Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[Liisa]

Just jumping in real quick (sanity break from what is turning into a bad weekend) - but I'll tell you about that in a second. DH also won't go on DCL. He theory - we don't like being around alot of kids, so why would we go on a cruise line that is particulary attractive to families...? I see his point. He'd like to do a cruise at some point. But he's looking more at Celebrity Cruises or Norwegian Cruises.

All this Mexico talk has me REALLY looking forward to my May trip. It will be our first time at an all inclusive. And as an added bonus - it is Adults ONLY! We also booked our vacation with Apple - using a travel agent that has really been awesome. She specializes in Mexico / Carribbean and she has a chat board that she runs. So she has to be good or people would be sure to post in on the chat group!

Now for my weekend, Kayla the rescue arrived on Friday. She is totally adorable, bonded really well with me and I really, really like her. But she isn't at all getting along with my two. We've had a handful of minor squabbles, that we expected. But last night we had a major fight (that DH got into while trying to break it up and ended up with a wound on his arm). The dogs were all fine after, but we were really shaken up. Ever since that, we've kept them apart. DH slept in our room with our two, and I slept in the spare room with Kayla. This morning we took the three for a walk - no problems. Then DH left to run some errands making me promise not to do anything stupid while he was gone. C'mon, that's my middle name!!! So, Kayla was outside, my two were inside. Mine wanted to go out and Kayla wanted to come in, I figured I could manage that. Not so much. Kayla went for my Pari while I was opening the door and my leg blocked her (OUCH!). We tried, but it isn't working. We are driving her to New York this afternoon to stay at a foster home until they can get her back to Los Angeles. I feel so bad for her. But I can't be breaking up major fights every day. I wish it had worked for Kayla's sake... and the dogs may have eventually sorted it all out. But DH and I are a wreck right now. That is my long story. I think the rescue people are a little disappointed in us... they deal with tough dogs all the time so this is just life. But we really don't have the stomach for this. I feel terrible about it.

Ok... happy thoughts... back to Mexico...

 

[WDWguru]

DH also won't go on DCL. He theory - we don't like being around alot of kids, so why would we go on a cruise line that is particulary attractive to families...? I see his point. He'd like to do a cruise at some point. But he's looking more at Celebrity Cruises or Norwegian Cruises.

First, sorry to hear that poor Kayla didn't work out for you. At least you gave her a chance, and she'll be in good hands until she can find her forever home.

Regarding DCL... we've always taken Holland America which caters to an older crowd, but even so when you're going on a cruise in the summer (even to a pricy destination like Alaska) there is no guarantee of no annoying kids on the boat. We've had really good luck on HAL, so I'd recommend that if you can't talk him into DCL. You can also do the usual things like avoid school breaks and popular (cheap) destinations and shorter cruises.

That said, we took our two nephews and my mother in law on DCL and we were surprised how much we liked it! Unlike other cruise lines, they have DESIGNATED areas for kids, adults and families and they enforce it! Our nephews LOVED the kids clubs and the three of us were in the adult areas of the ship most of the time. It was great! The only time we had to deal with the kids on the ship were at dinner (you could request a table for two and/or eat a Palo every night, where you must be 18 to dine - we did that one night) and at Castaway Cay (where we could've put the kids in all-day programs and done the adult beach but didn't). I would take DCL in a second over a lower or mid-level cruise line that doesn't have designated segregated areas. Given the choice between HAL and DCL for just the two of us, I'd take HAL and avoid school breaks or the Caribbean itineraries as it's a more luxurious experience overall.

 

[maddhatir]

We are driving her to New York this afternoon to stay at a foster home until they can get her back to Los Angeles. ...

Oh No! You do not think they would have grown "to love each other" eventually?

I think the rescue people should really stress that people with no other dogs should adopt Kayla. This way- there will be no wait and see if they become friends. Maybe you should suggest that to them

I am sorry it did not work out. Poor puppy.

 

[Mozart]

We almost adopted an Italian Greyhound yesterday, but decided not to at the last minute yesterday because we were afraid of this exact thing happening. He's probably getting a little too territorial in his old age to accept a new dog. I felt really bad knowing that girl would not be going to a new home immediately, but we're just not sure it would be a good situation for her.

 

[Liisa]

Hi all,

Madd, I think that eventually they would have gotten over it. But it would have taken a long time and it seemed to be getting worse not better as the weekend progressed. Plus, we have some injuries from trying to break up the fights. I was heartbroken when we finally made the call that we couldn't do it. We just got back and I was a mess much of the way home.

