifts I did get from them were around $50. I still have an IOU from one aunt, because she keeps forgetting that she owes me a wedding gift (I've been married for 3 years!).

Anyways, give what you can afford. Cash is always nice.

 

[nilseks]

Thanks so much for all the input. I had an amount in my head before posting, and I guess after reading the responses, I will stick with my original thought of $300. That seems to be kind of in the middle of everyone's responses.

She is a fantastic young lady and we would give her a million dollars if we could.

 

[KarenAylwood]

Thanks so much for all the input. I had an amount in my head before posting, and I guess after reading the responses, I will stick with my original thought of $300. That seems to be kind of in the middle of everyone's responses.

She is a fantastic young lady and we would give her a million dollars if we could.

I think that's a good choice. My uncle gave us $500 for our wedding less than a year ago. I know people say "give what you can afford" but based on our 120 guest wedding, yes there is a "norm"... majority of our friends gave us $100 - there were some that didn't give us anything (a few, all single guys) and another gave us $250 (we were shocked), then pretty much everyone else gave us a flat $100. As family I'd give more but like others said- if you can't afford it give what you can (we personally didn't judge the amount of a gift- usually just were surprised when it was big!). It also depends on the area you're from. I know my parents believe $200 is the going rate (they live in NY) but it's more like $100 down here.

Have so much fun!! I feel like I didn't fully appreciate weddings until we weren't going to 12 a summer.

 

[sorul82?]

I have enjoyed reading everyone's responses and learning what is the norm in other parts of the country. Around here, cash is given sometimes, but something from the registry is the traditional gift.

 

[ElenaRN]

Another NYer here. I realize that us East Coasters go a little overboard. Our usual customary gift is $300 if it's just me and Hubby.

It may be a little more or less depending on other factors. We may add a bit more if it is a really close friend or relative or take a litte out if we had to spend on hotel etc.

 

[mks18412]

I don't believe in "give enough to cover your plate cost". Anyone who has a wedding expecting to get all of the cost of the wedding back from money they will receive in gifts probably doesn't deserve it anyway. ANY amount you give to someone for their wedding should be an acceptable amount. It is just that, a GIFT. I have been to many weddings and have given anywhere from $40 to $100. It all depends on what we could afford at the time.

Took the words right out of my mouth..... Its crazy some people think the more expensive the wedding the bigger the gift needs to be.

 

[shoney]

Took the words right out of my mouth..... Its crazy some people think the more expensive the wedding the bigger the gift needs to be.

I don't know anyone who takes the "cover the cost of plate" thing as literal as some people on here seem to think.

If the average wedding cost at the caterer is $100 to $125 in this area, then the average wedding gift tends to be $200 to $300 a couple.

My parents just went to a wedding for a very good friend (co-worker) of my moms. They have been working closely for 10 years...He is my age and is like the son she never had. Her parents were paying and she went all out! $400 a plate just for the caterer...No my parents did not cover their plate...They gave $400, which is what she would have given if it were at an average place around here.

It's the same thing with kids b-day parties around here. Most places charge around $20 a kid. 99% of people give a $20 or $25 gift.

You wouldn't give less if they had it at Chuck E. Cheese vs. bedazzling T-shirts at the local girls boutique.