So, to say that my future mother-in-law has been supportive and excited about our decision to get married at Disney would be a complete lie. She was negative about it from the beginning but I didn't think ,besides some of the negative comments and gloom-and-doom attitude when it comes to discussing the wedding, that we would actually have to through major drama battles, but lucky me, I guess I was wrong.
So, I thought I'd vent and share my recent drama to help get it off my chest and to see if anyone can offer some friendly words of encouragement or support.
I've said from the time we decided to get married at Disney (2 years ago) that I wanted to have the rehearsal dinner at the Hoop Dee Doo Revue. It was one of the first decisions I made, it is one of the things I most excited about. Well, the future mother in law is NOT happy about this. (let me add that she's never been to Disney nor has she been to HDDR)
When we announced that we were going to get married at Disney she got upset and said that they wouldn't help us pay for anything (fine by me, I don't want the fact that you gave money to be held over my head for the rest of my life). This is also the woman who when DF wanted to go over guests list for their side started immediately crossing people off the list saying "no, no, no..." meaning that all those people would never come to the wedding. Ummm, how do you know if you haven't even asked them?
Anyway, then she changed her mind and said she would pay for our honeymoon and rehearsal dinner. Ummm, okay. Now, the DF has known that HDDR is where the rehearsal dinner is taking place and I was pretty adamant that he kept reminding her that the decision had been made and we weren't budging; I didn't want any surprises. (He says he did remind her but I don't think he came across as firm because I think his mother thinks he'll do whatever she says).
I never planned on her paying for the rehearsal dinner at HDDR because I know she doesn't want to have it there and then when you add on the price to eat there, well, it's not cheap. So, I've been prepared to foot that bill when the time came, and it's coming soon. We have to call to make the reservation on Oct. 4th.
Okay so now that I rambled and gave you a quick backstory, let me bring you up the drama that is starting to unfold as we speak.
So, for the last couple of weeks DF's mother has been asking me to give her information about the rehearsal, give her our rehearsal time, give her our wedding planner's contact # (hahaha, good luck getting hold of her, I can't even do that myself and it's been weeks since I asked her a couple of questions) so I tell her that reservations can't be made till 180 days out. But she still kept hounding me so a few days ago I sat down and typed up information that told all about HDDR, the guests in the wedding party, the prices for adults and children, and I put the total amount of what the cost would be.
So this is what I receive from my fmil this morning (let me remind you that she has known for a long time, that this is where we're having the rehearsal dinner)
"Hi,
There seems to be some confusion regarding the Rehearsal Dinner.
Dad and I will be handling this. All we need is the contact information for the Planner you have been working with.
As we have stated earlier, we do not expect to be presented with any further bills regarding the wedding. It is inappropriate. If plans have been made at for the Rehearsal, please cancel them.
We also need to know what time the Wedding Rehearsal is and approximately how long it is expected to last, so we can make reservations for the Rehearsal Dinner for the wedding party and Grandparents.
Thanks
Heidi"
So let me respond by saying that my parents and I are paying for the wedding. Nathan chips in a little here and there but he goes to school full time and doesn't work a lot of hours so he isn't able to contribute a lot. The only "bill" they received was the remaining balance of our cruise since we had paid a huge deposit towards it. Let me also say that Nathan AND I chose this cruise. Not me, by myself, and he talked about it with his parents before we paid that deposit and they agreed to pay it (that's not including the couple of days that we're staying at Disney). So, why am I getting this thrown back in my face? I'M paying for the rehearsal dinner so what's the problem? Why does this seem to be coming as some sort of surprise to her? Also, she doesn't agree that I should include my nieces and nephews,the flower girls and ring bearers (the children of my sister who is also my matron of honor) and my best friends kids (who is a bridesmaid), as well as their husbands to the rehearsal dinner. The only thing I'm going to say about that is I'm not having these people agree to be part of my wedding, fly from all the way across the country (literally, they're coming from Seattle and New Mexico) to leave their husbands and kids at a hotel while they're at dinner? UH uh, not happening. (AND, my nieces and nephews ARE PART OF THE WEDDING PARTY, you crazy woman! geesh!)
Anyway, I was so angry when I read that email and I didn't respond right away because the only thing I wanted to say was if you have a problem with the way we're doing things then don't come. But I knew that wouldn't be good so I waited till I cooled off and this is the email I sent back. (I guess I should of had your opinions on it first before I sent it but oh well, hindsight is 20/20, right?)
This was my response:
"I'm sorry, I don't know what the confusion is, the rehearsal is going to be at Disney's Fort Wilderness Lodge. That decision was made a long time ago, at the very beginning of the planning process. However, like I explained to you about timelines, the reservation for the rehearsal dinner has not been made nor can be made yet so I don't know what bill you're talking about.
I find it a bit presumptuous of you to tell me that I'm being inappropriate when I give you what you've been asking for. You have asked me a couple times for information about the rehearsal dinner so I sat down and put it all together for you and had Nathan give it to you since he sees you and I don't. On a side note, our Disney wedding planner, besides the actual wedding rehearsal (which has not been scheduled yet) takes no part in events outside of the wedding day.
This is supposed to be a happy and exciting time for Nathan and I, and all we want is for those close to us to be encouraging and supportive. The negative comments and the creation of guilt trips need to stop.
-Michelle"
Anyway, did I handle this okay? Was I "inappropriate"? Anyone else going through this?
On a brighter note, I forgot to mention in my last update that we had signed a contract with Kathryn Flocken to do our guest silhouettes and we get a copy of each of them that will be placed in a "guestbook" for the guest to sign.
I'm still trying to figure out a way to sneak my horse down to FL for the wedding. Tee hee!
I know what you say about wanting to sneak your horse and have your dogs involved. My animals are my babies (I have 5 dogs too) and I would love for them to be involved. 
Oh well, I'm not going to sell it for a profit 
