Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[druidia]

Do we think that ADD is a new thing? It wasn't around in the 50's or 60's or 70's? No, I just think it was controlled alot better and kids were not allowed to run amuck!

I've always hated the diagnoses of ADHD/ADD...they seem like such a cop-out. I recall being a very hyper child, and it was mostly because I was bored. I did not have a problem that required medication, I needed attention and something to do. I think today parents are just too quick to medicate because they don't want to be bothered with their children or giving them attention. Why do these people have kids to begin with?

 

[Mischa]

That's the key - parents don't want to be "bothered" with their own kids!

 

[maddhatir]

Did anyone see the interview with the parents on GMA???

They said the kid had ear surgery (not sure how long ago)

The father said maybe on the flight down she had pain in her ear-- and when they were going home- she associated the plane with the ear pain and thats why she was like she was

Then why wasnt she misbehaving on the flight down if she was in that much pain........

once again-- excuses parents make for their kids!

 

[vatmark]

God that makes me sick.

Stop with the excuses already. They should just admit that they are embarassed about their childs behavior and know that it is their own poor parenting to blame.

When does the lawsuit start.

Annie

 

[Hixski]

Since they are blaming "childless adults" too I think "WE" should all sue for defamation of character.

 

[kennancat]

Arghh - okay, the "Woman 35 and older who've had babies" thread on the CB is depressing me We're 32 right now, and I'm back on the fence about the whole kids thing. I really wish I could pick a side and stay on it! I definitely don't want kids right now, but I can't help but think that if I ever do, there are only so many years left to do it. And I swear, every couple I know has had fertility problems, regardless of age. I know as least two couples that IVF'd and suspect a third is thinking about it. And it's so unfair that women have a shorter "shelf life", so to speak, then men. I actually made a couple of calls when I was still doing my undergrad to find out if I could have my eggs frozen. AT the time the technology just wasnt there yet. If I ever do have a daughter, I'll offer to pay for hers at 20 just so she doesn't have to feel pressured later

At this point, I think I know myself well enough to know that I'll always wonder what would happen if I'd made the other choice, whether we have kids or not. That's been the hardest part for me about getting older - it feels like every choice I make reduces the number of choices I have left. I know we just need to make the best decision possible with the information we have now and decide that we're going to be happy with it. When I'm being rational, I really do think that happiness is a decision; if you decide you're going to find the things in your life that are good and enjoy them, you'll be happy. If you look for things to be depressed about, you'll find them too no matter how good your life is.

And now my little pity party/hissy fit is over and you can return to your usual DISsing

 

[Hixski]

Arghh - okay, the "Woman 35 and older who've had babies" thread on the CB is depressing me We're 32 right now, and I'm back on the fence about the whole kids thing. I really wish I could pick a side and stay on it! I definitely don't want kids right now, but I can't help but think that if I ever do, there are only so many years left to do it. And I swear, every couple I know has had fertility problems, regardless of age. I know as least two couples that IVF'd and suspect a third is thinking about it. And it's so unfair that women have a shorter "shelf life", so to speak, then men. I actually made a couple of calls when I was still doing my undergrad to find out if I could have my eggs frozen. AT the time the technology just wasnt there yet. If I ever do have a daughter, I'll offer to pay for hers at 20 just so she doesn't have to feel pressured later

At this point, I think I know myself well enough to know that I'll always wonder what would happen if I'd made the other choice, whether we have kids or not. That's been the hardest part for me about getting older - it feels like every choice I make reduces the number of choices I have left. I know we just need to make the best decision possible with the information we have now and decide that we're going to be happy with it. When I'm being rational, I really do think that happiness is a decision; if you decide you're going to find the things in your life that are good and enjoy them, you'll be happy. If you look for things to be depressed about, you'll find them too no matter how good your life is.

And now my little pity party/hissy fit is over and you can return to your usual DISsing

I would think the Airtran toddler would have pushed you over to our side for good.

Seriously though, DH and I were fence sitters for a long time. I got off the pill when I was your age. Nothing happened. At 36 I had some minor surgery. We needed to decide just what we were going to do. Do everything possible to have a child or just not worry about it. We chose not to worrry about it. We could be happy just the 2 of us. We are now 47 and 48 and do not regret for a moment our decision. If we need a kid fix we have kids to go to for that. We have a dog and I give him my "mommy" love. That said we were probably always on the no kids side of the fence which made our decision alot easier.

 

[scg73]

It´s always great to go to WDW with NO KIDS! I hope to enjoy there if I have children someday too. But going just with my husband is just the best.

 

[plgrn]

Just back from our last trip to the world during our "Year of a Million Trips Annual Pass Spree." Goodbye Disney for at least a couple years.