Rescue definitely thought they would sort it out and that we were overreacting. But, to be fair to us, they weren't here and the fights were very intense - did I mention we have injuries to prove it? I also did tell rescue that I thought she would do great in a home by herself. They swear she hasn't had issues with any other dogs. I think the problem was that she was getting very comfortable here, liked it, and saw the other two as a bit of competition. In between the fights, we could tell she was happy. Playing around with a toy, wagging her tail, coming inside for pets.

I know we made the right choice for our family, but we feel so guilty that we couldn't work it out. Poor thing...

 

[Liisa]

We almost adopted an Italian Greyhound yesterday, but decided not to at the last minute yesterday because we were afraid of this exact thing happening. He's probably getting a little too territorial in his old age to accept a new dog. I felt really bad knowing that girl would not be going to a new home immediately, but we're just not sure it would be a good situation for her.

Sometimes the hard decisions, the ones that are sad to make are the right ones. You know your dog best, so you were probably right. But I sympathize with you.

And by the way, I like the new Johnny Depp pictures! Madd, I needed that as a pick me up.

 

[maddhatir]

And by the way, I like the new Johnny Depp pictures! Madd, I needed that as a pick me up.

YES! He DOES have that effect on us girls!

 

[arielchickenofthesea]

WOW! I was watching this thread a couple of years ago and had not been following it lately. My, how it has grown!

DH and I are married with no children by choice. I have always known I never wanted children. I am 54 now and do not regret for a moment my decision to not procreate. We married late in life, I was 46 at the time.
When I was in high school I used to listen to all my friends talk about how they wanted to marry and have children. I never felt the burning urge for either. I went to college, worked for many years and supported myself and my furry friends, (kittys) and still never felt the burning urge to marry or have kids. I lived with two different men, with whom I NEVER would have had children, even if I had wanted them.

It was not until I met my now DH, that I felt I had met someone that I truly felt I could live the rest of my life with. And we did not marry until after being together 5 years. We went to the DMV and paid ten bucks and got our license. That was the extent of our *wedding*. We did it primarily for the financial protection it offers. Love has nothing to do with a license! Without the legal part of the union, there is no protection for your assets and if something should happen to either of us, we did not want to have to fight the families. His family in particular can be very nasty about things.

We are independently wealthy and can go where ever we want when we want to. We never got the "When are you having kids?" question, because I was already in my 40's when we met, but we do get, "You are going to Disney again?" LOL! They just do not understand our love for all things Disney. We could go anywhere in the world we want to, but we still choose Disney for our vacations. We will go other places as well at some point, but when we want to go on vacation, we usually look at eachother and we do not have to say anything. We both know we want to go to Disney again.

We have our *children*, our 3 beautiful furbabies (kittys) and two feathered ones. They are our life. We had 4 cats and lost our beautiful 11 year old boy, Orion to cancer last year. DH ALWAYS called him our *son* from the moment we got him as a tiny little sickly boy. It devastated us to lose him. He was our child in every way. It has left a huge hole in our hearts.

We have a bumper sticker on our car that says, "Yes, I love my cat as much as you love your child" It is true. I have always been an animal person. My heart has so much love for our furry friends, that after a 20 year career in radio broadcasting, I went back to school at 47 yrs young to study Veterinary Science and got my degree as a Veterinary Technician. I have not worked in the field because of a disability I got while in my internship. I lifted a very large dog onto a treatment table and HEARD something make a funny sound in my back. OWIE!!!!!! Now 5 yrs later, I cannot lift things, nor can I walk for long distances. I messed up my back pretty bad and will need surgery.

My husband is disabled as well and neither of us work, so we have lots of free time to enjoy the world. We love going to the Parks, both WDW and DL and are happiest when we are there. We make about 3 trips a year to DL and at least one to WDW. We are planning to move to the Orlando area OR the Anaheim area to work PT at a Disney Park in some capacity.
Our lives would have been very different with kids and I am happy just the way we are! (well, when we move to Florida or So Cal to work for Disney, I will have my dream come true!
I am so happy to see this thread is still alive and kicking. I have not had a chance to read through the whole thing, but I will catch up to where I left off back in August 2007 somewhere...
Susan

 

[plgrn]

We are independently wealthy and can go where ever we want when we want to.
Susan

Teach Meeee

 

[PhotobearSam]

Hey guys...Come over here...

