Monetary wedding gift?

[nilseks]

Would like some input, please.

My niece is getting married this summer. It is going to be a pretty extravagant affair--she will be getting married at one of the most famous churches in the country, and the reception is at a VERY nice facility. DH and I will be traveling there by car with our 2 kids, staying 2 nights in a hotel.

If it makes a difference (and it probably does) we are from the Chicago area, so what would the 'going rate' be for a family of 4 attending a niece's wedding?

 

[Schmoodle]

I think the gift should be based on what your family can afford and not at all on how much the wedding cost. That is based on the bride's wishes and what HER family can afford. She will know you love her and wish her well and she'll appreciate your presence on her special day, no matter the amount of the gift.

It's very arbitrary, but I'll tell you that in my family, we generally give $100 when nieces/nephews are getting married. I live on the East coast.

P.S., I have a LOT of nieces and nephews. If I had fewer, I might give more.

 

[My5Mouseketeers]

You should give what you can comfortably afford to give. I don't think that the "at least cover the cost of your plates" rule counts for out of town guests.

If it was my niece, I would be trying very hard to find $500 in my budget to give her as a gift and hopefully it would be closer to $1000.

but give what you can afford. Your niece should be thankful that you made the trip to come to her wedding and not looking at the amount of money she gets.

 

[sksjasams]

We live in the Madison, WI area, and I would say $100 is a very nice gift.

I have never even met someone that has received or given a $500 wedding gift.

 

[erin327]

In my experience (in Indiana, Chicago, Denver) wedding gifts from aunts and uncles to nieces and nephews are between $75 and $100.

 

[NOLA_Tink]

Our aunts and uncles gave us $75-$100, with the exception of two. We were most appreciative, and I'm sure she will be also. Have fun at the wedding!

 

[angierae]

Midwestern girl here. Most of my aunts and uncles gave $100 at our wedding, the aunt and uncle I am closest to (they took me in when my first marriage ended and my daughter and I were homeless, etc) gave $300.

 

[Ginny Favers]

My rule of thumb for family members I'm close to is $100 per person attending. At least, this was before we had kids invited to the weddings. I'd have a very hard time fitting $400 into my budget, so I'd probably give $250.

 

[kneedeep]

I think it is so nice that you are willing to make the trip to your niece's wedding. I can tell you that when I got married, I truly appreciated the time and money spent by the many extended family members who traveled to our wedding, which was held at a very nice location. Their presence was part of their gift to us. I am sure they could have stayed home, sent us a larger gift and still not have spent nearly as much as they did to be there. But it was more special to have them celebrate with us.

 

[mrodgers]

We live in the Madison, WI area, and I would say $100 is a very nice gift.

I have never even met someone that has received or given a $500 wedding gift.

When we received $100 from my wife's "well off" aunt, we were shocked, LOL. We were like, "Wow! $100!"

Around me that I know of, most gifts are going to be in the $20-30 range or $30-40 range for individuals closer to you. Not many people would give a monetary gift.

 

[okeydokey]

I think $100 from the both of you would be fine. I'm sure the bride doesn't care, she wants you there to celebrate her day.

 

[tzolkin]

I would say $100 is a very nice gift.

I have never even met someone that has received or given a $500 wedding gift.

I was thinking the same thing.

We give $100-$200 (depending on our relationship) and I am fairly certain that $200 is the maximum anyone we know has every received at a wedding.

 

[Cindy B]

Wow, I was going to say at least $250/300.

A few of my nephews recently got married. One (that my DH was closest to) got significant cast I want to say about $300 if not $400. DH also told them about free dining in time for thier honeymoon, so he orchestrated some changes and I think he paid a fee or two there.

Nephew #2- he was coming from a limited household (house items that is) so we got them one of the registry gifts (an expensive knife set) that no one else did- we also gave them about $125 cash as well as the gift.

Nephew #3 getting married in about 6 weeks. They have no real expensive items left on registry- so we will probably do cash only for him/wife. The amount will be determined soon.