Saw 3 good parents the entire trip and about 60 bad ones. The rest were undeterminable. Here's some of the hi-lites

1. On the crowded ferry boat from MGM to Boardwalk we were seated in the front row while a group of 3 kids were rough-housing all over our personal area. After about 5 minutes the dad had finally had enough and raised his voice to get their attention and tell them to settle down. It worked thank God, but then the mom immediately gets down on one knee and APOLOGIZES to the kids for raising her voice. First of all she didn't raise it too much because neither Mom or I remember hearing her. Secondly, where is the rule that you shouldn't raise your voice at your kids? Particularly if they are behaving like a tribe of natives and that's the only way to be heard above the ruckus. Morons

2. Standing room only at midnight going back to POP from MK's extra magic hours...Mom (at 4'9") and me (at 5'2") are standing at the front of the bus barely behind the yellow line. Seated on the front row directly behind mom is a 3 year old and a 4 year old each with their own seats while their parents sit behind them and no move to put either of them in their laps despite the crowded conditions. Old ladies are having to stand and be thrown around on this bus while these kids have their own seats. Then the 4 year old has the audacity to turn to her mother and whine... "mommy this lady's leg (my mom's) is touching me." My mother whipped around, scowled at her and said "my leg's gotta go someplace kid!" Five minutes later the little girls fall asleep on each other. The parents are ooohing and ahhing and trying to get everyone nearby to look at "how cute they are! They fell asleep on each other! This is the first time they've ever done that!" Lady....you're kids are not cute in the least. In fact, they look about as cute as a pair of pterodactyls right now since they are the sole reason my midget mother and I are wedged under a tall guy's armpit. PUT THEM IN YOUR LAP. They are not the queens of the universe.

3. This takes the cake. At the petting zoo at Rafiki's they have a roped off area where the goats and sheep can go to get away from monster children. If they want to be petted or brushed they can come out of the area or stay along the edges, but that roped off area is supposed to be their refuge. As we're exiting the area I hear "Isabella! You may not go in there!" Which is a pretty dumb thing to say since they kid is already smack in the middle of the roped off area. "Isabella come here!" At this point the mother is screaming at her and causing a scene. Isabella is ignoring her of course since she knows there is nothing (e.g. a butt whooping) to back up her mother's screaming. Finally a poor cast member comes over and tries to get control of the situation by politely encouraging the little darling to come out. The cast member gets inside the roped off area and the little girl runs from her! The CM used this to her advantage by literally herding the vile creature towards her mother. The mother grabs her hand at which point the little girl lays on the ground and starts rolling around in the dirt and goat droppings. You have no idea how badly I wanted to grab a brush, start grooming her and then feed her some pellets. Maybe that would give the mother a clue that she has raised an animal and not a human being. Worse than an animal actually....the goats were better behaved and they were eating people's clothes!

4. Then of course there's the usual bad behavior that isn't even winked at anymore because it's so common. A little girl was screaming and throwing everything in her stroller to the ground as hard as she could in order to get her way. Rosemary, you're baby doesn't belong anywhere this pure and magical. Take her to Universal Studios! I believe the modern PC term for that now is "having a meltdown." A meltdown If by meltdown you mean that's what happens to your @ss after you've thrown a fit then I'm all for the term!

These are the top four. Nevermind all the kids illegally wearing wheelies, speaking to their parents as if they were less than garbage, or invading the personal space of others for completely unnecessary reasons. Bring on the flames.

 

[plgrn]

This trip, I decided to seek our some good parenting, and believe me it was hard to find! In all fairness these parents and children do not deserve to be mentioned on the previous post. They get their own!

1. During check-in at POP there was a little boy about 5 years old sitting on top of a suitcase who did not run around or open his mouth for a full 10 mintues. He sat there contentedly and looked around in awe of all the "eye candy" in the lobby while his parents checked in.

2. While waiting in line at midnight to catch the bus back to POP (the same one which had the pterodactyls on it) there was a little girl about 7 or 8 who was sooo tired. Instead of whining or screaming, she layed her backpack down on the concrete and layed her head down on it until the bus got there. I know adults who don't have that much self-control! Kudos to her.

3. At the Nine Dragons restaurant at EPCOT there was a little girl about 2 who sat in her high chair the entire meal without begging to get down or whining about anything. Furthermore, she allowed the 5 adults in her party to have dinner conversation with no interruption. She was happy to be in a new place and enjoying her meal.

Those were the only particularly well-behaved children we saw on the trip. See lazy parent? It can be done! You just have to care more about your child than you do YOURSELF and your own comfort/convenience. Child training and discipline takes hard work which most parents nowadays are not willing to put forth.

I wish there was some sort of good parenting "winkie button" I could hand out when I see excellent parenting and well-behaved children. Both should be rewarded and sadly in our society they are not. The squeaky wheel gets the oil and that is why the insanity continues.

 

[PghLybrt]

2. Standing room only at midnight going back to POP from MK's extra magic hours...Mom (at 4'9") and me (at 5'2") are standing at the front of the bus barely behind the yellow line. Seated on the front row directly behind mom is a 3 year old and a 4 year old each with their own seats while their parents sit behind them and no move to put either of them in their laps despite the crowded conditions. Old ladies are having to stand and be thrown around on this bus while these kids have their own seats. Then the 4 year old has the audacity to turn to her mother and whine... "mommy this lady's leg (my mom's) is touching me." My mother whipped around, scowled at her and said "my leg's gotta go someplace kid!" Five minutes later the little girls fall asleep on each other. The parents are ooohing and ahhing and trying to get everyone nearby to look at "how cute they are! They fell asleep on each other! This is the first time they've ever done that!" Lady....you're kids are not cute in the least. In fact, they look about as cute as a pair of pterodactyls right now since they are the sole reason my midget mother and I are wedged under a tall guy's armpit. PUT THEM IN YOUR LAP. They are not the queens of the universe.