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1202587&page=61

We are posting pics of our Child-free families...Including furbabies...

Come join us.

 

[maddhatir]

Hey guys...Come over here...

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1202587&page=61

We are posting pics of our Child-free families...Including furbabies...

Come join us.

I never knew that thread existed!

 

[arielchickenofthesea]

Teach Meeee

Investments, my dear! That is the only way to do it and getting older while watching those investments grow!

 

[maddhatir]

Hi peoples-

Had to go to the Gyn today for my annual exam and found out I have an ovarian cyst- blah blah- nothing serious, anyway....

Not sure if you all get this at your Gyns office, but there are always new moms there, pregnant women, yes- I know it is also an OB office anywho- today a mom walks in with her daughter maybe 9 and in comes her DH holding their one year old- I know b/c the 9 year told the woman that worked there.....

It's all quiet and the dad is holding the baby- well, the baby now is bored and wants to walk around....near me I am the only other one besides them in the waiting room.

I am "pretending" to watch the TV and out of the corner of my eye, I see him....eeeek...... coming closer! Now is the time in your head you are hopping he will ignore you *go away kid*, but NOOOoooooo- he looks at me, bhaaaa I can't ignore the kid.

*great what do I say, hello? the kid is one- like he cares...hello, that is SO stupid* *smile? no that is not enough, he will want more than a smile* *great he might want baby talk, ugh! I am NOT playing with this kid* *please call my name, please call my name*

In the meantime- the dad and the sister are just looking at him like, oooo, you are so cute staring at that lady *PLEASE come and get this kid!* *call my NAAAAAME!*

(pretty bad that I would rather be in stirrups than make eye contact with a kid)

Finally- I put my big smile on... "hey, and how are YOU?" was my opening line. He was happy with it- seemed impressed by gift for gab *oh GOD- he is slobbering and walking near my NEW Sailor Jerry handbag- step away from the bag kid...OMG It is dripping from his little mouth someone please catch it!*

*ugh- thank goodness- he is going back to dad*

"Maddhatir, the doctor will see you now" *great- wehre were YOU when I needed you?*

 

[ForTheLoveofDisney]

Teach Meeee

Meeeee Toooooo!!!!


Madd, I am cracking up!! Mostly because I have BEEN there before!! And I was picturing myself in that situation. I've always said I hate going to the Gyn because of the other people in the waiting room not because of the gyn himself. And it could be just because I'm on edge but I swear I've always sat near someone who wants to strike up a conversation!
Please do not talk to me!!! Do I LOOK like someone who wants to talk? With you? Gaaahhh!

Speaking of which I need to find one down here. I haven't been in like a year and a half. Sorry for the TMI to all our guy peeps on the MCNtHK thread.

 

[plgrn]

Hi peoples-

Had to go to the Gyn today for my annual exam and found out I have an ovarian cyst- blah blah- nothing serious, anyway....

Not sure if you all get this at your Gyns office, but there are always new moms there, pregnant women, yes- I know it is also an OB office anywho- today a mom walks in with her daughter maybe 9 and in comes her DH holding their one year old- I know b/c the 9 year told the woman that worked there.....

It's all quiet and the dad is holding the baby- well, the baby now is bored and wants to walk around....near me I am the only other one besides them in the waiting room.

I am "pretending" to watch the TV and out of the corner of my eye, I see him....eeeek...... coming closer! Now is the time in your head you are hopping he will ignore you *go away kid*, but NOOOoooooo- he looks at me, bhaaaa I can't ignore the kid.

*great what do I say, hello? the kid is one- like he cares...hello, that is SO stupid* *smile? no that is not enough, he will want more than a smile* *great he might want baby talk, ugh! I am NOT playing with this kid* *please call my name, please call my name*

In the meantime- the dad and the sister are just looking at him like, oooo, you are so cute staring at that lady *PLEASE come and get this kid!* *call my NAAAAAME!*

(pretty bad that I would rather be in stirrups than make eye contact with a kid)

Finally- I put my big smile on... "hey, and how are YOU?" was my opening line. He was happy with it- seemed impressed by gift for gab *oh GOD- he is slobbering and walking near my NEW Sailor Jerry handbag- step away from the bag kid...OMG It is dripping from his little mouth someone please catch it!*

*ugh- thank goodness- he is going back to dad*

"Maddhatir, the doctor will see you now" *great- wehre were YOU when I needed you?*

Madd, I have soooo been there. I never know what to say when a little kid approaches me like that! Even though I think of stranger's kids as barely a step above vermin, I can't let the parents see that on my face! And then just what DO you say in acknowledgment?? I usually just go "hi there" or "aren't you cute?" with a s***eating grin on my face wishing I didn't have to say or do either.