The two nephews probably got a net amount of about $325-350. The nephew #2 knife set was on a Bed Bath and Beyond registry so we used a 20 percent off coupon which was helpful- so we gave the cash as well.

I got married 20 years ago and $100 gifts were pretty common then.

 

[secretpantssam]

Give what you feel comfortable. I just got married last summer and a few friends couldn't afford much but they wrote very nice things in the cards, which to me was very important. $100 for a family seems fine to me, but make sure you share how happy you are to be spending the day with her in the card...again words and well wishes were very valuable to me at my wedding!

 

[elaine amj]

We gave our niece about $300 in a bridal shower gift). I recently found out that was a faux pas and we should have given them cash at the wedding as well as the bridal shower gift.

Didn't realise that - just wanted to get them something nice about the $300 range for their wedding and thought something concrete like the hall table they wanted (we asked and that's what she told us) would be nicer than cash. Probably would have been better etiquette-wise to give $100 in cash at the bridal shower and $200 in cash for the dinner.

My 2nd niece asked for money towards her honeymoon as her "registry". So we gave her $300 for that...and gave it at the bridal shower.

At my own wedding, we got gifts ranging from $40 to $200. Most gave in the region of $100. I think my SIL gave around $200. There were lots of our gifts from our registry - because we did not have a bridal shower, they brought the gifts to the wedding. At that time, I would have been flabbergasted if someone bought a gift AND gave money. I typically either give a gift OR money.

 

[ziggystardust]

I have never even met someone that has received or given a $500 wedding gift.

Around here, that's not an abnormal number.

I personally have never given that much for the actual wedding, but pretty close to it. Plus bridal shower gifts, bacherlorette party expenses, plus, plus plus... I think NYC is a bit different though. Cash is customary for a wedding gift, not an actual item. That being said, I only know a few people that would be upset at receiving an actual item for a wedding present instead of money. Most would just be grateful you took the time to think of them.

Regardless what you give, I'm sure your niece is just happy to have you there. Especially if its a long trek for you.

 

[sunlover13]

Chicagoan here..........

I'm going to a cousin's wedding tomorrow. Just DH and I are going, not the kids. It is in town, not staying overnight.

I'm going to give $150 for the gift.

He is a 3rd cousin who I do not even talk to.

$150 is the least amount I give at weddings.

If it was someone very close to me, I would probably give $200 or more.

I agree with giving what you can afford and feel comfortable with.

When my first cousin got married, it was a very fancy wedding. I'm sure the plates were probably closer to $100 each or more. Her father paid for our Vera Wang bridesmaid dresses, paid for our hair appts, etc. In other words, they didn't need any $.

I gave $300 and then I made her a frame which included her wedding invitation, some pictures of the couple with some flowers in the frame. She has it hanging in her house to this day.

Just an idea in case you wanted to give her something more personal besides money.

Have fun at the wedding!

 

[ICF]

We live in the Madison, WI area, and I would say $100 is a very nice gift.

I have never even met someone that has received or given a $500 wedding gift.

Same here....I swear, if I ever get remarried, I'm finding an East - coast girl and I'll just watch the $$'s roll in.

Us poor folks in the mid-west would have a heart attack if we had any expectation to give (or even received probably) $500 - $1000 as a wedding gift to a neice/nephew.

 

[Pesky]

I think give what you can afford and are comfortable doing so. Anywhere from $50-200 is reasonable, I would think. I remember receiving $100 from my grandparents who could barely afford it but dearly want to give it to me (I gave them the money at Christmas as part of their gifts) and $100 from DH's aunt and uncle who are quite well off. You just never know.

 

[Pakey]

My husband and I went to a wedding 3 weeks ago. It was the son of some dear friends, I would put the relationship in the category of an honorary nephew. I gave a $500 cash gift. It was an expensive wedding and I believe in the "cover your plate" concept. If the wedding had been more low-key, I would probably do $250-$300 for the two of us.

OP, I would give what you feel comfortable giving.