Monetary wedding gift?

[The Wise One]

Half of my aunts and uncles didn't even come to my wedding. The gifts I did get from them were around $50. I still have an IOU from one aunt, because she keeps forgetting that she owes me a wedding gift (I've been married for 3 years!).

Anyways, give what you can afford. Cash is always nice.

Ditto this.

Give what you can afford as others have said. We only got one cash gift for our wedding and it was $100 from my husband's aunt.

 

[2girls4me]

I live on LI, so my view is quite different. We got gifts ranging from $150 to $600. We've given gifts as high as $500 to my sister. Normally we give $300.

I know this is not the norm, but I know Chicago is more like NYC.

But there is also the school of "give whatever you can afford". Which is complelty acceptable.

 

[bpesch]

My son just got married and they got everything from $20 up to $400 as gifts. It was all good and they were thrilled to get every cent. The amount of a gift should be based on what you can afford, not how extravagant the wedding is.

 

[jrmasm]

Another NYer here. I realize that us East Coasters go a little overboard. Our usual customary gift is $300 if it's just me and Hubby.

It may be a little more or less depending on other factors. We may add a bit more if it is a really close friend or relative or take a litte out if we had to spend on hotel etc.

I live on the East Coast. Covering your plate is not the custom in my area. I'd bet it isn't the custom for the majority of the East Coast.

OP, give what fits your budget and your are comfortable with.

 

[mjkacmom]

I don't know anyone who takes the "cover the cost of plate" thing as literal as some people on here seem to think.

If the average wedding cost at the caterer is $100 to $125 in this area, then the average wedding gift tends to be $200 to $300 a couple.

My parents just went to a wedding for a very good friend (co-worker) of my moms. They have been working closely for 10 years...He is my age and is like the son she never had. Her parents were paying and she went all out! $400 a plate just for the caterer...No my parents did not cover their plate...They gave $400, which is what she would have given if it were at an average place around here.

It's the same thing with kids b-day parties around here. Most places charge around $20 a kid. 99% of people give a $20 or $25 gift.

You wouldn't give less if they had it at Chuck E. Cheese vs. bedazzling T-shirts at the local girls boutique.

This makes sense. I bet people in other regions are covering their plates, and not know it! I'm guessing that, in some areas, weddings aren't $100+ a plate. So, if your typical gift as a couple is $50, and the average wedding where you live is $25 a plate, guess what - you just covered your plate!

Weddings here are more expensive, people tend to spend more on gifts, salaries here are higher, homes here cost more. $300 here can be equivalent to $75 north, south, or west of her. Maybe your $75 gift will go towards the couple's $150,000 new home, while my $300 gift will go towards the couple's $500,000 hoome.

 

[shoney]

This makes sense. I bet people in other regions are covering their plates, and not know it! I'm guessing that, in some areas, weddings aren't $100+ a plate. So, if your typical gift as a couple is $50, and the average wedding where you live is $25 a plate, guess what - you just covered your plate!

Weddings here are more expensive, people tend to spend more on gifts, salaries here are higher, homes here cost more. $300 here can be equivalent to $75 north, south, or west of her. Maybe your $75 gift will go towards the couple's $150,000 new home, while my $300 gift will go towards the couple's $500,000 hoome.

Good point!

I sometimes get the feeling when this comes up that some people may really think that NY Metro Area people get a wedding invitation, call the wedding hall to ask for a price..."how much is Mr. and Mrs. x paying...did they add a viennese hour? etc. etc." Then write a check for that much.

that just isn't how it works!

 

[BillSears]

I'm glad to see this thread. My Nephew is getting married in 2 weeks in an out of town wedding I am attending solo. I had been thinking about giving $250 but now I'm second guessing. I really have no idea?!?!?!

All of you guys with your whatever you can afford stuff. Well I can "afford" much more than $250 so does that mean I should go higher? Do I drop $1,000 into an envelope because I can afford that? Really the gift should also have some sort of upper limit too.

I feel cheap now just going with $250 but I also feel like I'd be odd doing $500 or more. Maybe I should ask my Daughter what amounts she got at her wedding last year.

 

[alice99]

I'm glad to see this thread. My Nephew is getting married in 2 weeks in an out of town wedding I am attending solo. I had been thinking about giving $250 but now I'm second guessing. I really have no idea?!?!?!

All of you guys with your whatever you can afford stuff. Well I can "afford" much more than $250 so does that mean I should go higher? Do I drop $1,000 into an envelope because I can afford that? Really the gift should also have some sort of upper limit too.

I feel cheap now just going with $250 but I also feel like I'd be odd doing $500 or more. Maybe I should ask my Daughter what amounts she got at her wedding last year.

Asking your daughter is a great idea.
250$ is a great gift, very generous. Going solo, $200 is a great gift, too.

 

[mjkacmom]

Asking your daughter is a great idea.
250$ is a great gift, very generous. Going solo, $200 is a great gift, too.

My mom wrote down what relatives gave for this reason (as did her mom).

 

[srferson]

My only advice is not to stress about it too much.

My wedding was small and it was out of town. Everyone had to travel. It was less than three years ago, but I can't off the top of my head remember who did or didn't give us gifts (other than our parents) and I certainly don't remember how much we received in gifts.

Don't get me wrong, the gifts were appreciated. But when I think back to our wedding now, what I remember is how happy we were that they were all there. (Cheesy as it sounds, it's true.)

 

[BillSears]

Asking your daughter is a great idea.
250$ is a great gift, very generous. Going solo, $200 is a great gift, too.

Thanks. I will ask my Daughter and I bet she doesn't remember. So I bet srferson is right the amount really isn't as important as we're making it out to be. The wedding itself is what's remembered.