 

[Hixski]

Madd: You are cracking me up with the blow by blow replay!!

Kids ALWAYS gravitate to DH and I. The little girls always flirt with him. I tell him it is because of his bad boy looks. Those girls are trying to get their bad boy fix in early!!

 

[arielchickenofthesea]

Madd: You are cracking me up with the blow by blow replay!!

Kids ALWAYS gravitate to DH and I. The little girls always flirt with him. I tell him it is because of his bad boy looks. Those girls are trying to get their bad boy fix in early!!

That is funny! Kids always glom onto my DH as well. He has a way with kids and animals. He usually can entertain a kid if the baby is on someone's shoulder when we are in line and he starts making faces at the baby and the baby smiles and laughs. DH gets a kick out of it, but does NOT want our own to do it with. Living vicariously through other people's kids is always better, Cheaper too! They get all the bills and we can have a little fun with the kidlets and not have to take them home!
Susan

 

[arielchickenofthesea]

Another thought I had while I was sitting here reading this great thread, was that DH and I are going to WDW in May. We will be going on the Platinum plan that is all inclusive of recreation, massages, fireworks cruises, preferred seating for fireworks and Illuminations, Fantasmic special seating, etc..etc.. Check out the plan on the Disney website. You will be amazed at what is included.

We will be staying at the Polynesian Concierge for 11 days and then transfer over to the Yacht Club for 10 days. WOO HOO!!!!!! What a trip this is gonna be. Romance is in the air! Yes, indeedy!!!! WOO HOO!

We could NEVER afford that type of trip with kids and believe me going to WDW with DH is like going with a big kid! LOL! Of course I turn into a squealy little girl at WDW or DL as well so we ARE actually our own kids! LOLOLOL!!!!!

It is nice to be pampered and not have to worry about what to do with *the kids*. Our furry kids will be nice and safe at the Kennel with people who love them and know them well, because we are able to take many trips to DL and WDW.

We do the 3 week Platinum WDW trip once a year. We spend other vacayshes at DL, a week at a time. I like the freedom to tour the Parks as we want and have romantic sunsets in World Showcase or on the balcony of the 12th floor of the Coontemporary. It is so cozy to sit and hold hands and watch the fireworks from there too. This year at the Poly and the Yacht, we will have a different experience. Next year, I think I might want to try the Animal Kingdom Lodge and enjoy the Sunrise and Sunset Safaris and maybe check out Grand Floridian. We try to stay at a different place every trip to see what the differences are and how we like them. So far, the Contemporary is our very favorite because of the great view iof the MK from up high. I am so looking forward to Stormalong Bay this next trip.

I am so happy I never had kids and I can say that with conviction. I decided VERY young to never have them and at 54, I still am very content and happy. My husband is 44 and is very happy with our romantic relationship. We have quiet mornings just watching TV in bed and go to lunch together and do pick up for dinner quite often.

The only thing missing is living closer to the magic! And that is being worked on. The house is for sale, half of our *stuff* is packed and ready for a garage sale and we are looking at places when we go to WDW in May.

It may be a while before we can buy a home in Florida til our house sells. We want to move there ahead and rent while our house is on the market and then we can get an idea if we REALLY want to move there or back to California. This time the move would be to So Cal. We are Northern Californians, born and raised, living in Denver now. I miss the ocean so much.
And if Florida was not the right spot for us, maybe So Cal wold be. We really wan to work at a Disney Park, since we are retired and that would be fun and keep us out with lots of people. So we really have to check it out.



When I was in my 20's back in the 1970's, most people did not give it a thought. They just went ahead got married and had kids. Every other girl in my high school group of aboout 10 gals, had kids. I am the only one who did not. I was into being a liberated woman before it was fashionable and the ERA got apssed! LOL!

I keep in touch with my very best friend from high school from 36 years ago! WOW!!! She married very young out of high school, had the kids and now she in some ways wished she had waited a bit longer to marry and done some things for herself. She is having a midlife crisis about it. She tells me how lucky I was to live my life the way I did. Making my own decisions and doing what I wanted and not marrying til 46 ys old.