Bring on the flames.

Ok the whole thing had me

Now as for the whole bus thing, at least the parents were not yelling at you to be quite because their daughters were sleeping! (We seriously had that happen!)

Oh and no flames from me!

 

[plgrn]

Now as for the whole bus thing, at least the parents were not yelling at you to be quite because their daughters were sleeping! (We seriously had that happen!)

OMG! What did you do? I would have got thrown off the bus for eating them for breakfast.

 

[PghLybrt]

OMG! What did you do? I would have got thrown off the bus for eating them for breakfast.

Well we (my girlfriend and I ) were with her little sister (by little I mean 24) and her parents. Renee (the sister) does not take kindly to being told what to do especially when it is in public. She went to town,. They thought she was loud before she was even more so after (and borderline vulgar….it made me smile is that wrong?)

The worst part was that it was only around 8pm. I wanted to give them money for a taxi. Hell that’s what we do after we are out drinking....we never get into a bus and expect people to pander to us!

 

[plgrn]

.it made me smile is that wrong?)

Nope! I would have laughed right along with you.

 

[PghLybrt]

Nope! I would have laughed right along with you.

Oh how I wish you were on that bus!

 

[Hixski]

We never ride the buses at Disney if we can avoid them. Of course we stay at BCV so that does help quite a bit. I don't have much tolerance to stand on my woefully cartilage challenged knees. I look fine so I know if I don't get a seat early I have to stand the whole way. DH has no tolerance for small kids in their own seat especially since he knows I can't stand for a long time. I have also had a few kicks in the knees by some of these little sweethearts. We just leave the busses to everyone else.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

2. Standing room only at midnight going back to POP from MK's extra magic hours...Mom (at 4'9") and me (at 5'2") are standing at the front of the bus barely behind the yellow line. Seated on the front row directly behind mom is a 3 year old and a 4 year old each with their own seats while their parents sit behind them and no move to put either of them in their laps despite the crowded conditions. Old ladies are having to stand and be thrown around on this bus while these kids have their own seats.

I've seen threads on the DISboards re: WDW transportation where posters INSIST that no women or children should have to stand on the buses, and that all adult men should stand and offer their seats to all women and children. It's ridiculous!

DH & I will offer our seats to elderly passengers and to people with very young kids who could not be expected to stand, but all women and children?? It is SO rude that the parents did not take their little kids into their laps and let you sit.

 

[kennancat]

Ok, this thread's gotten quiet again and I thought this would be good for a laugh. I was doing a google search on "meals eaten away from home" for replying to another thread when I came across this article: http://www.elliott.org/archives/000995kiddie_meals_re.php

Not too bad, except for a suggestion near the end:

"Anticipate the cost of a someone else's child ruining your meal," [UCLA psychiatrist Mark Goulston] says. In addition to the common-sense steps, such as asking for another table or talking to the parents, he suggests that diners carry "little trinkets, toys or candies" with them to entice children to pipe down. "You'll win over the parent and the kid," he says.

Heck no, I am not carrying goodies for strangers' kids! If their parents haven't taught them proper manners and/or don't care to control them, how on earth is my rewarding the kids for misbehaving (since that's essentially what this would be) going to help them? I'll be happy to give away the toy from my happy meal at McDonald's, but I draw the line there! I'm glad to see one of the responders to the article also thought this guy was off his rocker.

 

[plgrn]

That's nuts. Once again proof that children are taking over the world! Only because stupid parents let them of course.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Ok, this thread's gotten quiet again and I thought this would be good for a laugh. I was doing a google search on "meals eaten away from home" for replying to another thread when I came across this article: http://www.elliott.org/archives/000995kiddie_meals_re.php

Not too bad, except for a suggestion near the end:

Heck no, I am not carrying goodies for strangers' kids! If their parents haven't taught them proper manners and/or don't care to control them, how on earth is my rewarding the kids for misbehaving (since that's essentially what this would be) going to help them? I'll be happy to give away the toy from my happy meal at McDonald's, but I draw the line there! I'm glad to see one of the responders to the article also thought this guy was off his rocker.

Maybe you could inject something into the goodies, then hand the out.

Granted, I really want children, but there is no reason to let them get away with behaving this way. My mother or grandmother would have spanked me right there in the middle of the restaurant if I dared to misbehave. Parents don't even bother to try "training" their children anymore and it drives me absolutely nuts

My cousin has three children and I won't go out to eat with her anywhere, because she lets them behave any way they want to and they drop food on the floor and it looks like animals from the zoo ate there. But you can't blame the children, because it is the parents that are at fault.

I think everyone should have to pass a test before they have children, and those that have unruly children should be beaten and made to eat the food off the floor. What is this world coming to.

PrincessSuzanne