She tells me she does not know herself very well other than as *Mom* and *Grandma*. She tells me she needs to find out who SHE is inside. She never had the chance to seek that out all those years of raising kids and living the married with children life.

I understand that need to know yourself. It is the way I have lived my whole life, not through the eyes of others and the labels they give me, ie; friend, mother (of furry children) , child, sister...etc, but who I am as me, Susan!

She and her hubby spend some vacations with us and we met at WDW in 2006. We had so much fun, the 4 of us and I could tell she was having the time of her life! She was FREE!!!!! She has a son with two kids that had moved back in with them (they had NO where else to go) and my friend could not let them live in the street. He was not contributing to the household, did not work and put them so far into debt because they had to work more hours to support the son and the two kids, My friend and her DH paid for ALL the food, medical expenses, clothing, education expenses, toys and other expenses that a family of five can rack up! She just wants her life back. Getting away to visit us here and to WDW and DL were fun trips for her, but more than that they got her away from all those pressing comittments. She felt free and relaxed to get away from it.

SO, it is NOT always true that your kids will take care of you. They may come back and leech off of the parents if they are allowed to. She has now laid the law down, the grandkids have gone to their maternal grandmother since their mom is in Iraq and does not want the kids anyway, (never did) and my friend's son has moved out at my friend and her husband's insistence.

The son and daughter in law are divorced. That is why he moved in with my friend and the daughter never really wanted the kids anyway. She is a career military woman.

Here is a great example of a woman who should NEVER have had kids in the first place. She does not want to raise them and she pays nothing for their support. She does not even want to see them. I met the whole family on one of our Disneyland trips. The daughter in law came along with the rest of the family and was very cold to the kids, but the son INSISTED she see them. Sad situation, and kids are involved.

My friends are now trying to rebuild their credit so they can move far away from the kids. She does not want a repeat performance. They actually want to move down to Florida to be near WDW as well and to be near us when we move there. The four of us have so much fun together sans kids and it is a good, fun relationship. We enjoy each other's company and have enough fun without children getting involved. She can tell me stories about the kids when she was raising them and I listen, and I tell her about my life without kids and we enjoy hearing each other's life experiences since they took us down two very divergent roads.

We had lost touch over the years and it was not until 2006 that we found one another again via the internet and for our first meeting we met at WDW. It was incredible! NO kids, just 4 adults being big kids together!

There are as many stories about kids and not having kids as there are people and each one is unique. Each person has to make the best decision for their own lives. No one should press their opinions on anyone else. Whether it is disguised as friendly chatter or direct in your face comments, neither are appreciated by anyone. For those who have kids and love them, more power to you! For those who do not and know they don't want them, more power to you too! I made the decision very young and have NEVER once regretted it. I never once *changed my mind* as I got older, as so many told me I would. Follow your hearts and your own inner voices and you will not be steered wrong.
I LOVE this thread!

Susan

 

[WDWguru]

They CLOSED the only other long standing childfree thread on the DIS tonight! The "cheerfully childfree" thread on the community board had been going since August of 2006. We'd had a few interlopers here and there, but we've always come out of it clean. Somebody came in to stir the pot a few days ago and it was getting back on track as usual, then one of the mods just CLOSED it! NO FAIR! It wasn't even one of the worst arguments we'd had on the thread!

I actually sent a message (via the report button on the last post) begging them to reopen it as it was one of only TWO threads on the DIS for us but I doubt it will do much good. If they won't do it, I'll wait a few days and start a new one. But looking at half the crap on the community board, I think it's completely bogus that they closed it.

 

[Hixski]

They CLOSED the only other long standing childfree thread on the DIS tonight! The "cheerfully childfree" thread on the community board had been going since August of 2006. We'd had a few interlopers here and there, but we've always come out of it clean. Somebody came in to stir the pot a few days ago and it was getting back on track as usual, then one of the mods just CLOSED it! NO FAIR! It wasn't even one of the worst arguments we'd had on the thread!

I actually sent a message (via the report button on the last post) begging them to reopen it as it was one of only TWO threads on the DIS for us but I doubt it will do much good. If they won't do it, I'll wait a few days and start a new one. But looking at half the crap on the community board, I think it's completely bogus that they closed it.

We are probably better off over here. The CB is loaded with people who just like to

If you start a new one make sure it has a nice respectful title. No need to get anyone riled up right off the bat. If anyone comes here to stir things up we just need to report them. If we get snarky back this one will just get closed too.